Beloved LifeMate: Song of the Sídhí #1

by Cooper, Jodie B.

  “Let go,” I said, pushing at his chest. Pain throbbed through my jaw at the movement and my words came-out in a slur. Stupid idiot. That's what I got for talking with a broken jaw.

  I pushed again, trying to pull out of his embrace, but my body ached in protest, sending sharp little pains through me.

  He loosened his hold and my feet brushed the floor. Pain shot-up through my hips. I whimpered. I hurt all over. How many bones had I broken when I fell out of the sky?

  His arms tightened around me and I cried-out in pain.

  I heard his teeth click together and he hissed an apology. “Sorry.”

  His arms loosened a bit, but still held me prisoner against him. It surprised me his hold was so gentle. Why would he cradle me against him with such care?

  It sounded exactly like something one of the devious elves would do. Yeah, no doubt, he would convince me he wanted me then throw me in a dungeon. Elves had a wacky sense of humor.

  He shifted me in his arms, his words coming soft as he brushed his head near mine. “It’s going to hurt, but I’m going to pick you up and put you back in bed.”

  “Why bother?” I ground-out between my aching jaws. My energy was dropping and my head slumped. My tender jaw brushed against something cold and hard. A sharp pain of grief shot up into my temples. “Forget bed, just get it over with.” And throw me in the dungeon where you plan on putting me, I mentally added.

  I shuddered at the grief crushing my chest. None of it made any sense. Why was he being so nice? I was quite aware of the silver collar locked around my neck. I was his prisoner, nothing more.

  “The healer was only able to heal the worst of your injuries. You’re too young for a complete healing. You need bed rest until your synth crystal can heal you.” He stopped speaking and I felt a feather light touch against the crown of my head.

  I held my breathe; speechless didn't cover how I felt. Did he caress me? I must have lost my mind if I thought that. I was a prisoner. The silver collar around my neck proved that without a shadow of doubt.

  “I’ll heal with silver on?” I asked.

  Every time I spoke, my jaw brushed the thick collar. I tried raising my head higher, but I couldn’t manage the movement. I sighed with frustration, maybe I should just shut up. He wasn’t actually answering my questions.

  “Would you stop talking?” he demanded in a harsh voice that sounded angrier by the minute

  I stiffened and tried pulling away even though I knew I couldn't stand on my own.

  “If you must speak, then do so mentally. The healer said you broke your jaw and several other bones,” he said, his anger was still present, but he also sounded frustrated.

  “You mean, you broke my jaw,” I said amid a growl. I whimpered when the growl made my chest vibrate. I added busted ribs to my list of injuries.

  “Yes,” he agreed quietly.

  He slipped his arms under my legs and I tensed. I feared I had pushed him too far. Yeah, me and my big mouth I would end up smashed against the wall again or become the sharp-toothed monster’s next meal. The pain of knowing my supposed lifeMate was about to hurt me was nearly more than I could handle. Even knowing how much he hated me and how bad he had hurt me, I still wanted him to love me.

  He lifted me into his arms.

  The movement made me moan in pain.

  He stopped. My head slid against his shoulder. I felt and heard him take a deep shuddering breath. “Tell me when the pain eases.”

  “What does it matter if I'm in pain or not, when you plan to smash me against the wall again?” I asked. Whatever he planned, I just wanted him to get it over. The waiting was nearly worse than the pain. I didn’t give him time to answer before I sarcastically asked, “Or have you decided to give me back to the monster to finish eating?”

  I felt my entire body shudder and I realized it wasn’t me that moved. I blinked in consternation at the movement realizing my brain was not functioning as well as I thought it had been.

  He turned from the bed and quickly walked toward the balcony. At the swift move, I groaned in pain. When I got a good look at how high the balcony was from the ground, it changed from pain to fear. The closer he walked to the open floor-to-ceiling doors, the greater my terror became. We were on the top of a bloody mountain!

  How many times had my big mouth caused me to sit for hours in the detention hall? The fact that I was the Chi’Kehra’s sister made the punishments even worse. Everyone was constantly at me, telling me I needed to be a better role model.

  Why couldn’t I learn to keep my wretched mouth shut?

  “I swear I’ll shut up. Please, don’t throw me off the balcony,” I begged him.

  He jerked to a halt and angrily snapped, “You are my lifeMate!”

  “I know,” I said in a soft pain-filled voice, muffled against his chest.

  Tears began streaming down my face. I couldn’t help it. It hurt knowing how much he hated me – a halfling abomination - for being his lifeMate.

  “I’m sorry, so sorry. I know I've ruined your life. I even understand why you hate me,” I whispered in his mind. The agony I felt over his hatred came through my voice. I sobbed against his chest; pain sliced through me at the movement. I groaned and sobbed again. I couldn’t seem to quit. “Please, just don't throw me off the balcony. Can't you make it quick, like behead me with your sword or something?”

  I heard him mutter something and he quickly moved to a big sofa. He lifted me up higher in his arms; his movements seemed gentle. I couldn’t figure out why he bothered. He slowly sat down with me leaning back into the soft cushions he cradled me in his arms.

  “Stop crying,” he said gruffly.

  “Stop being so blasted bossy,” I snapped back. “If you’re tired of my crying, then why don’t you just kill me and get it over with! I know that’s what you plan. The waiting is killing me.” I shifted, whimpering in pain, “It hurts!”

  “I don’t hate you, you’re my lifeMate,” he said softly, warmth filled his voice.

  I closed my eyes against the pain in my heart as he gently caressed my cheek.

  Why was he doing this to me? Was he punishing me for something I couldn’t change? I could only think of one reason.

  “Yeah, right, you don’t hate me. You just detest that I’m a halfling so you accidentally left me in a bloody heap on the floor so the monster wouldn’t make any more of a mess while it ate me.” I growled deep in my chest. It hurt, but I didn't care. “That's twice you said I’m your lifeMate, but you can’t decide whether to kill me or keep as a bloody prisoner, can you?” I asked in a mental snarl. His rejection made my chest ache so badly I wanted to scream.

  I hated that he looked so lost, like a child who found out a car hit his puppy. I didn't want to feel anything for him. His mouth opened then snapped shut. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to answer me.

  He remained silent for so long, I fell asleep.

  I woke curled against his chest. I remembered my last words to him and wondered if I pushed him over the edge. I must not have, he hadn't dumped me on the sofa or worse, thrown me out of the window.

  I looked up at him. At least, I tried looking up. I was stiff. I must've slept for a long time, because I couldn’t move without pain shooting through me.

  I managed to raise my head high enough to see his chin. I rolled my eyes back and stopped breathing. His tormented eyes softened even further as he watched me. My breath caught in my chest. Could he fake that look? Did he care for me? From his eyes it looked like he did, at least a little bit.

  I didn't have the strength to keep my head kinked at such an angle. I pushed against him using his chest as leverage I tried sitting-up higher and whimpered.

  His arms tightened around me, gently holding me in place.

  “Stop trying to…” he stopped talking.

  The tips of his midnight hair slipped past as he shook his head. “What I mean to say is that it’s better if you don’t move. You yourself said it hurts,” he said gently. �
�You were quite insistent about that.”

  My brain struggled, trying to remember what I said before going to sleep. When I did remember, I bluntly said, “I didn’t mean that kind of hurt. I meant you wanting to kill me hurts.”

  “I don't want you dead.”

  I choked back a snort and tried once again to see his face.

  I think he must have realized what I was doing. He pulled several large pillows from the far end of the sofa and layered them to our right. He gently propped my back against them, keeping my legs draped across his lap.

  His hand curled around my bare thigh. I was startled to realize, all I had on was a large white shirt. All my clothes, including my panties, were gone.

  His other hand gently wiped my tears away. His jaw clenched tight when my tears continued. These were not the actions of a man who hated me.

  Movement hurt, but his face was drawn with worry. For better or worse, he was my lifeMate. If I put out enough effort, maybe something could be salvaged. I reached toward his face, but my arm trembled, drooping with lack of strength.

  His eyes widened and he hurriedly leaned toward me. I caressed his cheek with my palm and sighed with pleasure; his skin was warm and as silken smooth as I thought it would be. I tried keeping my arm suspended, but it began shaking with the effort.

  He pulled his hand from my thigh and cupped my hand in his. Half closing his eyes, he rubbed his smooth cheek into my hand. Turning his head, he very gently kissed my palm.

  “You are my lifeMate.” He leaned forward and very gently kissed my forehead. He curled his hand around mine and carefully rubbed the t-shirt, exactly over the scar marring my ribcage. In a few days the tender ridge would fade, completely disappearing within a week or so.

  “I was furious with myself.” He leaned back and gazed into my face. “Truly, I felt like killing myself, but never you. Once the music sang and I acknowledged you as my lifeMate, how could you think I would hurt you?” he gently asked.

  Several emotions flickered across his face. Primarily confusion covered his face, confusion and pain. I didn't know which surprised me the most.

  It was the first time I actually had to look at him without fearing for my life. I knew I’d never tire of looking into his hunter green eyes. His pointed ears poked up through his midnight colored hair. I wondered how old he was. There was so much I wanted to know about him. For the first time, I had a glimmer of hope that he would accept me as his bonded lifeMate. I knew, even though our 'courtship' started with him trying to kill me, I still wanted him as my bonded mate.

  I quickly answered his question, but tacked on the two things that bothered me the most. “You keep saying ‘you’re my lifeMate,’ but I clearly remember gating away from the monster you left me with and then I woke-up with silver on my neck.”

  I lowered my eyes and bit my lip. After saying it out loud, I remembered this was an entirely different world. He might intend to keep me as a concubine or pet or even a prisoner. After all, I had the blood of his enemies in me.

  He gently tilted my chin up, caressing my skin until I looked at him. “Mirk’s not a monster. I’ll introduce you to him later.” He sighed, heavily. “The silver was necessary.”

  “Am I your prisoner?” I asked in a mental whisper, shivering at the thought.

  At my question, I saw his mouth tighten and my lips began trembling. I glanced away when my eyes filled with unshed tears. I knew it.

  Once I started shivering, I couldn’t quit. I couldn't look at him. I glanced toward the balcony doors, only half dozen feet away, which stood open. At least I had a good reason for shivering. It had to be winter on Sídhí; the wind was frigid.

  “You’re no more prisoner than I am,” he said finally.

  I looked at him and his frown deepened as he watched me. He motioned toward doors and I heard them snap shut.

  He looked to each side of him and his jaw clenched tight. He slipped his hands under my legs and I bit my lip to keep from crying out when he lifted them.

  He left me without another word.

  I didn’t know which hurt worse: the pain shooting through my body or his leaving.

  He swiftly walked away from me. The tears that had been threatening to fall rolled down my cheeks. I normally wasn't this weepy, but he hadn’t even said good-bye. I didn’t think I liked this new world, where a man acted as if he didn't even like his lifeMate most of the time.

  I watched as he grabbed the golden comforter. He hesitated, dropping the stiff bundle on the bed he picked up a fluffy blanket draped across the end of the bed. He turned and was kneeling at my side in the blink of an eye.

  His arms gently wrapped around me and he kissed my cheek. “Mia Cara, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

  “I thought you were leaving without even saying goodbye. I don’t normally cry like this. I’m sorry,” I said, my shoulders drooping.

  He started to say something, but I covered his lips with my fingers. His eyes widened in surprise.

  “You,” I hesitated, “you called me Mia Cara. On Earth that means My Beloved. Can you love a halfling?” I looked into his face and saw him swiftly hide his anger. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling even faster. I choked on a sob; I couldn't have spoken out-loud if my life depended on it. “This world is so different. At home, we would have already bonded and opened our surface thoughts to each other. In this world, you’ve locked silver around my neck, and everything I say makes you angry.”

  His face froze into a mask with no emotion slipping through. I dropped my hand from his face and my shoulders drooped even farther. “Ask my family, I’m always causing trouble. No doubt by now, you’re wishing you had never laid eyes on me. Maybe you should just send me back.”

  “Are you refusing me?” he asked in a very formal voice, his eyes darkened.

  I realized he was totally serious, my eyes widened in horror. Maybe that's what he wanted after all. My rejecting him would keep his honor intact. More than intact; he would be praised as hero worthy since his lifeMate rejected him, not the other way around.

  The sun suddenly streamed through the glass doors, hitting the side of my face. I knew, without looking at him, he would be horrified. I was vampire. In the sun, my eyes turned a solid bloody red. I looked at him anyway and painfully whispered aloud, “Is that what you want, for me to reject our bond?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s the woman’s choice,” he said solemnly. His arms trembled as he held me and his eyes filled with tears, slowly falling down his face.

  “Women’s choice? That’s crap,” I said vehemently, gently wiping the tears from his face. “Do you or do you not want me?”

  Chapter: Woman’s Choice

  “Woman’s choice is the law. She decides when and where the lifeBond is opened or even if it is opened,” he explained, rubbing his cheek into my caress. He frowned and pulled back.

  He covered me in the soft blanket, carefully tucking it around me.

  “You’re shivering,” he said worriedly. “I shouldn’t have brought you this close to the windows. I thought you’d enjoy the sun.” He sighed, shaking his head before I could speak. “Yes, I know vampires aren't thrilled with the sun. Plain and simple, I wanted to hold you.”

  I pulled my arm from under the luxuriously soft blanket and reached for his hand.

  He willingly wrapped his large hand around mine.

  “In my world, the decision to bond is made to together. Just like all the decisions in a bonded couple’s life are made together.” I nodded my head and winced as my swollen jaw hit the edge of the hard collar, before I could continue he reached for the silver collar and snapped it off.

  “Thank you,” I said. I couldn’t reach his cheek, so I softly kissed his hand in thanks.

  “You’re welcome,” he sighed and smiled at me; his eyes gleamed with unspoken emotion. “I didn’t want to put it on you, but after you ported away the first time, I was worried you would try it again or maybe call your sister.” A shudder rac
ed through his body. “I can still feel the terror of coming back with the healer and realizing you were gone. Then I was terrified I might not find you in time.”

  “Sorry, I thought the monst… Mirk was going to eat me,” I apologized.

  “Hush, my beloved, it is I who must apologize. I nearly killed you.” He kissed my forehead and I saw the pain in his eyes. “After we came through the gateway and I found-out your sister was Chi’Kehra, I knew she would come for you. I didn’t want to kill you, but I felt I had no choice. I had no idea how powerful your sister was. My first thought was she could kill everyone in the entire valley. I threw you against the stone wall hard enough to stop you from calling her. Then you ported. I swear I reacted on instinct. I turned and struck before I had time to think.” He shuddered and groaned. “Then the synth song roared through my blood.”

  He gritted his teeth and continued in a choked voice, “Once the synth sang, my love for you was instant and overwhelming and…”

  “Enough,” I said firmly, cutting him off. “It’s in the past and that’s where we will leave it.”

  He looked stunned at my words. I was tired of guessing what my lifeMate was feeling. I wanted him and he acted like he cared for me; I wanted us mentally bonded.

  “Would you come back to the sofa?” I felt my face turn slightly pink as I admitted, “I miss having you next to me.”

  “Ah, my beloved, you are definitely from a different world. Very, very few women here would admit something like that. Not when it could be used against her,” he said carefully, measuring each word.

  When I didn't comment, he sighed and raised my legs slowly.

  I tried, but I couldn’t hold back the moan of pain as he slid my legs over his lap.

  “Forgive me,” he said, recapturing my hand.

  “It’s okay,” I said and tried swallowing another whimper as he shifted.

  He snapped his teeth together. “It’s not okay. You’re white as a sheet. The healer left some pain medicine, but she said not to give you any for another two hours. I'll call my guards to bring her.”