Mega Post-Apocalyptic Double Bill

by Mark Gillespie

  It was a grand sight, especially in comparison to her meager living quarters back in the run-down Fitzpatrick. This was something else altogether – a three-bedroom, three-bath den of luxury that looked as if it had bypassed both the war and the wild years and remained blissfully trapped in the world before. There was a foyer, a living room with a large fireplace, kitchen, dining room and a master marble bathroom that was impeccably clean.

  “This is incredible,” Eda said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  She peered into the main bedroom – there was a massive king’s size bed tucked into the far corner with fresh, cream-colored sheets that didn’t have a wrinkle on them. Blue drapes hung from a large window beside the bed. The walls and ceiling were pale and spotless. This was Helen’s bedroom and Eda was well aware that it was here that the grinning man and all the others discovered that the curse was real. That thought alone was enough to make Eda turn around and step back into the hallway.

  “Where’s Helen?” she said, turning towards Shay who was standing in the hallway with the other two women. “Is she out exercising?”

  “Come back into the living room,” Shay said. “We’ll sit down and talk.”

  Eda felt a growing sense of unease stirring inside her. She followed Shay down the hallway and into a large room with a cream-colored couch with three fat cushions propped up on the backrest.

  “Sit down,” Shay said. “Please.”

  Eda didn’t like the tone of Shay’s voice. It was too formal, too polite.

  At Shay’s request, Linda and Lex left the room. They walked towards the kitchen, their long, lingering silence going with them like a shadow.

  The dog lay down on a flowery rug near the couch. He was soaking wet, his paws and legs especially, but Shay didn’t seem to care. Eda could only imagine what Mia would think if she could see the dog now, lying in the lap of luxury in the Waldorf Astoria.

  The old bitch’s head would explode.

  “What’s going on Shay?” Eda said. “Why did you bring me here?”

  The older woman sighed.

  “She’s gone,” Shay said.

  Eda frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “Helen’s gone.”

  “Gone?” Eda said. “I don’t understand. Gone where?”

  Shay walked over and sat down on the couch beside Eda.

  “She ran away,” she said. “She was out in the park exercising with Lex and some of the warriors yesterday morning. She told them she had to pee and she went somewhere private. It’s happened before many times only this time she didn’t come back. And despite our best efforts we couldn’t find her. God knows we’ve tried but it’s obvious by now that she doesn’t want to be found. New York is big and empty – it’s an easy place to get lost in.”

  Eda leaned back in the couch. Now she knew why they’d brought her to the Waldorf.

  “I didn’t see her while I was out there,” she said. “You’re right, it’s empty out there. I didn’t see anyone apart from the dog.”

  “I know,” Shay said. “I’m sure you would have told me by now if you’d seen a young woman on your travels.”

  Eda bit down on her lip. She nodded slowly.

  “So why do you think she did it?” Eda asked. “Why would she just up and run away like that?”

  “It’s hard to know what’s going on inside another person’s head,” Shay said. “Helen was her usual cheerful self yesterday morning. There were no signs that she was planning to run away, at least not on the surface. To tell you the truth, I’m not angry with her – it’s hard to blame her after everything she’s been through.”

  Eda nodded in agreement.

  “Do you want me to go look for her?” she asked. “I know the city well enough and I can try and tap into her mindset. Try and figure out where she’d go.”

  She didn’t say it out loud but with the dog at her side, a one-woman search party sounded like quite the adventure. It was even better than being on lookout.

  Shay shook her head. “No,” she said. “That won’t be necessary.”

  Eda shrugged and felt a surge of disappointment shoot through her.

  “Then I’m not sure how I can help,” she said. “I definitely didn’t see anyone out there – no one at all, let alone the most beautiful woman in the world.”

  Shay smiled. She was staring at Eda, nodding slowly as if listening to some silent broadcast in the back of her mind.

  “Eda,” Shay said. “Have you still got all those books hidden away in the Fitzpatrick? Do you still read much?”

  “Mostly,” Eda said.

  “History,” Shay said. “That’s what you like reading isn’t it?”

  “I guess.”

  Shay let out a long, whistling sigh. She looked around the living room with a sad smile.

  “I wish some of the other women would take a leaf out of your book,” she said. “If we don’t learn from the past, how can we ever expect to build a better future?”

  “I like reading,” Eda said.

  “And you gain so much from it,” Shay said. “Reading not only expands your mind but it allows you to zoom out, to see the bigger picture from afar. And that’s so important. In that sense, it offers clarity. And when we have clarity, when we’ve put enough distance between ourselves and any historical event, we always see that throughout human history, individual sacrifice, no matter how hard it might appear, has contributed towards the greater good of humankind. Indeed, humankind might have been lost without the noble sacrifice of the few.”

  Eda could hear a chorus of alarm bells ringing in her head.

  “What’s going on Shay?” she said.

  There was a long pause.

  “We have a vacancy to fill,” Shay said. “I want you to become the new Helen of Troy.”

  Eda felt the room spinning around her. Even though she was sitting down, she grabbed a hold of the arm of the couch to stop herself from tipping over.

  “Helen of Troy?” she said. “Me? Are you serious Shay?”

  “Of course I’m serious,” Shay said. “Do you think I’d bring you all the way up here if I wasn’t?”

  “But me?” Eda said, leaping to her feet. She began to pace back and forth across the room. “I’m not beautiful like Helen of Troy. Isn’t that why men come here? To be with the most beautiful woman in the world?”

  Her hands were shaking.

  Shay stood up. “You have no idea how attractive you are to men because you haven’t been around them enough,” she said. “I know what men like and they’ll like you. And besides your natural beauty, we have people, we have the tools, the skills to make you even more appealing.”

  “I don’t want this,” Eda said. “No way. I can’t do it.”

  Shay stepped forward and took Eda’s hand in her own. Then she led the younger woman back to the couch and they sat down.

  “It’s not as frightening as it might seem at first,” Shay said. “In fact, it’s rather exciting when you think about it. It’s like an adventure.”

  Eda shook her head. “No.”

  “Of course it is,” Shay said. “You’ll live here in this suite like a queen. You’ll never have to work or fight – you’ll be taken good care of by all the other women who live in the hotel, whose sole purpose it is to look after you. You’ll be given time outside to exercise every single day. Whatever you want you can have it. We’ll bring all your books over from the Fitzpatrick and anything else you want us to collect. The dog can stay here with you too. You’ll have to give him a name. Any ideas?”

  Naming the dog was the last thing on Eda’s mind.

  “But I don’t want to stay here,” she said. “I…I like being the lookout – I’m good at it and it’s an important job.”

  “It’s not as important as being Helen of Troy,” Shay said. “There isn’t a position in the Complex that’s more important than that.”

  Eda ran a hand through her long brown hair. It was still damp.

  “But
what would people say even if I did it?” she asked. “They’ll notice that I’m gone.”

  “We’ll make up a story,” Shay said. “Now I don’t mean this to sound cruel but no one out there in the Complex really needs Eda. Do you understand? Very few people in our community are irreplaceable in fact. And yet every single one of us needs Helen. We can’t hope to tempt men back to New York unless Helen of Troy is here waiting for them.”

  “Men.” Eda said. Her eyes drifted off into empty space. Sitting in that apartment, it felt like she was trapped inside a coffin, desperately trying to claw her way through the lid and back to the surface.

  She couldn’t breathe.

  “Men…”

  “Yes,” Shay said. “Men.”

  “If I’m Helen of Troy,” Eda said, “That means I’ll have to…”

  “Have intercourse?” Shay said. “Yes of course, that’s what Helen does.”

  Eda looked at Shay. There it was – that blank, stoic expression on the older woman’s face. Duty – that was all that mattered to Shay. Of course it was easy for her to be so cavalier about it because it wasn’t her body that was up for grabs.

  “I’ve never done it before,” Eda said in a quiet voice. “Never.”

  “It was the same with Helen,” Shay said. “Most of the younger women in the Complex haven’t done it either and as for the older ones, they – we – haven’t done it in a very long time. The urge just isn’t there anymore. It’s part of the curse.”

  “Shay,” Eda said.

  “Yes?”

  “Do I have a choice here?”

  Shay budged over on the couch and put an arm around Eda’s shoulder. Eda felt her insides go rigid at the touch.

  “I can’t order you to do anything,” Shay said. “I won’t order you either. You’re old enough to make up your own mind and of course, we’d never force anyone into taking on such an important task. It takes a special type of woman to do this. And if there’s a special man out there who can defy the curse, with any luck Helen of Troy will become a mother – she’ll give birth to the first child that’s been born in our world for a very long time. How incredible. Don’t you think?”

  “A mother?” Eda said.

  Shay stroked Eda’s damp hair, gently twirling it back and forth in her fingers like an affectionate parent with a child.

  “Everybody wants to be special,” Shay said. “Just like the people in your history books Eda. You can be one of those people. You’ll become a key figure in the story of human reconstruction. And who knows? Maybe someday when the new civilization is up and running we’ll start writing books again. And if so, who else but the great mother of our postwar society will appear on page one of the new history books?”

  Shay gently rocked back and forth with Eda in her arms, like she was trying to lull the young woman to sleep.

  “Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” she said.

  8

  Eda was grateful when they finally brought her books over to the Waldorf.

  Seeing the women carry those boxes into the apartment, it felt like old friends arriving. At least with her books lying around the place, the glossy interior of the Presidential Suite would bear some resemblance to the sloppier bliss that Eda had known in the Fitzpatrick.

  In her early days as Helen, Eda would sit around the suite in loose comfortable sportswear – baggy pants, old Nike t-shirts and sweaters that felt soft and brand new. She could wear whatever she wanted, as long as there were no men in town.

  She went out early in the mornings with Lex and two of the other warriors for daily exercise. These workouts consisted mostly of light jogging and some aerobics in an area of Central Park that was kept tidy so it could be used as a private gym. There were yoga exercises too, performed on mats, which apparently helped to reduce stress and aid fertility.

  Along with sticking to an exercise regime, Eda had to commit to Linda’s nutritional plan. Unlike the early starts with Lex in the park, this part of Eda’s new life was easy and even welcome. Linda was a wizard in the kitchen, using the crops provided by the gardeners – the finest of which were sent to the Waldorf – to create a variety of delicious meals. There were lots of hearty vegetable stews, as well as lavish, bulky salads and soups. With all the exercise and good food, Eda had never felt better, at least physically.

  The rest of it was hell. There was even a woman who’d once been a nurse who showed up daily to chart Eda’s body temperature – fertility awareness it was called. They had to know, as precisely as possible, when Eda was capable of conceiving a baby. It was invasive to say the least and Eda dreaded the sound of the nurse’s voice in the apartment every day, calling out to her in that cheerful tone, like baby planning and all that crap was the best thing ever.

  Most of all, Eda dreaded someone telling her that a man was in town. That was the big concern and it followed her around all day and night. On more than one occasion, she found herself wishing that America was already empty – that all the human males had died off and that was it, the end of people.

  It was better than thinking about having sex with one of them. Better than thinking about seeing the curse in action.

  “What if they’re all gone?” Eda asked, sitting at the dining table with Linda one morning. She was pushing her fork around a breakfast salad bowl while rays of sunlight poured into the room through the large, open windows. It was, so far at least, one of those rare sunny days that occasionally found its way to Manhattan like a long lost friend returning for a brief visit.

  “It’s possible though isn’t it?” Eda said. “That the men are gone.”

  Linda smiled but Eda saw through it right away. It was obvious that the chef didn’t believe for one second that America had run out of men.

  Neither did Eda.

  “It’s a possibility,” Linda said. “Anything’s possible I guess. We can’t know for sure but if they’re out there the ambassadors will find them sooner or later.”

  “How long since the grinning man showed up?” Eda asked. “And the bandits?”

  “Been a few weeks I think,” Linda said. “I’m not so good at counting the days anymore honey.”

  Eda nodded. “I hope the ambassadors don’t find anything,” she said, dropping her fork into a mound of green leafy vegetables. She looked up and felt her face turning bright red. It was the most honest thing she’d said since moving into the Waldorf. But it was perhaps a little too honest.

  “I’m sorry,” Eda said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Linda’s face was expressionless.

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted the ambassadors dead,” she said. “Just between the two of us sweetie, if I was in your shoes, I’d probably be thinking the same things you are. You’d have to be crazy otherwise. The grinning man was a first class asshole and there’s been plenty more arrogant sons of bitches like him. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to go to bed with any of them.”

  Eda fell back into the stiff wooden chair. She closed her eyes and sighed.

  “Every time I hear footsteps in the corridor,” she said, “I think I’m going to be sick or pass out or something.”

  As she spoke, a large German Shepherd appeared at Eda’s side. Its black nose trembled as it sniffed towards the food on the table.

  Eda held up a finger.

  “No more food for you Frankie Boy,” she said. “You’ll get fat living the soft life everyday.”

  “I didn’t know you’d given him a name,” Linda said, reaching down and giving Frankie Boy a pat on the back.

  “Well I couldn’t keep calling him dog forever,” Eda said, wiping a little crust out of the dog’s brown eyes.

  “Handsome boy,” Linda said. “Look at this gorgeous clean coat. Looks like you’ve had a bath or two.”

  “I think he kind of likes getting in the bath,” Eda said. “Or maybe he just misses being out in the rain all the time.”

  “Yeah,” Linda said. Her face took on a serious look. “Just remember Eda, he’
s taken to you well and all that but…”

  “But what?”

  “Well,” Linda said, shrugging almost as if she was embarrassed. “Remember he’s a wild animal at heart. He might act tame but he’s a big boy – he could do some real damage to a person if he wanted to.”

  “That’s why I like him,” Eda said.

  Linda laughed. “He goes out for walks right?”

  Eda nodded. “Lucia takes him out twice a day,” she said. “I’ve asked to do it myself but Shay won’t let me, even thought she told me I’m not a prisoner here.”

  “Shay’s a good woman,” Linda said, gathering up some of the empty dishes in the middle of the table. “She’s just looking out for you but also for the other women in the Complex. Those women can’t see you – they think you’re gone.”

  Eda nodded. “I never asked this before but…”

  “Spit it out honey,” Linda said.

  “Well,” Eda said. “It’s been a few weeks since I got here, right?”

  “Sure has,” Linda said.

  “I was just wondering,” Eda said. “What did Shay tell the rest of the women about me?”

  Linda’s fingers danced across the table like she was playing fast piano. The chef tended to get fidgety when she hadn’t had a smoke for a while. And for Linda, an hour was certainly a while. After breakfast, she’d no doubt head downstairs and outside onto the street for some cigarette and quiet time. It was a long way to go, especially with crappy lungs, but Linda was a committed smoker. The old world vices died hard for some.

  “I’m surprised you haven’t asked anyone that yet,” Linda said. “I’d be dying to know what Shay said about me if I went missing.”

  Eda shrugged. “Shay always looks so busy,” she said. “I didn’t want to bother her and I wasn’t sure that Lucia would even know because she doesn’t spend much time over at the station. So I thought I’d try asking you instead, when the time was right.”

  “Guess it’s only fair you should know,” Linda said.

  “Well?” Eda said.

  “Well we had a gathering inside Grand Central about a week after your disappearance,” Linda said. “Shay stood up and gave a pretty good speech – I’m telling you, that woman could have won an Oscar if she’d gone into acting before the war. Hollywood Shay – she almost convinced me. She pretty much told the women that you’d taken off overnight. That you’d just upped and ran away. No one looked that surprised to be honest. You’re still young Eda. They figured you’d gotten bored hanging around with all us oldies. A lot of the younger ones have run away from the Complex before so it wasn’t exactly a major shock. It’s just something that happens.”