“No, come in. Please. I could put some tea on if you’d like.”
“I won’t be staying long.” I follow her inside. She hasn’t bothered cleaning in a while. There are pizza boxes and a pile of blankets on the floor and some used tissues scattered around the wastebasket. She tosses a pillow off the couch and motions for me to take a seat.
I do, and she sits next to me. “So how have you been?” Her fingers comb through her hair as she looks at me, unblinking.
“I’ve been really great, actually.”
“Oh.” The smile she’s plastered on her face vanishes in an instant, but she manages to replace it quickly. “I’ve been great too. Everything has been wonderful. I actually got a promotion, and there’s this new girl I’ve been talking to.” She brushes her hair behind her shoulders, straightening her back and only sniffling a little. I should just let her have this.
“That’s great. I’m really happy for you. It sounds like we’re both a lot better off now.”
Swallowing, her jaw tightens and she nods about as convincingly as a fifties animatronic would.
“I should get out of your hair. I’m really glad that you’re doing so well.” I hate that I did this to her. I won’t ever hurt Abby like this. I won’t ever hurt anyone like this again. When I got off the phone with her last time, I was relieved because it meant I could get a burrito. I am the absolute worst.
She clutches my hand. “Wait. You said you had something you wanted to tell me.”
Shaking my head, I pull away and stand, taking a few steps toward the door. “It really wasn’t important. You have a good evening.”
“No.” Her hand falls from her hair, and her nails dig into the couch. “Tell me what you wanted to say. Clearly, it wasn’t anything good. Have you come back to remind me how little you cared about me? It’s not like I didn’t know. I just thought maybe you’d come around. For fuck’s sake, who goes an entire year without telling their partner that they love them? I just kept waiting, expecting you to say it, but you never did. Then I finally say it, and you dump me like I’m nothing.”
“Did you want me to lie to you?” I’m letting her drag me into this. I came to give her closure, and that was wrong. Let her have her victory; she’s more than earned it.
“I wanted you to be a decent girlfriend!” She jumps to her feet, stomping toward me, her index finger outstretched.
“Well, I wasn’t.” She falters. “I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to let you know. I’m sorry I was so awful to you. You deserve better, and I hope you find it.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she tries to blink them away.
“Have a good life, Carol.” I open the door and head back to my car. She doesn’t try to follow. God, that was a terrible idea.
* * *
“I talked to Carol.” I sit curled up in my car on the side of the road, my knees tucked under my chin. It hit me harder than I thought it would. “I was such a terrible girlfriend to her, and I never even cared. How was I so broken that I could treat her like that?”
“You’re the therapist; you tell me.” Sandra’s familiar voice fills my car.
“Narcissistic personality disorder?”
“You’re not a narcissist.” Her voice is calm and soothing. “You were awful to her, but from the sound of it, you’re being so much better with Abby—who you still haven’t let me see, by the way—and based on the fact that you actually care now, it sounds like you’ve really grown.”
I throw my head back, smacking it against the headrest. Why would Abby possibly want me? She deserves so much better. “I just made Carol cry more. I’m clearly not that much better if it didn’t occur to me that going there would make things worse for her. She’s so miserable. I don’t think she’s left the house in the last two weeks. I’ve been off with Abby almost every day, and the girl I was dating just two weeks ago is barely holding it together.”
“Abigail disappearing did quite a number on your ability to get close to people. Now you know why she did it, and you’re managing to move past that, but your behavior was perfectly reasonable.”
“That sure doesn’t sound like what you said last week. Weren’t you mad at me for dumping her? And what if now she ends up just as messed up as I was? I hurt her as badly as Abby hurt me, and I didn’t even have a good excuse.”
Sandra sighs. “Liz, you’re being too hard on yourself. You and Abigail had something special. You and Carol didn’t. You were a terrible girlfriend, and she knows it. She’ll get over you. She just needs a bit more time.”
“Thanks.” My reply is only a little bitter. I know I was terrible, and that she’s right, but it still sucks to think of myself that way. I’d been convinced that I was fun, laid back, and just not that into commitment. Now that I’m with Abigail, I’d commit in a second. I wasn’t just enjoying my twenties or whatever other bullshit I told myself. I was using other women and leaving a path of destruction in my wake. Even committing to doing better is so meaningless since now I’m with someone who I actually love, and there’s no reason for me to act like that again. “You really don’t think I’m an unrepentant monster who doesn’t deserve the happiness I’ve managed to find?”
“If you were any of those things, you wouldn’t be beating yourself up right now.”
I manage a half-smile. “I guess that’s a fair point.”
“Abigail is good for you. She’s finally made you the person I always knew you could be…the person you were back when we first met.”
“Well, I’m glad I’m regressing, then.” We met when I was a kid. I sure hope I’m not regressing that far.
It’s a little past six. I should probably grab some food and start getting ready for tonight before too long. Though I still have plenty of time. “I do think she’s good for me, though,” I finally add.
“Yeah?”
I nibble on my lip. She’ll never believe we haven’t had sex yet. “She’s been really scared to have sex after everything she’s been through, but we’re planning on doing it tonight, and it’s everything I’ve been dreaming of for so long, and I am so incredibly excited.”
“Finally getting to do something you’re good at?”
“Excuse me? You mean something I’m amazing at.”
“I’m really happy for you.” She chuckles. “That’s fantastic. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a decade, and it’s finally come.” She sniffles dramatically. “This must be what it’s like to be a mother. I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom. Just so you know, I’m gonna break curfew.”
“That’s my girl.”
My legs drift back down to the floor. Talking about Abby always makes me feel so much better. Well, it does now. It certainly didn’t a few weeks ago. “I’ll make sure to give her one for you too.”
“Give her two just to be sure. Oh, guess what? I had a date this weekend, and the guy was actually a real charmer, and we’re seeing each other again tomorrow!”
“You didn’t give me time to guess.” I glare at the display in my car, feigning offense. “That’s amazing, though. Anyone I know?”
“Just a guy I was talking to on this website. I met his dog. He has this cute yellow Lab. It was just the sweetest thing. It wanted me to rub its belly for hours.”
“You went to his place? Did you get up to some more rubbing?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I’d know that tone anywhere. She just got laid.
“You slut.”
“Hey, it’s been a while. Not all of us had a menagerie of beautiful women to help us get through waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to sweep us off our feet.”
“First off, I sweep her off her feet.” God, she would love that. I wish I actually had powers too. Then I could swoop her up in my arms and hold her or have my way with her. I’d see where the mood took us. “Second off, did you want a menagerie of women?”
“Beggars can’t be choosers. At least then I wouldn’t have had to deal with all the dicks I dealt
with.”
I try very hard not to laugh. I do not succeed. “If you were dealing with so many dicks, you clearly weren’t having that bad a time.”
She’s glaring at me. I can feel it even twenty miles away. “You know what I mean.”
“Of course. You had a menagerie of your own.”
“Christ, I wish. Hey, Peter is practically a menagerie all his own. That man’s an animal.”
“Straight sex is horrifying. I don’t want to hear any more.”
Her laugh echoes through my speakers. I turn the volume down until I can barely hear her. “Oh, you’re going to hear more. He and I…” I turn it down to zero and take a moment to watch the cars pass by. There’re a few pedestrians on the street, and I look closely, trying to see if any of them might be fiends. I hope that Dennis really does go to that group. I’ll have to ask Abby about it. I really liked helping him. It doesn’t seem like there’s anyone else willing to, at least not any humans. I turn the volume back up. “And then he grabbed a towel.”
“Sounds like a great time, Sandra.” Okay, I still have a little bit of growing up to do.
Chapter Twelve
Abigail
I am, as ever, absolutely terrified. Are Liz and I really going to…I mean I want to, but what if it’s not safe? I need to hear back from James. He’s taking his sweet time. Surely someone somewhere decided to have sex with a wendigo and came up with a good way to keep themselves safe. I spend the next hour thinking of all the possible ways this could go wrong. I know I can back out, and I probably will, but I really want to be able to do this with her. This morning was magical, and if it’s anything like that in real life, it will be absolute perfection. I hope.
He finally calls. I answer before it finishes the first ring. “James, hey, hi, what did you learn?”
“Simmer down, Abby. Isn’t she not getting there for, like, four more hours?”
My phone claims that it’s seven o’clock. “Three or four.”
“You have time.”
“And you have something useful?”
His weirdly symphonic laughter crackles right into my ear. “I have so much info for you. Where should I start?”
“What’re my options?” I sit on my new bed. It’s way softer than the old one. The salesman claimed it’s made of basilisk feathers, but I’m pretty sure he’s full of shit. It smells like goose. Real or not, it was worth the price; it’s like lying on a cloud. I even have an actual headboard, gold with an inlaid ivy design. I thought it worked for a cabin in the middle of the woods.
“Well, again, there’s no wendigo in the world with your restraint, so you are probably safe. I think a strap-on is a great idea. It wouldn’t be as sharp as you, and it prevents you from tasting her, which for some reason, seems like a good idea to you.”
“For some reason? Maybe you should bring that up at group.”
“For a perfectly understandable reason.”
“Better.” I stretch my legs. It’s weird not having my feet on the floor. There’s even a little extra room. A pound of gold was a bargain. “So what else?”
“I assume anything with more direct contact is out? Tribbing would likely be safe. Unless that’s sharp too. I’ve never personally been with a wendigo. Not exactly my type. I mean, you’re very pretty. I certainly wouldn’t object. Liz is a very lucky girl.”
Is there something about being a few millennia old that turns you into a complete tactless asshole? “You’re not my type either, James.”
“I’m everyone’s type.”
“That’s why you’re walking me through lesbian sex, I suppose.”
“And I’m very happy to do so. See, I’m a great friend. You could use a dental dam. You wouldn’t be able to taste her, and you could still take advantage of your horrific-transformation-given gifts. I’m sure she’d enjoy it. I could get some that were made for a palis. I’m sure that’d suit you. Or you could use a condom.”
“What’s a dental dam? Wait, like, use a condom on my tongue?”
“Believe me, the taste would certainly ruin your appetite.”
I scratch at the bedding as I think. The blanket is supposedly spun from the fur of some ancient monster that could only be cut by a powerful magical sword, so my talons can’t pierce it. I’m gonna have to do some serious hunting to make back all the money I spent, but it is nice not tearing open all my blankets when I’m nervous. “Okay, I’ll keep it in mind. Seriously, though, what’s a dental dam?”
“It’s a piece of latex that you put over her when you eat her out.”
“Oh. So same as the condom, basically. Okay, anything else? So far, it’s mostly just stuff I could’ve found googling lesbian sex.” After I sifted through all the porn.
“All right, you want me to get to the more interesting stuff? I can do that.” He proceeds to outline how to use an assortment of devices, what a sex machine is, the best angles for mutual masturbation, the erogenous zones of a female wendigo—that one is really good to know—and the use of cocaine to numb my taste buds and sense of smell. Never mind all the damage that a coked-up wendigo could cause. Upon prompting, he sighs exasperatedly and gives me “less fun” substances to use for a similar effect. When he’s finally done, I have quite a shopping list to go through.
“Thank you.” He spent two entire hours detailing all the ways that Liz and I might be able to have sex.
“Be sure to tell me every sordid detail.”
“No.”
“I do not get you, Abigail. Well, you two crazy kids have fun. If there’s anything more I can do, don’t hesitate to let me know.”
“Want to go buy me all of that stuff?”
“I’m afraid you’re on your own there. I already spent all of my paycheck.”
I stare at my phone. “What paycheck? You don’t have a job.”
“Hey, conning people out of money is still a paycheck as long as they use a check. I still can’t believe I actually managed to sell that woman a bridge. It wasn’t even a nice bridge.”
“You’re a terrible person.”
“I’m a terrible demon.”
Groaning, I hop out of bed. “I’m gonna get going. Have fun with your ill-gotten gains.” Once we hang up, I throw on some clothes and make a dash to the Community Center. I only have an hour, but running at top speed, I can make it there and back in time. It’s still too early for most of the shops to be open, so my options are limited, but I can’t exactly go to a normal store without causing a commotion, and delivery could have some unfortunate complications even if I had the time for it. I only manage to buy a few of his suggestions. Apparently, the big sex toy vendor doesn’t get there until one.
Once I’m home again, I have time to consider how insane this is. I need to back out. I smell her approaching, hear the familiar tracks of her car on the dirt road. I can do this. That smell is only eliciting wholesome lust.
* * *
I answer the door with a nervous smile. She hasn’t seen the place since I redecorated. I really want her to not feel as if she’s squatting in some monster’s den. She makes me feel human, and I’d like to do the same for her at the very least.
After I point it out, she drops her car keys on a little table I set in the foyer and wraps her arms around me. “I missed you last night. Though this morning did almost make up for it.” Pulling back, a lascivious grin on her lips, she stands on her tiptoes. “Kiss me already.”
I comply, bending down the foot and a half she needs and threading my hand through her hair and cleanly around her head.
Her smile seems far more innocent as she pulls away and closes the door before taking off her coat. “We should get a heater for this place.” She stops in her tracks, heading toward the couch. Her gaze sweeps over the room. “Or maybe you already did. Holy shit, you really changed the place. And I thought the table was impressive.”
“It’s not too much?” I didn’t think to get a heater. Not feeling temperature sucks. That was dumb of me. I can’t believe I thought
a TV was more important than a heater. I can’t even get cable.
“I like it.” The couch has been replaced with an even larger one that is less full of holes, the last few pieces of hunting memorabilia from the previous owner have all been removed, there’s carpet that doesn’t even have an animal head attached, and most importantly, I’ve added a fridge and a microwave. She notices this last part and seems to understand the implication. “You’re sure you’re okay with me eating around you?”
No. “I’ll be fine. I just want to stop holding you back. You have sacrificed so much for me in this relationship.” I approach slowly, in as non-predatory a manner as I can, and pull her to me, resting my hand on her lower back. “I want to give you everything. At least, everything I can.”
“Abby,” she murmurs, clinging to me, blinking away tears. “You give me everything I need. I don’t want you to even begin to think that you’re not enough for me. You’re perfect, Abigail.” She cups my cheek, looking right into my hideous, misshapen, fuzzy face. “I love you.”
No accounting for taste. “I love you too. It’s why I want you here more. I’m not saying move in with me—I know it’s not practical—but I can give you a drawer, or as many as you want, and you can keep food here and whatever else you need. I’m not sure if there’s a way for me to set up a washer and dryer—I just hand wash my stuff—but if it’s possible, I’ll do that too. I want this to be another home for you.”
“I want that too.” She lets out a shaky breath. “There’s actually a way that could be a bit more possible too. Not that I’m moving in just yet.” She chuckles, a slight blush on her cheeks, which she promptly hides by resting her head on my chest. “I was wondering if you thought the Community Center could use a therapist? I saw a fiend the other day, and it made me realize that you guys aren’t really having those needs met. I could probably halve my hours and stop taking new clients. Then I could spend around half the week here without it messing up my sleep schedule too much or having to drive an hour and a half every day.”
My Date with a Wendigo Page 12
