Hopelessly Devoted to Holden Finn

by Tilly Tennant

  ‘There was nothing to tell. He was missing for two years and then he just turned up one day. We’re not back together as such, but we’re a family again as far as Paige is concerned.’

  ‘And you’re happy?’

  ‘I’m…’ Bonnie paused, searching for the right reply. ‘I’m content that it’s the right thing to do.’

  ‘That means you’re not.’

  ‘Leave it, Holden, please.’

  ‘You’d do this for Paige?’ he asked shrewdly.

  Bonnie nodded. ‘She’s my daughter. I’d do anything for her.’

  Holden gazed at her. ‘You know you’re amazing.’

  ‘That’s silly. You don’t know anything about me.’

  ‘I know enough.’

  ‘Holden… you have to forget about me.’

  ‘I can’t. ‘

  ‘You must. Because I’m with Henri now and that is not going to change.’

  ‘You want to be with him?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Holden sighed and pushed himself up. ‘If that’s really what you want, then I’ll leave you alone.’

  Bonnie’s eyes filled with tears. She felt as though she was hurting him so much, but she knew that this infatuation with her was nothing more than just that – it wasn’t love that he felt, she was certain of it – and in no time he’d have some supermodel hanging from his arm. ‘Yes, it’s what I want.’

  He traced the shape of her jaw line with a gentle finger and smiled. ‘It was fun while it lasted, eh?’

  ‘Yeah, it was in a strange sort of way,’ Bonnie laughed through her tears.

  ‘Don’t cry, Bonnie Cartwright,’ he said, wiping her cheek with his thumb. ‘I won’t press charges against your caveman in there.’

  Bonnie laughed properly now. ‘Thank you,’ she said, leaning to kiss him lightly.

  ‘Ow!’ he said again, holding his jaw, but he was grinning slightly. ‘And next time you want tickets for a gig, you make sure you call me, ok?’

  They were interrupted by a knock at the front door. Paige raced through from the kitchen to answer it. They could hear voices at the door and then two paramedics appeared at the living room door.

  Holden’s eyes widened ‘You called an ambulance?’ he asked Bonnie in a slightly panicked voice.

  ‘I told you so before,’ she replied. ‘You were unconscious; I didn’t know how badly you were injured.

  ‘You don’t need us?’ one of the paramedics asked in an irked tone.

  ‘No…’ Holden began.

  ‘Yes,’ Bonnie cut in. She turned to Holden. ‘Let them check you over.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Please, for me…’

  Holden looked up at the paramedics, clearly torn.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ the female paramedic said with a conspiratorial smile, ‘we’re bound by patient confidentiality rules.’

  ‘I don’t care. I don’t need checking over.’

  ‘We’ll decide that,’ the male paramedic replied. ‘Let us take a look.’

  ‘NO!’ Holden almost shouted.

  ‘Ok,’ Bonnie cut in. ‘Calm down. You’ve got to let them do their job.’

  Holden hesitated for a moment. ‘Ok. But not here.’

  ‘You can come with us and we can sneak you into A&E by a secret entrance,’ the female paramedic said. ‘We’ll get you treated if you need it and make a few phone calls to get you taken home.’

  ‘There are forms we have to fill in, though,’ the man added gruffly. ‘If you refuse treatment at the incident scene we don’t want to be held accountable.’

  Holden waved a hand vaguely. ‘Whatever…’

  ‘But we can sort it,’ the woman said, giving her partner a barely concealed glare.

  Holden looked at her gratefully; she clearly knew who he was and what sort of pandemonium his appearance at the hospital would cause, not to mention the embarrassment of being discovered somewhere he obviously wasn’t meant to be.

  ‘Perhaps that would be a good idea,’ he admitted. ‘Bonnie,’ he asked, ‘I don’t suppose you could phone my PA; ask her to arrange for my car to be collected?’

  ‘You left your car on this estate?’ Paige squeaked. She exchanged a look with Bonnie. Once word had got across the internet that Holden had been at their flat, the appearance of a car with a personalised number plate nearby would corroborate that fact.

  Both Bonnie and Paige seemed to realise this at the same time.

  ‘You’d better give me your keys,’ Bonnie said to Holden. ‘I’ll drive it wherever you need me to.’

  One of the paramedics pulled out a treatment case.

  ‘I said not here,’ Holden insisted, glancing at the kitchen doorway. ‘I’d rather just go straight to the ambulance.’

  The ambulance crew hesitated, looking at each other uncertainly for a moment, before the male gave a sigh of defeat.

  ‘At least let me get a wheelchair or something for you.’

  ‘No way, that would draw even more attention.’

  The man opened his mouth to argue, but then seemed to realise the futility of it. ‘I’ll go and get the paperwork from the ambulance. If we’re going ahead with this, we’d better document it properly.’

  While he was gone, Paige retrieved Holden’s hat and glasses from the hallway outside.

  ‘You’re probably going to need these.’ She handed them over with a small smile.

  ‘And you’re going to need these…’ Holden said, turning to Bonnie and handing her his car keys. ‘And thanks… you know, for everything.’

  Bonnie resisted the impulse to raise her eyebrows in surprise as she took the keys from him. Her overly possessive partner had punched him in the face and he was thanking her? Could this day get any weirder?

  ***

  Holden managed to get out of the building with surprisingly little fuss, Bonnie slipping out shortly afterwards to drive his car back to the point arranged with his PA, leaving Paige alone to explain, as best she could, to a thoroughly confused Henri what was going on. Within the hour, Holden had texted Bonnie to say he’d been treated, told there was no serious damage, and a driver was coming to collect him. She could only hope that this would be the end of the whole sorry business, and that Holden would keep his promise not to involve the police.

  When she arrived home, Bonnie was horrified to find a group of about twenty teenage girls outside their flat talking to Paige.

  ‘What’s going on here?’ Bonnie asked. The day had gone from crazy to crazier and all Bonnie wanted was for the dust to settle while she had a quiet cup of tea. And she needed to have a serious heart to heart with Henri too – he had always been volatile, but this tendency to lash out at every man who spoke to her had got a lot worse… and it had to stop.

  ‘Is it true?’ one girl asked.

  ‘Is what true?’ Bonnie said carefully.

  ‘That he was here?’

  ‘Who?’ Bonnie glanced at Paige, who was blushing furiously. ‘What’s my daughter been telling you?’

  ‘That Holden Finn has been here. That…’ the girl stopped as Paige shot her a warning glance.

  ‘Whatever Paige has told you is complete rubbish,’ Bonnie said sternly. ‘So you can all go home.’

  There was a collective groan as they all looked towards Paige, who simply shrugged and looked slightly mortified. Bonnie pushed past them and into the flat.

  Henri was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her. ‘I think you need to explain why that man was at our house with flowers.’

  ‘Didn’t Paige explain who he is?’ Bonnie said, dropping into another chair and taking her coat off.

  ‘What Paige told me doesn’t explain why he was here looking for you.’

  ‘I’m too tired for this now,’ Bonnie sighed as she pushed herself away from the table to put the kettle on.

  Henri grabbed her wrist. ‘Sit down.’

  Bonnie pulled her arm free. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’

  ‘You’re driving me
insane, that is what is wrong with me. You make me think that you want me and then you turn cold when I come near you. Strange men appear from all over the place and claim to be in love with you…’ he stared at her, suddenly making her feel chilled to the bone. ‘You are meant to be with me.’

  Bonnie snatched her coat up from the chair. ‘That all ended when you abandoned me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and talk to our daughter.’

  ***

  Bonnie found Paige in her room, lying on her bed and typing on her ipad.

  ‘Have you come to tell me off for dropping you in it?’ Paige asked, looking up as she heard Bonnie come in.

  ‘No,’ Bonnie said, sitting down next to her on the bed. ‘I’ve come to say sorry.’

  Paige sat up. ‘What for?’

  ‘I’m sorry that you had to be here when all that madness just happened.’

  ‘It’s ok, Mum. I know you couldn’t help it.’ Paige put the ipad to one side. ‘So…’ she continued, ‘what was going on?’

  ‘Me and Holden…’ Bonnie paused. How ridiculous was it going to sound when she told Paige the truth? But there was nothing else she could tell her that wouldn’t sound just as ridiculous. ‘We sort of had a thing.’

  ‘Like a dating thing?’

  ‘Kind of.’

  ‘So he liked you?’

  Bonnie nodded and Paige’s eyes widened.

  ‘And you liked him?’

  ‘I thought I did at first,’ Bonnie replied. She looked thoughtfully at Paige. Her daughter was growing up fast. Perhaps it was finally time to start treating her as an equal, to start confiding in her. She took a deep breath. ‘You see, when your dad left us, it hurt me, more than anything ever did before. And I felt like I would never love again. But then there was Holden – this perfect man that I would never have. And if I loved a perfect man I could never have, then he could never hurt me…’ she watched as Paige listened intently. ‘Does that make sense?’

  Paige nodded. ‘I suppose so. But then we went to the concert…’

  ‘Yes. And God only knows why, but Holden seemed to take a shine to me that night.’ Bonnie carefully edited the story as the memories came back to her. It was one thing treating her daughter as an equal, but some things were not to be shared with anyone else.

  ‘Did you have dates with him?’ Paige asked, her dark eyes wide.

  ‘One, sort of date.’

  ‘Just one? Why didn’t you carry on seeing him?’

  Bonnie shrugged. ‘It didn’t feel right.’

  ‘It wasn’t because Dad came back?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Was it because of Max?’

  ‘It wasn’t because of anyone. I realised that even the most perfect seeming person isn’t perfect.’

  ‘Was he horrible?’

  ‘Not horrible… just not right for me. And I wasn’t right for him either, he just couldn’t see it.’

  ‘Dad was really angry when you’d gone to take Holden’s car back.’

  Bonnie gave her a half-smile. ‘I bet he was.’ Her smile faded. ‘Are you angry with me?’

  ‘For going out with Holden Finn?’

  ‘For not telling you about it.’

  Paige grinned. Of all the reactions Bonnie had expected, this was the least likely.

  ‘You think I’m angry about it?’ Paige laughed. ‘It’s amazing! How many girls can say Holden Finn has a crush on their mum?’

  ***

  Exhausted from all the excitement, partly to escape from the continued black looks from Henri, and partly in readiness for work, Bonnie had fallen into bed at around nine and had, against all odds, slept as soon as her head hit the pillow. When the alarm had gone off at six the following morning, it felt as though she had barely climbed into her bed five minutes before.

  Yawning and shouting a last warning to Paige that she needed to get her backside out of bed if she was going to make school on time, Bonnie opened the door of the flat to leave for work.

  That’s when the flashes started. She leapt back in shock as she was confronted by a crowd of people, pointing microphones and Dictaphones at her, taking photos and filming, all shouting at once.

  ‘Bonnie… is it true that you’re seeing Holden Finn?’

  ‘Bonnie, what sort of kisser is he?’

  ‘Daily Mail here… is it true that your husband and Holden had a fight over you?’

  ‘How long have you been seeing each other?’

  ‘Are you going to get married?’

  Bonnie slammed the door shut again and leaned against it, her mind in a whirl. How the hell was she going to get to work? Outside, she could still hear frantic chatter and people calling her name.

  She took a deep breath and opened the door again. The noise doubled immediately, flashes popping and people waving in her face for attention. Bonnie held up her hands for quiet but nobody seemed to take any notice. She began to explain, struggling to make herself heard over the din. Finally, she shouted at the top of her voice.

  ‘QUIET!’

  A shocked silence fell over the gathering.

  ‘I don’t know who has given you this information,’ Bonnie began, trying not to show her nerves, ‘but it’s wrong. I’m not and never have been seeing Holden Finn.’

  She paused, waiting for them to disperse, but the din simply began again, the questions louder and more insistent this time.

  ‘Have you slept with him?’

  ‘Did you go on tour with him?’

  ‘What does the future hold for you both?’

  ‘What does your daughter think?’

  Bonnie hurried back inside and shut the door again. Sod the common sense approach, this situation called for some creative thinking.

  Bonnie paced the hallway, turning the problem over in her mind. But then a slow smile spread across her face as she pulled her phone from her handbag. With a bit of luck her neighbour, Tina, who was always game for an unusual situation, might just be up and dressed and willing to help.

  ‘Hello? Hi Tina… I’m sorry to phone you so early and this is rather a strange request but… you remember yesterday when Henri sort of got into a fight outside in the corridor? Yeah, I know… there’s a huge bunch of journalists outside our door and I need a distraction so that I can get to work. I’m sorry I can’t explain right now, but I promise to call round with a bottle of wine and fill you in later. Do you think you can spin them some sort of yarn to get them to come to your flat so I can nip out?’

  Bonnie ended the call and put an ear against the door. She could just make out the sound of Tina’s front door opening, then her call out something about cups of tea and that she knew everything there was to know about Bonnie and the man who called yesterday and before you could say gullible there was a rumble of footsteps and it sounded as though they had all gone.

  Bonnie cautiously opened the door. She looked out to see two journalists still looking uncertainly at Tina’s now closed front door. As soon as they saw Bonnie they made for her, shouting questions again.

  Two of them, Bonnie thought. Now that’s odds I can cope with. And she slammed the front door behind her and sprinted for the car, the two journalists in hot pursuit shouting questions and requests as they ran.

  ***

  The next few days were possibly the most annoying and inconvenient of Bonnie’s life. Journalists hounded her at every turn, including while she was at Applejack’s (until Fred threatened them with a sweeping brush), at Jeanie’s house (until Jeanie threatened them with a sweeping brush) and at home (making Henri wish he knew where their sweeping brush was kept and forcing him to charge at them with a butter knife instead). The only place that Bonnie seemed able to get five minutes’ peace was on the toilet, and her visits had been getting longer and longer, something which made Linda howl with laughter, just as she had when Bonnie had unfolded the whole sorry tale.

  ‘It’s not funny,’ Bonnie had snapped.

  ‘It is from where I’m standing,’ Linda replied. ‘It’s Bonnie Ca
rtwright all over – never one to do things by halves.’

  Bonnie had considered a reply, but eventually had to concede that there wasn’t one that would make things sound less ridiculous than they already were.

  Not only that, but Applejack’s had suddenly become the trendy place for teenage girls to be seen – hordes of them crowding in, buying single apples or bananas while they stared at Bonnie, and then hanging around outside to stare some more through the windows. Strangely, Fred wasn’t quite so averse to this particular nuisance, probably something to do with the healthy increase in his daily profits. The omnipresent journalists had even, at one point, congregated outside Linda’s car, and followed her to the Bounty as she went on a solo sandwich run to spare Bonnie the awkwardness of trying to get out. The tongue lashing they got from Linda made sure that it didn’t happen again – an impressive array of swearwords and derogatory names that made even the hardiest of them blush.

  It wasn’t until Holden himself released a statement denying any kind of relationship with Bonnie and explaining that he had got the impressive bruises on his face from a particularly clumsy round of golf, that things began to settle down and the interest gradually waned. Bonnie was happy to see that Holden had kept his promise not to press charges, and seemed to have given up any ideas of their having a relationship. But he had sent a text to thank her for her discretion, to say that he would never forget her, and hoped they could remain friends. This made her smile. At least someone other than Henri cared about her, because Max’s lack of texts over that week, considering that she was a high-profile woman named in the middle of a strange and messy love triangle, suggested that he had moved on. Either that or he was so disgusted by her behaviour that he couldn’t bring himself to contact her. Whatever his reasons, it looked like the end of the road for them.

  On the other hand, Jeanie and Paige had both been so impressed by the idea of Bonnie dating a famous musician (no matter how many times Bonnie wearily reminded them that she hadn’t actually dated him at all) that they both secretly enjoyed the inconvenient press intrusion, and were almost disappointed when it stopped.