Come Alive (The Cityscape Series)

by Jessica Hawkins

  “They know each other, Bill,” Lucy said with an exaggerated eye roll.

  David’s voice seemed to drop an octave when he said, “David Dylan.” The handshake, so close to my face, was firm and lasted uncomfortably long. I watched as David studied him with drawn lips. Bill had heard David’s name in conversation, but I doubted that he remembered. Still, his hand tightened on my shoulder. Or is it my imagination?

  “Thanks again, Mrs. Greene,” David said, causing Lucy to titter into her hand. “You are a vision, and the ceremony was beautiful. Well done.”

  “Oh.” She waved him off exaggeratedly, but she blushed.

  “Are you driving back tonight?” My voice was thick, and I immediately regretted speaking when David looked directly at me.

  Lucy gasped. “You’re staying! We have room. Er, Dani has room.”

  I stilled under Bill’s hand.

  “No, thank you. I don’t have anything with me.”

  “Who cares? You can borrow stuff. Dani, come here!” Lucy’s hand flapped exaggeratedly, and she almost fell over.

  “Easy,” I said.

  Her eyes widened. “We can play board games. Dani, shouldn’t David stay the night?”

  “Yes,” Dani agreed quickly. I looked at the ground when I felt my cheeks heat.

  “I wouldn’t feel comfortable – ”

  “Oh David, you’re such a gentleman,” Lucy said, swatting his arm. “We’ll give you your own room, I was just teasing. John was supposed to stay the night, but he’s not. You can take his room.”

  Dani’s mouth fell open, but David nodded his agreement before she could protest. “Great!” she said instead. “Come on.” She walked toward the house and then looked over her shoulder. “David, come on. This way.” He looked anxious, but took a step backward before pivoting to follow her.

  I watched their retreating figures until Bill stepped around in front of me. “Did you have some cake?”

  “Yes.” I’d had a bite, so it wasn’t a lie. My stomach was far too distressed for something so sweet, though.

  “Good. Let’s get the hell out of these clothes,” he said, resting his hand on my upper back and leading me up the steps.

  “I’ll be right up,” Lucy called loudly.

  Bill laughed and shook his head. “She’s wasted.”

  “Was it fun being a groomsman?”

  “Yeah, actually. I didn’t think I would like it, but I had a good time.”

  When we entered the house, I searched furtively for David or Dani, but neither was in sight. I groaned inwardly. Was this really happening? Maybe tonight he would finally make his move. She’d be thrilled about it, I thought bitterly. But could I really blame her? Just let it go. Let him be happy. Isn’t that what I want ultimately? For everyone to just be happy, myself included? I nodded.

  CHAPTER 6

  BILL’S HAND SLID DOWN my shoulder. With a quick kiss, he pulled softly on my dress strap until it fell. I stood watching him as he backed away and undressed.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing.” I pulled my dress off the rest of the way and tried to shake David’s lingering touch from my back. I tugged Bill by the waistband of his boxers, and he stumbled to me.

  His lips found mine with a deeper kiss. I grabbed his hand roughly and put it around me, trying to erase any hint of David. I recognized the softness of his tongue and the smell of his soap, but the kiss was flat. My hair came free when I pulled on it, and he brushed it from my neck. Behind closed eyes, I remembered David’s expansive hand sliding down to my lower back, his fingertips alone driving me wild. I moaned into Bill’s mouth, and he became instantly hard.

  I scolded myself. I needed to forget David and to remember what Bill felt like. I had done this to us, and now I had to make things right. Or had we always been this way? I dashed away the thought and fell back on the bed, splaying out my arms. “Come on, Bill,” I said gruffly. I arched my back, offering my breasts. “Fuck me.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me,” I said. When he didn’t move, I huffed and sat up to grab his arm. “Get over here.”

  He aligned himself with the edge of the bed, and I wrapped my legs around him. Replace the memories, Bill. Now. Let’s make it right. Now, now, now –

  “The other night you said – ”

  “I don’t care what I said, just do it.” I needed him to take me because he couldn’t resist me another moment, because he was overcome with desire. I squirmed on the bed as I fought off the memory of David cornering me in the stairwell and proving that he couldn’t, wouldn’t, wait another second.

  “Okay.” Tentatively, he moved my thong aside and pulled down his boxers. He ran his hand over himself once and licked his fingers before touching me.

  “Yes,” I moaned loudly.

  He bent his knees and entered me slowly.

  “Oh, yes, Bill, come on.” I bucked my hips and used my heels to urge him deeper, trying to recapture the insatiable need that I’d felt with David. He grimaced. “What?” I asked.

  His chest deflated with a loud exhale. “Nothing.”

  It wasn’t nothing. He was still holding the base of his penis, but I felt him softening inside of me. “You can’t . . . ?”

  “I had a lot to drink,” he snapped. “And you’re . . . yelling at me,” he said as he pumped his fist over himself.

  “Do you need help?” I sat up and reached out, but he pulled back.

  “Don’t.”

  “Okay.”

  “And stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like I can’t get it up.”

  I searched for something else to look at, because I didn’t think I could not look at him that way. After a few moments, I sighed. “It’s fine, babe, let’s go see what the others are doing. We can try again later.”

  “No, I can do it,” he said, panting.

  I slid off the bed and kissed his shoulder. “It’s no big deal.” I was secretly relieved. Seeing David again had freshened the memories. It was unfair that I’d be thinking about him instead of Bill.

  I pulled on my striped pajama shorts and matching camisole before yanking a brush through my tangled hair.

  Bill groaned behind me. “I can’t fucking believe this,” he uttered, squatting to rummage in his suitcase.

  “Babe, it happens. Don’t worry. Lucy said it happened to Andrew a few weeks ago.”

  “What?” he exclaimed. “I did not need to know that.”

  “Um, don’t repeat that, seriously.”

  “What am I going to say, ‘Hey, dude, heard you can’t get it up either?’”

  “You’re fine. One time does not mean anything. Come on, get dressed.” When my hair was in a presentable state, I wrapped myself in the red robe Lucy had given us.

  Bill was close behind as I padded down the stairs. We found the group seated around the fire, surrounded by glasses of wine and bottles of beer.

  “Where have you two been?” Dani asked, arching an eyebrow in our direction. David sat barefoot and cross-legged on the floor next to her in a pajama set that looked small. He looked like a Greek statue, eerily still as he stared into the fire.

  “Just changing,” I said quickly, and Bill shot me a glance.

  “Liar,” Dani chimed. “We’ve been down here for twenty minutes already.”

  “I need a beer,” I muttered, leaving to the kitchen.

  “Bring a few,” Andrew called after me. I loaded up my arms and returned to the room to distribute drinks. I had one extra, so I offered it to David, who accepted it without looking up.

  “We were just telling Lucy that if she gets knocked up, she might have to move to the ‘burbs,” Gretchen said as I settled by Bill’s feet against the base of the couch.

  Lucy groaned and fell over onto Andrew’s lap. “You won’t make me do that, will you?”

  Andrew just burped into his fist and shrugged. “Everyone’s doing it.”

  “Truth,” Bill said, pa
tting my head. “Liv and I looked at a real fixer-upper in Oak Park on Friday.”

  David sputtered suddenly and coughed into his hand. Dani patted his back softly while he cleared his throat.

  “What’s it like?” Gretchen asked.

  I closed my eyes and envisioned the house. “It’s really . . . amazing.”

  “Well,” Bill chortled, “I’m not sure ‘amazing’ is the right word.”

  I opened my eyes, and the image evaporated. “It’s not, you’re right. It’s a mess, but it has this really charming aura that sort of encompasses you when you’re near it.”

  “That sounds nice,” Lucy said sleepily.

  “It’s not bad,” Bill said. “It needs a lot of work before it’ll be on par with the rest of the neighborhood, though.”

  “Honey,” I said quietly. “I don’t want it to look like the rest of the neighborhood. Those homes are so generic.”

  “Okay, okay. It’s a little early yet, babe.”

  “Anyway,” I said to the group, “we aren’t sure we can even afford to take on a project like that. That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

  Andrew was looking off into the distance, stroking Lucy’s hair when he perked up suddenly. “Have David look at it.”

  “What?” David and I asked in unison.

  “Isn’t this, like, your thing, dude?”

  “Well, uh,” he stammered.

  “What do you do, David?” Bill asked.

  “I’m an architect.”

  “But he flips houses too,” Andrew offered.

  “It’s not even really for sale,” I interjected. “The owners are just letting us see it.”

  “I remember now,” Bill said thoughtfully. “Andrew mentioned that before. It would mean a lot if you could check it out, give me an idea as to how much it would cost.”

  David cleared his throat again and looked down into his beer bottle.

  “Honey, David’s at the top of his field. He’s probably really busy.”

  “Dave, what do you say?” Andrew asked. “Help out a friend? Bill’s a lawyer. Maybe you can swap expertise.”

  “I have a lawyer,” he replied sternly as he obviously avoided my pleading stare. When everyone remained quiet, he swallowed loudly. “But sure,” he said. “Maybe.”

  “Cool.” Bill nudged me with his foot. “There you go, babe. We’re gettin’ things done.” I nodded downward and picked at the label on my bottle.

  “Do you still want to play that board game, Luce?” Gretchen asked.

  “Hmm?”

  Andrew put his finger over his lips and rolled his eyes. He mouthed, She’s sleeping.

  “So much for wedding night sex,” Dani said under her breath, and everyone laughed. I caught her lusty glance at David and inadvertently ripped the label from the bottle.

  “I’m tired too,” I said suddenly, getting up.

  “Oh, okay.” Bill went to stand.

  “No, honey, it’s fine. Have fun.” I waved at him to stay seated, and he fell back on the couch. “Goodnight everyone.”

  I rubbed the end of my nose and sniffed as I ascended the stairs. Shit. If they were going to sleep together, I definitely didn’t want it flaunted in my face. I had enough to deal with as it was.

  When Bill returned to the room, I feigned sleep. I smelled cigars on his breath as he climbed in and kissed me on the cheek. I gripped my pillow and willed away my insomnia.

  I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I finally got out of bed and went to sit in the bay window. Drawing my knees to my bare chest, I looked over at Bill in the faint moonlight. He snorted and flipped onto his back. I looked out the window at the backyard. It was still and peaceful, opposite from the bustling city I was used to. Even in that perfect stillness, I was having trouble sleeping.

  Who was I kidding? It wouldn’t have mattered where I was. David and Bill in the same house had my mind buzzing. David said he’d come to the wedding to see me. But why? Why make things harder than they already were? And he looked so handsome. He possessed every woman within proximity. Why did he have to be so damn irresistible? So exceptionally gorgeous in his urbane tuxedo?

  I scanned the lawn below. And why did he hold a permanent place in my thoughts?

  Bill coughed, and I looked back at him. “Come back to bed,” he mumbled.

  I nodded, but I didn’t move. When his breathing evened again, I stood and fumbled for my robe in the dark. I slipped into the hallway and ran a hand through my hair before tiptoeing downstairs.

  There was a soft, single light on in the kitchen. I hesitated. I looked back over my shoulder and then again at the doorway. My heart caught on quickly to what my brain already knew: in that kitchen I would find David.

  CHAPTER 7

  SOMETHING DARK FILLED the shallow glass in David’s hand. He looked up at me with hooded eyes as he leaned casually against the counter.

  I remained in the doorway a moment as we stared at each other. “Water,” I said finally.

  He straightened and grabbed a glass from behind his head. I entered the kitchen and went to take it from him, but he turned and opened the refrigerator.

  “Can’t sleep?” I asked while he retrieved a pitcher.

  “Not at all.”

  I glared at him while he filled my glass. When he’d finished, he handed it to me and set the pitcher on the island behind me. “What?” he asked.

  “Because of Dani?”

  “Oh . . . No. I just have a lot on my mind.” He resumed his stance against the counter opposite me.

  “So you didn’t . . . with her?”

  “I have my own room.”

  “Hm.” The water was cold and soothing as I sipped it.

  “What about you?”

  “I can’t sleep either.”

  “Why not?”

  I set the glass down and looked away. “I guess I have a lot on my mind.” I sighed. “I’m not really used to the peace and quiet.”

  “I know what you mean. I sleep better in the city.”

  I nodded and looked back at him. “That was nice of you to fly back early for the wedding. I’m sure it made Dani happy.”

  “Like I told you earlier – I didn’t do it for her.”

  I crossed my arms and played with the tie of my robe until the silence became awkward. “It’s been a while since we were, like, alone together,” I said softly. “I guess.”

  “Fifteen weeks.” He shrugged. “But who’s counting?”

  He looked too good for three in the morning, reclined against the counter. His dark hair was soft, no longer perfect, as though he’d showered since the ceremony. My fingers tingled with the urge to touch it. His t-shirt was tight over his broad shoulders, and he wore drawstring navy and green tartan pants. I struggled for something to say, not trusting my disobedient thoughts. “So you took a job out of town, I heard.”

  He nodded. “Yes. I’m here half the week to finish up the hotel and in New York through the weekends. I needed the distraction.”

  “From what?”

  He hesitated. “Life.”

  I waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, I said, “Sounds like you’ve been busy.”

  “You as well. Congratulations on your promotion.”

  “How did you know?”

  “I just know.”

  “I see.”

  “What I didn’t know is how much weight you’ve lost. It’s upsetting. It concerns me.”

  “Does it?”

  “Yes, of course. Your well-being is – I mean, it’s your health, Olivia.”

  I looked out the window over the sink. “Have you heard anything from Cooper about Mark Alvarez?” I asked.

  “The piece of shit knows he’s guilty for attacking you, so he took a plea bargain.”

  I widened my eyes. “Oh. Nobody told me.”

  During waking hours, I actively avoided thinking about the encounter, but as I slept, my mind refused to let it go. The memory that haunted my nightmares flashed before my ey
es: Mark chasing me into an empty alley, laughing as he pinned my front against a wall. He hissed in my ear that Bill would pay for what he’d done – prosecuting Mark’s brother in a trial that would land him behind bars for a decade. And then, relief when David had come to my rescue, detaining Mark until the police arrived.

  “We don’t have to testify,” David continued. “There won’t be a trial. Basically he won’t serve as much time, but he’s still going to prison for a while.”

  “So I don’t need to worry anymore?”

  He cocked his head. “Have you been worried?”

  “Yes,” I said softly.

  “Don’t. I’m looking out for you.”

  “How can you be? You’re not around.”

  He shifted against the counter. “I know. I meant you would have heard from me if I’d thought you were in danger.”

  “Oh.”

  “You know, the night in the alley, it was fortuitous that I was there. But the truth is, I had started driving by your office on my way home. I still do.”

  “David.” It was a warning. I felt more comforted by his confession than I should, as if him driving by each night would keep anything bad away. Little did he know that my demons were on the inside, where nobody could save me.

  He nodded and looked away. I picked up my glass and took a drink, waiting for his gaze to find me again. But it didn’t.

  “You’re looking for a house,” he said flatly. I wasn’t sure if he’d meant it as a question, so I just nodded. His laugh was empty as he shook his head at the floor.

  “And you’re dating Dani.”

  His chest rose with a deep inhalation. “Not exactly.”

  I pursed my lips. “She seems to think so.”

  “We’ve been out a few times at Lucy’s insistence,” he said, pulling at his chin.

  “You’re here together.”

  He looked at me again. “I was invited before I even met her.” I responded with a pointed look of skepticism, and his lips pressed together. “I suppose, in a sense, we are dating.”

  “Did it ever occur to you how that might make me feel?”

  “You don’t exactly get a say, honeybee.”

  My grip tightened around my glass. Honeybee. The hazy postcoital glow from our one night washed over me. “Don’t call me that.”