Shadow Man (Paragons of Queer Speculative Fiction)

by Scott, Melissa

  Tatian said, "Will you?"

  "I suppose I have to. I opened the fucking door." Warreven made a face, reached for 3er hair again, twisting the loose strands into a solid bar. After a moment, 3e went on, in a smaller voice, "And, yes, I'm scared, Tatian. It's not just that I don't know what to do, or how to do it, which I don't, but-- It's what I said, we don't have a word for revolution or a word for herm, and I'm sup- posed to invent both of them. I've been a man all my life--yesterday, I was still a man. Now I'm a herm, and I don't know what that means, except that half my own people say it's not really human. How in all the hells can I lead anybody to anything when I don't know what I'm asking them to become? I have to be able to offer something in place of what we've got."

  "You always were a herm," Tatian said.

  "Yes, but no one said it." Warreven smiled. "As long as no one said it, it--I--didn't exist. But now that it is said, nobody knows what should happen next. And I can't act without knowing. I won't."

  Tatian nodded slowly.

  "And I'm sorry," Warreven said again, "that I dragged you into it. I didn't mean to do that. Out of everything, I didn't mean to do that."

  Tatian looked at 3im, still in black from the night before, black hair wild, the bruises still very evident on 3er face beneath the dark bandage. He could see the shadow of the spirit in 3im, could see, too, the advocate he had run into at the courthouse. Behind 3im, light gleamed around the edges of the shutters, and he was reminded again of the people camped in the EHB court- yards. He still wasn't sure it was right to leave them without a leader, was equally sure it was wrong for Warreven to stay if 3e didn't know what 3e was doing. To stay was a man's solution, in the stereotypes he had grown up with, to stay and fight. Maybe Warreven's way, the herm's way, to retreat to try again, would work better, this time, in this place.

  "It's all right," he said. "You were right. That's all there is to it, really. It didn't work--it was the wrong time or something. But you're still right."

  "I'll cling to that thought," Warreven answered, but the twist of 3er swollen mouth was almost good-humored. Tatian smiled back, and went to the media center to begin arranging his own departure.

  They left for the starport in the first of the pharmaceuticals' convoys, crammed into the cargo compartment of a six-wheeled triphibian along with a man and his two children and their lug- gage, and a trio of technicians, two off-worlders, a woman and a mem, and a fem who looked at least part Haran. There were more Harans in the other vehicles, and more families: hardly surprising, Tatian thought, shifting on his hastily packed carrycase. The companies were evacuating their most vulnerable people. Warreven had thrown a shaal over 3er head and shoulders, sat hunched in the corner of the compartment where 3e could see out the tiny viewport, but Tatian could tell from the sidelong glances that the others had recognized 3im. The father frowned, looked as though he might say something, but Tatian fixed him with a glare, and he subsided. Then one of the children tugged at his arm and he bent to listen to the question.

  "--Mommy coming?"

  "As soon as she can finish turning over the department," the man answered, keeping his voice soothing with an effort.

  "NeuKass thinks it's that bad, then?" one of the technicians asked, leaning forward on the starcrate %e was sharing with the mem, and the man nodded before he thought.

  "We're just taking precautions," he corrected himself, and nodded toward the children.

  "Sorry," the tech said, and leaned back again.

  Tatian looked toward the viewport--really more of a strip, a narrow band of armorglass set into the wall of the cargo compartment to let the loaders check the cargo--as the triphibian tilted. They were creeping up the long ramp that led to the port road's elevated section, and he could see past Warreven's shoulder into one of the markets. It was busier than he'd expected, the central area actually crowded, and then he saw the four-up parked beneath the mural of the spirits, and the mosstaas milling on the ground beside it. On the wall above them, Madansa poured her bounty from outstretched hands, but Agede and Cousin-Jack stood to either side, offering their blessings as well. Agede, unmistakably, had Warreven's face, and a herm's breasts had been sketched, crudely, on the painted chest. Tatian blinked, and saw a group of workers raise a ladder under the mosstaas' supervision. One of them began to climb, dragging a scrubber and its hose, and then the triphibian lurched forward, cutting off his view.

  "How the hell did they do that so quickly?" he said aloud, and Warreven looked at him.

  "It's easy enough to catch an image from the narrowcasts, use it to make a transfer. We used to do it for elections, things like that."

  The Haran technician glanced sideways at 3im, cleared %er throat. "Mir--serray, I mean?"

  Warreven tilted 3er head. "Æ?"

  "Will you come back?"

  Warreven smiled, the same odd smile 3e'd worn the previous night. "Yes. Will you?"

  The technician nodded, touching %er lips in automatic reverence, then blushed and looked hastily away. Warreven blinked, 3er smile changing again, becoming more human, and 3e resettled 3imself against the wall of the compartment.

  They reached the port without incident, joined the lines of people hauling their baggage from the entrances to the boarding hall. All the gates were open, and the lines stretched back into the main lobby. Tatian glanced at the overhead screens, noting the extra ships--Perseus, converted from freight to passengers by its parent company; Djinni, due in orbit by midnight, diverted from Esperanza; and half a dozen others due in over the next few days--and wondered what Warreven had had to pay to get his berth. He himself would be sleeping in a port cubicle for the next two nights, until NAPD's Polarity made orbit, but Warreven had managed to get a cabin on the Djinni.

  "So--" he began, not knowing how, or whether he wanted, to say good-bye, and a voice called from across the crowd.

  "Warreven!"

  "Malemayn." Warreven held out both hands to the approaching figure. "How's--"

  "Hal's safe," Malemayn said, almost in the same instant. "In the port hospital--Oddyny was right--and 3e'll stay there as long as needed."

  Warreven's unbandaged eye flickered closed, and Tatian heard 3im sigh deeply. "Thank the spirits."

  Malemayn nodded. "I brought what I could," he said, and set an ordinary-looking carryall on the tiles at Warreven's feet. "The mosstaas sealed your flat."

  "Tendlathe's a petty bastard sometimes," Warreven said.

  "And I thought you might enjoy this." Malemayn held out a quickprint sheet, another image of Warreven as Agede, firelit from the night before. Seeing it over 3er shoulder, Tatian had to repress a shudder, remembering what had followed. "These are all over the city."

  "Thanks." Warreven took it, folded it carefully and tucked it into a pocket. "Will you be all right?"

  Malemayn nodded. "For a while, anyway. There's going to be hell to pay, Raven, there's no way out now."

  "I know." Warreven waved 3er hand, the gesture taking in the off-worlders filling the lobby and the boarding hall. "So do they."

  "You should get in line," Tatian said. "It's going to take a while to process everybody, and you're going to have to pass the IDCA screening."

  Warreven nodded. "I-- Thank you. I owe you--not least for being the only reasonable man in Bonemarche, these last few days. I won't forget." Ȝe hesitated, and Tatian held out both hands. After everything, it felt foolish to part with a mere clasp of hands. They embraced, cautiously because of Warreven's bruises, and Tatian was startled again by the wiry strength of the body under his hands. Then Warreven released him, gave him one of 3er sudden smiles, genuinely amused this time, and turned and walked away across the lobby. Malemayn followed 3im, lifting his hand in farewell.

  Tatian watched them go, wondering what he'd seen started. It wasn't over, that much seemed obvious: Warreven's Agede, the herm Agede, had caught people's imagination, would become part of that spirit--would, in Warreven's phrase, Hara's phrase, open the door. If nothing else came of it, i
t was a beginning, and Warreven could claim that as a kind of victory, imperfect and uncertain as beginnings always were. And if in the Concord 3e could find the ways to translate the off-world concepts, the five sexes and the process of revolution, then 3e would be the person who remade Hara. Even now, he couldn't entirely doubt that 3e might do it. One studied people like that at university, discussed motives and tactics and plans; one did not drag them out of riots, or ride with them to the starport, on the way to exile. Except that, this time, he had. Tatian shook himself then. He had done what he could--what he really had no choice but to do--and he had his own consequences to face. But at least he was going back where he belonged. He lifted his heavy carrycase, thinking of Jericho, of Kaysa, of all the sane, ordinary people, and began walking toward the gates that would lead to home.

  GLOSSARY I:

  Concord Worlds

  bi: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of exactly the same and one of the two "opposite" genders.

  Big Six: the six major pharmaceutical companies that dominate the Concord Worlds' trade with Hara.

  cd, concord dollar: standard monetary unit among the Concord Worlds; circulates in tandem with planetary currencies.

  ColCom: Colonial Committee, agency that represents the Concord Worlds' interests on former colonies.

  creole: the official language of the Concord Worlds.

  demi: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of exactly the same and one of the two "like" genders.

  di: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of either of the two "opposite" genders.

  end-of-season: shorthand for surplus harvest not included in existing contracts; also the period between the end of Hara's biannual gathering cycles and the beginning of the next, not covered by contracts. Coincides with the Haran holiday periods of Midsummer and Midwinter.

  fem: human being possessing testes, XY chromosomes, some aspects of female genitalia but not possessing ovaries; %e, %er, %er, %erself.

  Fifty: generic term for the most important pharmaceutical companies that do business on Hara; analogous to the Haran use of "pharmaceuticals."

  FTL shock: collective term for the side effects of passage through jump points, which include disorientation, severe nausea, blurred vision, impaired or oversensitive hearing, diarrhea, and incapacitating headaches. Of human beings, 97% experience at least some of these symptoms for six to nine hours after passing through a jump point; of that group, 47% experience symptoms lasting 24 to 72 hours after passage.

  gay: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with others of exactly the same gender.

  hemi: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of exactly the same and both "like" genders.

  herm: human being possessing testes and ovaries and some aspects of male and female genitalia; 3e, 3er, 3im, 3imself.

  HIVs: colloquial and somewhat inaccurate term for the cluster of treatable but incurable immune-system diseases endemic to the Concord Worlds; as the viruses are genetically unstable, each planet tends to develop its own set of diseases to which its population develops a certain level of immunity over time. HIVs are generally transmitted through intimate rather than casual contact. Of all human-settled planets, only Hara does not possess a native HIV cluster, nor is its indigenous population particularly vulnerable to outside exposure. Significantly, most drugs used to treat HIVs are derived from Haran sea and land plants; however, the specific factor or factors that create the apparent planetary immunity have not yet been isolated.

  hyperlumin-A: original form of the drug used by human beings to control FTL shock. Hyperlumin-A is 99.8% effective in preventing FTL shock, but is highly mutagenic; its wide- spread use during the explosive First Wave of colonization produced a significant rise in miscarriages and in the number of so-called intersexual births (i.e., of fems, mems, and herms), and is indirectly responsible for the shape of Concord culture. Hyperlumin-A remains in use among certain specialist populations.

  hyperlumin-B: second-generation version of the drug used by human beings to control FTL shock. Hyperlumin-B is 78% effective in preventing FTL shock, and only 48% as mutagenic as hyperlumin-A.

  IDCA: Interstellar Disease Control Agency. Responsible for preventing the spread of HTVs between planetary systems, the IDCA rules on emigration/immigration issues, administers and enforces medical quarantines, and provides emergency assistance, as well as funding significant medical research.

  indigene, indigenes: native-born (indigenous) human population of a planet not a member of the Concord Worlds.

  kilohour: standard time unit of the Concord Worlds, equal to 3,600,000 seconds or one thousand (sixty minute or Earth standard) hours.

  Lesser Twenty: the "second tier" of pharmaceutical and other export companies operating on Hara.

  man: human being possessing testes, XY chromosomes, and some aspects of male genitalia; he, his, him, himself.

  mem: human being possessing ovaries, XX chromosomes, and some aspects of male genitalia but not possessing testes; þe, þis, þim, þimself.

  mu, mass units: standard unit used in calculating FTL shipping costs.

  omni: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of all genders. Considered somewhat disreputable, or at best indecisive.

  player: one who participates in trade; a person who does not con- form to any of the culturally recognized patterns of sexuality or who wishes to indulge in sexual behaviors and roles not acknowledged by Concord culture, and who is willing to pay professional or semi-professional prostitutes to take on the reciprocal role(s).

  pony-show: a one- or two-person company, generally considered to be unreliable or unethical; derogatory.

  ser, serrem, serray, serram, sera: honorifics placed before the surname to indicate the gender of the person (man, mem, herm, fem, woman), considered in Concord usage to be part of the person's full name; the generic plural is sersi.

  starcrate: a metal shell equipped with a stasis generator and/or other preservative mechanisms, used to package perishable and semi-perishable goods for interstellar transport.

  straight: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of one of the two "opposite" genders.

  trade: commercial or "specialty market" sexuality; on Hara, specifically the practice of paying indigenes of any gender for sexual favors and to assume sexual roles not usually taken by persons of that particular gender. Commercial sex is normally regulated by the IDCA, which provides medical and legal recourse for all parties, but Haran trade remains outside Concord law. In conversational usage, "trade" can also refer to the various quasi-legal markets for residence papers, travel permits, etc. that make it possible for Concord citizens to remain on Hara.

  tri: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of exactly the same and both of the "opposite" genders.

  uni: one of the nine sexual preferences generally recognized by Concord culture; denotes a person who prefers to be intimate with persons of one of the two "like" genders.

  woman: human being possessing ovaries, XX chromosomes, and some aspects of female genitalia; she, her, her, herself.

  GLOSSARY II:

  Hara

  advocate: man or woman trained in written and customary law, and certified by his or her clan as someone who has the right to speak for others before the clan and Watch courts.

  assignat, assignats: paper currency issued by one of the five Watches
and backed by that Watch's contracts with the various pharmaceuticals; each Watch currency has a slightly different rate of exchange, which varies from season to season, but in general White Watch currency is strongest against the concord dollar, then Red, Blue, Black, and finally Green.

  baanket: dinner given at Midsummer by one of the fourteen clans to which all clan members are in theory invited, the original purpose having been for the clan leader to demonstrate his power by his ability to feed all his dependents; in practice, baankets are now hosted by the wealthier mesnies, and serve to reaffirm status within the clan as well as to renew lineal ties.

  baas: informal honorific, used from an inferior to a superior who is in some sense a friend.

  babee-story: fairy tale, fable.

  bonne, bonne-faitou: female servant, usually related to her employer by clan or mesnie ties.

  caleche: an expensive, six-wheeled passenger vehicle, with separate compartments for driver(s) and passengers; used as a status symbol.

  Centennial Meeting: planetary assembly held once every one hundred years, counting from the year that settlers first landed on Hara; the Meeting stands somewhat outside the normal rule of law and custom, and at least in theory any Haran has the right to attend and address the Meeting.

  chanter: man or woman trained to sing the traditional work chaunts; still a valued and high-status position despite the increasing mechanization of labor.

  chaunt: traditional work-song used to give the cadence for repetitive physical labor (hauling lines, chopping wood, etc.).

  clan-cousin: technically, a man or woman within one's own age cohort in the shared clan who is not otherwise related; in common usage, a man or woman of one's clan to whom one feels some tie or obligation, but to whom one is not more closely related; the use of the term generally expresses a sense of affection and kinship between the people concerned.