Pon-Pon

by Cronk, LN

  After I’d visited Gabby’s grave I walked over to where Mr. White and Greg were buried. I looked down at Mr. White’s grave before I moved to Greg’s and then I stood there for a long time.

  He’s not here . . .

  Finally I sat down.

  “Hi,” I said and I glanced around the cemetery to make sure I was alone. I looked back at Greg’s grave.

  “You wouldn’t believe how messed up everything is,” I told him. I shook my head and looked up at the sky. After a while I looked back down to his grave.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I finally said, my voice starting to break. “I don’t know what to do . . .”

  The tears started coming and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stop them. I put my elbows on my knees and buried my face into my hands and I cried and I cried.

  That’s why I hardly ever came here.

  ~ ~ ~

  I ASKED GOD to show me what to do. He didn’t tell me to go talk to Tanner. He didn’t tell me to go to the police. He just told me that I should pray for Tanner.

  Of course I’d been praying for Tanner all along, but perhaps not with as much fervor as I did now.

  I tried to be unselfish when I prayed, but what I really wanted to pray about was my relationship with Tanner. All I should have prayed about was Tanner’s relationship with God, and that’s what I tried to stick to, but it was really hard.

  In the meantime, Jordan and I managed to spend the next week completely avoiding each other. Of course I wasn’t about to walk over to his house and tell him that he was right – that it did indeed look as if Tanner might have killed their father. And when I didn’t come over, Jordan must have figured out that whatever news I had wasn’t good.

  Our ten year class reunion took place eight days after Tanner had slammed the door in my face. We’d sent in our money weeks ago and Laci was excited, but I dreaded going and sulked about it whenever I had the chance.

  “It’s going to be fun, David!” Laci insisted as we were getting ready to go.

  “No,” I said. “It’s not going to be fun.”

  “Don’t you want to go and see all of your friends?”

  “ALL OF MY FRIENDS?” I cried. “Are you kidding, Laci? I’m not going to have any friends there!”

  She looked at me doubtfully, but she didn’t make me remind her that Mike had graduated the year after us, Greg was dead, and Tanner hated my guts.

  “Brent’s going to be there . . .”

  “Oh, come on, Laci,” I said. “The only reason I even talk to Brent is because he’s married to Ashlyn. I don’t have one thing in common with him.”

  “But he’s nice . . .”

  “I never said he wasn’t nice.”

  “You know what, David?”

  “What?” I asked, not really wanting to know.

  “Every time you go to something like this you sit around and mope and don’t talk to anybody and you don’t even try to have meaningful conversations . . .”

  “How are you supposed to have a meaningful conversation with somebody that you haven’t seen in ten years? That’s why I hate stuff like this, Laci. You’ve got to go around giving obligatory hugs to everybody you see and making small talk all evening. I hate it.”

  “Maybe you can hug your old girlfriend!” Laci teased. “I’ll bet you could find something to talk with her about!”

  “Ughh,” I said. “I can’t think of anything more awkward than running into Sam tonight. Now I really don’t want to go.”

  “Well,” she said. “I’m looking forward to seeing everybody . . .”

  “Of course you are. You’re going to have Natalie and Ashlyn to visit with all evening.”

  “Even if Natalie and Ashlyn weren’t going to be there I’d still wanna go. Unlike you I know how to have meaningful conversations with people.”

  “Oh,” I said, waving my hand dismissively at her. “I know how to have meaningful conversations . . .”

  “I’ll bet you couldn’t have one meaningful conversation all evening . . .”

  “I could too . . .”

  “Not with somebody you wouldn’t normally talk to,” she challenged.

  “Oh, baloney. I could have meaningful conversations all night long.”

  “Prove it!” she said. “Come on. You wanna bet? Let’s make a bet! I’ll bet you can’t even talk to three people that you wouldn’t normally talk to.”

  She was just hoping to take my mind off my troubles.

  “Come on! What do you want if you win? Let’s hear it!”

  Poor Laci. She was trying so hard to cheer me up. I knew she was wanting me to raise an eyebrow at her and smile.

  You know what I want . . .

  But all I really wanted was for Jordan to forgive Charlotte. I wanted for Tanner to be my friend again and I wanted to not think that he might have killed his father.

  “I don’t want anything,” I finally said. “We can bet if you want to, but I don’t want anything if I win.”

  We arrived at the convention center and parked. We walked down the circular drive, around a big fountain, and toward the main doors where a man in a tuxedo held the door open for us. The convention center was huge with several ballrooms . . . our reunion wasn’t the only event being held there. A sign indicated there were two wedding receptions and a business convention going on as well. Our reunion was in the Fleetwood Ballroom at the end of the vast lobby.

  Outside the ballroom was a table to check-in at and seated behind it were our class officers.

  “Hannah!” Laci cried out to one of them. Hannah had been our class treasurer. She stood up and hugged Laci. It had started already.

  “Hi, David!” Hannah said, giving me an obligatory hug. She checked our names off on her list, handed each of us name tags, and grabbed two booklets from a pile in front of her.

  “Here you go,” she said. “Calen made these for everyone.” She pointed to the person sitting next to her. Calen had been our vice president.

  “Oh!” Laci said. “Calen!”

  More hugs . . .

  We went into the ballroom and started looking around. It didn’t take Laci long to spot Natalie, sitting at a table by herself. Laci ran to the table, but I followed along at a more leisurely pace.

  After still more hugs we sat down. The tables each seated eight people. I knew Ashlyn and Brent would get two of the seats, but the other three were up for grabs. I took a moment to feel sorry for myself one more time that none of my friends were going to be sitting there, and then I started looking at the booklet that Calen had made.

  She’d copied all of our senior pictures from our yearbook and put everybody’s contact information next to it so people wouldn’t have to spend all evening exchanging phone numbers. She’d also taken information from a questionnaire that had been mailed to us in the spring that told what everyone was doing for a living and how many kids they had and everything.

  Laci stopped talking to Natalie long enough to hit me on the shoulder.

  “David!”

  “What?” I asked, not looking up.

  “You’re not doing a very good job with our bet yet. Why don’t you get your nose out of that and visit with Natalie?”

  “Natalie doesn’t count,” I said, still not looking up. “I’m supposed to talk to people who I wouldn’t normally talk to . . . remember? Natalie’s my friend . . . she doesn’t count.”

  “So you’re going to sit there and ignore her?”

  “I’m not ignoring her,” I said, turning a page in the booklet. “I’ve heard every word she’s said.”

  “Liar.”

  I closed the booklet and looked at Laci.

  “Natalie’s moving home,” I said. “Her father isn’t doing too good with his Parkinson’s and she thinks her mom’s going to be needing a lot of help before too long. The medicine he’s on makes him hallucinate, and sometimes the hallucinations are worse than the disease. Last week he refused to go to bed because he was convinced that a bunch of nuns were
having a convention in the back yard and her mom was up until three in the morning with him.”

  I glanced at Natalie. “How’m I doing so far?”

  “Pretty good,” she smiled.

  “What were the nuns holding?” Laci challenged.

  “Golf clubs.”

  Laci sighed and I went on.

  “She hates the thought of leaving Denver because she’s grown so close to all the kids at her church that she really doesn’t want to leave them, but she knows that God’s got plans for her and she’s just going to be obedient and let Him be in charge. That’s about where she was when you started hitting me.”

  “You know,” Laci said. “You could be polite and visit with Natalie. You haven’t seen her in months . . .”

  I sighed heavily and put the booklet down. I propped my elbows on the table and rested my chin on my hands.

  “Hi, Natalie!” I said. “How’re you doing?”

  She laughed.

  “I’m great, David.”

  “Wonderful! I’m so glad to hear that. Say! I love your earrings! Where’d you get them?”

  “My mother . . .”

  “Oh! Interesting . . .” I said, nodding my head. “You know, I’ve been thinking about getting my ears pierced . . . does it hurt a lot?”

  She laughed again.

  “Forget it,” Laci said. “Sit there and be rude. See if I care.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Natalie assured her. “David’s been rude to me for years . . . I’m used to it.”

  “Like you don’t deserve it,” I muttered.

  “Oh, get over it already!” Natalie cried.

  “One thing!” I said, holding a finger toward her face. “I’ve only ever asked you for one thing!”

  I remembered we’d been in the fifth grade . . .

  Here, Natalie, I’d said, handing her the masterpiece I’d made in art class. Watch this for me. Don’t let anything happen to it. I’ll be right back . . .

  “First of all,” Natalie was saying, “it was one of the ugliest pieces of pottery I’ve ever seen in my life. Second of all . . . IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! How many times do I have to tell you that it was an accident?!”

  “I can’t talk about this anymore,” I told Laci. “It’s too upsetting. Can I please go back to my reading?”

  “Be my guest,” Laci said. “I give up.”

  I winked at Natalie and went back to the booklet. When I got to the last page I read what was at the top.

  “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”

  Underneath that, it said: “In loving memory . . .” and underneath that there were pictures. One of Greg and one of Mr. White, one of a history teacher of ours who’d died from a heart attack, and four of our classmates who had died since we’d graduated. One had been killed in an auto accident, two had died from cancer, and one had committed suicide.

  “I’ll be right back,” I told Laci.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to go and have meaningful conversation number one,” I told her and I went through the crowds and out toward the lobby. When I got there I walked up to the check-in table.

  “Hey, Calen?”

  “Yes?”

  “You got a second?”

  “Sure . . .” She handed a folder of paperwork to Hannah and stood up.

  “What can I do for you?” she asked after she’d come around the table.

  “I just wanted to thank you for putting this together,” I said, holding up the booklet.

  “Really?” She looked pleased.

  “Yeah. It was a really good idea . . .”

  “Well thanks for saying that,” she smiled.

  I turned it open to the back page and showed it to her.

  “Especially this,” I said. “I’m really glad you did this . . .”

  She looked at it, nodded, and smiled again.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “It’s not just because of Greg and Mr. White,” I said. “Anybody here that was friends with someone who died is going to really appreciate it – even if they don’t ever tell you that.”

  “Thanks.”

  “And I liked the Scripture too . . .”

  She smiled at me.

  “Well, I just wanted to thank you,” I said. “I didn’t mean to drag you away from your job.”

  “I’m glad you did,” she said. “We’re about ready to close-up anyway. I think everybody that’s coming is pretty much here already. Thanks again.” She turned to go.

  “Oh! Calen?”

  “Yeah?” she turned back toward me.

  “Has ummm . . . has Tanner shown up?”

  “No,” she said. “He sent in his money, but he hasn’t checked in yet.”

  “Oh.”

  “Take care.”

  “Bye.”

  I walked back into the ballroom which was pretty crowded by now. I spotted Laci and Natalie and could see that Ashlyn and Brent had arrived. I started winding my way back toward our table, but stopped and did a double take when I saw Nick. I couldn’t figure out why Nick would be at our reunion. We’d been in youth group together and on the swim team together, but he’d graduated a year ahead of me.

  “What’s up, Nick?” I asked, walking over to him. He was sitting next to some guy I didn’t recognize. “Did you get held back a grade or something and I just don’t remember?”

  “Hey, David!” he smiled, standing up and shaking my hand. “I married Angel. You remember Angel?”

  Angel? Samantha’s best friend, Angel?

  “Sure,” I said. “I remember Angel.”

  “And you remember Samantha?”

  Vaguely . . .

  “Of course I do . . .”

  He indicated the guy sitting next to him.

  “This is Sam’s husband . . . Mark.”

  “Hi, Mark,” I said, reaching out to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you too,” he said. He looked past me. “Here come the girls . . .”

  Of course . . .

  I turned around to see Sam and Angel striding toward the table.

  Sam’s eyes lit up when she saw me.

  “David!” she said, hugging me. “It’s so good to see you! How are you doing?”

  “I’m great . . . how are you?”

  “I’m good,” she smiled.

  “Hi, David,” Angel said as she gave me a hug too.

  “Nice to see you,” I said. “You look great . . . both of you look great.”

  They smiled at me and then Laci appeared at my side with a big grin on her face.

  Oh, brother . . .

  There was another round of greetings and then Laci looked at me with that huge grin still on her face.

  “David!” she said. “I just had a great idea! You and Sam should dance together!”

  I glared at her.

  “Go ahead!” she urged. “It’ll give me a chance to catch up with Nick!”

  I’m going to kill you, Laci. I’m absolutely going to kill you.

  She just blinked her eyes at me innocently and smiled. I was trapped with no options so I turned to Sam.

  “Would you like to dance?”

  “Sure,” she said and we went out onto the dance floor.

  “I’ll try to make this as painless as possible,” she said as she put her arms around my neck.

  “Huh?”

  “That look you shot her,” she said, nodding back toward Laci. “Obviously you’d rather be having your teeth pulled than to dance with me . . .”

  “Oh, no . . .” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sorry. That didn’t have anything to do with you . . .”

  She looked at me skeptically.

  “I promise,” I said, smiling at her. “I’m really glad to see you.”

  She smiled back.

  “As a matter of fact,” I said, “if your husband wasn’t over there I’d dance wi
th you for the rest of the night just to teach Laci a lesson.”

  “He’s a good sport,” she grinned.

  “How good?”

  “Pretty good . . .”

  She leaned up and whispered in my ear. “Pretend like I just said something really funny,” and then she threw her head back and laughed.

  I laughed too. Not just because I was trying get even with Laci, but because Sam was fun and I remembered that we’d always had a good time together.

  “Well?” she asked, since I was the one facing Laci and I was the one who knew her well enough to be able to tell if we’d gotten to her at all.

  We had.

  “It’s a start,” I said, grinning. “Thanks.”

  “Anytime . . . glad to help.”

  The song was already ending.

  “You want to keep dancing?” she asked.

  “Sure,” I nodded, glancing toward Laci again. “That’d be good . . .”

  “So do you have any kids?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, reaching for my wallet. I flipped it open to a picture of Dorito holding Lily. “This is Dorito and Lily.”

  We stopped dancing so she could look at the picture.

  “You’ve adopted!” she said.

  “You don’t miss a trick, do you?” I teased as I put my wallet away.

  “Did you say . . . Dorito?”

  “It’s a nickname,” I explained as we started dancing again.

  “What made you guys decide to adopt?”

  “We had a baby, Gabby, but she was stillborn, and then Laci had three miscarriages and now she can’t have children . . .”

  “Oh!” she said, looking dismayed. “I’m so sorry to hear that you two went through all that . . .”

  I nodded at her.

  “But Lily and,” she cleared her throat, “. . . Dorito look like really great kids.”

  “Thanks,” I smiled. “They are. What about you? Do you have any kids?”

  She broke into a huge smile.

  “We’re expecting our first,” she said. “We just found out last week!”

  “That’s great! Congratulations!” Then I hesitated. “Oh . . . I’m sorry . . .”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t guess you really want to be hearing about stillborns and miscarriages and stuff right now . . .”