by K. Langston
As soon as I opened the door, Bernard let out a long, tortured meow before sauntering up to her, curling his body around her good foot, staking his claim.
The bastard.
“I thought you said he was an asshole.” She giggled.
“He is an asshole. To everyone except me. But I had a feeling you’d be the exception. You always have been.”
Her eyes swung to mine, a small smile dancing across her wet lips.
“C’mon in, let’s get you settled.”
After showing her the layout, I helped her get situated on the couch, propping her foot up on a few pillows. I tried not to think about where I was touching her but it was impossible. Each brush of our hands and bodies, no matter how light, set my skin on fire.
“Are you in pain? Do you need one of your pills?” I asked, reaching for her bag of prescriptions.
“Not right now. Maybe later.”
With a nod, I grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and draped it across her legs. Bernard leaped up from the floor, taking position right in the center of her lap once she was covered.
“Bernard, get down.”
Her tiny hand stroked his charcoal fur. “He’s fine, Ryker.” Her voice was soft, affectionate. “He’s so sweet.”
Bernard’s content purr indicated his sentiments were being reciprocated.
Unbelievable.
Even my own mother thought Bernard was an asshole.
And she loved everyone.
I took a seat on the coffee table, resting my forearms on my knees, wishing for the first time I was that stupid cat so I could be that close to her. “Well, at least he’s being polite. Nobody but me can get near him.”
“This sweet little guy? No way.”
“It’s true. He’s very protective of me. He meow-growls at everyone who comes over, and God forbid anyone touch him.”
She laughed, the sound echoing throughout the open room. It was a beautiful sound, one I wanted to hear again and again. “Meow-growls? Is that even a word?”
“Yeah, if you ever look it up, it’ll have his ugly mug right there by the definition.”
“He doesn’t seem so bad. How long have you had him?”
“About two years now. This old lady named Mrs. Letty used to live on the first floor. She was sweet. Flirty, but sweet. She had a son, but he was a piece of shit, never checked on her or came to visit, so I’d look in on her from time to time. Make sure she didn’t need anything. She’d bake me cookies, even had me over for dinner a couple of times. She passed away in her sleep and a few weeks later her lawyer contacted me and told me she’d left me everything. Couple thousand dollars, some old 45s, and this ornery ass cat.”
Her pale blue eyes lifted to mine. “Letty was lucky to have you in her final days, and I’m sure she gave you this sweet kitty for a good reason.”
“Yeah, to drive me crazy.”
She looked down at Bernard, then back at me.
“Maybe she didn’t want you to be alone, like she was.”
A tear slipped down her cheek, and I reached out to catch it before it fell, then I curled my fingers around her chin, bringing her eyes to mine. “You’re not alone, MaryAnn. And as long as I’m breathing, you never will be.”
Her eyes searched mine. For what, I don’t know, but I’d make damn sure she found it.
“You hungry?”
She nodded.
“You want chicken noodle soup?”
“More than life itself.”
The early morning sun peeked through the dark curtains, casting bright rays of sunshine across the hardwood floor. I blinked, remembering where I was.
Ryker’s.
I smiled then stretched. My sore body screamed in protest, but I’d never felt more well-rested. The small smile inched across my lips when I thought about last night. Ryker was so sweet and attentive. After he made me dinner, waiting on me hand and foot, he pulled out a few of those old 45s Letty had given him and we sat and talked until midnight, reminiscing about our childhood before he finally helped me to bed. Where I lay awake for hours, wondering what I was going to do next.
I had no idea where to even start. What would I do? Where would I work? Where would I live?
Every thought seemed so daunting. Yet, I still had hope. Hope that I did have a future. One where I wasn’t dependent on a man for my happiness or an income. I should be making plans, goals, but I had no idea where to start.
Maybe start by getting out of bed.
Pushing back the comforter, I placed both feet on the floor then pulled in a deep breath. Knowing these feet would not be carrying out any of Trent’s orders today gave me a newfound sense of independence.
That seemed to lift my spirits even more.
The guest bedroom was small but cozy, located just across the hall from Ryker’s room. Furnished with a simple full bed, nightstand, and dresser. The only décor was a stunning canvas painting of an arrow on the wall above the bed. The mixture of colors and textures was exquisite. I narrowed my eyes at the signature below to find RLC in the bottom left-hand corner.
Smiling to myself, I shuffled toward the door on my crutches.
Miraculously, I made it to the bathroom, struggling a bit to take care of my business. These crutches were already a pain in the ass. How the hell was I even going to shower? Speaking of which, I really needed one of those. But I would need coffee before tackling such an enormous chore.
I inched slowly toward the kitchen, where I found a note sitting on the counter next to a new iPhone, a key fob, and a single brass key.
Good morning.
I’m downstairs working out in the gym. I’ll be back around 8:30. I wasn’t sure if you liked coffee, but I prepped it anyway, so all you have to do is press start.
The phone is yours.
I need to be able to communicate with you and check on you, and you need a way to get in touch with me. My number is programmed. Call me anytime you need anything.
I mean it, MaryAnn.
Anything.
The key fob gets you in and out of the building and the key is to my apartment.
Bernard is on guard, so rest easy.
See you soon.
Ryker
The freedom in these three little items was so great, so profound. I hadn’t had a cell phone I could use at my leisure in two years. And even though I had no intentions of going anywhere alone anytime soon, it felt good to know I could without asking permission from anyone.
My throat tightened, tears stinging my eyes. I lifted the phone from the countertop, swiping the screen, but all it delivered was a wave of panic. It slipped from my fingers, clattering against the granite loudly. Collapsing to the floor, pain sliced through my foot like a hot blade. However, the pain was minimal compared to the deep ache in my chest.
How did I lose myself to him so easily? How could I allow him to control me the way he did?
Fear.
There was so much fear. I was still terrified. I knew he wouldn’t be in jail forever and the time would come when he would try to find me. My body trembled and shook with the thought of seeing him again.
“Shit, MaryAnn, are you okay?” The voice was faint due to my uncontrollable sobbing, but I registered the concern in his measured tone.
“Yes,” I replied, but I was not okay.
I didn’t know if I ever would be.
“Damn it. I shouldn’t have left you.” His face was inches from mine, one hand on my knee, the other fanning the side of my face. “What is it? What’s wrong? Did you fall?”
I shook my head, the tears coming in earnest now. “I’m scared.”
“You have nothing to be afraid of anymore.”
“What about when he gets out? He’s going to come looking for me.”
“He won’t find you. Trust me.”
Ryker gathered me in his arms, lifting me from the floor and settling us on the couch. He situated me on his lap, cradling my head to his strong chest as I cried.
Gently stroki
ng my head, he murmured soft words against my hair. “Everything will be all right, I promise.”
His words sunk into my heart, echoing through the shattered walls.
Safe, strong arms holding me close, the smell of sweat mixed with something else, something powerful and real. My fingers knotted in his shirt, desperate to hold onto the feeling he provided. He calmed me in a way no one else could. I knew I shouldn’t latch on to it. But how could I not? There was so much conviction in his voice. Then, when his lips pressed against the temple of my head, right where Trent had inflicted that nasty gash, I completely melted against him. The gesture offering up far more than comfort.
That tender kiss gave me peace.
“I’ve been afraid for so long,” I confessed.
“Not anymore.”
Surprisingly enough, the thought of falling in love with Ryker all over again didn’t scare me at all. I certainly knew what love was not.
Maybe it was time to learn what love could really be.
“I know what you need,” he finally said.
“What?”
“A bath.”
I pretended to be appalled but my smile gave me away. He was good at making me smile. “You trying to tell me I stink, Cunningham?”
His hand moved to the back of my neck, angling it so he could drag his nose along my jawline. “Hell no. The way you smell is making it really hard to be a gentleman right now.”
A roaring desire swept through me, and I closed my eyes, welcoming the oncoming heat. “Really?”
He shifted beneath me.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
His eyes held mine. “I think it would help you relax.”
“How do you always know what I need?”
Reaching for my hand, he placed it over his pounding heart. “I just know.”
Ryker hovered as I shuffled toward the bathroom, his hand placed protectively at the small of my back to ensure I made it in one piece. I hobbled to the toilet, taking a seat on the closed lid as I looked down longingly at the tub. It was quite large. And rather clean, despite his earlier remark about being messy. I mean, he wasn’t the neatest guy in the world, but he wasn’t a slob either.
Leaning over, he plugged the drain before turning the faucet on, checking the water several times until the temperature was to his liking. “I’ll grab a plastic bag to wrap your foot so it won’t get wet.”
“I think I can manage not to get my foot wet.”
He didn’t even give me a backward glance when he left the room.
I lifted the hem of my shirt, removing my top and holding it over my chest, realizing for the first time that I would need Ryker’s help to take off my yoga pants. The nurse had helped me dress before I left the hospital yesterday, so it didn’t occur to me until now just how much help I would really need.
I quickly pushed aside my embarrassment.
This was Ryker.
He would be nothing less than a complete gentleman. Smiling, I remembered his remark in the living room.
The way you smell is making it really hard to be a gentleman right now.
He came back holding a plastic bag, his steps faltered momentarily when he found me half undressed with a big smile smothering my face.
“What’s so funny?”
Only confusion and what could easily be described as desire, registered in his eyes.
My smile quickly faded, nervousness staking its claim.
“I—I know this is awkward, but can we pretend for just one second that you’re not about to see me naked?”
Reaching past me, he switched off the water, allowing the space to fill with heated silence. My words hung between us like the steam billowing throughout the room.
“It’ll be real fucking hard, but I promise not to look.”
Eyes locked on mine, he pulled the shirt from my hands, dropping it to the floor, and a shiver rippled across my sensitive skin. His soft blue eyes never fell below my mouth as he helped me stand up, placing my palms on top of his broad shoulders to steady me.
His hands moved to my waist. Air froze in my throat as warm fingers grazed my skin in deft whispers of care.
Adoration.
Ryker lied.
He promised not to look.
But I could feel his eyes all over me, and if it wasn’t his hungry gaze it was his hot breath, traveling across my skin with every move he made.
For the first time in years, I felt like I could finally breathe again.
Suddenly, he took in a sharp breath then reached out, fingering the small ring hanging from a silver chain around my neck. I’d kept it hidden from Trent, tucked away in my jewelry box for all these years.
“You kept it?”
“Of course I kept it.”
Those dark blue eyes lifted to mine. They were filled with so many questions, but instead he simply said, “Come on, get in before the water gets cold.”
Sitting in roll call the following day, I tried to pay attention to what Lieutenant Arnold was saying, as he spoke from behind the podium in the front of the room, but I couldn’t seem to focus on anything.
Except her, and that promise ring, and the last day I saw her.
Wearing a black dress with a gray cardigan that matched the late afternoon sky, MaryAnn sat on the swing in our backyard. Her long chestnut hair hung in soft waves over each shoulder, eyes trained on the ground as she swayed back and forth slowly. I didn’t need to see them to know they were red and puffy from crying. She’d been through so much the last ten days.
We all had.
Firefighters had yet to recover her parents from the devastating rubble. Both of them worked on the sixty-ninth floor, close to the point of impact. My father, police commissioner for the city of New York, has worked around the clock, searching. Not only for her parents but also for his brothers in blue and firefighters who ran in when the building was coming down.
A memorial service was held in their honor at church today, but I know it didn’t bring her any real comfort.
She’s still so sad.
I thought about how I would feel if I lost even one of my parents, the pain in my chest so overwhelming I could hardly breathe. I couldn’t imagine losing both and losing them like she had.
When I came to a stop in front of her, she lifted her grief-stricken eyes to mine. They were filled with so much sorrow. I wish I could take the pain away for her, but I have no idea how.
My father told me the pain would never go away, only become easier to bear as time passes.
“You okay?” I asked, kneeling down in front of her. It was a stupid question. I knew she wasn’t okay, but I didn’t know what else to say.
She shook her head, tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m moving away, Ryker. My grandmother, she’s taking me back to Oklahoma with her.”
My world stopped spinning. The axis completely broken and destroyed.
“When?”
“Our flight leaves tomorrow morning.”
Her grandmother arrived from Oklahoma five days later and had been here since. She would have come sooner but they shut down air traffic the three days following, so MaryAnn stayed with us. Each night, after everyone else went to sleep, she would sneak out of Reese’s room and come crawl in bed with me where I held her until she cried herself to sleep in my arms. I wanted to take her pain away so badly, carry it as my own, but I didn’t know how.
All I could do was be there for her, just like I promised.
“I’m so scared, Ryker. I feel so alone.”
Reaching for the back of her neck, I pulled her forward, pressing her forehead to mine. “Don’t be scared,” I whispered, trying to talk around the knot in my throat. “You’re not alone. You have me. You’ll always have me. I’ll write you every day.”
Those sad eyes that had lost their shine ten days ago began to sparkle with hope.
She nodded.
“I love you, MaryAnn. Time and distance will never change that.”
“I love you
too, Ryker.”
“Cunningham,” Lieutenant Gomez barked, interrupting my thoughts. “Meet me in my office after dismissal.”
Shit.
As soon as everyone cleared out, I made my way down the hall to his office. Working in the same precinct my father started out at, they all held me to a higher standard than most, especially my lieutenant, who was one of my father’s closest friends. Gomez was a pretty fair guy, though you just didn’t want to get on his bad side, and I’m pretty sure that’s where I was about to be sitting.
“You wanted to see me, sir?”
“Shut the door, son.”
Following his order, I took the seat in front of him. “I wanted you to hear this from me first.” He let go of a heavy sigh. “Deveraux was released on bail this morning.”
“Fuck. Already?”
“Afraid so. That lawyer of his is something else. He’ll probably walk for this, which pisses me off. There needs to be better, tougher laws in place for these situations.” He shook his head. “I do have some good news though. I’ve talked to the captain, and he’s approved for you to take your vacation early, per your request.”
I gave him a nod, silently thanking him.
It was very rare I took this much time off, but I had put in for vacation a few months ago to attend my parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary. All of my brothers and Reese were coming into town. It’s not often we were all together at once, so I took the extra time. But after what happened with MaryAnn, I’d requested more.
She needed me.
“Go ahead and finish out your shift today. I’ll keep you posted when I know more,” he said, getting up from his desk and opening the door.
“Thank you, sir.”
Leaving his office, I fished my phone from my pocket.
“Hey you,” MaryAnn’s voice cracked with sleep, answering on the second ring.
“Shit, did I wake you?”
“No, I woke up just before you called, but I haven’t made it out of bed yet. I’m too busy playing with this sweet kitty.”
She giggled.
I stopped mid-stride, rounding the corner.
The seductive sleepiness of her voice raced straight to my groin. Images bombarded my mind, one after the other of her lying in the bed, playing with her sweet…
