by Wendy Smith
“I’ll pay the bill and get you home. If this is your only night off, I’m sure you’ll want to get an early night. Although, I’m hoping that sorting things out between us means you won’t have to work nights.”
I smile. “Me too. I like the idea of being able to tuck Kaia in.”
“That’s something you should have always been able to do.”
He heads to the bar, and I watch him pay Craig.
“So, that’s the ex?” Katie nudges my arm.
My mouth falls open. “Where did you come from? I didn’t know you were working tonight.”
She shrugs. “I’m not, but I’ve been in the kitchen with Eric. I cooked your steak.”
“Well, look at you.” I grin. “And yes, that’s Kaia’s dad.”
“You never said he was so hot. All dark hair and dimples. With genes like you two, no wonder Kaia’s such a cutie.”
I laugh.
“Are you guys getting back together?”
I shrug. “He wants to spend time with Kaia. Me too, but I think his focus will be on her. We can’t go back in time, but maybe he can be there for her from now on.”
“That’s still awesome. Just make sure he pays for being a douche.” She grips my arm. “I’ll let you go. Talk to you tomorrow night.”
I nod, taking a deep breath as Cole walks toward me. It’s hard to change the habit of a lifetime, and my body reacts as it always did when he was around.
“Ready to go?”
This is so confusing. I need to process what he’s told me, and no doubt he’s going to do the same. Where to from here?
An uncomfortable silence settles over us as we walk home, and we’re nearly back to my apartment before he speaks. “I’m sorry for everything. I thought after we were married, Dad’s attitude had changed.”
I shrug. “You left, and your dad was there the next day. I was hurt and angry, and he made it clear that you were gone for good.”
“He didn’t speak for me.”
“I was nineteen and alone. I had no idea what was what.”
Cole squeezes my hand tight. “He’s run interference between us for long enough. At least now we’re together, and we know the truth.”
I don’t say anything. I can’t. My thoughts about Cole have been manipulated by a man who never liked me. And I don’t even know why.
I’m uncertain how I feel when we reach my door.
“Thank you for tonight. If you choose to take the money and not want me anywhere near Kaia, I’ll respect that.”
The butterflies in my stomach start again. I don’t know if he’s playing games or if he’s sincere, but from the open expression on his face, I think he means it. Can I open my life to Cole again? And maybe my heart?
“I’ll think about it. It’s a lot to take in.”
He nods. “I’ve thought about you a lot the past few years. Wondered where you were, and what our daughter was like. I was always torn between inserting myself in your life and letting you get on with it. It wasn’t until I saw you two together that I knew I had to do something.” Cole bends and plants a kiss on my cheek. “Give me a call. Or I’ll give you one. I’ll need to get your account details to start payments. I guess we need to work out how much you need.”
My heart sinks as he walks away.
Ugh. I’m so stupid.
Of course it boils down to money. With Cole’s family, it always does.
I take a deep breath and open the door to my apartment.
Rosalyn looks up and smiles. “Have a nice night?”
I shrug. “It was okay.”
“He seems nice.”
I lick my lips. “He’s Kaia’s father.”
Her mouth forms an O. “I did wonder. Kaia’s a real mix of you both.”
“He’s going to backpay me all the child support he owes, and then pay me on a regular basis.”
She grins. “Oh, Brooke, that’s wonderful.”
I sit on the couch beside her. “It’s amazing. Maybe I can give up working nights.”
She nods. “Whatever happens, you know I can take Kaia whenever you need me to.”
“I know. Thank you for everything. I’m not sure if I say that often enough.”
Rosalyn smiles. “You don’t need to. Seeing you and Kaia happy and healthy is more than enough for me.”
Tears well in my eyes, and she pulls me into her arms.
“You’re more like a mother to me than my own mother was,” I whisper.
“Everybody needs somebody. I also approve of the way you’re making him work for it.”
I give her a confused look. “What do you mean?”
“Not letting him in to stay the night.”
“He didn’t ask.”
She rolls her eyes. “Then he’s an idiot.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “Make up your mind.”
“Whatever you decide, I hope you and Kaia get what you need.”
I just wish I knew what that was.
8
Cole
I can’t stop thinking about Brooke. How was I so blind?
It makes my stomach ache to think about how badly I treated her. We were young, and I had such big ideas. I never thought about how she might have big ideas too.
And now she works two jobs just to keep their heads above water.
The memory of that asshole putting his hands on her is on rotation in my head. Just the thought that every time she goes to work, she has to put up with him or others like him makes my blood boil.
This is all my fault.
And Kaia. That sweet little girl looked me in the eyes, and I saw myself in her. How could Dad think she was anyone else’s but mine?
I last two days before going to see Brooke. It’s just before midnight when I reach her work. She’s standing by the bar dressed in a tank top and the shortest pair of denim shorts I’ve ever seen.
Her eyes widen as I approach. “Cole. What are you doing here?”
“I came to walk you home.”
She sucks in her bottom lip. “It’s two blocks. I’m fine.”
“Maybe, but I wanted to see you.”
The brunette next to her grabs Brooke’s arm. “Are you going to introduce us?”
Brooke laughs. “Cole, this is Katie. Katie, this is Cole.”
“Very nice to meet you, Cole.” She beams.
“Good to meet you too.”
Brooke walks toward me. “I’ll be a couple of minutes.”
I nod. “I’ll be waiting.”
She gives me a warm smile, and disappears into the kitchen. When she emerges, she’s still smiling. That has to be a good sign.
I take her hand, and she doesn’t protest.
After waving goodbye we head out the door and cross the street, walking toward her place. I’ve been waiting to see her, but I’m tongue-tied. What the hell do I say to her now?
We get halfway back to her place when she comes to a halt.
“This is a bit random.” She cocks her head, her lips twitching.
“What’s random is us stopping in the middle of the block.”
She shrugs. “No one else is around.”
I grab her hand. “Let’s get you home, and then we can talk.”
Laughing, she walks along beside me. It keeps hitting me just how right being with her feels, and tonight’s no exception.
“I’m surprised you don’t bike to work.” I grin.
She laughs. “Why would I? It’s not that far.”
“You went everywhere on that bike of yours when we were kids. I guess I was a bit slow to work out why you came over to my place so often.”
She slaps my arm. “A bit slow? You had no clue. And can we stop talking about this? It’s embarrassing.”
“Why? I wish I’d worked it out earlier.” I shoot a glance at her and find that she’s looking at me. Her eyes shine with amusement. My heart skips a beat. I think I understand the way she felt more than ever before. I feel it too now.
“I’m not sure if it
would have made a difference. We were so young.”
“We’re not really that much older now.”
Brooke shakes her head. “No, but I think we both have a lot more life experience.”
“I only wish I could have got that life experience with you.” I link my fingers in hers.
She says nothing for a few moments, and I glance at her again. Have I pushed it too far?
“I don’t know what to make of you, Cole Masters,” she finally says.
“To be honest, I’m not quite sure what to make of myself. Seeing you again shook me up.”
She nods. “I bet. Last time you saw Kaia—”
“Not just Kaia. You.” I lick my lips. Here goes nothing. “I think we should give it another go.”
Brooke stares at me. “What are you talking about?”
“You and me. Let’s do it properly this time. The truth is that I can’t stop thinking about you. And not just because of Kaia.”
She swallows, and gives me a short, sharp nod. “I’ll admit I’ve been the same. Seeing you again has been weird. I thought you were out of our lives for good. But you’ve done nothing but try and make things up to me. To us.”
“Brooke, I—”
“I don’t know if I can forgive you though, Cole. When we were married, I knew you didn’t love me. Not in the way married people should love each other. But I loved you.” Her eyes glisten with tears. “And you ripped my heart out when you left.”
“I know that now.” I stop walking and take her hands in mine. “Looking back, I understand a lot that I didn’t when we were married. I’m sorry I was so blind to the depth of your feelings.”
“So many years. I loved you my whole life.”
“I know. Well, I know now.” I sigh. “I took you for granted. And I don’t know what the future will bring, but I want to try.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to be hurt again.”
“There’s one thing I can promise.”
“What’s that?”
“I promise that I’ll always be here for you and for Kaia.”
She sucks in her bottom lip. “How can I believe you?”
“I’m not the man I was four years ago. I spent three years studying hard, and the past year working to build myself a life. Now I can see the future we should have had.”
“It’s a lot of talk, Cole. I don’t know if I can trust you with my heart again.”
My heart aches, but I understand where she’s coming from. “We can take it as slow as you want. Please give me another chance.”
For a few moments we stand there, just looking at each other.
“I need to think about it,” she finally says.
I nod. “Please.”
“If I let you in, Cole, there won’t be a third chance.”
“I understand.”
9
Brooke
I don’t know what to do.
For four years, I had this idea in my head that if Cole ever showed up I’d tell him to leave. It’d be easy. He left us.
But it’s more complicated than that.
Now he wants a chance at something we never had. There’s a different kind of connection between us that didn’t exist before. An attraction that’s flirty and fun and everything I always wanted.
We had a love based on friendship, but now there’s the potential for so much more.
Or is there?
“Brooke?”
I look up to see Jenny, my boss at my day job, nodding at the phone. Shaking myself out of my thoughts, it takes me a second to register that the phone is ringing. I answer and transfer the call through to one of the other partners.
“Do the daydreaming in your own time, okay?” Her lips are a straight line. There’s no humor in this place.
There’s a gulf between this and my other job. At least there I have Katie, Eric, and Craig. It’s just a bitch that working at the bar leaves me so tired and doesn’t pay enough to be my only position.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t do it again.”
I watch as she goes back to her office, and my mind returns to Cole. Not just because he wants to get back together, but because he’s promised to make good on all the child support. What I wouldn’t give to tell Jenny to shove it.
My mobile buzzes.
Check your bank account.
I raise an eyebrow at Cole’s text, but I open a new tab in my browser and load up my bank website.
I stare at the screen.
I’m sorry it’s not all of it. I’ve got to pull some from an investment and that’ll take a while. But it’s most of it.
It’s thousands. My account’s never had so much money in it.
I wanted to wipe the slate clean so we could start from scratch. There is no obligation. I’ve set up a weekly payment too.
Thank you.
It’s what you should have always had. Talk to you later xx
I’d never stopped to think about how much he owed me. This is life-changing for Kaia and me.
My eyes prick with tears, but this isn’t a place where I can cry, even in gratitude.
Cole’s kept one of his promises, which means more than I can ever say.
Can I trust him to keep the rest?
Kaia squeals as I scoop her into my arms and spin.
“Mommy.” She giggles, and I squeeze her.
“Ready to go home?”
She nods.
“How about we stop and get a pizza on the way?”
Her eyes widen. “Can we?”
“Today we can.”
I plant a kiss on her cheek, and drop her to the ground. “Today’s a special day.”
“Is it my birthday?”
I laugh. “Not yet, sweet girl.” The thought of her turning five causes a squeezing in my chest. Not only because she’s growing up, but because I have no idea how to deal with school starting later than day care, and what to do for the gap between school finishing and the end of my workday.
I get emotional enough thinking about her starting school.
You’re not alone anymore.
It’s so tempting to take a break from everything now I have that money in my account, but I know I can’t do that. I have to keep going, even though Cole keeps telling me he wants us to be together again.
Once broken, trust is a hard thing to come by again.
We get off the bus one stop early to pick up a pizza. It doesn’t add that much more of a walk, but Kaia’s dragging her legs by the time we get to the building.
“When can we eat?” she asks.
I laugh. “We just have to get inside. We’ll eat it straight out the box.”
She runs from the elevator to our door, hammering on it with her little fists.
“Kaia, settle down.” I grin. It’s so good to see her excited.
She jumps up and down when I place the pizza box on the table. Walking home, it’s cooled, and I’m glad for that as Kaia grabs a slice and bites straight into it.
She eats the slice of pizza, her eyes rolling as if she’s crazy.
I laugh. “Is that good?”
Kaia nods. “We never have pizza.”
“Well, I thought we could do with a treat tonight.” Because your daddy kept his promise.
“Can we have it every night?”
I shake my head. “I think we’d get very sick of it if we had it every night.”
Kaia sits up straight. “I love pizza.”
“I know you do.” I reach out and stroke her hair. My beautiful girl.
Our time together is so short, and I sigh when there’s a knock on the door. “That’ll be Rosalyn. I’ve got to go to work.”
Kaia’s usually so good, but tonight, she pouts. “Can you stay home?”
I shake my head. “No, baby. Mommy has to work.” Squatting, I let her wrap her little arms around my neck. “Love you.”
She buries her head in my shoulder.
“You did something a little different tonight. She’ll be fine. G
ive her five minutes with me.” Rosalyn nods toward the pizza box on the table.
For the first time in a long time, I leave the house and Kaia’s crying. Not just crying, but loud, heartfelt sobs that rip my heart apart.
In a few moments, this goes from being a good day to being one of the worst. I love Kaia, and I’d do anything to have more time with her. But the reality has always been that I’ve had to work to keep a roof over our heads.
It’s like coming back to earth with a huge bump.
My mind’s on her the whole time I’m at the bar. Katie picks up on me being distracted and covers for me as much as she can. She guesses it’s to do with Cole, but I don’t go into detail. I can’t. I’m still getting my head around the money in my account, and Kaia being upset.
The night passes slowly, but that’s probably because I have so much on my mind. It’s with a sigh of relief that I get home and Rosalyn leaves.
When I walk inside my room, Kaia’s in my bed. I strip off, put on my pajamas, and snuggle in beside her. It’s Tuesday night, and there are still four nights to go this week.
But I can’t sleep. Is he really serious about wanting to try again with us? Why can’t I get him out of my head?
I pick up my phone.
Me: We had pizza for dinner tonight. Kaia loved it.
It’s after midnight. Cole’s probably asleep by now.
My phone buzzes.
Cole: I wish I was there with you.
Does he mean …?
Me: You should have been. The pizza was amazing.
Cole: I wasn’t talking about pizza.
A flush hits my cheeks. For the first time since that night so long ago, he wants me—really wants me.
I shouldn’t feel the same way, but I do.
Cole: I’m not sorry if that went too far. Seeing you again makes me realize just how much I’ve missed you. Remember all those late-night movie marathons? I haven’t done one of those in years.
I laugh. When my mom was out on a drinking binge, Cole used to take my mind off it by finding the corniest movies he could. We’d take over the den at his place and camp out while watching them.
Me: Me either.
Cole: We should do one with Kaia.
The thought of that brings tears to my eyes. Our little family, the three of us, lying on the floor with the blankets from the bed. Laughing, and eating popcorn.
