Thank You For Loving Me (Canyon Creek, Co. Book 3)

by Lori Ryan

  Max felt a spike of jealousy claw up his back. The idea of Devlin with Shawn was ridiculous.

  “You could always travel with her,” Grant said.

  Max shook his head. “I’m not sure I want to travel anymore.”

  Grant’s eyes went wide with surprise. “You actually want to stay in Canyon Creek?”

  “I don’t know.” Max drew a hand through his hair. “It’s definitely an option. It’s not so bad, not like when we were kids. I really liked building the barn, and I’m good at it. It’s nice to be good at something other than football. And I know Ma could use the help. Plus Warner and I have talked about the football camp thing.”

  “What about the University of Colorado?” Aaron asked.

  Max drew in a deep breath and released a heavy sigh, not even sure he could say the words out loud. His life had centered around football since the age of seven. Existing off the football field was scary, but exciting too, filled with possibilities. He never would have realized that if he hadn’t come home to Canyon Creek.

  “I like being around family,” Max declared. “And honestly, I’d like to try something other than football.”

  Grant stepped back as if trying to avoid the bite of a rattlesnake. “Holy hell, Max Sumner wants to walk away from football completely? I never thought I’d see the day.”

  “You walked away from the movie industry for a while.” Max shouldn’t have gone there, but he didn’t want anyone digging into his reasons for leaving the game. No one needed to know how bad things had gotten there at the end.

  Besides, he had a feeling being anywhere close to the world he’d inhabited when he was in the NFL might be too much for him to handle right now. He needed to get away from old habits, old triggers.

  Grant’s face fell. “Not by choice.”

  Max knew the truth and felt like a heel for saying anything. Grant had practically lost everything, and it still remained to be seen if that toll would include his wife. Although Grant’s outbursts and fist fights after the implosion hadn’t helped matters any, a lot of it had been the industry and the tabloids that set everything in motion.

  Shawn looked at Grant. “Maybe you should come back to Canyon Creek, too. It could do you good to get away from those plastics in Hollywood.”

  “I’m actually not in California as much anymore. I took a gig directing an indie film on location in Utah. I really like it.” Grant gave a little tilt of his head like it was no big deal, but Max knew it was. Grant had been floundering before he tried sitting in the director’s chair. “I’m starring in the movie too so it’s challenging, wearing both hats, but I like it. I think I’m good at it.”

  “I’m sure you are,” Max said, meaning it.

  “Hey,” Shawn said, “you know they’re trying to bring more tourists to Canyon Creek. Maybe you could premiere your film here.”

  Grant looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Indie films are always released at festivals, and the producers are hoping to bring this one to Toronto if we can. I can talk to them, though. If I can get enough interest from other directors and producers who could commit to premiering at a film festival in Canyon Creek, I might be able to swing it and bring our film here.”

  “What’s the movie about?” Max asked.

  Grant shook his head as if embarrassed. “It’s about a kid from a small town who makes it big in Hollywood then loses it all.”

  Aaron’s brows rose. “That sounds like a documentary of the life and times of Grant Sumner.”

  Grant laughed. “It’s not about me, but I did help some with the screen play. That was fun, too. I have a knack for it I think.”

  “Great, another writer.” Max rolled his eyes.

  “Well, it sounds amazing,” Shawn said. “I can’t wait to see it. If the film festival thing works out, that would be a big help to the town. We need more tourists.”

  “Ma needs the business,” Max continued, “and I hate to admit it but your ugly mug would definitely bring in the tourists.”

  “I’ll think about it,” Grant said. “In the meantime, what can I do to help?”

  Shawn pulled a hammer from his tool belt. “We need to finish the flooring. Max can show you guys what to do. I need to check and see if Ben needs help keeping his tornado of a fiancée out of the barn.”

  All three brothers burst into laughter.

  “Yeah, Maggie’s hell on wheels,” Shawn said. “But she’s perfect for Ben.”

  She was. And Elle was perfect for Emmett. Could Devlin be perfect for Max?

  He shook off the thought and led Grant and Aaron over to a pile of plywood. “We just need to nail in a few more pieces and then we can sand and varnish.”

  Grant nodded.

  “You okay, man?” Aaron asked Grant.

  Grant glanced up, a rare look of insecurity in his hazel green eyes. “Yeah, it’s just hard being around all this.”

  The shift from talking about the movie to talking about Grant’s wife stopped Max. Through all this lovey-dovey wedding shit, Grant was separated from his wife and going through a nasty divorce.

  Max should have said something sooner to let Grant know they were here for him.

  He tried now. “I’m sure it’s hard, man.” He sounded like an idiot, but he didn’t know what else to say. “Well, it’s nice to have you home.”

  Grant smiled, looking like he was willing to forgive Max for being a Neanderthal with no idea how to comfort someone. “It’s good to be home.”

  Max smiled. It was good to be home with all his brothers again.

  Ben climbed up the stairs two at a time, his breathing labored, Shawn behind. “Damn, that was a close one,” he said.

  “You stopped her?” Aaron asked.

  “Yeah, I told her we were laying one more coat of varnish and she couldn’t walk anywhere and the fumes were bad.”

  “And she bought your lame bullshit?” Max asked.

  Ben scowled. “It wasn’t lame.”

  “He’s not getting any.” Grant chuckled, waggling his brows. “Makes a grown man angry.”

  Max had to agree. He hadn’t been with Devlin since the day she arrived and he was quite angry.

  “This is bullshit,” Ben said. “She’s my fiancée. Why the hell can’t I be with her before the wedding?”

  “She’s actually kicked you out of the bedroom?” Aaron asked.

  “Worse,” Max answered. “She kicked him out of the entire house. Brought in her girlfriends.”

  Grant laughed. “Well, you could always break into her house, crash the slumber party.”

  “Crash her party again?” Max raised a brow in warning. “No way, not good.”

  An evil smirk spread across Ben’s face as he looked at Max. “Why shouldn’t we? Crashing her bachelorette party worked out pretty good for both of us, didn’t it?”

  It did, Max had to admit, if only to himself.

  “You in?” Ben asked Max.

  Max paused, but only for the minute it took to imagine Devlin spread out naked on his bed. “Yeah, I’m in.”

  Aaron snorted. “Yeah, this is gonna end well.”

  “Hey,” Ben said, turning to Shawn. “Lily will be there, too.”

  Shawn shook his head. “No thanks. I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”

  Ben squeezed Shawn’s shoulder. “I’m sorry about that man.”

  “What about you, Grant? Back us up?”

  “Hell no, your fiancée is a hell cat. I like having my eyes.”

  “Aaron?” Ben asked.

  “Is Kayleigh going to be there?” he asked.

  “Talk about a hell cat.” Max laughed.

  Ben shrugged. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

  Max watched as Aaron’s eyes searched the circle of men as if asking for advice.

  “I think as long as you keep your mouth shut and don’t insult her again, you’ll be fine.”

  “I didn’t mean to insult her,” Aaron said. “She’s too sensitive.”

  Grant laughed. “Tr
y telling her that. Should go over well. Then we can watch her kick your ass from here to Denver.”

  “She totally could,” Shawn said.

  The men laughed.

  “Okay, I’m in,” Aaron said, still a little apprehensive.

  “We better get back to it if you want to show your fiancée this balcony before the wedding,” Shawn said gesturing to the planks that still needed to be sanded and stained.

  Grant scratched his head and gripped the hammer. “Such a weird wedding present, man.”

  “Boys do weird shit when they’re in love,” Max said.

  “It’s actually perfect for Maggie,” Shawn added.

  Grant walked toward the pile of plywood. “How so?”

  “She’s supported your mom for a long time now,” Shawn said. “It’s kind of symbolic.”

  The brothers were all silent, knowing Maggie had been there for their mom at times they hadn’t.

  “Well, let’s get this balcony finished,” Ben said, helping Grant with a piece of wood. “We have another party to crash.”

  Max couldn’t help but smile…and maybe whistle a little too.

  Chapter Twenty

  Devlin plopped down on Maggie’s couch. She was dog tired, and scared shitless. She’d be a horrible mother, and this poor baby wasn’t going to have an active father to fall back on. There was no way Max wanted a family. Not with his record with women.

  “Do you guys want frozen margaritas or daiquiris?” Maggie called from the kitchen.

  “Ooo,” Kayleigh hummed, “I vote for margaritas. Strawberry margaritas. I haven’t had one of those in a while.”

  Devlin almost asked for tequila straight up before remembering her current state.

  Maggie came out from the kitchen, catching herself on the corner of the wall and skidding to a stop. “Oh, Dev, I forgot. I’m sorry. I have herbal tea or hot chocolate. Or milk. Pregnant women need calcium, don’t they?”

  Devlin’s head fell back with a weary sigh. “Great. This is my life now.”

  “Not forever,” Maggie said. “Just like, nine months.”

  “More if she breastfeeds,” Kayleigh put in helpfully.

  “Oh, yeah, I forgot,” Maggie said. “Are you going to do that?”

  “Do what?” Devlin asked, only half hearing the conversation. Her mind was fuzzy and she had a difficult time focusing on anything.

  “Breastfeed,” Maggie repeated.

  Breastfeed? Good, God, that sounded horrible. She should be getting all mushy and soft and mommy feeling at the idea, and instead, all she could think about was how much that might hurt. A kid latched on to your nipple, especially now that they were so sensitive. Thank you, but no.

  “Are you going to keep it?” Kayleigh asked.

  “Keep what?”

  “The baby,” she said quietly

  “Yeah.” Devlin sunk further into the couch and pinched the bridge of her nose, fighting off the headache threatening. “I mean, yeah,” she said again, not really knowing what to say to the question.

  As much as she knew she’d screw this up six ways from Sunday, she hadn’t thought she could give the baby up. That just wasn’t an option for her. She couldn’t really say why. It was just part of the mass of jumbling emotions and fears.

  Somewhere under all the mess and muck that was her current state, she knew she would keep this baby and do her best by it. Even if that best fell far short of what it should be.

  She turned her head and stared at Kayleigh, surprised how close they’d become in just a few days.

  “Yes,” Devlin said, “I’m keeping the baby. Beyond that, I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do. I’m going to be a horrible mother. I don’t even want to breastfeed. I’ll screw this kid up so much.”

  Maggie plopped down next to her. “That’s what therapists are for.”

  “I’m serious, Maggie.” Devlin sighed. “I have no frame of reference here. My mom was good but…”

  “I didn’t have any mother,” Maggie said, pushing a stray piece of hair from Devlin’s face. “It doesn’t mean I won’t be a great one though.”

  “Yeah, well you have June Cleaver here to show you everything.”

  “Who?” Kayleigh asked.

  “June Cleaver, the perfect mother,” Devlin repeated. “Leave It to Beaver, the television show?”

  “No clue.” Kayleigh shook her head.

  “Valerie,” Devlin and Maggie answered in unison.

  Maggie turned to Devlin. “Yes, I have Valerie and Sally and a host of other people who will want to help. But I think instincts will kick in at some point, don’t you?”

  “I hope so,” Devlin said. “Otherwise, me and this kid are both screwed.”

  “Well, you have to tell Max,” Maggie said. “Soon.”

  “Why?” Devlin asked.

  Maggie narrowed her eyes. “Are you serious, Devlin Darby?”

  She shrugged.

  “Of course she’s going to tell him,” Kayleigh said with confidence.

  Devlin turned to see Kayleigh sprawled on the arm of Maggie’s couch, her long blonde hair hanging down her shoulders.

  “Unless you plan to run first,” Kayleigh said. “Are you running from something?”

  “Why would you ask that?”

  Kayleigh shrugged.

  Devlin’s head snapped to Maggie. “What did you tell her?”

  “Devlin, you know I love you to pieces.” Maggie played with Devlin’s hair. “You’re one of my best friends in the world.”

  Devlin braced herself. This wasn’t going to be good.

  Maggie scooted closer, gently laying her hand on Devlin’s leg. “You’re running from your past, sweetie. You’ve always been running.”

  “What the hell are you talking about? I travel for my job. That’s it.”

  “I know you love to travel and you have to sometimes for work. I get it,” Maggie said. “But you’ve been globe-trotting for ten years. You haven’t committed to anything else longer than a month or two at best, and the truth is, you could take jobs that don’t require travel. You could have settled in and worked locally in New York after paying your dues. Hell, you could write your ticket now with your reputation. If you haven’t done it, it means you haven’t wanted to.”

  “I’ve had an apartment in New York for several years.”

  Maggie raised a brow. “What’s the longest you’ve stayed in your apartment at one time?”

  Devlin thought about it.

  “You sublet it half the year,” Maggie said.

  “That’s just smart money sense.”

  Maggie shook her head. “It was for the first five years you did it. Now, it’s an excuse.”

  “I’m an adventurer,” Devlin said.

  Maggie rolled her eyes.

  Devlin felt her patience fading and her defenses rising but she clamped down on the urge to snap at Maggie. Or cry. She could go either way at this point, and she hated being that weepy.

  “Don’t get upset.” Maggie squeezed Devlin’s leg.

  “How am I not supposed to get upset? You’re basically telling me I’m terrified of life and hiding from it. Would you take that kind of criticism well?”

  Maggie drew in a deep breath and Devlin’s heart raced. “I think you’re running because you’re afraid of becoming your mom. Of ending up in a marriage like your parents’ where you rely on a man because you’re weak and afraid. And now that you’re pregnant you’re really freaked out, because you’re actually going to be a mom and you don’t want to rely on anyone.”

  Devlin sank back into the couch. It was true. Her worst fear was becoming as weak and trapped as her mother was. She’d just thought she’d been exploring the world before, but it turned out she was afraid and running from her past.

  “Do you like him?” Kayleigh asked.

  “Max?” Devlin said.

  “Yes, your baby daddy.” Maggie laughed.

  Did she like Max? She liked being with Max—given her current condition, s
he obviously liked it a little too much. But was “like” enough?

  “I think you feel like if you stop and just be, that you’ll be invested,” Maggie continued. “And if you become invested in something, in someone, they could hurt you. So, you run first.”

  “It’s a very valid fear, Maggie,” Kayleigh said.

  Devlin glanced up at Kayleigh.

  Kayleigh studied her. “What happened with your parents?”

  Devlin squirmed, having no desire to talk about her family life. Maybe Maggie was right, though. Maybe she needed to get past this, and wasn’t talking about it the first step in moving on?

  “Let’s just say my father didn’t take his marriage vows as seriously as my mother did, especially the ‘forsaking all others’ part.”

  Kayleigh sat up straighter, her eyes widening and Devlin thought she saw a glint of old hurts in her eyes. Maybe Kayleigh knew how it felt to have someone cheat on her.

  “Look, even if you don’t want to stay with Max,” Maggie said, “you’ll need to settle down somewhere for the baby.”

  “There are plenty of kids who travel around the world with their parents. Hell, I did it every time my dad changed posts.”

  “True,” Maggie said.

  Devlin squirmed in her seat. “If I really want to settle down I could do it in New York.”

  “You could,” Maggie said. Devlin could hear the disappointment in her friend’s voice.

  She gaped at Maggie. “What, you think I’m going to move back to Canyon Creek and raise this baby?”

  “Max is here.” Maggie pointed out.

  “But he’s not staying here, Maggie. Didn’t you hear them at dinner? He’s looking at a job at the University of Colorado in Boulder. That’s like four hours away. And what the hell would I do here?”

  “There’s lots of stuff to photograph here. Maybe Canyon Creek could be your home base. You’d have help with the baby, and you could photograph Colorado landscapes and,” Maggie shrugged, “I don’t know, stuff. Colorado stuff.”

  A loud knock sounded at the door and Devlin gave a silent prayer of thanks for the interruption. She couldn’t talk about this right now, about her phobia of commitment. She needed to figure things out on her own first. Then she needed to talk to Max. Because as much as she was pretending she didn’t have to tell him, deep down, she knew she did. She just needed to get up the courage to do it.