Better Late Than Never

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “I have to go,” she said. “Daddy’s waiting for me.”

  Charlotte watched as her daughter left the room, praying she would keep their secret. Because if Curtis found out Charlotte was drinking again, life as she knew it would be over. Their marriage would suffer greatly, and there was a chance he would file for divorce. She knew this because he’d threatened to do it before. He’d told her in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t tolerate being married to a drunk. He’d been very serious, and if there was one thing Charlotte knew about her husband, it was that he was a man of his word.

  Chapter 23

  Charlotte hadn’t drunk anything since late yesterday morning, right after Curtis and Curtina had left for church, but then she’d ended up sleeping until they’d returned home. She’d sort of been afraid that Curtis might notice what she’d been doing, but thankfully Matthew, MJ, and Dillon had come over to watch the Bulls play, so he’d spent the rest of the afternoon with them in the theater room. The game hadn’t started until five o’clock, but they’d ordered food and hung out together starting two hours beforehand. During basketball season, they tended to do this a lot, and Charlotte loved how close Curtis was with his boys and grandson.

  Charlotte stirred the small saucepan of oatmeal that she’d just finished cooking and set it on a cast-iron trivet next to the scrambled eggs, toast, turkey sausage, and juice that she’d already arranged at the center of the island. She knew Curtis was still getting dressed and would be downstairs shortly, but Curtina would likely have to be summoned the same as always. Or at least that was what Charlotte had thought until she saw her walking in with her headphones on, singing. She sat down in a chair, removed the headphones from her ears, and laid her phone on the island.

  “Good morning, Mom,” she said, and Charlotte wondered who this smiling, cheery stranger was. She hadn’t shown this kind of normalcy in months, and it made Charlotte nervous.

  Charlotte sat down in front of her. “Good morning.”

  Curtina took food from each dish and glanced up at the news program on the TV screen.

  Charlotte fixed her own plate, but still felt a little uneasy. Yesterday afternoon, while the guys had been watching basketball, Curtina had assured her again that she wouldn’t tell her dad what she knew. But Charlotte wasn’t fully convinced that she could trust her. Not to mention, this new, happy attitude of hers was making Charlotte doubly skeptical.

  “Mom, is it okay if I go to a sleepover at Taylor’s this Saturday? She invited me, Lauren, and three other girls from school.”

  “You’ll have to check with your dad, too, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. Especially if you bring home good progress reports this week.”

  “But I don’t want to just go to the sleepover, I want to stay until noon or early afternoon like everyone else.”

  Charlotte ate some of her oatmeal. “You know your dad won’t like that.”

  “Well, I get tired of going to sleepovers and then getting up before seven just so I can come home to get dressed for church.”

  “Maybe so, but you know your dad doesn’t want you missing service.”

  “I don’t know why not, because it’s not like I do it all the time.”

  Charlotte had wondered when rude Curtina was going to show back up, and it hadn’t taken more than a few minutes. “I hear what you’re saying, but you also know what your dad’s response is going to be.”

  “Yeah, but you can get him to let me do it.”

  “No, I don’t think so, and why can’t you guys have your sleepover on Friday night instead?”

  “Because Taylor’s parents have plans that evening.”

  “Then you’ll just have to wait until another time.”

  “Why?”

  “I just told you. Your dad doesn’t like you missing church.”

  Curtina sat back in her chair. “He doesn’t like for any of us to miss church, but you haven’t gone for the last two Sundays.”

  “Curtina, that’s because I went to see my dad, remember?”

  “Not yesterday. And you weren’t sick like you said you were, either.”

  Charlotte was in shock. Maybe she shouldn’t have been, not with all the disrespectful things Curtina had said to her as of late, but she was.

  Curtina drank some of her juice. “I want to go to Taylor’s sleepover, and I’m not missing it, Mom,” she said in a quiet, demanding tone.

  Charlotte still didn’t comment, mostly because she wasn’t sure what she should say or how she should say it. So they both sat in silence, yet the serious look on Curtina’s face told Charlotte everything she needed to know: Curtina was already blackmailing her, and Charlotte would have to find a way to convince Curtis to let her go to that sleepover and miss church the next morning. She didn’t want to, but she knew she had to or risk having Curtina tell Curtis everything.

  Chapter 24

  Curtis was a bit surprised at how supportive Charlotte had been this morning about his going to see Trina today. For the last couple of weeks, she’d done nothing but complain and act as though he was putting his sister before her, so this sudden turnabout seemed odd. Which made him wonder if there was some special reason for her change of heart. But nonetheless, he was glad she was okay with his spending time in Chicago, because he was tired of arguing about it.

  Curtis walked inside Trina’s home, and Denise closed the door behind him.

  “She’s already up, ready and waiting for you in the family room,” she said.

  “Sounds good,” Curtis said, following her down the hallway and into the family room, and when he entered, he smiled at his sister. “Wow, don’t you look beautiful.”

  She smiled back. “Why thank you. I feel pretty good today, so I asked Denise to help me do my hair and put on my makeup. Then she helped me pick out something to wear,” she said, looking down at her silk sweater and dress pants.

  “What’re you so dressed up for?”

  “I probably should’ve given you some warning, but I want you to help me make videos for Jason and the children. I know I could easily do them by myself from my phone, but I thought it might be nice if you helped me. That way, you’ll always have a special memory of something we did together as adults.”

  Curtis looked at her, swallowing hard but refusing to shed tears. He certainly wanted to, but he also saw great joy and happiness on Trina’s face, and he didn’t want to ruin her idea.

  “Okay,” Curtis said, sitting next to her on the sofa. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”

  “Can you get two chairs from the dining room? That way you can sit one of them in front of me and lean my phone against the back of it. And you can sit in the other one right to the side of it.”

  Curtis did what she asked. “Is that it?”

  “Pretty much. I just need you to start and stop it from time to time. We should probably check to make sure the lighting is okay, though. Otherwise I can move to another spot.”

  “What’s your passcode?”

  “Zero two zero one.”

  Curtis smiled. “Mom’s birthday.”

  “Yep.”

  Curtis clicked on the camera icon, switched the setting to video, and pressed Record. He let it run for about twenty seconds, hit Stop, and then pressed Play. “It looks fine to me.”

  “Me too.”

  “Okay, then,” he said, standing the phone up on the chair and leaning it against the back of it. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

  Trina took a deep breath. “I think I’ll start with Amber.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.”

  Curtis hit the Record button again.

  Trina smiled the way mothers do when they are exceptionally proud of their children. “My dearest Amber. My firstborn baby. My heart and joy. My beautiful daughter. To be honest, I wasn’t exactly sure of what I should say to you first, but then it came to me. So thank you. Thank you for being the first person I shared unconditional love with—as a mother giving birth to her child. Because of yo
u, I learned what it was like to love someone so deeply that you will go without everything for them if you have to, and you will even die for them…without giving it a second thought. I have certainly always loved your father unconditionally and with all my heart, too, but when you were born, my whole outlook on life and my reason for living changed drastically. It changed as soon as I saw your sweet, precious little face, and I knew then that I had fallen in love like never before. When I saw you, I knew that nothing in this world could ever compare to the love a mother has for her child. I knew from that moment on that you would become my priority, and that I would do everything in my power to take care of you, be here for you, protect you, and give you not just the things you needed but even some of the things you wanted. My goal from the start was to give you a much better childhood than I had. But what makes me smile even more is the fact that you are going to be an even better mother to your children. You are innately one of the most nurturing young women I have ever met in my life—even more so than me—and my grandchildren are going to benefit greatly because of it.”

  Curtis saw tears welling up in Trina’s eyes, but she didn’t let them fall.

  “But back to what I was saying about my goal of giving you a better childhood than mine—well, that was your dad’s goal, too. We both decided that we would make every opportunity we could available to you, but little did we know that you would end up graduating at the top of your high school class, and you would go on to earn both a bachelor’s degree in political science and a law degree from Yale. And now you work for one of the most prestigious law firms in downtown Chicago. If that weren’t enough, you graduated summa cum laude both times. So to say that I am very proud of you is an understatement, but I truly am. You have been a parents’ dream, not just educationally and professionally, but also as a loving, caring, and respectful daughter, and I love you for that. I’m grateful that God gave you to us, and that I was here long enough to raise you up and see some of the many accomplishments I know you will have for years to come.

  “I also want to thank you for going to your bosses, handing over your cases, and taking a leave of absence just so you could take care of me. My chemo treatments, radiation treatments, and just the emotional toll that my illness began to take on me, well, sometimes it was harder than I thought imaginable. But when you took off six whole months last year and spent every single one of those days with me, it was the highlight of this entire experience. And as much as I don’t want to leave you, and as hard as I know it will be for you as well, I’m not sure we would have spent so many days in a row together during your adult years—that is, if I hadn’t gotten sick. We might not even have gotten to say everything we wanted to say to each other while we still could. So thank you again for being such a wonderful daughter and blessing.

  “I then want to thank you for being more of a second mother than a sister to your baby brother, because little did we all know he will need you to be exactly that from now on. And the other thing is this: No matter what, always remember that regardless of what kinds of disagreements you have, never turn against each other. And never, ever allow yourself to become so angry that if you do have a disagreement and your brother comes to you apologizing, you won’t forgive him. I did that very thing with your dear uncle Curtis, and I now regret it. It is also the reason that this time I’ve had with him recently has been another awesome highlight of my journey, and I am grateful that God brought us back together when I needed him most. He brought him here when you, your brother, and your dad will now need him most, too, and that gives me peace. And since you have always been just as protective of your dad as you’ve been with me and your brother, I know you’ll be there for him even more than you already are. And that gives me more joy than I can explain. So from the bottom of my heart, my sweet Amber, know that it has been my great honor and privilege to be your mom, and that I will remain in your heart, soul, and spirit always. I will never stop loving you, and neither will God, so remember to keep Him first at all times. Turn to Him, trust Him, and keep your faith in Him…during both the good times and bad…and all will be well. I love you dearly. Always.”

  Curtis pressed the Stop button, and while he’d told himself that he wouldn’t cry, it was becoming tougher by the minute.

  Trina blinked back her tears and repositioned her body on the sofa. “I knew this would be hard, saying good-bye to my babies, but it’s much harder than I thought. I’m not going to lose it, though. Not before I get a chance to at least finish my message for Eric. Then I might have to wait and do Jason’s tomorrow, if you don’t mind coming back again.”

  “Not at all. Whatever you need me to do I’ll do.”

  “I really appreciate you doing this with me.”

  Trina took a few moments and then took another deep breath.

  “Ready?” Curtis asked.

  Trina nodded her head, and Curtis pressed the Record button.

  “My dearest Eric. So what does a mother say about her second baby, only son, and baby of the family? Although maybe that says it all, as you have certainly become an amazing young man. You were also an amazing baby who hardly ever cried, and a sweet little boy who cared about anyone who was just a little less fortunate than you. Your heart has always been huge, and even today, your dad and I talk about all the times you came home asking if we could buy one of your schoolmates a pair of shoes, or if we could pay for their school supplies, or if we could take them shopping to get a winter coat. The list was infinite, but what you taught us was that if a child could spend so much time trying to figure out what he could do for others, then it was the very least we could do to help you. But more than that, the reason we ended up helping so many children and people of all ages is because of you. You were our child, and we were the adults, but you showed us how important it was to focus more on others than we did on ourselves. So, my precious Eric, we are better human beings because of you, and don’t you ever forget that.

  “Then, there is the beautiful relationship you have with your sister, and no matter how many times I see the two of you together, it still makes me smile. You have always looked up to her, and I’m glad because now she’ll be able to give you what I no longer can. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the same as I will continue to be with her, I will also continue to be with you in your heart, soul, and spirit. But how great is it to know that you have a sister who treats you like her son? To me, it just doesn’t get much better than that, and I thank God for the bond the two of you have. Then, as for your father, I don’t think I’d ever seen him happier than when the ultrasound showed that we were having a boy. Your dad was, of course, thrilled out of his mind when we became pregnant with Amber, but I guess nothing can compare to the love a father has for a son. Your dad was so proud when you were born, and you’d barely become a toddler when he began taking you to see the Cubs, the White Sox, the Bears, the Bulls, and the Blackhawks. Actually, I’m sure this is the reason you have such a great love for just about all sports. And you know what? I pray for the day when you have your own son, and the three of you can go to games together. I also pray for the time when Amber’s children and your children will get to grow up together like siblings rather than first cousins. I won’t be here in my earthly body to see it, but I will be watching from the arms of our Heavenly Father. And I’m also glad that you have finally gotten a chance to spend some time with your uncle, Curtis, and with all of his children and his grandson. Family means everything…and I do mean everything, so please never forget that, son. Please be there for your sister, through good times and bad, and take great care of your father. But I already know that you will, and that makes me smile.

  “I also want to say that having the great honor and privilege to become a mother to such a very handsome and special son has meant the world to me. Many times, I’ve had friends of mine ask me what Jason and I did to raise such an honorable and respectable young man. And years ago, I used to wonder what they meant. But then I started to pay more attention to the things you sai
d, and more important, the things you did. Opening doors for all ladies from the time you were four. Cringing at men who walked in front of their girlfriends or wives at the mall or in the movie theater. Helping the elderly every time you had the opportunity, even if you didn’t know them. So again, you have made us proud, and none of us should have been surprised when you chose to major in public administration in college, for both your bachelor’s and master’s degrees. And though you are only twenty-six, we’re also not surprised about you being the youngest executive director that Chicago Charities, Inc., has ever hired. Your purpose in life has always been to help people who need it the most, and I know you’ll continue to do even more good work for decades. All you have to do is keep God in your life and make Him a priority over all else. Allow Him to guide you, my dear son, through every storm and obstacle. Go to Him first, even when you have others to turn to. But then…you already do that now, and that makes me happy. And finally, I want you to remember something else. The most important thing of all. I love you with all my heart…and I always will.”

  Curtis turned off the recorder and looked at Trina. The smile she’d managed to display for Eric was gone, and she was crying massive tears. She’d held her emotions together until the very end, but now the reality of saying good-bye to her children was too much. And as Curtis sat next to his sister, holding her, he thought about how much he loved Charlotte, his children, and his grandson, and how he would never want to leave them, either. But more than anything, he grappled with another reality: Unless God decided differently, his sister’s time was winding down very quickly. A lot quicker than he wanted it to.

  Chapter 25

  Charlotte poured herself a glass of brandy and drank almost half of it. She certainly hadn’t planned on driving out to her favorite liquor store, but since Curtis was in Chicago, Curtina was at school, and Agnes was off on Mondays, she didn’t see a reason not to. Plus, for some reason, she had been kind of bored and had thought it might be nice to buy brandy instead of vodka this time around. She hadn’t purchased brandy in years, but it tasted good, and it relaxed her just as well as her vodka did—although vodka was still her drink of choice, and always would be.