by Wendy Smith
I wonder what he’s doing.
As much as I will the phone to buzz, it doesn’t. I understand why. He might not have said it, but I think Cole’s giving me space to think.
It’s thoughtful and kind, and another thing to add to the list of reasons why I should give him another chance.
I’m so confused.
12
Cole
It’s the longest week of my life.
She hasn’t sent any more texts since I sent the one saying “I love you.” I knew it was a risk, but at this point, I need her to understand how I feel.
I’ve been a constant phone-checker this week. Waiting to hear from her is torture, but I’m determined not to make her feel pressured. I keep thinking of things we used to do as kids, and how I want us to relive them all with Kaia. Maybe that will make Brooke see that we belong together.
It doesn’t help me miss her any less.
I spend the week buying things for the house to make it our own. Maybe I’m pre-empting things, but when I buy a car seat for Kaia, it feels like the right thing to do.
Saturday is the worst day. My mind wanders to the week before and how happy we all were. Kaia laughed and clapped her way through those movies while I held Brooke in my arms. What a difference a week makes.
Brooke: Are you awake?
I roll over and pick up my phone, smiling at the text. It’s 12:10 a.m.
Me: Yes. Did you just finish work?
Exactly a week ago I was on the couch with Brooke. I touched her, kissed her, loved her.
Brooke: I did. Do you want to come over?
Me: It’s late. Are you sure?
I press Send and then stare at the screen. Don’t try talking her out of it. What the hell are you doing?
Brooke: Maybe we can pick up where we left off last week?
I’m out the door and in the car before I realize I haven’t even responded.
Me: On my way.
This time of night the roads are quiet, and it doesn’t take long to get to her place.
“Who is it?” she calls when I knock on the door.
“Who else have you invited?”
She laughs, and I catch my breath when she opens the door. It seems to be my default reaction to her these days.
I’m not sure what she’s got on underneath, but all she appears to be wearing is a large pale pink T-shirt. She’s ready for bed.
“You’re the only one I invited.” she says.
“I should hope so.”
She takes my hand, and I close the door behind me, turning the lock.
Leading me to the couch, she takes a seat and I sit beside her. “I’m glad you’re here,” she says.
“There’s no way I’m missing an opportunity to spend time with you. What changed your mind?”
She runs her fingers through her hair. “I’ve spent the whole week with my heart and head fighting. I realized tonight that it’s time to let my heart get what it wants.”
“I swear to you I won’t break it again.”
“Even if you do, it won’t end me.”
Her words sting.
She touches my forearm. “I’m stronger than that. When you left, I had to grow up fast. I’m not the same woman you walked away from.”
I place my hand on hers. “I’m not the same man who walked away.”
Her cheeks flush. “Kaia is crazy about you. All it took was that day you spent with us.”
“Really?” I can’t help grinning.
“She loves that you gave her the movies, and she wants to watch them with you.”
I swallow down the tears that are threatening to form.
“You’re her father, Cole, and even if this whole thing scares me, I can’t forget that.”
“Can we tell her?”
She sucks in her bottom lip. “Soon? I don’t know if I’m quite ready for that yet.”
“What are you ready for?”
She raises her hand, touching my cheek with her fingertips. “Whatever you have for me.”
I turn my head, brushing her fingers with my lips. “That could be dangerous.”
“I won’t freak out again. Promise.”
“You don’t have to promise anything.” I lean over, and press my forehead to hers. “We go however slow you need to go. You want me to stop, then I will. I just want you to talk to me.”
She nods. “Deal.”
I grasp her chin, pulling her face to mine. Our kiss starts slow, and I run my tongue along the seam of her lips. When she parts them with a sigh, I touch her tongue with my own.
Deepening the kiss, I follow her as she lies back on the couch. She spreads her legs to let me in, and I lie on top of her, never losing lip contact.
“I love you,” I murmur when the kiss breaks.
Her eyes are so full of affection, but I understand why she can’t seem to say it back. She needs to be ready.
I run my gaze down her body. I’m almost disappointed she’s not wearing those stupid work shorts. I’d love to pull them off and throw them away. But the view is far from disappointing.
Underneath that T-shirt is pair of plain white cotton panties. I’m so desperate for her, I could rip the damn things off with my teeth.
Instead, I push her shirt up, exposing her stomach. I don’t want to rush her and scare her off again. We’ll take things slow.
Her breath quickens as I bend and plant a kiss by her belly button. “What are you doing?”
“Enjoying you.”
I drop my head, nuzzling her pussy through her panties. The scent of her fills my senses, but I resist the urge to push her panties aside and taste her. I have other plans for her first.
She grips my hair as I raise the T-shirt over top of her breasts. They’re fuller than I remember, but I guess that’s the end result of having Kaia. I mourn the fact that I never took the time to get to know her in this way after Kaia’s birth.
There are a million things I should have done better.
Tonight, I’ll show her how amazing we can be together.
She arches her back as I suck one of her nipples into my mouth. I draw circles around her other nipple with my index finger. Her grip on my hair tightens. I want to please her so much.
“God, that feels good,” she says as I run my tongue up her breast. I kiss her deep, my cock hardening against her pussy. I want her so badly it hurts. How did I live without her for so long?
Reaching down, I slide her panties to one side and slip a finger inside her. She tilts her head to catch my gaze, and the smile that illuminates her face fills my heart.
This isn’t just sex.
I can’t say we’re reconnecting, as this is nothing like I felt before. This is something new, something adult, something deeper.
“Are you tired?” I slide my finger out of her and over her clit. She’s already wet, but I won’t be satisfied until I make her come. For the rest of my life, I’ll put her first. That’ll be easy.
She laughs, and it fills my heart. “Like I said, I can sleep in tomorrow.”
“Is that an invitation for more, Mrs. Masters?”
Her chest rises and falls rapidly. “That’s an invitation.”
“Then I accept.”
“If we do this, you’re not leaving again,” she whispers.
“Never. I’ll never leave you and Kaia. You’re all I want. You’re all I need.”
My lips crash onto hers, and all I can smell is her sweet perfume. Did she wear this when we were teenagers? The floral scent is marked indelibly on my brain, and I’ll forever associate it with her. Only her.
We could have been together all this time. Should have. There’s no going back, but maybe we can move forward as a family.
“God, you taste good. It’s like coming home.” I lock my fingers in her hair, pulling her forehead to mine. “I didn’t realize what I’d given up until I found my way back to you. There’s no way I’ll make that mistake again.”
Tears roll down her cheeks. “I’ve loved
you my whole life.”
“I know. And I took it for granted. I was such a dumb kid.”
She laughs through her tears. “I think we both did dumb things.”
“Being with you was never dumb. I was so blind.”
“Maybe we both just needed to grow up a little.”
“Not you. Me. I’m so sorry, Brooke. I swear to you that this time will be different.”
I claim her mouth again, sweeping my tongue across hers. How did I ever give her up?
She bucks her hips as if reminding me I have something to do. I grin, pushing myself up. And I take in the sight of my wife.
The plan was to win her over by doing all the sweet things we did together when we were younger. Kaia and I are already friends. But Brooke? She’s the prize I’ve been craving.
Now I have her nearly naked on her couch.
I pull her panties off and bend to eat her pussy. Sex between us wasn’t like this before. It was clumsy as we were both inexperienced. This time I only want to please her.
I get lost in the scent and taste of her. She moans, her hips grinding as she pushes against my tongue.
“Shhh. You’ll wake Kaia,” I tease her, playing her clit with my finger.
“She was so tired tonight, nothing will wake her.” She laughs.
“Come here.” I hold my hands out for her to take.
“That’s what I was trying to do.” She squeals as I pull her up, and she hooks her legs around my hips as I walk toward her bedroom. I’m reclaiming my wife.
Brooke holds her arms out as I drop her onto the bed.
“Keep your legs spread.”
“What are you going to do?” She laughs.
“More of the same.”
She sighs when I lower my head to gently suck her clit.
“I need you,” I whisper against her thigh. Taking over with my finger again, I watch as she closes her eyes and digs her head into the pillow. Her hips rock until she cries out and grips my arms.
“Happy?” I ask as I move up beside her.
“More than I ever thought possible.” She licks her lips. “I love you, Cole. I always did.”
I palm her cheek, and place a gentle kiss on her lips. “I love you, too.”
“Be rough,” she says.
“What if I don’t want to be?”
“I need you to take me. Own me. We tried sweet and slow back then. I want hard and fast. I want to be yours, and I want that now.”
Her words set me on fire. I don’t hesitate. She laughs as I roll her over, and she pulls herself up onto her knees.
“We’ve never done it like this before,” I say, running my hand over her smooth skin. I probe her slit with my fingers.
“We’ve only had sex twice before. Better make it count this time. There are condoms in the top drawer.”
Jealousy rages through my veins as I take the box out and note only half the condoms are in it.
I slide on a condom.
Brooke’s going to get everything she always wanted: a home, our family, and I’ll make sure she doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to. Kaia needs us both.
It’s that thought that drives me as I slide into her. I reach forward, gripping Brooke’s breasts, and she gasps as I thrust.
She’s not the only one who wants hard and fast.
We reach a steady rhythm as she pushes back against me. She’s hot and tight, and it’s taking everything in me to hold it in. I’m not ready to come, not yet. I need to stay inside her, need to feel her wrap herself around me. She’s left herself open and vulnerable to me. Just the thought is almost too much to bear.
She moans when I pinch her nipples hard, lowering the top half of her body so it grazes the sheet. Moving my hands, I grip her ass as I pound into her. It’s just as well she's not working tomorrow—if I have my way, it’ll take her a day to recover.
I slow, my body tensing. My release floods through me, and I close my eyes, soaring as I come.
Panting, I come to a stop.
“Holy shit,” Brooke says, collapsing on the bed.
I laugh, pulling out of her and flopping beside her. “You’re telling me. I’ll just get rid of the condom and maybe I’ll let you go to sleep.”
“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep after this.” She brushes my lips with hers. “Don’t be long.”
When I get back, I pull her into my arms, and she plants a kiss on my chest. “That was amazing.”
“Better than the last time, huh?”
Her lips twitch with amusement. “That wouldn’t have taken much.”
I stroke her hair. “We were young. And we had no real clue.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s it.” Brooke sighs. “It was our wedding night. We rushed into it because of the pressure from my mom and yours. Maybe it was the one time we should have done what your father wanted.”
I swallow. “He didn’t want me to marry you.”
“That’s what I mean. If we hadn’t felt rushed, maybe we would have taken the time to get to know each other more … intimately.” She snuggles in closer. “Tonight, there was no pressure. We just wanted to be together. That’s how it’s supposed to be between two people.”
“I did love you back then.”
“I know. I loved you too. But it all felt so forced.” She nuzzles my chest. “I always thought that was why you never touched me after our wedding. It scared me to think that you might have been looking for that pleasure outside of our marriage. But at the same time, I couldn’t blame you.”
I run the tip of my finger along her jaw, raising her face to look into her eyes. “There was no one else. Dad told me I had to stand on my own two feet, so I worked all those hours at the hardware store, and then I came home to you. I didn’t think you wanted me touching you.”
Tears well in her eyes. “I’d lie awake at night and worry that you didn’t want to. All I wanted was you.”
“If only we could have talked then like we are now.” I give her what I hope’s a reassuring smile, and it seems to work. “I promise you that I’ll always tell you how I’m feeling. No holding back.”
She sniffs. “No holding back.”
With a sweet kiss on her lips, I curl my body around hers.
In one night we’ve achieved more intimacy than we did in our first year of living together as husband and wife.
This is it.
13
Brooke
I watch him sleep.
I felt safe and wanted. More so than I have done in a long time. I’ve had one boyfriend since Cole left me, and I had that brief moment of security, but the relationship was a failure.
I want someone who will not only love me, but love Kaia. Kaia needs a father. One who will be there for her when she needs him. One who will love her unconditionally.
Could Cole be ready for that?
I have no doubt he once loved our daughter. His tears on the day of her birth told me that.
I’m so conflicted.
It might only have been four years ago, but we were different people. Not as mature, and struggling with not only a marriage we hadn’t anticipated, but a baby.
He should have stuck around, but at the same time, I’ve often thought that staying together might have just left us with a lifetime of misery.
Together, we were stagnant. Apart, we’ve moved forward.
Well, he has.
I still resent that he got the life he wanted while I didn’t. But in standing up to Cole’s father, I made that choice. It’s all still a mess, but I don’t regret last night.
His eyes flicker open, and his lips curl into a warm smile. “Morning.”
“Hi.” I can’t help my own grin. I can’t say that I can forget the bad times, but being with Cole again feels right.
He reaches for my face, pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “I like waking up with you.” His lips twitch. “Last night was amazing.”
“It was definitely different.”
> He nods. “Remember the night Kaia was conceived? Neither of us had any clue.”
“Well, clearly we worked out what to do.” I laugh.
“I was so nervous. You were so beautiful, and I was terrified of disappointing you.”
I laugh. “I felt the same way.”
He shakes his head. “There was no way you’d ever disappoint me. It felt like I was finally waking up and seeing you the way I always should have. And then I screwed it all up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
He leans forward, kissing me and lingering on my lips. “I’m sorry, Brooke. I’m sorry for everything.”
“I would have preferred it if you’d stayed, but I understand.”
“How can you understand when I don’t? I have no idea where my head was at when I left.”
“We were young.” I plant my palm on his chest. “And things weren’t good for either of us.”
He places his hand on mine. “You know, the most amazing thing I ever saw was when Kaia was born. The bond we had that day should have held. Watching that little life we created come into the world was the greatest moment of my life.”
My eyes prick with tears. He’s right. We were strong in the days after Kaia’s birth. But the sleepless nights and the pressure over getting married and supporting ourselves took its toll.
“No matter how bad our relationship was, I never would have left if I knew Dad would pull that shit on you. I hope you believe that.”
I nod. “I didn’t at the time, but I’m coming round.”
He smiles. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me.”
“I’d like that.”
“What do we do about Kaia?”
I shrug. “What do you want to do?”
He hesitates, and I see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “Do we tell her I’m her father?”
I’m caught off-guard for a moment. I thought if we went down this track, he’d insist on it. He’s asking me. “Maybe not just yet. It’d be good for her to get to know you without any expectation.”
Cole frowns. “I’m not leaving again.”
“We both need stability, Cole. I’ve had one boyfriend since you left, and it took a few months before I was ready for him to meet Kaia. It’s different with you, but once she knows you’re her daddy, she’ll expect you to be here all the time for her.”
