He ignores me as he walks over to her and kisses her again. Landen and Maddox look at me like I’m supposed to do something about it, but what the fuck can I do?
“Let’s go!” I snap and walk over to the car.
“Let Becky drive,” Eli offers.
“Fuck that!” She’s not even getting in my car!
I go to open the driver’s door, and he comes to stand between the door and me. “Let Becky drive,” he repeats. “She’s the only one sober.”
I look over at her. I wouldn’t say Becky Holt is a slut, but she is quickly making the cut. She wears a white crop top with sparkly pink writing on it and a pair of short shorts that shows off her ass. “How did you get here?” I demand.
“A friend dropped me off.”
My phone beeps, and I pull it out of my back pocket to see a text from the girl I plan on hooking up with tonight.
Where are you?
I run a hand through my hair but don’t respond and narrow my eyes on Eli. “Tomorrow, you are telling him.” I will not be in the middle of this shit! If he doesn’t tell him, then I will. This is his only chance to make it right.
“Tell who what?” Becky asks, flipping her hair to her side.
“Eli?” I growl when he ignores me.
He nods. “Tomorrow.”
I toss Becky the keys. “All of you fuckers are riding in the back.” Then I walk around the car and climb into the passenger seat and put on my seat belt, cursing them all.
She gets in, hands the guys the thirty pack she brought them, and starts the car up. “Riot” by Hollywood Undead blares through my speakers. The guys climb into the back, laughing and shoving each other around. I pull out my cell to text the girl back that I’ll be at her place soon.
“He was going to tell you the next day,” I say, my chest tightening at that memory. Minutes later, my best friends were gone, and everything changed. Who and what Eli was doing no longer mattered because he was dead. And after all we had been through as brothers, I didn’t want Deke to remember Eli as the friend who betrayed him and fucked the girl he loved.
Deke begins to pace the clubhouse.
“It doesn’t make sense,” Austin says. “Why wouldn’t she take the blame? You said she was sober, so why run?”
“It was … complicated.” I sigh. My eyes go to Deke really quick, and he’s still pacing. His shoulders pulled back, and his entire body rigid. He’s going to snap any second.
“Why?” she urges.
I look back at her and run a hand through my hair. Why? “Because I told her to.”
I blink, trying to see, but a cloud of dust covers the car. My ears ring, and I’m upside down. My head pounds from all the blood rushing to it. “Eli?” Cough. “Mad … dox?” Glass covers the inside of the car along with beer cans. Some full. Others empty. My skin stings from the impact of the airbag. The front windshield is completely missing, and I smell blood.
I hear someone cry out in pain, and I look around to see Becky beside me. She too is upside down because she was wearing her seat belt. “You okay?” I ask, coughing again. It makes me flinch.
Her blond hair touches the roof of the car, and her nose is bleeding. Her crop top is ripped and also has blood on it. “I don’t know … what happened,” she cries.
“We gotta get out of the car,” I say as my bearings begin to come back. “Eli? Landen?” I scream. My throat burns, and I try to swallow, but it’s painful.
She sobs.
I place my right hand on the roof and hiss in a breath when a pain shoots down my side and upper chest. So I place my left hand on the ceiling while I undo my seat belt. I try to hold myself up, but I fall flat on my face. Right into the broken glass. “FFFUUCCCKKK!” I growl between clenched teeth. I manage to get my body out of the broken passenger side window and stumble over to the driver’s side of the car. I get down on my knees and see her window is also missing, but pieces of shattered glass are still in around the edges. “Cover your face,” I order and kick the big shards out of the way. “I’m gonna have to undo your seat belt,” I tell her. “Put your hands on the ceiling.”
I get her out through the window, and we both stumble. She falls to her knees, holding her stomach.
“Eli? Maddox? Landen?” I call out, placing my hands on my knees. Nothing. “I gotta call 911.” I pat down my pockets, but I don’t have my phone. I was texting on it when we crashed. Who knows where the fuck it’s at. “Fuck!”
She continues to sob, and I drop to my knees before her. “Are you okay? What hurts?”
She looks up at me and tears run down her face, smearing her once flawless makeup. “I … I …”
“What is it?” I ask, needing her to tell me so I can find my friends.
She wraps her arms around her stomach.
“That’s not enough, Cole!” Deke shouts, interrupting my story. “Why did you tell her to run?”
I look at my best friend and my chest tightens. “Becky was pregnant.”
Austin gasps. Deke just stares at me like he’s not really seeing me. “I …”
He punches me in the face, knocking me back. I trip over my own feet and fall to my ass. I should have seen it coming. He comes for me, his body landing on top of mine, and his fist connects with my jaw. My face starts throbbing, and I taste blood. Usually, I would enjoy this but not like this. Not now. I hate to see him hurting. And the worst part is I did it to him.
“Stop!” Austin cries out. “Deke!”
“I was trying to protect her,” I growl between his punches.
He hits me again, and this time, I land a fist to his side. He grunts, and I do it again. He pulls back, and I kick him off me.
We’re both breathing heavily as we sit on the floor. I stand slowly, and he jumps to his feet as if I’m going to attack him.
He raises his fists, and I do the same. “I don’t want to fight you.” He snorts like he can’t believe me. I lick my busted lip and try to catch my breath. “I told her to run. Do you know what that would have done to her? The baby? She would have been held responsible for something that we now know was never even her fault.” Becky’s parents have money, but I wasn’t sure they would bail her out like my father would me. I couldn’t let that happen to her. Couldn’t put her through that.
“And you did it for Deke,” Austin says. We both look at her, and she’s crying. Tears run down her face, and she licks her wet lips. “You didn’t want Deke to know she was involved at all. Let alone pregnant with his best friend’s baby.”
My chest tightens, and my stomach drops.
“Is that true?” he demands.
I drop my fists. “I’m sorry, Deke.” My voice shakes, and he swallows “I wanted to tell you. But—”
“But you saved her.” Austin interrupts me.
“Stop,” I say when I see the look in her eyes. It’s the same one she gave me up in the loft when she realized I wasn’t driving. Like I’m a fucking saint. I’m not.
“You protected her, Cole. That’s not something very many people would do.”
My jaw tightens. “I used her.”
Deke leans his head back, looking up at the vaulted ceiling and rafters, sighing like he’s counting to ten trying not to kill me.
“How?” Austin asks. “I don’t understand what you mean by use.”
“Cole did her a favor, so she owed him,” Deke growls, knowing how this works.
How I work.
“What did you have her do?” she asks confused.
I look at the woman I’ve come to love in the eyes and hope this doesn’t break her heart. I could lose them both tonight, but I’ve always been a fighter. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get them back. “I forced her to be your friend.”
I swim laps. It’s all I ever do now since the car wreck. If I’m not in a pool, I’m at therapy trying to get my body back to normal because I refuse to lose my spot on the swim team. I’m not sure it will ever be, though, because it hurts all the fucking time. It’s been six weeks s
ince the accident, and I quit taking my pain pills the day I came home from the hospital. I like the reminder. The pain. I deserve it.
“What You Deserve” by No Resolve plays through the outside speakers while I do my laps.
Popping out of the water, I realize I’m not alone. Someone is behind me, but it’s not my father. He’s gone for the week. Running both hands through my hair, I step out of the pool and hold in a sigh. It’s Becky Holt. I can’t get rid of her. She’s just another reminder.
“Isn’t it too soon to swim?” she asks, sitting on one of the chaise lounge chairs under the awning.
I don’t answer. I take the towel off the table and wipe off my face.
She hangs her head. “I’ve been texting you. I came up to the hospital.”
“I didn’t want to see you then, and I don’t want to see you now,” I snap in a clipped tone. I roll my shoulders, trying to loosen the tension. Nothing fucking works!
Tears spring to her blue eyes. “I lost someone too, Cole. Eli was my friend too …”
Friend? We didn’t even know he was sleeping with her. “No, you were just another girl he was fucking.”
She jumps to her feet. “You don’t know …”
I wrap my hand around her throat and push her back against the wall of the pool house. I’m in her face, growling, “You have no fucking clue what I lost! What I did for you!” I did what needed to be done, but it cost me so much. I couldn’t care less what people fucking call me! A murderer. They’re not wrong. I killed three people.
She takes in a shaky breath since I’m not cutting off her air. Yet. She needs to take my hint and leave me the fuck alone!
“I’m so sorry.” Tears spill over her eyes and run down her cheeks.
Usually, tears would turn me on, but hers disgust me. I should have never let Eli leave with her. I should have been driving. Maybe if I had, Eli would have been in the passenger seat. And maybe he would have survived? Maybe not taking her would have saved all of them.
I should have left her there on the side of the street at that party—where she belonged.
“You shouldn’t have taken the fall.” She sniffs.
Too late. “You shouldn’t have been there at all!”
Her watery eyes narrow on me. “I was responsible—”
“You wanna owe me, Becky? Huh? Is that why you came here? To tell me that you’re fucking sorry that my friends are dead?” I interrupt her. I don’t care to hear what kind of relationship she had with Eli. It doesn’t fucking matter anymore. Nothing does!
They’re all fucking dead!
She swallows nervously against my hand that holds her hostage. Owing me is like owing the devil. And when I come to collect, nothing less than your soul will suffice.
“I owe you, Cole,” she whispers after a long second.
“When I need you for something, you will do what I say?” I ask, arching a brow.
Think long and hard before you agree to that, Becky!
She gives me a slow nod, and whispers, “Whatever you need.”
“I don’t wanna talk to you or fucking see you until then, do you understand?”
“Yes.” Her response is soft. Her shoulders physically shake, and tears run down her face.
“Good. Now leave.” I let go of her neck and take a step back from her. Then I turn and dismiss her before diving back into the pool.
“I blackmailed her to be your friend so I could keep you close,” I growl at Austin. “Does that sound like someone who is good?”
“You took the fall for her,” she says.
“For a price!” I snap.
She wraps her arms around her stomach as though she’s trying to protect herself from me. I take a step toward her. “Austin—”
“She’s right.” Deke interrupts me. He sighs. “You were in a very bad place for a long time, Cole. Months.” He looks over at Austin, and his eyes soften. “Until she came along, things were … different. I understand why you did what you did. But you should have come to me.”
The room falls silent. These people should be mad at me. I was evil. Nothing I did was good. I couldn’t save my friends. I couldn’t save myself from the hole I got buried under. Hell, I couldn’t even save Austin. She did it herself.
“What happened to the baby?” Austin asks softly.
I run a hand through my hair. “You have to understand after that, Becky and I didn’t talk. We didn’t even look at one another until that night I threw you a party to force you into the group, and I told her it was time to pay up. That was like eight months.” I can’t do the math at the moment. “And even after then, our conversations were limited.”
“What happened to the baby?” It’s Deke who asks this time.
They’re not going to give up. “I don’t know—”
“Bullshit!” he snaps, interrupting me.
I lift my hands, hating to see him hurting over this. Over something I did. “I’m being a hundred percent truthful with you, Deke. I’ve never asked, okay? I was a bastard and never cared to ask what happened to her or the baby. And she never offered any info. Hell, for all we know, it was David’s. I never got to ask how long she … and Eli had been fucking.” He flinches. “Sorry,” I mutter.
Austin sniffs, looking down at the floor. Her watery eyes unable to meet mine.
I hate that look on her face. Too many people have made her feel that way—hurt. Betrayed. I love it when she raises her chin. When she gets in my face and challenges me.
She lets out a long breath, and Deke just stands there. Without a word, she turns and walks up the stairs to the loft.
“Austin—” I call after her, but Deke interrupts me again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
How was I supposed to explain to my best friend that our other best friend was fucking the girl he was in love with and she was pregnant? Possibly with his best friend’s kid? “Because I knew you loved her. Her being with Eli and involved in the wreck … it was just too much. I didn’t tell her to run for nothing just to get caught up in it months down the road.”
“That’s why she was so upset.” He sighs. “That day you skipped school after reading the emails we found on Jerrold’s laptop. Austin stopped me in the hall at school and demanded to know where you were. Later that day, Becky kept calling her. When she didn’t answer, she asked me what I knew. I told her that we had found evidence that you weren’t at fault for the accident. Bruce had paid to kill you.” He shakes his head. “She started bawling. I thought … I just thought that she felt bad for blaming you like the rest of this town did.” His blue eyes meet mine. “She shouldn’t have let you take the fall.”
“She was scared. Terrified. I may have been a fucking heartless bastard, but the poor thing couldn’t take that kind of pressure. She wasn’t a shark. And I wasn’t gonna let this town drag her to the deep end and drown her.”
After the wreck, kids feared me. Parents hated me. They all wanted me in jail. I never once disagreed with them. My father chose to get me off. I never asked for his help. I would have taken whatever punishment the courts thought I deserved at the time. Just because it wasn’t really an accident doesn’t mean I wasn’t at fault. They’re all dead because of me.
“Now you’re defending her?” he asks with an arch of his brow.
I throw my hands out to my sides. “What do you want from me, Deke? I didn’t know what was going to happen to us. I just told her to go, and she went. I had three friends who were missing. They weren’t in the car. We were both bloody. She was in pain and sobbing while sitting in the middle of the road.” He flinches at my words. “I could handle whatever they were gonna throw at me. She wouldn’t have.” I take a breath. “I told her when we went to Bruce’s to get the recordings Austin had that we needed to come clean. It was time. She panicked all over again. Saying you could never forgive her.”
He stands and turns for the door.
“Deke …?”
He ignores me as well, leaving and slammi
ng the door shut on his way out.
I make my way up to the loft. It’s the middle of the fucking day, and I find Austin lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her clothes on the floor. I sit down on the edge with my back to her.
“How long are you gonna be mad at me?” I hate it! We finally got to a good place, and now here we are, back to square fucking one. Cole Reynolds being the fucking bastard he is.
I turn to see her face.
She sits up, her green eyes soften. “I’m not mad at you, Cole. I’m mad at everyone else in this town who turned their back on you.”
“It wasn’t their fault.”
She places her hand on my shoulder. “It wasn’t yours either.”
“Austin …”
“No, Cole. Whatever you have to say, you can save it.” She reaches up and cups my face. “I don’t think any less of you.”
My jaw tightens. “I blackmailed her to be your friend. Your only friend in this town.” I didn’t let anyone else get too close to her. I kept her on a very short leash. “We’re both frauds!”
She gives me a small smile. “I’m not mad at you or at Becky. I feel sorry for both of you.”
I pull away from her. “You shouldn’t feel sorry for me. You should hate me!”
Tears spring to her green eyes. “Why do you do this to yourself?” she asks. I don’t answer. “When are you going to forgive yourself and move on?”
“Move on?” I ask breathlessly. “My friends are dead—”
“They’re not gonna come back, Cole.” She interrupts me softly. “I’m so sorry that you lost them. But how do you expect anyone to forgive you when you can’t even forgive yourself?”
“I don’t want their forgiveness,” I growl, rising to my feet.
She gets up on her knees. It’s like the time she found out I wasn’t driving all over again. Naked on my bed, she looks at me like she pities me. When I told her to get the fuck out! But she didn’t. She had stayed. She had opened up to me about what her mom’s boyfriend had done to her. Instead of turning away from me, she’s standing her ground. Prepared to fight me. It’s something I love and hate about her. I hate being cornered. Or pushed.
DARE SERIES COLLECTION Page 52
