Misplaced Trust (Misjudged)

by Sarah Elizabeth

  “Saying the word beautiful and calling me Alexis.”

  I notice Neil swallow and his eyes narrow at what I just said, “You didn’t mention any of that before. When did this happen?”

  “By the lake, the first time I ever saw him. I suppose because so many things have happened recently, I’d put it to the back of my mind. He knew my car and everything. I think maybe I should give the cops a call and tell them,” I answer.

  “How about we find out who he is for ourselves first? Just to be certain. You don’t wanna be throwing around accusations against a guy you don’t know. The cops will think you’re grasping at anything and everything you can so that your boyfriend doesn’t get himself into any more trouble. You see what I mean?” Neil suggests and I think he’s most probably right. It doesn’t seem as though they’ll believe anything I say, unless it’s something that won’t go in Brandon’s favor.

  “Yeah … yeah I think you’re right,” I tell him.

  “Leave it me and Ryan, alright? Tell us as soon as you see him hanging around or if he starts asking any more questions,” he puts his hand out to me, so that I’ll shake on the promise. “Deal?”

  “Deal,” I agree. Knowing that Neil and Ryan have my back, I’m beginning to feel a little better about this whole situation already.

  ***

  It’s dark out as I make myself more comfortable in my usual spot on the steps. It must be close to ten thirty and there isn’t a sound. It’s so peaceful. Right now, I need that.

  I don’t want to doubt him, I really don’t, especially when he's not here to answer any of the hundreds of questions I need to ask. I’m really not sure what to think or how to feel about this whole situation.

  He made it known that he couldn’t and wouldn’t stop until he cleared his name, but to who’s expense? His? Mine? Does it really matter so long as he gets hold of the information and gains the results he’s been waiting for?

  He’s been beaten so badly before over this entire thing, so badly that he’s lucky he was found when he was, but, even that apparently wasn’t enough to stop him from pledging to find out who set him up. Find out who ruined his life. Find out why Holly was taken from him.

  After everything the cops said back at the dorm, and speaking with the other guys, I needed some time. I needed some space to try and think. Think about what mine and Brandon’s relationship was, and wonder what we could have been together, if only we were given more of a chance. If only I was given the chance to show him, prove to him that I can be, that I am the one who can make him happy.

  I asked him to stay, but he wouldn’t. I wanted him to talk to me and explain everything, but he refused and left, again.

  When he said he was sorry, when he asked me not to blame him for what’s happened and for what’s happening, was it because he knew I was about to find out about all of this? Would it be right to assume he knew all along, and that our relationship was in fact built on a lie?

  The sound of hurried footsteps drawing near makes me feel somewhat anxious, but it’s not likely whoever it is will know I’m here anyway. The moonlight is shimmering off of the water, and there’s some light from the nearest lamp shining by the wall, but where I’m sitting is in complete darkness.

  “Yes, I told you this already … No, I have no fucking idea … You should have taken my advice and let me handle this!”

  His words are snarled, but I can’t hear anyone else. He must be speaking into his cell phone.

  “They’re everywhere … No, she doesn’t but she will … Just … Yes, I know it’s hard, you tell me every day, but bro you need to let me deal with this … You should never have …”

  Harry.

  His voice, the way he’s talking, almost shouting. He sounds pissed … really pissed.

  “I’ll deal with the girl. Meet me in the usual place at midnight. I didn’t sign up for this type of heat, bro.”

  With that, the call ends. Whatever he’s up to, I don’t like the sound of it at all, and because of everything that’s happened, well I’m guessing I’m the girl he needs to take care of, whatever the hell that means.

  The usual place at midnight. I need to know what he’s doing and why. I want to know why he’s suddenly appeared from out of nowhere when things in my life are beginning to turn bat shit crazy. Surely his presence is more than just a coincidence? I’m damned sure he was the guy who broke into my father’s home, and he seems to know more about me than he really should.

  Watching as he paces back and forth beside the small wall that’s set back from the lake, I try to stay still. I don’t want him to see or hear me. I don’t want him to know that I’ve seen or heard him. Tonight, I’ll find out exactly why he’s here, and hope to get some of the answers I need in order to try and figure out what part he actually plays in all of this.

  His breathing isn’t as loud or heavy as it was when he first arrived, and he’s now leaning on the wall and looking out over the lake.

  Waiting until he leaves, heading in the same direction as he made his entrance, I check my cell and see that it’s just turned eleven.

  Now. Now is the time to follow him.

  I watch until he gets half way into the campus grounds before following him. Keeping up, but at a safe enough distance behind so he doesn’t see me, I dial Neil’s number. I need him to come with me, or at least tell him what I’m doing and keep him informed of everything.

  Damn. Damn. Damn. I knew I should have charged this stupid thing earlier. Inwardly cursing as I place my now useless cell phone in my jacket pocket, I glance between Harry, who is almost about to exit through the large iron gates, and my building to the left. I need to decide what to do.

  Do I go and get Neil, hoping we’ll be able to determine which way Harry headed, or do I follow him regardless and hope nothing bad happens at the end of it all?

  There’s no question about this. I need to know what the hell is going on, and soon.

  7.

  Friends

  Harry appears to be on high alert as he leads me down another block, to wherever the hell it is that he’s heading.

  I haven’t been following him for long, maybe around twenty minutes on foot, but his pace is beginning to pick up and the streets are sparse of both people, and traffic. I’m not sure if I’m surprised by this or not. I haven’t ever been in this area before, so I’m not overly sure what it’s usually like here, in daylight or at night.

  Every minute or so he’s been glancing all around him, making sure he’s not being followed. Luckily for me, I seem to be quite good at taking cover. A few times I’ve found myself having to either step inside an alleyway, or into someone’s courtyard to keep out from his view.

  My hearts beating fast, and my nerves are almost shot to pieces at what I’m doing. My mom would be having a serious breakdown if she could see me now. I know how dangerous the streets are late at night and so I should know better. She would ground me for sure, most probably for life, if she was still here.

  I need answers. That’s why I’m doing this. In the back of my mind, I’m wondering if Harry is the guy, or one of the guys who set Brandon up. Maybe I should turn back around and call the cops, tell them where to find him and what’s been going on, but then, I promised Neil and Ryan I wouldn’t and that we would figure this out together.

  Harry veers off to the left, and when I get to the place that I last saw him a few moments ago, I hear voices from the other end of a pathway. Walking down the narrow path and towards the voices, I’m being careful not to make even the tiniest of sounds. If he were to see me, it would blow this whole thing and I may never learn the truth.

  Closing my eyes for a split second and taking a deep breath, I step forward until I reach a tall gate, which is a little higher than I am. The voices are right on the other side, and I can only just about make out what they’re saying.

  “I said that you need to stay the hell away for a while.” Harry. That was Harry, I’d recognize his voice anywhere.

  �
��I tried to stay away, I did … but it’s not fucking easy, Zach!”

  What the fuck?

  The adrenaline in my body has just pumped up to its absolute maximum, and before I have a chance to think about my actions, I’ve already pushed open the gate and I’m standing on the other side, with two pairs of wide eyes staring directly at me. One of the sets being a sparkling blue pair for which I know only too well. I don’t know who’s more shocked, them, or me. I was not expecting this. At all.

  “Alexis?”

  His voice is full of surprise and his eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen them before. I’m guessing he wasn’t expecting to see me here either.

  My body begins to shake, but I’m not sure whether it’s from anger, or because I’d chosen to ignore the warning signs. I ignored the truth when it had previously been spoken, just so I wouldn’t be hurting, just so I wouldn’t be hurting the way I am right now.

  Standing forward and reaching out to me, the only reaction I can manage is to lift my hand up when he gets close enough and within my reach, and slap him hard across his left cheek. The sound of my hand connecting with his face, and from the way my hand is stinging, tells me it must have hurt him, even if just a little bit.

  He closes his eyes almost immediately and lifts his hand to his face, his mouth turning into a frown as he just stands there in silence. The other guy glances between the two of us, with his mouth hanging wide open.

  “You told me she was a feisty one bro but shit!” Harry, or Zach, whatever his freaking name is laughs out, only stopping when I land my narrowed gaze over on him.

  “Is it true?” I ask, my voice quiet, with my attention turning back to the first person my eyes landed on when I walked through here. I know I wanted the answers, but now I’m scared of what the truth might hold. What if everything was a lie? How would I even deal with that?

  “Is it true that my mom was working on your case?” I ask again, but this time my tone is more demanding.

  Tears are brimming in my eyes as I await his answer, and my hands are shaking uncontrollably as he turns to face me. When his eyes meet with mine, I see the sadness and what looks to be regret bleeding into them.

  Fuck.

  Shaking my head and not wanting to believe any of this, I take a step away from him. I can’t believe this is happening.

  I want to go back. I want to go back to Christmas. I want to go back eighteen months and change things. I want to be able to go back and change everything.

  “Alexis, please,” he steps towards me, and so I take another step back.

  I thought he loved me. I had never imagined he would use somebody, use me in this way, just to get what he wanted. He took my heart, and then he threw it away when he no longer needed it. When he no longer needed me.

  “Why? Why would you do this?” I whisper, “You let me fall in love with you.” I feel the bile rising in my throat when I think back to the other night, with visions flooding into my mind of Brandon and I, and what we did together.

  He fucked me. Neil was right.

  He fucked me … and I let him.

  “It’s not what it looks like,” he answers, cautiously taking a step forward, an overwhelming appearance of sorrow now present in his eyes, “I need to explain, please?” he sounds desperate.

  Trying to breathe when my chest feels this tight hurts. It hurts as much as the pain that’s stabbing right through my heart again, but this time it feels a whole lot worse than it did before. Shaking my head and not being able to think straight, I back away, and I keep backing away until I’m stepping into the alleyway.

  Brandon’s begins to follow me, watching me with a pained expression filling his features, “Alexis, I didn’t …” his voice trails as he closes his eyes, his head dropping low before he begins walking towards me with a little more urgency. “Beautiful, I swear I didn’t …”

  I can see his lips moving as he carefully and cautiously approaches me, but the loud pounding in my head, caused by my accelerating pulse rate, is stopping any other sounds from reaching my ears. My eyes are still on him as I keep stepping away, and I see Harry, Zach, whoever the fuck he is, placing his hand in front of Brandon, stopping him from getting any closer to me.

  It was a lie. It was all a lie.

  ***

  I have absolutely no idea what the time is as I walk through the main door and into the empty living area. Heading straight into the bathroom, I gaze at my reflection in the mirror, seeing a tear streaked mess with bulging red eyes staring back at me. I look hideous, but I feel a whole lot worse.

  He once told me that I was naive, and he was right. It was ridiculous of me to think that I was in any way special to him. He played me. Big time.

  The cops were right. He used me to get what he needed, although I still have no idea whatsoever what that something was. We discussed my mom, of course we did, but he never once asked any questions relating to either her career, or his case.

  He opened up to me about Holly, and I listened. I spoke about my mom, and he listened. We were there for each other, or at least I thought we were.

  Grabbing a tissue and wiping the remnants of mascara away from my cheeks, I try not to allow any more tears to flow, although I don’t think that it’s possible for me to cry again right now anyway. I’m exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

  Throwing the tissue into the trash by the corner, I head back through to the living area. Taking my usual spot by the couch, I go to switch off the table lamp before settling down for the night, and that’s when I hear Neil’s bedroom door swinging open.

  He only has to take one look at me before he’s by my side within a heartbeat, “What is it? Alex, what the fuck’s wrong?” he sounds anxious, lifting my chin with his hand so I’ll look at him. “Tell me!”

  It takes a while for me to even try and say the words out loud, and I find myself shaking my head at him, with tears rolling down my cheeks again, “They were right, Neil. They were right about him,” my voice is dry as I try to enlighten him on the events of the evening.

  “Who was right? Alex, you’re scaring me a little here,” his eyes search mine as he tries to read me. “Alex, please? Did someone hurt you?”

  Nodding and feeling my lips beginning to quiver, he pulls me closer, allowing me to take comfort in him, “He used me … You were right, Neil. Brandon never wanted me.”

  My sobs are hard and heavy from how badly Brandon has hurt me. It was agonizing enough when he left me, but this, this feels a whole lot more excruciating.

  I fell in love with someone who didn’t give a damn about me. My first love. My first ever lover. I feel like I need to hurl whenever I think about the reality of all of this.

  Rocking me side to side in his arms gently, and placing feather light kisses into my hair until my crying eases and my tears begin to dry up, he stays quiet, giving me time to try and get both my thoughts, and myself back under control.

  Pulling away, I take a few slow and deep breaths, although these are in no way helping me settle the sick feeling that’s taken over my entire lower abdomen, “I should let you sleep, Neil. I’m okay, or at least I will be.”

  Appearing to be deep in thought as he watches me grab the blanket from its usual place on the back of the couch, he places his hand on my arm, drawing my eyes back onto him.

  “Alex, come on,” he says quietly. Taking my hand, he pulls me onto my feet and leads me over towards his bedroom door. “You’re really going to make yourself sick if you carry on like this. If you won’t sleep in your bed, you can at least sleep in mine. You never know, you might wake up feeling a lot better about everything tomorrow.”

  Being unable to object, because I feel way too tired and weak to be talking or protesting, I follow him as he takes me in to his room, before he closes the door behind us.

  ***

  At some point during the night, I must have fallen asleep. The sunlight filling the room makes me immediately turn away, the light making my eyes squint a few times as the
y try to adjust to the brightness of the room.

  Both my head and my eyes feel heavy, but at least I didn’t wake up on that damned couch again. I look down and notice an arm firmly wrapped around my waist when I attempt to turn on to my side, and that’s when I see Neil lying beside me, evidently still sound asleep.

  Trying not to disturb him, I go to move, but hesitate when his grip becomes slightly tighter as he makes a small sound. Watching him for a moment, before glancing over my shoulder and over to the alarm clock, I see that it isn’t yet six o’clock, so lay myself back down.

  At times like this you need your friends, and I’m fortunate enough to have some for who I truly love, knowing they love me just as much in return.

  Once we came into his room, Neil threw a tee over at me and left the room, allowing me to change before we settled for the rest of the night.

  He told me to rest, and said that we would discuss everything that had happened after a good night’s sleep.

  A vibrating sound from over on the nightstand draws my attention, and when I glance over, I see it’s Neil’s cell phone. Do his friends never check the time before they call anyone?

  Neil stirs, and as I go to grab it before it disturbs him, it stops, with my eyes landing on something that’s sticking out from the top drawer. Sitting myself up and wiping my eyes, I see that it’s a photograph.

  Taking it in my hand and studying it, I see that it’s one of a girl. A blonde and extremely pretty woman, who looks roughly around the same age as us. Does Neil have a girlfriend? If he does then he kept it extremely quiet.

  This would most definitely explain all of his late nights and the secretive phone calls he’s been getting lately. A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, and when I go to sit up against the headboard, I hadn’t realized he’d woken up and is glaring right at me.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snaps, startling me some, before snatching the photograph from my hands. His jaw is tightly clenched and his eyes have become narrowed on me.