“Ninety-nine percent of me doesn’t believe it, but there’s that tiny one percent that can’t let it go. That wonders if my father is part of the reason I’m on the team or was made a captain.” My heart lurches as I give voice to the thoughts racing through my head.
“I’ve watched you play. There’s no way that’s possible. Everything you’ve achieved is because of your hard work and commitment to the sport. It has nothing to do with Coach.”
Rowan’s voice is filled with so much certainty. I wish I felt that secure in my own abilities and could easily brush off the comments. Let them go in one ear and out the other.
“This girl sounds jealous. She’s trying to knock you off your game. Don’t let her do it.”
My lips lift into a slight smile. “Now you sound like Sydney.”
How is it possible that Rowan Michaels—of all people—has made me feel better about this situation? A week ago, I could have never imagine confiding something so personal. And yet, here we are. It’s a little unnerving how quickly relationships can morph into something different.
He flashes me a grin. “Sydney is a smart girl. Maybe you should listen to her. She seems to know what she’s talking about.”
I snort as some of the heaviness weighing me down vanishes, leaving a surprising lightness in its place. “I doubt you’d say that if you knew what she’s encouraged me to do over the years.”
“That might be so, but in this instance, her assessment is spot-on. This Annica chick sounds jealous.”
“I don’t know.” That’s the one thing I can’t wrap my head around. Annica is a talented player. There’s no reason for jealousy. If she spent more time focusing on soccer and stopped trying to create drama where there is none, she could be better than I am.
When the younger girl came in as a freshman, I was blown away by her raw talent. I figured at some point; she would surpass me in skill. Instead of being threatened, I befriended her and tried to help her grow as a player. If she’s fallen short of her own expectations, that’s on her.
“Well, I do. Hopefully now that you’ve pulled her aside, she’ll lay off.”
As much as I want to believe that Annica will let go of her animosity and let bygones be bygones, I don’t think that will be the case. This seems more like a battle to the death.
Much like earlier this afternoon when we were stretched out on the football field, a strange calmness falls over me. Hashing out this problem with Rowan has helped me to feel more settled. Nothing has been solved, but all the noise in my head is more of a whisper.
How is it possible that in the course of one day, I’ve had two conversations with Rowan that have had more depth than any we’ve had in the seven years we’ve known each other?
And it’s actually been...dare I say...nice?
Yeah, I just admitted it. We’re spending time together, and I’m actually enjoying it. Trust me, no one could be more surprised by this turn of events. And it kind of makes me want to...I don’t know...spend more time with him?
Oh, boy.
I clear my throat and try to banish all the peculiar feelings attempting to take root inside me before I force my gaze to the statistics book splayed open on the table. “It’s getting late. We should probably get started.”
For the next hour, we move painstakingly through each problem that Professor Peters assigned this morning in class. Rowan scoots his chair closer until his thigh brushes against mine. I become hyperaware of his woodsy aftershave and the cedarwood scent of the shampoo he must have used after practice. The combination is oddly distracting, and I find myself leaning in to suck in a greedy lungful of him. When I catch myself doing it for the third time, I jerk away and refocus my thoughts.
The realization of why I’ve gone out of my way to avoid him hits me like a Mack Truck. He makes me feel things I’m not necessarily comfortable with. In the past, I’ve convinced myself that I found him annoying. Now that we’ve scratched beneath the surface of our relationship, I can finally admit that it’s not true. It was all a smokescreen. A way to keep myself separated from him. What I’ve come to understand is that I actually like Rowan.
More than I thought possible.
More than I want to.
And definitely more than I should.
Today, unfortunately, has been a day for revelations.
“There.” Unaware of the disturbing thoughts crashing around inside my head, Rowan slides the notebook toward me to check his work.
I blink and focus on the problem that swims before my eyes. It takes far more effort than necessary to work through the steps. “Yup,” I say, slightly rattled by the emotions flooding through me, “you got it.”
When the edges of his lips quirk, something dangerous pings at the bottom of my belly. His eyes darken, and my breath gets trapped at the back of my throat making it impossible to breathe. He draws closer until I’m able to decipher all the stunning flecks that make up the ocean-like color. Saturday night slams into my consciousness, and I recall what it felt like to be pressed against the steely strength of his body.
How I’d wanted him to kiss me, and the disappointment that had flooded through me when he backed away. The library, with its rows of shelves and desks that line the perimeter, fade to the background until it’s only the two of us. He’s all I see. All I’m aware of. My head turns fuzzy from lack of oxygen. It’s a strange sensation, but one that’s not entirely unpleasant. Almost like being drunk.
Everything in me becomes whipcord tight. Time stretches as the distance between us is eaten up. He’s so close that I can feel his warm breath as it drifts across my lips.
This is it. He’s going to kiss me.
And you know what?
I’m going to let him.
After all the crap today, I need it. I need to feel the firm pressure of his mouth coasting over mine, dragging me under so I no longer have to think. As my eyelids feather shut, a chirpy chorus of voices knock me from the strange paralysis that has taken hold.
“Hi, Rowan!”
I lurch back so fast that I almost give myself whiplash.
His gaze reluctantly shifts from me to the two girls who have sidled up beside our table. A smile curves his lips, but the intensity isn’t the same as the one that had been aimed in my direction. “Hey. What’s up?”
I release a steady puff of air and try to get a grip. My heart is thumping like it’ll explode from my chest. I can’t believe that almost happened. What the hell had I been thinking?
The brunette slinks closer, all the while flashing him a wide grin. Those pearly whites are nearly blinding in their intensity. She has the look of a hungry shark. I think we all know what she would like to gobble up in one tasty bite.
“Mandy and I were heading over to a party at the Sigma Kappa house.” She invades his personal space before fluttering a hand over his shoulder. “You should come with us.” She shoots her friend a sly look. “It’ll be so much fun!”
I know exactly what that look means. Apparently, the three of them know each other well.
Intimately so.
Since it’s doubtful an invitation will be extended my way, I take this as my cue to get the hell out of Dodge. It only goes to show what kind of day I had if Rowan Michaels was able to burrow beneath my skin so easily. I’ve spent the last seven years keeping the handsome football player at a distance. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that I’m going to have to work a little harder to resurrect the walls that have been knocked down. Especially when he’s every inch of the player I suspected.
I don’t need someone like that in my life.
“That sounds fun but—”
Before he can get the rest out, I shoot to my feet. “I’m going to take off.”
“Wait—”
With my eyes averted, I shake my head. “I’ve still got my own work to finish up. I need to get moving.”
“Oh.” His voice drops, disappointment coloring the deep timbre.
Even though I tell myself not to
do it, my gaze flickers in his direction. “I’ll see you in class on Wednesday.”
“Yeah, sure.” Before I can get trapped in the blueness of his eyes, I shove my materials into my bag and hightail it to the staircase. It’s a relief when I push through the glass doors on the ground floor, and the cool night breeze wafts over my heated cheeks.
All I know is that what occurred in the library can’t happen again.
I’ve put Rowan in a little box marked do not touch, and that’s exactly where he needs to stay.
16
Demi
“There are so many parties happening tonight. And girl, I need it. I plan to cut way loose.”
I glance at Sydney as she barges into my room and flops onto my bed.
A frown settles on her face as her gaze drops to the canvas bag I’m filling with clothes. “What are you doing?”
“Dad is out of town for the weekend, so I thought I’d head home and chill out.”
“What?” She jerks upright from her prone position. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. It’s been a tough week. Instead of the rumors dying down after a couple of days, they’re flying all over school. When I’m on campus, people point and whisper. It makes me feel like a bug under a microscope. None of the stories I’ve heard are accurate. Some are plain outlandish. It’s like the headlines of my life have been ripped straight from the storyline of Gossip Girl.
“I need to get out of here for a while.” If I’m lucky, someone else’s life will implode this weekend, and when I return to Western on Monday, everything will magically be back to normal.
Dinner on Wednesday with Dad and Rowan was awkward. I spent most of the time worrying that my father had not only caught wind of the rumors but might actually believe them. If he had, he never mentioned them. The rest of the time I spent avoiding Rowan, which is difficult to do when there are only three people in attendance. I stuck to Dad’s side like glue before taking off as soon as the dishes were done.
“Running away won’t solve anything.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” Okay...so that’s exactly what I’m doing. I deserve a break. This whole week, I held my head high and ignored all the sly comments and knowing looks sent my way. I can’t do it any longer. “Want to come with me? We can chill and catch some rays by the pool.”
“Can’t.” She shakes her head. “I told Ethan that we would have dinner and hash out some stuff, and then we were going to meet up with a few girls from the team. I figured you’d need a drink as much as I do.”
“I think what will help the most is to get away from this place.” I don’t mention that I need to put a little distance between Rowan and myself.
Sydney stretches out on the bed and stares at the ceiling. “Annica better hope I don’t run into her tonight. I know that little bitch is behind all this.”
Her and Justin are running their mouths all over campus.
The dynamic duo.
What’s hilarious—not to mention ironic—is that I’m not the one who cheated. It was the two of them. And yet, I’m the one being talked about. It’s my name being dragged through the mud.
I toss a black bikini into the bag. This weekend is supposed to be gorgeous. I plan to spend at least part of Saturday and Sunday laying out by the pool relaxing. With any luck, I’ll forget all about this mess. At least for a few days. “Please don’t do anything that will get you in trouble, okay? Annica isn’t worth it.”
Sydney waves a hand. “Please, you know me better than that.”
My gaze slices to her. “Yeah, that’s why I’m saying it.”
She snorts. “I’ll try to control myself to the best of my ability.”
“And don’t drink too much. I won’t be around to talk you off the ledge.” The one weekend I was gone last year, Sydney got into a wicked fight and punched some girl who had been making moves on her man.
She sits up and points a finger at me. “Hey! I told that skank what would happen if she kept it up. It’s not my fault she didn’t take the warning seriously. I have zero regrets!”
“That’s part of the problem. You’re damn lucky Coach Adams was able to get you out of that mess, or you would’ve had to take anger management classes.”
She grumbles at the reminder.
I’ve known Sydney for three years, and I learned quickly that she’s not someone to be messed with. The girl is a bad bitch. She may look all sweet and innocent with her blond hair and vibrant green eyes, but beneath the doll-like exterior lies a temper that explodes as easily as dynamite. That’s what happens when you have five older brothers. You learn to kick a little ass. Sydney is accustomed to sticking up for herself and fighting for what she wants.
When I’m done filling the duffle bag, I zip it up and hoist it over my shoulder. “I’ll be back late Sunday afternoon. Call me if you change your mind and want to stop over.”
She rises to her feet. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yup. A break will do me good.”
Fine,” she mutters, “but I’ll miss you.”
I pull her in for a quick hug. Sydney has always been a good friend. I’m lucky to have her. “Plus, you’ll have the apartment all to yourself. You can be as loud as you want.”
“You know that I’m always loud.” She squeezes me before stepping away. “It’s never good to hold your feelings inside. It messes up your Chi.”
She’s right about being noisy. The girl has no shame.
Sydney walks me to the door. With a wave, I slip into the hallway and out of the building. Once I settle in the front seat of my white Jeep and start the engine, relief courses through me. Every mile I put between myself and campus has the tension leaking from my body. By the time I pull into the driveway of my house, I feel almost normal again.
My plans for the weekend include—ordering pizza, binge watching Supernatural, and taking a dip in the heated pool. Dad will be closing it up in a few weeks, so I want to enjoy it while I can.
As I shove the key in the lock and walk through the front door, I realize that I made the right decision. This is exactly what I needed. A little time to myself to relax, rewind, and reset.
With any luck, by the time I head back to campus, my perspective will be restored.
17
Rowan
I lift a bottle of beer to my lips as my gaze coasts over the crowd. The music is pumping, a group of frat guys is playing a game of cups near the makeshift bar, and some underclassman threw up all over himself in a corner. In other words, it’s another weekend here at WU. Under normal circumstances, my ass wouldn’t be out on a Friday night. I would have eaten a carb-loaded dinner to give me energy and hit the sheets early. But it’s a bye week, so there isn’t a game scheduled. I spot a few teammates, it’s only nine o’clock, and a couple of the younger guys are already shitfaced.
It’s not a good look. Coach would have their asses if he realized they were out partying it up. Bye week or not.
During the season, I’ll have a beer or two. But no more than that. Getting tanked lost its appeal a long time ago. Maybe when I first stepped foot on campus, I went a little crazy and enjoyed the freedom, but it didn’t last long. I have too much riding on the line to throw it away on partying. I’ve spent years working toward my dreams of turning pro. Now that I’m so close to making it a reality, there’s no way in hell I’m going to jeopardize it.
There’s one particular face I’ve been looking for. So far, she’s remained elusive. This week has given Demi a swift kick in the ass. I wouldn’t blame her for sitting this one out. Although, for obvious reasons, I’m hoping that’s not the case.
As I continue to search from where I’ve taken up sentinel, slender arms snake their way around me from behind. A moment later, breasts are squashed against my back. “Hey, Rowan,” comes a silky voice against my ear, “I was hoping to run into you tonight.”
Great...Harper Davenport. Just who I didn’t want to see.
“Hey, Harp.”
Now I need to figure out an extraction plan. Sooner rather than later. There are definitely times when an escape hatch would come in handy. This is one of them.
“I haven’t seen you around lately.” As she presses closer, her nipples pebble through the thin shirt she’s wearing. “It’s almost like you’re avoiding me.”
Yeah, well, there’s an excellent reason for that.
I made the epic mistake of fooling around with Harper freshman year, and she’s been stalking my movements ever since. That’s not me being egotistical. It’s the truth. I’ve tried my best to let her down gently, but she refuses to take the hint that I’ve moved on and am not interested in a repeat performance.
When her fingers migrate south of the border, I grab hold of them to stop their descent before they reach their intended destination. Maybe some guys are cool with getting a handy in the middle of a crowded house party, but that’s never been my style.
“Wanna take this somewhere private?” she asks, voice full of sultry promise.
Hell, no. That’s the last thing I want. I’ve given this girl zero encouragement, and she refuses to leave me alone. There are plenty of guys who would give their left nut to spend a little one-on-one time alone with her. She’s gorgeous with a banging body.
But I’m not one of them.
“Sorry, Harp. Not tonight.” I unwind her arms before pulling her around in front of me. I’m careful to keep her at arm’s length. She’s like a snake; once she gets ahold of you, it’s damn hard to get her uncoiled.
She thrusts out her bottom lip in a pout meant to be sexy but comes off as toddler-ish. “You say that every time.”
The girl’s got me there.
“Why is that?” She squeezes her arms against the outer sides of her breasts, pressing them together so I get a good look down the front of her cleavage. “Aren’t you interested?”
Hard no.
“Well...” I’m about to level with her for the umpteenth time when I catch sight of Sydney. Anticipation shoots through me as I comb the immediate vicinity for Demi. Those two are usually attached at the hip. “I need to talk with someone. I’ll catch you later.”
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