Falling

by Wendy Smith

  “Would that be so bad?”

  “If things don’t work out between us, yes. I’m not saying we never tell her. Just that we hold off for a little while. You can spend time with us here, and we’ll go slow.”

  A sly smile crosses his face. “When you say ‘spend time,’ do you mean sleep here?”

  I laugh. “Maybe. Sometimes. If you’re good.”

  He waggles his eyebrows. “Oh, I’m real good.”

  “Not cocky at all, then?”

  When he laughs, I’m reminded of the boy I knew before all of this. When we were friends and nothing else mattered.

  His expression straightens. “I meant it when I said I want to make things right. Everything. You, me, the whole child support situation.” His brows knit together. “I asked Dad about the payments I know went out, and he’s been funneling them into a bank account. Or so he says.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, he said that he was holding onto it until you did a DNA test. He wasn’t happy when I said I was going to sort it all out, but I don’t care. He missed out on seeing his own granddaughter through all this.” He licks his lips. “I don’t think he told Mum what he’d asked of you either. She’s been upset for a long time that you moved away.”

  “Your mother was always really lovely to me. I just assumed she felt the same way your father did.”

  We both look up as the door flies open, and Kaia stands in the doorway.

  “Breakfast time,” she yells. Her eyes grow wide as she fixes her gaze on Cole. I open my side cabinet and pull out a nightgown, tugging it down over me.

  “Hey, baby.” I open my arms, and Kaia throws herself onto the bed and me. “Remember Cole?”

  Kaia keeps staring at Cole. “You having breakfast too?”

  I laugh, burying my nose in her hair. “Yes, Cole is having breakfast with us. What do you want?”

  “I can make breakfast. Just point me in the right direction.” Cole taps Kaia on the nose with his index finger, and she giggles.

  “There’s cereal, and bread for toast. And eggs,” I reply.

  “Got any bacon?”

  I shake my head. “That’s a treat.”

  “Do you mind if I go and get some? Is there a store around here?”

  I smile. “At the end of the block.”

  “I’ll go and grab some bacon because I’m starving. I could eat the whole pig.”

  Kaia giggles again.

  “Do you want to come with me, Kaia?”

  She turns her head and looks at me, her eyes still wide.

  “Do you want to go? You can.”

  She snuggles in to me, but I know she loves going to the store and looking at all the things on the shelves. Maybe Cole needs to know that if he takes her, they might not be back in time for lunch.

  “Kaia?”

  Kaia nods.

  “Come on. I’ll get you dressed while your … Cole puts his clothes on. Maybe you can get him to buy you a treat.”

  One of Cole’s eyebrows pops up, and he grins. “Sure. Sounds good.”

  Kaia leads the way out of the bedroom, her hand in mine. I turn at the door. “I hope you know this is going to be the slowest grocery shop ever.”

  “We only need one thing.”

  “She’ll need to look at everything. You’ve been warned.” I laugh as I pull the door closed.

  He’ll learn.

  It’s an hour before they walk back in the door.

  I sit on the couch, flicking through a book. “That was quick.”

  Kaia bounces onto the couch beside me. “We got so much.”

  “Did you?”

  Cole’s breath is on the back of my neck as he bends and plants a kiss in my hair. “She didn’t talk that much last time I was here. You never told me how much she can talk.”

  “Didn’t I?” I laugh. “I guess the movies distracted her.”

  “I’ll go and make breakfast.” He walks past me and toward the kitchen, his arms full of shopping bags.

  “What on earth did you buy? That looks like a lot more than bacon,” I call.

  “They had meat on special, and Kaia picked out a couple of things. I hope you have room in your freezer.”

  Curious, I give Kaia a kiss and head into the kitchen. Cole’s stacking things in the freezer already, and I grasp his arm.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Providing for my family. Kaia showed me what you like. I hope she actually knows.”

  I laugh. “Depends. If it’s chicken nuggets and French fries, you can forget this trying again thing.”

  He looks up at me, and his expression is wary until I grin. “I bought things I like too. Which is a bit presumptuous, but I’m thinking I might be spending a little more time here now.”

  “Maybe.”

  His eyes light up.

  “I’m hungry.” Kaia grabs hold of my leg.

  “I am onto that breakfast right now. Give me ten minutes,” Cole says.

  “How long is ten minutes?”

  He laughs. “Not long. Do you want eggs and bacon?”

  She nods.

  “Well, you go and sit with your mother, and I’ll have them ready really shortly.”

  She turns to walk into the living room, and he touches her arm. “Thank you for coming shopping with me, Kaia. You’re so helpful.”

  Kaia hugs my leg and then disappears into the living room.

  “Do you want any help?”

  Cole closes the freezer door. “No. You go and sit down.”

  I peck him on the cheek. “Fun trip?”

  He grins. “She’s amazing. So much like you when you were a kid.”

  “Are you saying I talked a lot?”

  Cole shrugs. “If the cap fits.”

  I slap his arm, laughing. “Oh, you are so going to get it tonight when she’s asleep.”

  He captures my hand in his, pulling me closer. “That’s what I’m counting on.”

  I swallow, aware that my breathing has become ragged. The memory of last night plays on my mind. He touched me how I needed to be touched. He loved me how I needed to be loved.

  It’s almost not fair.

  He’s been the villain in my life since the day he walked out the door.

  And now, he’s Kaia’s hero.

  “Go and put your feet up. I’ve got this.” He pecks me on the lips, and I nod.

  “Fine. Let me know if I can do anything.”

  “Nope. I’ll take care of all your needs today. And then again tonight.”

  I laugh. The ease with which he seems to be settling back into my life is comforting.

  Kaia sits on the couch, swinging her feet. Some cartoon blares from the television. I don’t allow her to watch them often, but I’m not about to ruin her day.

  “Have fun shopping?” I sit beside her, and she scoots across onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

  “Cole’s funny.”

  “He is, isn’t he?” My stomach grumbles at the sound of a sizzling pan, and the air slowly fills with the aroma of bacon.

  “That smells yummy,” I say, tickling Kaia’s stomach.

  She giggles, letting me go and flopping onto the couch. “I like bacon.”

  “I know you do.” I smile.

  For four years, she’s been the center of my world. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about sharing her. But if Cole and I are going to make this work, that’s part and parcel of us being together.

  I never thought he’d be the one to put us back together. As a couple, I thought we were lost forever.

  “I hope you ladies are hungry,” Cole calls from the kitchen, and Kaia grins at me.

  “Starving. Hurry up.” I laugh.

  “Cooking as fast as I can.”

  Kaia snuggles into me, and we watch TV until there’s a flurry of activity at the dining table.

  “Want a hand?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “No, I’ve got it.”

  I love that he’s working so hard to prove hims
elf. But the speed with which he works scares me this won’t last.

  “Come and get it.”

  On the table are plates laden with scrambled eggs and bacon, and a plate in the middle piled high with toast. I drool over the sight of the butter melted on the bread.

  “How hungry are you?” I ask Kaia as she sits beside me.

  “Really hungry.” Her eyes grow big, and I smile at the size of her plate. She’ll never finish it, but Cole’s heart’s in the right place.

  “This looks like a Cole-size serving.” I laugh.

  As I take my first bite, I look around the table.

  After all this time, we feel like a family.

  14

  Cole

  * * *

  I wake up curled around Brooke the next morning. My heart feels full. I never realized until now just how empty my life was. If I have Brooke and Kaia back, I have everything.

  Brooke stirs, and I press a kiss to her temple.

  “Hey.” Her voice is croaky, and I’m not surprised. We were up half the night, despite her early start today.

  “Morning.”

  She rolls over, and I gaze into those beautiful blue eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “Is this the right thing to do? Us?”

  “That’s a big question for first thing in the morning.”

  She smiles. “I just want to make sure we’re doing the right thing for Kaia.”

  “This has to be good for Kaia, right? Her parents being together.”

  “I hope so.”

  I cup her cheek. “Hey. Are you having doubts?”

  She shrugs. “I’m scared.”

  “So am I. I keep thinking about how badly I screwed up, and how much I don’t want to again.”

  “I don’t want to screw this up either.”

  I stare at her. “You never screwed up anything. It’s all on me.”

  “It took two of us to conceive Kaia. She’s the best thing we ever did.” She sighs. “I just wanted you to love me.”

  “I did love you. I just didn’t realize how much. You know, you were everything when I was growing up, and I couldn’t see past you being my friend. But you were always there.” I stroke her cheek. “I was blind to it, Brooke, and I was such an idiot.”

  “Yes, yes you were.” She smiles, and it lights up my heart. I love her, and I’ve always loved her.

  It’s just taken me this long to work that out.

  Kaia’s already up and in front of the television when we leave the bedroom. She lights up at the sight of Brooke, and gives me the side-eye.

  “Morning, baby.” Brooke sits on the sofa, and Kaia climbs onto her lap.

  “Hi, Kaia.” I hold up my palm, but she ignores it.

  “Kaia, be nice to Cole. We’re going to be seeing him around a lot more now, I hope.”

  She turns, pursing her lips. “You slept in Mommy’s bed again.”

  I nod. “I did. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Sometimes, I get into Mommy’s bed in the morning.”

  Brooke’s amusement is written all over her face.

  “Huh. Well, I’m sorry if I stole your place. But I like sleeping in your Mommy’s bed.”

  She beams. “So do I.”

  “I guess we’ll have to share.”

  She laughs, and nods.

  “Must be time for breakfast. Cereal this morning.” Brooke takes Kaia’s hand.

  “Can we have bacon again?” Kaia asks.

  “Why don’t we do that next weekend. We don’t have a lot of time during the week.”

  Kaia nods, pouting. If it makes her happy, I’ll get up earlier to cook her bacon in the morning. If Brooke’s okay with it.

  I join Kaia at the table for a quick bowl of cornflakes. Brooke brings coffee to the table, and I smile as she sits down beside me.

  “You don’t have a change of clothing,” she says.

  “I’ll go home and get changed. Work’s pretty flexible.”

  “Lucky you.” She sighs. “My boss is a complete dragon if I’m a few minutes late.”

  She takes a long drink of coffee. “Speaking of which. Come on, let’s get dressed.” Brooke takes Kaia’s hand and leads her to her room while I go back to the couch. Kaia runs back minutes five minutes later and hops up with me.

  “Do you get to watch cartoons before you go to day care?”

  She nods. “Mommy doesn’t let me watch them all the time, but I know how to turn on the TV.”

  “I can see that. You’re very clever.”

  I’m content sitting with my daughter when Brooke re-enters the room. She looks gorgeous. She’s wearing the dress she wore that first day I saw her and Kaia at day care. Her makeup and hair are done to perfection. All I can think about is dragging her back to bed and ruining it all.

  “Ready to go?” I ask.

  She nods. “Kaia, come on. We’ll miss the bus if we’re not careful.”

  “You don’t have to catch the bus. I’ll drive you.”

  Brooke shakes her head. “We’d need a car seat for Kaia.”

  “Lucky I went and got one earlier in the week.”

  She smiles. “You did?”

  “If I want you two back, I have to make sure I have all my bases covered. Besides, it gave me something to do while I waited for your call.”

  She leans over and kisses me. “Don’t you have to get ready for work?”

  “I’ll drop you two off and go in later. I can drive you home this afternoon too.”

  “You’re so good to us.”

  “If I’m going to put my family back together, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  Brooke licks her lips and shoots a glance at Kaia. She’s so wrapped up in her cartoon, she’s not paying any attention to us. Brooke lowers her voice. “Maybe tonight we can tell Kaia? Before I go to work.”

  “I thought you wanted to wait.”

  She shrugs. “Whether things work out between us or not, she needs you.”

  I reach out, stroking her hair. “Have I told you how amazing you are?”

  “Not this morning.” She grins.

  “Well, you are amazing.” I turn to Kaia. “Come on. Let’s get going.”

  It’s the longest day ever. I stare at my screen, but my mind’s on Brooke. Is it too soon to text her?

  A loud laugh interrupts my thoughts. I look up. Mike. When did he enter my office?

  “What’s got into you?” he asks.

  “Brooke and I are back together.”

  He grins. “That’s wonderful. You’re with your little girl too?”

  I nod. “We’re telling her this evening that I’m her father.”

  “Fantastic.”

  “I’ll be with her tonight while Brooke works.”

  “Brooke’s still working nights?”

  I nod. “She has to do what she feels is right, and that’s leaving things as normal as possible right now.” Sighing, I fiddle with a pen, twirling it around between my fingers. “She needs to be sure I’m not going to desert them again.”

  Mike sits in a chair on the other side of my desk. “I guess I can understand that.”

  “It’s so weird. We’re still the same people we were, but there’s something there that didn’t exist before. A spark.”

  He nods. “You’ve both been through a lot. You’re not the same people.”

  “I guess.” I sigh. “We’ve come so far these past few days, but I want more.”

  “I told you. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”

  “Everything’s so good right now. I just hope we can keep it that way.”

  Mike leans back and puts his feet on my desk. “I’m happy for you. Want to go for a drink after work?”

  “I’ve got to pick up Kaia and Brooke. Can I take a raincheck?”

  “Sure thing. I guess now I can make that move I’ve been thinking about on your PA?”

  My eyebrows rise. “You wanted to make a move on Liz? Dude, I was never in your
way.”

  He holds up his palms, dropping his feet to the ground. “Just checking. I’m sure she won’t reject my advances like you just did.”

  I shake my head with a smile as he leaves the room.

  Nothing can bring me down today.

  I park outside the day care, and smile as I see Brooke approaching.

  “Hey, beautiful.” I jump out of the car, and stride toward her. A smile crosses her face, and her eyes are so full of love.

  With a peck to her lips, I take her hand in mine and we head inside to pick up our daughter together.

  “Mommy,” Kaia squeals as soon as she sees Brooke and runs toward us. She comes to a halt right in front of her. Her eyes widen as she takes me in. “Cole?”

  “Hi, Kaia.”

  “I like being in the car.” Kaia looks up at me with those big, dark eyes. Every time I look into them, I wonder what it was like for Brooke having that constant reminder of me.

  “Do you, sweetheart?”

  She nods.

  “Is that a hint?” I chuckle. “Well, lucky my car is right outside waiting for you to get into it.”

  Brooke touches my arm. “I’ll just grab her bag.”

  Kaia takes my hand, and I smile. She takes my breath away, just like her mother does.

  Brooke comes back with the bag, and we walk toward the door.

  “She’s taking a real shine to you. She wasn’t even like that with Rosalyn at first,” she says quietly.

  “Really?”

  “Rosalyn spent a week just spending time with us before I started at the bar. Kaia still cried when I left for work that first week.”

  I open the back door for Kaia, and help her into her car seat as Brooke gets in the front. She smiles when I climb in beside her and squeeze her hand.

  “Ready to go home and tell her?”

  Brooke nods. “As I’ll ever be.”

  I grin all the way back to their place. Today, my little girl finds out just who I am.

  When we get there, Brooke unlocks the door, and I follow, Kaia on my back.

  She giggles as I sit on the couch. “That was fun.”

  Brooke leans over and whispers something in Kaia’s ear. She scrambles down off the couch and runs to her room.