On Luna Time

by Amber Crawley

  “This is my first time visiting,” I spat out, faster than I intended.

  “Visiting family?” Louise asked, like an interrogation. Her voice was almost as southern and old timey as the others, but not quite. I would have liked the way it sounded if she hadn’t been so intimidating.

  My mind raced for an excuse for the large sum of cash in my bag and for why I was there. I knew at that moment that I couldn’t tell anyone anything about me. I believed in Luna’s Law, and I wouldn’t risk breaking it.

  “I’m… here to buy a house for my Grandma. She likes to spend her summers here, but she doesn’t like house hunting,” I answered.

  “Who is your Grandmother? Maybe that’s how I know you.” she said. She had a set jaw and was standing steady.

  “You wouldn’t know her.”

  Wren opened the door wildly, looking toward the couch. He let out a relieved sigh at the sight of me sitting up. With one hand, he flattened his slicked back hair, grabbing it slightly as he caught his breath. “I hope you like Cheerwine?”

  I nodded. I preferred Coke, but I wasn’t feeling picky. He pulled the burgundy filled glass soda bottle out of his pocket, and Louise took it from him.

  “When is the last time you ate?” She asked, twisting the cap off the bottle. Wren looked at me with anxious eyes.

  “Last night.”

  “Warren, could you manage running another errand?” Louise asked, instructing him to run and get enough food to fill me up. With her raised eyebrows speaking for her, she handed me the soda and instructed me to drink it.

  “You bet,” he said, clapping and running back toward the door. “Any requests?”

  “I’ll just come with you,” I said, looking to Wren for help to make my escape.

  Louise stopped me without rushing, each confident stride more firm that the last. “Vanessa needs to rest Warren, you go on now.” He nodded as if he’d been given a mission and exited the shop. She reached past my head and turned the open sign to closed, pointing for me to go back to my seat.

  My nose let out heavy puffs of air as I plopped back down watching as Wren left me alone for the second time. I tightened my hands around the glass bottle until they were sweating.

  “Warren mentioned you lost your luggage?” Louise asked, walking over to a rack of dresses. Her hands stayed behind her back and her posture stayed tall. She looked me up and down, landing at my feet.

  “You know it’s after labor day.” She said. I looked down at the white shoes on my feet remembering the southern, no white after labor day, rule. “Come over here.”

  I didn’t want to listen to her but disobeying didn’t seem like a good option.

  The dresses were sorted by sizes, not by color. We stood in front of the size 10 rack, which was the smallest number in the shop. The dresses looked much smaller than any size 10 I’d ever seen. I immediately reached out for a yellow dress with white stripes in the same style I was wearing and walked over to the mirror to see how I liked it.

  Louise followed me over. Each of us looked hard at the other’s reflection.

  “What is your Grandmother’s name?” she asked.

  “Jo,” I said, like I was taking a lie detector test and had no choice but to speak the truth. I silently cursed myself for saying the name I had just remembered aloud.

  She closed her focus in tight on my reflection. “Jo?”

  I had no idea what her actual name was, but I stuttered out, “Josephine, actually. Jo for short.”

  She turned to face me directly, but I continued to look at myself in the mirror.

  “I’ll take this one,” I said in as kind of a tone as I could muster, an attempt to sidetrack her thoughts.

  “Yellow isn’t your color. Why don’t you try a darker shade?” She suggested, turning hard back to the clothing rack. She held up a burgundy that I knew would have looked good on me.

  I shook my head and began to slide the dresses past one by one searching for something sunny that would match the weather I had plans to be, even if it didn’t compliment my skin tone.

  “You know there’s another full moon tonight.” Louise said, making me freeze.

  I looked up at her with crinkled eyes. She grinned sourly with her lips closed, “I love astronomy.”

  “That’s nice,” I said gulping. I had to get out of her prison cell. “I forgot that my money is in the truck.” I hurried toward the door relieved to see Wren walking back over.

  “There’s Wren… I mean Warren. I’d hate for the food to get cold.”

  I opened the door, feeling the warm salty breeze welcome me, the only thing that was truly the same from before I jumped.

  “Vanessa?” she called out, making my eyes run back to hers. “Be sure to spend your time here wisely.”

  My throat dropped to my feet as I nodded and exited Midnight.

  Eight

  n

  June 14th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  My name is Louise Marshall. I have read through this book many times while visiting the lighthouse. However, this is my first time getting to write in it and travel myself.

  I’ve traveled from 1932, the day of my 18th birthday. I have waited twelve years for this, ever since my mother told me of Luna Time. I have watched Marshall women come and go ever since. I’m planning to make every minute of my time count and document thoroughly.

  I did not enjoy jumping off the bridge. I love the ocean, but I do not love fish or saltwater in my nose. Not being able to breathe or stand on two feet are not things I embrace often, I barely know how to keep my head above water. I am not looking forward to repeating any of those feelings during my return.

  Louise

  June 15th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  I have purchased two dresses and one pair of shoes. I will sleep in my underwear. I didn’t come with a lot of money, and I don’t want to waste it all on clothes.

  Afterward, I went straight to Grandmother Elizabeth’s house to see my mother Vera Ann. Grandmother wouldn’t let me see her or talk to her, but I saw her sitting in the window reading. She is 17 and equally as beautiful as she was yesterday. I want nothing more than to spend all of my time here with her.

  I didn’t dare point out to Grandmother that staying away from family isn’t one of the laws.

  Louise

  June 17th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  I can’t bring myself to refer to Vera Ann as my “mother” not even to you. She’s amazing. I always knew it, I just didn’t realize how stunning she was at such a young age.

  Knowing that the only way I was going to get near her was when she was on her own, I followed her. I pretended to bump into her while she was walking down Main Street.

  Vera Ann thinks it’s funny how alike we look. We walked up and down the inlets until the sun set over the sound. I made her promise not to tell her mother about meeting me. She didn’t ask why she only said, “I tell my mother as little as possible.” I’m not sure why, but that surprised me.

  Louise

  June 20th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Vera Ann and I have been walking the inlets each day. The water is calm, and if you stay late enough, the sunset paints the sky in a way that makes your heart break from its beauty. I nearly told her who I was when she announced which inlet spot was her favorite.

  We were sitting in the spot where our home will someday sit. The spot we’ve sat together hundreds of nights back home watching the same sun fade away until the sky is dark and Luna shines. The same spot we were sitting in when she told me about Luna Time. The same spot we’ll sit when I jump back where we’ll reminisce about the time we spent together in 1908.

  Louise

  Louise’s thoughts were far from the hard exterior she wore in person. I reread each line before moving onto the next one. As I soaked up Louise’s handwritten words, jealousy absorbed into me. I wished I had jumped into the year Gina was 17.

/>   June 21st, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Vera Ann invited me to go to a carnival with her. She said she’s been saving her coins all winter especially for it. I’m going to cash in one of my dollars for change so I have enough to do whatever she does.

  Louise

  June 24th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Where do I begin?

  The carnival was amazing. We made bets on the bike races, ate white cotton candy and banana splits, then rode the ferris wheel which stopped with us at the very top.

  My favorite part was the Man in the Moon photo booth. Vera Ann has been talking about doing this all week. I’ve seen the same type of paper moon photos from where I’m from, but I’ve never taken one myself until tonight. We each paid for two, 5 cents each. We took one by ourselves and two together, so we could each have one to keep forever. A group of boys tried to get our attention during our photo session, but Vera Ann yelled, “We’re already taken boneheads.” Then whispered to me, “You’re too pretty for them.”

  A lot of kids our age came up to talk to her, and most of them were curious about me. Vera Ann locked her elbow with mine and claimed we had been friends all our lives. Little does she know.

  Louise

  June 30th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  It’s Vera Ann’s 18th birthday in three days, but she hasn’t mentioned it. I know because I’ve spent my whole life celebrating it, every July 2nd. I’m hoping to sneak it out of her, so I don’t have to keep pretending I don’t know.

  I’m dying to know if she’s planning to travel at the same time I do. Luna Time tradition is to travel on the closest full moon to your 18th birthday, so I’m sure she’s already got a plan. I want to talk to her about it, but I don’t know how to bring it up. I want to tell her who I am. I want her to love me now as her friend and later as her child.

  Louise

  Luna Time tradition. Gina’s letter crashed into Louise’s words like literal thunder in my brain. Please know that I had every intention of keeping this secret from you - but I feel that this is the only way. Words tumbled out of my mouth as I asked myself the questions that begged to be answered. I paced around my motel room holding the journal close wishing it could talk back.

  “Why didn’t Gina want me to know the family secret?

  Probably because I’m barely a Marshall. She didn’t even want me.

  Then why in the hell did she send me? Is she here?

  Doubtful.

  Why was it the only way?

  What am I doing here?”

  July 2nd, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Today is Vera Ann’s birthday. She’s invited me to her house for dinner and said her mom is making a special fruit cake with frosting and candles. She seems very excited to introduce me to her family. I’m scared. I haven’t met my Grandfather or uncle yet and I haven’t seen Grandmother since my first day.

  Louise

  It went great! Either Grandmother isn’t angry, or she’s a great actress. My Grandfather is a quiet man, which I suppose he has to be to make up for Grandmother’s constant chatter. My Uncle Otto is twelve and is just as serious as he is in modern day, but I like his smart way of talking.

  July 3rd, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  I’m supposed to meet Vera Ann later at our inlet. If I can find the courage, I’m going to tell her who I am. I still have twelve days here and I can’t wait any longer.

  Louise

  I told her and it didn’t go well. Grandmother clearly hasn’t told her about Luna. She thinks I’m crazy and made an excuse to leave. I’m scared of what’s going to happen. I’m scared that I just ruined everything. I’m scared I haven’t spent my time wisely, but selfishly.

  Louise telling me to spend your time wisely and there’s another full moon tonight echoed inside. Her motive behind the suggestion frightened every inch of me. Louise wanted me gone, Gina hadn’t wanted me to know but had sent me with a to-do list.

  The motel room clock read 7:14. I had plenty of time to make it back to the lighthouse and pier before midnight. I began to stuff everything strewn across the bed back into my backpack. Ever since Wren had dropped me off, I’d looked forward to enjoying the quiet of the motel room I had rented and sleeping in without the fear of being caught.

  A ache filled my stomach at the thought of Wren, I couldn’t pinpoint a single moment in my life where another person had selflessly helped me. I sat on the unmade bed holding the journals in my hand. I had enough time to keep reading.

  July 4th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  There’s a parade in Port Swan today, the same parade I go to every year. The same parade I’ve been a part of for the past six years. The same parade I’m missing with my friends back home. The Davenport family lives next door to the lighthouse and have become close friends of mine. We often chat while we stroll the beach, luckily they haven’t once asked where I live. They offered to give me a buggy ride to the parade if I was around, which I plan to be. I couldn’t turn them down when it’s been as hot as it is. I hope I run into Vera Ann.

  Louise

  July 5th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Grandmother told Vera Ann the secret, one week before the full moon. Now I know why I learned the secret at such a young age. Eight days is not enough time to swallow this kind of information.

  Try less than 24 hours.

  During the fireworks she found me, and through the many blasts of color, she apologized profusely and begged me to tell her everything I know. She followed me back to the lighthouse, and I showed her around. She spent the night with me here. We talked late into the night, sitting on top of the lighthouse looking out at the island we call home as your nearly full light lit the star filled sky. The ocean on one side the sound on the other. The sight of the pier, a vivid line jutting out into the sea. The same pier we will both be jumping off of one week from today. I’m not as scared as I once was. I’m ready.

  Louise

  July 10th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Three days to go. We’ve been spending our time at our inlet talking while we walk and dreaming of what’s to come. We carved Luna into a piece of driftwood and staked it into the ground near Main Street by our inlet. This piece of earth belongs to us now and it belongs to every Marshall woman that will come after us.

  Vera Ann is going to jump first because she said that’s what a good mother would do. I wish I could stay with her forever, but if I did I would run the risk of never being born.

  Louise

  Luna Road. I swallowed hard rereading Louise’s words. Every Marshall woman that will come after us. Gina sent me to find Luna Road for a reason, and I wanted to know what that reason was. I unzipped my backpack and dumped everything back out of it. I may not have been raised by a Marshall, but Marshall blood ran through me. I wasn’t going to jump again until October’s full moon graced the sky.

  July 13th, 1908

  Dear Luna,

  Thank you for bringing me here, my life will never be the same.

  Louise

  Nine

  n

  It had been three days since I’d arrived, and I’d seen Wren every one of those days. I always called him Wren, and he always called me Nessa. Each night we ate at Black Swan, the only place to eat in town. We read quietly while we chewed and afterward talked about things that didn’t matter while we sipped Cheerwine floats. The black cherry flavored soda poured over vanilla ice-cream was magic and its sweet aftertaste reminded me of Wren long after he dropped me back at the motel.

  I’d made clothing purchases from every shop except Midnight as I learned how to fit in, in 1949. I marveled in living a life of my own for the first time ever, in no rush to venture outside of downtown in search of Luna Road.

  On the dock that belonged to the Seashell Inn, I sat reading through the journals wearing one of my eight, new yellow dresses. The edges of the journal
flapped in the wind as I held it open to Louise’s entry. I’d read it through no less than twenty times in an attempt to find the person behind the words on the page.

  I hadn’t allowed myself to read Gina’s Luna Time story, but I used her pink envelope as a bookmark to hold the spot where I knew her words were written. I was waiting for the right moment, when I was ready to accept the fact that she wasn’t there. I flipped open the crinkled, blue lined pages to the pink envelope to cross out the only item I’d conquered.

  1. Find a place to call home.

  2. Paint my life.

  3. Live like the weather.

  4. Buy a yellow dress.

  5. Refill the basket with food.

  6. Visit the vineyard.

  7. Look for the house on Luna Road.

  8. Read the journals.

  9. Find Gina.

  10.

  The honk of a horn startled me to standing. Wren was hanging out of his truck window, waving me over. I walked down the wooden dock holding the composition notebook with a death grip. My ponytail was blowing wild against my back as I walked down the short path over the dark salty water of the sound.

  “How about you come hang out with me today?” He called out once I reached the parking lot. His hair was slicked over to the side with more grease in it than usual, and he wasn’t wearing a tie.

  I hadn’t been back to the lighthouse since I’d arrived, and I wasn’t sure being there was where I wanted to be. There was so much history in those walls that I needed to read about. I glanced over at the dock wishing I could dive back in to analyzing Louise’s every word.

  “If you want,” he added in response to my silence. His southern voice smothered in genuine kindness was almost irresistible. I moved my eyes to his letting his smooth tanned face woo me with it’s vintage appeal. With one eyebrow raised he moved himself a little further out the window as if to tell me a secret. “Rosemary already left for the day.”