The Jakarta Pandemic

by Steven Konkoly

  Plenty of time for that later.

  He heard his wife yell out to him. “Alex, where are you? These assholes have been all over the house!”

  “Jeff, do you see any reason why I can’t come inside and help calm my wife? She sounds pretty frantic, and quite frankly, she’s not exactly stable. I really need to get in here,” he said calmly.

  Just get me in there, so I can break Ted’s neck.

  “Uh…I don’t really…”

  Kate suddenly appeared in the mudroom. “I’ve got another meathead in the kitchen standing guard over me. Ted is searching the basement. Who the fuck do these—”

  A massive hand connected to a huge, tattooed forearm extended from the kitchen into the mudroom and grabbed Kate’s right arm.

  She shook loose of the grip. “Get your hands off me.” She flashed a faint smile at him as the other man stepped into the mudroom.

  “Take it easy,” he barked at her, turning his head toward Alex.

  The man was not as tall as the guy playing bouncer, but was clearly cut from the same mold. His muscles bulged through the khaki pants and blue polo. He had a thick goatee and a tattoo at the base of his neck, by his right shoulder, and both of them sported crew cuts. He stopped trying to grab Kate and walked a few steps toward the door. Alex noticed that he had two pouches attached to his belt. One looked like it could house a multi-tool, or knife; the other pouch was bigger. Pepper spray canister. He noted the same set-up on the guy at the door.

  “Your woman is out of control. You’d better do something about her before she gets hurt.”

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to do. She has some problems. May I calm her down?” Alex asked.

  “Be my guest,” he said, nodding to the guy at the door.

  So he’s the leader of team meathead.

  He stepped through the doorway, inching past the bouncer’s chest, staring at him intensely. The guy’s expression changed almost imperceptibly, but Alex saw it. The guy had just realized that they shouldn’t have let him in until their job was done. Alex intended to prove him right. He walked up to Kate and hugged her.

  “How long have they been here?” he asked, moving her into the kitchen and noticing that all of his computer equipment sat on top of the kitchen island, along with Ted’s briefcase and a few inventory sheets.

  “About ten minutes. They pushed through the door and searched most of the house for your company equipment. They’ve been in our bedroom, your office, the kids’ rooms. Third floor. Everywhere.”

  “Is Emily all right?” he asked, feeling his anger almost boil over at the thought of these guys barging into their daughter’s room.

  “She’s fine. Really freaked out, but fine. They poked their heads in and left when they saw her. I told her everything’s fine and to lock the door,” she said, clutching him tightly as the leader walked into the kitchen.

  “Are you all right? Did any of them touch you, beyond the obvious case of criminal assault that I saw in the mudroom?” he asked, emphasizing the point for the tattooed guy standing with his arms crossed near the open door to the basement.

  “They pushed through me at the door, and this guy’s been trying to manhandle me ever since they got here,” she hissed, glowering at the guy.

  “Hey, I’m just doing my job here, and she’s been out’a control. Pushing my buttons…she’s lucky,” the tattooed guy remarked.

  “Lucky about what? That she just had three idiots break into her house and assault her? Just doing your job ain’t gonna cut it when they come to serve the warrant for your arrest,” Alex said, letting go of Kate.

  “Where’s the king dumbshit?” he asked Kate, getting a laugh out of her.

  “He’s still in the basement,” she said, and they both heard footsteps ascending the basement stairs.

  “Hey, Carl? We’re going to need to bust open a door down here. I think that’s where all the samples are hidden. It has two separate locks and—”

  Ted entered the kitchen and saw Alex. He looked surprised. Alex whispered to Kate, who walked toward the great room.

  “Hi, Ted. Looks like you have everything you need here, so where do I sign? I’d like to conclude this transaction in less than two minutes, and I’d like to conclude it in the driveway, so please issue the appropriate orders to your crew of Neanderthals. Right now!” he snapped, taking a few steps toward Ted.

  Carl unfolded his arms and cocked his head at Alex.

  “Wait a minute right there, Alex. I have every right to be here. Company policy. I am required to make a visual search of your residence to check for any product literature or company property.”

  “Let me get this straight, Ted. Somehow, Biofuck’s company policy trumps the Fourth Amendment? Don’t worry, Carl, I don’t think Ted knows what I’m talking about either, so I’ll explain. If the police can’t search my house without a warrant issued by a judge, why the hell do you think that Bioshit’s company policy gives you and your butt buddies here a free pass to break into my house and search it? Carl, I don’t think you’ve thought this through very well. You guys are breaking the law, and probably probation from the looks of you…”

  “That’s enough with the jokes, pretty boy,” Carl snarled.

  “Ted. Get the fuck out of my house. Now!” Alex yelled.

  “I’m not going anywhere until you open the locked door in your basement. Nobody believes your bullshit sample transaction to Maine Med. I know you have it all hidden down there so you can sell it later. Don’t even for one minute—”

  “Ted! Get out!”

  Alex started walking behind the kitchen island to reach the cordless phone. Carl moved along the other side of the island.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded.

  Alex understood why; the phone was sitting in front of the knife rack.

  “I’m just grabbing the phone to dial 911,” he said, swiping the phone from the counter.

  Carl moved his hand away from the pepper spray pouch.

  “Last warning, guys. Get that out of here, and—”

  “Carl, I am required to see that room. If he won’t open it, then we’re going to force it open,” Ted squeaked from across the kitchen.

  “Are you kidding me, Ted? Hold on. Let me make this call, so the police can be here when you and your soon to be cell mates are smashing down the door. I’ll be sure to mail you some lipstick, Ted. You’ve gotta look pretty for Skull Fuck Fridays, right, Carl?” Alex taunted, walking back toward the great room with the phone.

  Alex noticed a strong breeze blowing into the house from the open patio door.

  “I’m busting that door down and putting those samples back into the regional inventory,” Ted said, with spittle flying from his mouth.

  “The samples are gone, Ted. Gone. And now, I’d like for you to be gone. Last warning!” he warned, walking through the great room to the other doorway spilling into the foyer.

  Alex stood at the foot of the stairs and watched Jeff appear in front of the island next to Carl. Jeff didn’t look comfortable with the situation. Next to the two behemoths, Ted looked pathetic. Carl’s forearms looked bigger than Ted’s neck.

  “Gentlemen, I have a phone call to make. I expect all of you to be gone when I get back down. And take all of that shit out with you,” he said, pointing to the equipment behind them.

  As he walked up the stairs, he heard them arguing in the kitchen. He heard Jeff ask if it was a good idea for Alex to be going upstairs.

  No, Jeff, it’s not a good idea at all for the three of you.

  He reached the top of the stairs and Kate poked her head out of Emily’s room. “Are they leaving?” she asked.

  Alex saw that she was scared. “I don’t know. They’re arguing about whether to break into the storeroom downstairs. He thinks all of the samples I gave to Dr. Wright are hidden down there, and he thinks I’m going to open up a stand on the corner of our street and sell them or something. He’s lost it,” he said.

 
“But you do have some TerraFlu samples down there, right?” she asked.

  “Yeah, that’s why I’m not calling the police. I have a lot of drug samples down there, from several different companies. All stolen, really, so I’d rather not take any chances. I don’t know exactly what laws come into play, and I really don’t want to find out.”

  He walked toward the bedroom, Kate and Emily trailing him.

  “I still can’t believe they think they’re entitled to force their way into our house. Did you know they might do this?” she asked.

  “I knew I’d have to inventory all of the company’s equipment with Ted, but I didn’t think they’d try to search the house. Ted looks frazzled, like he hasn’t slept in days. I’d be willing to bet that he’s taken some serious heat because of the samples. And you know what? I hope he has. Sorry about all of this, Emmie,” he said, peeking into her room.

  “Dad, those guys are really creeping me out,” she said.

  “I know, and I’m going to get rid of them. Sorry you had to hear all of that yelling, are you all right, sweetie?” he asked her.

  “I’m fine, Daddy. I was worried about Mommy when you weren’t here. They weren’t very nice to her.”

  He looked up at Kate; he could see tears forming in her eyes.

  “Do you feel better now that Daddy’s here?”

  “Yes,” Emily replied and hugged him.

  “Good. I would never let anything happen to you or Mommy,” he assured her, looking into her eyes and smiling.

  “Or Ryan?” she asked.

  “Or Ryan. Hey, hon, can you take our little sweetness into the bedroom and call out to Ryan in the backyard? Just tell him to stay in the backyard, and that everything’s okay in here. I saw him stretching near the picnic table when I was on my way up the stairs. If you could do that now, I have some pressing business downstairs. I don’t think Ted will leave unless I can motivate him” he said, still hugging Emily and giving Kate an urgent look.

  “Hey, Emily, let’s make sure Ryan stays in the backyard, and we can watch some TV,” Kate said, taking Emily’s hand and walking into the bedroom.

  Alex followed closely behind and slipped into the walk-in closet, located to the left of the bedroom door. He reached high up into the left front corner of the closet and pulled his Mossberg shotgun down from the top shelf. He had moved the shotgun to the closet a few days ago, late in the evening, creating a nest for it behind a long stack of sweatshirts. He took a key from a small hook along the inside of the closet door trim, opened the trigger lock on the shotgun, placed the lock on the shelf, and leaned the gun against the door frame.

  He kicked off his running shoes and pulled on a pair of old, faded jeans. Slipping his shoes back on his feet, he grabbed the shotgun and moved with purpose toward the staircase. On the way, he heard the men still arguing in the kitchen. He could definitely hear Ted’s unsettled voice, which reassured him that none of them were in the basement. He needed them all in one place for this to work.

  He got to the top of the stairs and stopped for a moment, removing all four of the shotgun shells from the stock of the weapon, where they were stored for a quick reload, and placed them in his back pocket. The shotgun was unloaded, but Alex knew he could have it loaded in a matter of seconds if they called his bluff and escalated the situation. He contemplated leaving the shells in the kids’ bathroom, but decided against it.

  He could hear Kate and Emily calling out to Ryan and was pretty sure he heard Ryan respond. He needed to make sure that Ryan was out of the picture, so he stepped into the kids’ bathroom and looked out of the window into the backyard. He felt a strong gust of wind through the window as he spotted Ryan on the picnic table, talking to the girls.

  Feels like that front is moving through. All right, here we go.

  He walked to the top of the stairs and started to descend. About halfway down the stairs, he heard Ted announce that he was going to grab a sledgehammer from the garage and break down the door. Jeff protested the plan immediately.

  This guy is amazing.

  He reached the bottom of the stairs and took an immediate left into the great room. The squabble in the kitchen quieted as they realized that he was back on the ground floor of the house. His plan was to get behind them and force them out the front of the house. He’d prefer to drive them toward the front door and not the mudroom. By moving them toward the front door, they would be visible to him the entire time.

  He assumed that the sight of the shotgun would scatter them pretty quickly, especially Ted, though he was slightly concerned about Carl. Carl struck him as fearless, and Alex wouldn’t be surprised if Carl declared bullshit. All of these thoughts floated through his head as he rounded the great room corner and confronted the bickering trio.

  “I agree with Jeff. I think you should all leave. Right…fucking…now,” he said in a conversational tone, keeping the shotgun pointed at the floor.

  Jeff spotted the shotgun first. “Take it easy, dude, we’re on our way out,” he said, raising his hands in front of him.

  Ted’s eyes widened to fill his glasses. Carl immediately put his right hand down to his pepper spray pouch, as Ted gasped and fell back into Carl. Ted hit Carl’s solid chassis and stopped. Carl pushed him aside with his free hand, knocking him into the wall to the left of the group. He knocked loose a framed picture from the wall, which became lodged between Ted and the wall. Ted moved his hand behind him to catch the frame. He lowered it to the ground behind him, unbroken, never taking his eyes off Alex.

  Alex moved into the dining area, swiftly putting the kitchen island between him and the men. He raised the shotgun above the level of the island’s granite surface to keep it visible, but did not point the weapon at any of the men, instead keeping it pointed toward the mudroom, hoping to dissuade them from moving in that direction. At that point, he felt that he had their attention.

  “That’s not exactly a good instinct you have there, Carl. Sudden moves and shotguns? Not a good idea at all.”

  All three of them watched him intensely, Carl wearing a look of sheer hatred, which worried Alex.

  This guy can’t stand the fact that he’s lost control of the situation.

  Ted looked paralyzed, which wasn’t ideal either. He had hoped that Ted would order them out of the house at the sight of the shotgun, but it appeared that he was no longer in control of either himself or the other men. Jeff showed a composed fear. He was edging toward the front door, which slightly eased Alex’s concerns about the situation.

  “Jeff here seems like the brains of this operation, so I recommend you all follow his lead and head out the front door. I’ll place all of this equipment on the walkway, and then Ted and I can finish the inventory, while the two of you wait in the car. I’ll leave the shotgun inside, Ted, don’t worry. Let’s go. Out the front door…now,” he snarled.

  Finally, Ted managed to speak; his voice cracked. “This is legitimate company business, and you have no right to point a gun at us. I don’t—”

  “I haven’t pointed a gun at anyone, right, Jeff? I just wanted to show off my brand new shotgun to a couple of firearms enthusiasts. And regarding all of this as being legitimate? Give me a break, Ted. I’m sure Michelle wouldn’t approve of your plan to bust down doors with a stolen sledgehammer. Then again, she’s out of her skull, too. Keep walking, all of you,” he said firmly, moving around the side of the island to herd them toward the door.

  Carl’s eyes burned a hole in Alex’s face, and his hand was still defiantly placed on the pepper spray pouch. All three of them continued moving down the hallway to the foyer. Jeff reached the door first and opened the glass storm door.

  “Jeff, could you press the button down there to keep the door open?” Alex requested.

  Jeff nodded and pushed the button on the bottom hydraulic closer with his foot. He let go of the door, and it stayed open for Ted and Carl.

  “You know, it was Michelle’s idea to hire these guys. She was pretty pissed at you. I told
her it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted,” Ted told him smugly.

  “Then you’re both fucking idiots, Ted,” Alex said.

  Both Carl and Ted exited the house and started walking down the walkway, toward the driveway. Jeff was well ahead of them, almost at Ted’s car. Carl was walking away, still watching Alex, his hand still on the pepper spray case. Alex placed the shotgun against the wall on the inside of the house and stepped out onto the rough granite block steps. Carl covertly flipped open the cap on the pepper spray, staring at Alex and slowing his walk.

  “Bad idea, Carl. Bad idea. Ted, I want you to pull your car into the street. I don’t want these guys on my property. Carl here has a death wish. I’ll start loading the gear onto the porch when these two are off my property,” Alex said, stepping halfway into the house and keeping his eyes fixed on Carl’s enraged face.

  “We’ll just have ourselves a nice talk with the cops about your shotgun,” Carl yelled.

  “Oh, I didn’t bother to call the police, Carl,” Alex said.

  “What the...you said…?”

  “That I was calling 911? Nope. Keep moving or the next town official on the scene will be the coroner.”

  Alex watched as Ted moved both cars onto the street. Carl took a seat on the hood of Alex’s former company car and lit a cigarette from a pack he pulled from his back pocket. Jeff stood behind Ted’s car, keeping an eye on the front door of the house. Momentarily satisfied that Carl didn’t plan to charge the house, Alex stepped back inside to grab the gear off the kitchen island.

  He called up the stairs to Kate. “Hey, hon?”

  “Yeah? Are those jackasses gone?” she yelled from the bedroom.

  “Yeah, they’re outside waiting,” he said. He could hear her walking down the upstairs hallway, saw her appear at the top of the stairs, and shiver.

  “Wow, that’s a chilly breeze. No more T-shirts, huh?” she said.

  “Hey, the guys are out of the house. What’s Emily up to?” he asked.

  “She’s watching the Disney Channel in our room.”