‘He wasn’t always like that.’
‘Your loyalty to him does you credit, but it also blinds you to the truth.’
‘Which is?’
‘Cain and Morrigan fear you because you are a Nexus.’
‘A Nexus?’
‘Yes. A Nexus. You and your power are at the centre of things. It has been at the centre of things for a very long time.’
‘My past life?’
‘Yes. Morrigan found you and took you because of this. She sought to use that to her advantage by damaging you beyond repair, twisting you to her needs.’
‘She didn’t succeed.’
‘That is yet to be seen. There are changes coming, choices to be made, it will be up to you to decide which direction the path will continue along for us all.’
Eloise shivered, suddenly cold. In the distance, the sea changed. Waves thundered across the horizon, surging closer. Dark sickly green-grey clouds above turned the sapphire blue to a deep, ominous, swirling green that was so dark it looked black. Eloise wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged tight. ‘But that’s not fair. How can everything come down to a decision I make?’
‘Because you are a Nexus, my child. You always have been.’
Eloise hissed in frustration. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘You will.’
‘But how?’
‘Find answers in the past to your future.’
‘That makes no sense.’
‘It makes the only sense worth having. I must go now.’ The Goddess’s voice began to fade. ‘Trust in what you feel, my child. Discover your history—both of them. In those you will find your truth. For now, we must return from whence we came. You have been here too long. As have I.’
‘No. Don’t go. I need help. I can’t do this on my own.’
‘You are never alone.’ The words echoed into silence.
Eloise sprang to her feet, panic rising to squeeze her chest as she realised she was alone. ‘Come back. Come back.’ The Goddess was wrong. She was alone. Left alone once again to face the coming storm.
The world turned wild around her, as if thinking of the storm she faced going against Morrigan had brought it into reality. Bright sun turned to the eerie black-green of a coming thunderstorm. Lighting flashed, closer, closer. Thunder rumbled louder. The wind turned cold and bitter, pulling at her hair, tearing at her clothes. The rich scents of sun and sand and surf overcome with the nasty miasma of rotten seaweed and too much salt.
Icy cold rain poured over the water, up the beach, drenching her in a few seconds. Wind buffeted her, making her stumble. The roiling mass of waves smashed up the beach towards her. The dark waves licked at her toes, the ice of them a spear through her maimed foot. A shard of pain shot up her leg and into her spine, forcing a short scream from her lips as she struggled to back away from that violent oily-dark froth.
Eloise. Seek the truth in me. The dark whisper came from the black waves at her feet, from the cold rain and buffeting wind pressing into her skin. I will give you all the answers. I will not fill your mind with useless riddles. Come into my arms. Join your coven once again and be strong.
‘No. No.’ She shook her head, backing away as fast as she could, but the waves kept coming, the wind smacking at her, shoving her back towards the waves. ‘They want to kill me.’
Not if you come willingly. Not if you help us. You must release them from captivity. You must free my servant, Cain, from his bonds. Then we will forgive all transgressions. Come to us, Eloise. Come.
She backed up, smacking into the cliff behind her, feet scrabbling to find purchase on ice-slicked rock. She didn’t want to fall back into that claustrophobic darkness. She didn’t belong there with them, surrounded by hatred. She didn’t want that. She wanted warmth and strength and acceptance and love. She wanted… ‘Iain! Iain!’ she screamed into the dark.
‘I’m here, Eloise.’ Strong fingers gripped her hand, held on.
But she couldn’t seem to rise out of the dark. ‘I can’t make it. It won’t let me,’ she cried, voice rough with fear and desperation.
‘I’ve got you, Eloise.’ Warmth wrapped around her. The soft press of lips warming the chill skin on her forehead, her cheeks, her eyelids, her lips. ‘I’ve got you. Just open your eyes and see.’
Eloise shuddered as she realised her eyes were closed. Opening them slowly, she looked up and into a gaze she trusted more than she trusted herself. ‘You’ve got me.’
‘I’ve got you.’
Chapter 10
Eloise woke from sleep, a warm muzzy feeling stealing over her. Soft sunlight tangled in her lashes as she rolled over and almost slipped off the couch.
‘Oops!’ she laughed, catching herself. How had she gotten on the couch? She’d been outside in the garden, trying to commune with the Goddess when… ‘Oh!’ Her vision. She sat bolt upright, swaying slightly as the room spun around her.
‘Steady there,’ Iain said, catching her before she truly did fall off the couch.
His arms were warm around her, and she wanted to sink into them. Being held by him forever sounded like a brilliant idea. That way she’d never have to face what she’d found out in the vision. But he began to pull away. She held onto him, fingers digging into his warm flesh. ‘Don’t go.’
‘I won’t.’ He stared into her upturned face, his expression inscrutable. Then, with a soft groan, he cupped her face and kissed her trembling lips. The kiss was soft, short, barely a brush of skin against skin, but the power of it sent shockwaves through her.
‘Why did you do that?’ she whispered as he pulled back to look at her again.
‘Because you needed it.’
‘Oh.’ Her fingers loosened on his shirt as disappointment sank deep into her stomach.
‘And because I wanted to.’
‘Oh.’ Her fingers flexed, tightened. Words bubbled up inside her, words she couldn’t hold back. ‘I want to kiss you too.’
His breath puffed against her face as the golden-amber of his gaze heated, deepened. But he didn’t move towards her again. Instead, he peered into her eyes. ‘Is that you saying that? Or the other person?’
Her gaze flickered from his eyes to his mouth and back again. ‘Me. I think.’
He swallowed, nodded, his thumbs stroking her face. ‘Well, until we’re certain, I think we maybe shouldn’t do it again.’
Her gaze flickered to his mouth. His fingers tightened on her face, thumbs sweeping close to the edges of her mouth. She swept her tongue out and touched one. He jerked.
‘Eloise. Stop that.’
‘No.’ She did it to the other, her gaze firmly on his mouth.
‘Eloise,’ he groaned.
‘Kiss me.’
He groaned again, but his fingers loosened, like he was about to pull away. She grabbed his wrists, holding his hands to her face, her gaze snapping to his eyes. ‘Kiss me, Iain. Me. Eloise. I need you to kiss me.’
His gaze flickered from her eyes to her mouth. Her lungs burned as she waited for him to pull away—she was certain he wasn’t going to give in. But then his fingers flexed and with a groan, he pulled her to him.
His lips pressed more firmly against hers this time, demanding. She demanded back. A low growl rumbled in his throat. He swept his tongue across the seam of hers. Everything in her jerked to life and she opened her mouth, letting him in. Their tongues tangled, the sensation like liquid fire racing through her veins. A sound like a purr rumbled in her throat.
‘Little cat,’ he smiled against her lips.
‘I thought I was your Little Bird.’
‘You are.’ His tongue tangled with hers again, forcing that sound from her throat again. ‘And so much more.’
She lost herself to the sensation of his lips moving on hers, breaths mingled, tongues dancing. She didn’t want this to ever stop.
Iain knew he should stop. He’d not kissed her since the presence had taken her over a week earlier and it had been one of the hardest things he’d ever
done. He shouldn’t have given in now, but when she’d looked at him like that, his control had gone up in a conflagration of withheld desire. He’d wanted to ravage her mouth all week—and now he was, he wanted more. He wanted to run his lips down her throat, to bite down gently on the pulse banging away at the base of her neck under his palms. Wanted to strip her naked and take her in every way possible. His wolf howled inside him, urging him to do it; to run his hand down her throat and hold her in that possessive grip, to mark her like a Were marked his mate.
He jerked back.
Mate!
No.
She couldn’t be his mate. Lone Wolves didn’t have mates. Certainly not him. He had more reason than any before him to know that was true. What happened to his parents had virtually tipped him over the edge. His wolf constantly walked that tightrope, closer to going rabid than any other. Jackson McVale had seen the truth of that, and so did Jason. That’s why they gave him permission to roam so long and so wide. Why they had always given him everything he needed to assuage his need for touch; a need that could never be truly fulfilled because those he had loved deepest had been stolen away from him at too young an age and made him responsible for a brother equally traumatised.
A mate for him was an impossibility. This with Eloise, it had to be something else. And yet, he’d never felt anything quite like it before. The voracious need to take, to possess and yet to give and protect, was stronger than he’d ever felt about anything or anyone, including pack. But a mate…
No. It couldn’t be.
He realised then she was staring at him, her fingers clenching on his shoulders, her body trembling, her luminous eyes full of tears.
‘Iain?’ Breath shuddered out of her. ‘You don’t want to kiss me.’ A tear tumbled down her cheek, caught on her lip.
‘Shh.’ How could she have known what he was thinking? Nobody had ever read him so easily before. Although she hadn’t quite got it right. He did want to kiss her, more than he wanted to breathe, he just knew he shouldn’t. But looking into her beautiful unique eyes, passion and desire blazing in their depths, he couldn’t make himself listen to his better instincts.
He pressed his lips against hers again, tasting the salty bitterness of the tear. ‘Shh.’ And again. He held her face so he could look into those luminous, desire-laden eyes. ‘I want you.’ Another kiss. ‘By the moon, how I want you.’ He ran his lips along her jaw, nipped her ear, made her jerk and moan as he sucked the lobe into his mouth, swirled his tongue over the delicate shell and then back to her mouth. ‘Do you believe me?’
She breathed a soft sigh of contentment into his mouth that sent golden warmth through his heart. So trusting. How could she be so trusting after what she’d been through? He wanted to ravage her, to take anything she was willing to give. But her trust made him realise he couldn’t do that to her. Instead, he gave her soft, settling kisses, his fingers brushing through her hair. He kissed her eyes, kissed the tears from her cheeks, nipped the pulse in her throat where he desperately wanted to mark her more deeply, but before he could, he made his way up her throat, back to her lips.
‘Iain,’ she breathed as he covered her lips with his. He tried to keep it soft, but her lips demanded, pulled at him, taunted him to let go, to give in to the urge to take, to ravage, to taste every part of her, to take her over the edge and make her scream his name as she came and then do it all over again until his scent was embedded in her skin and his in hers so nobody could mistake her as his and he was hers. But he didn’t.
Couldn’t.
She meshed her lips with his again, pressed her breasts in that thin T-shirt against his chest. By the moon he longed to feel the softness of that flesh against the hardness of his own.
No! Don’t think of her naked body. He had to pull back. Had to be sensible here.
‘We can’t do this now. Not yet. It isn’t the right time.’ Doubt flooded her eyes again and he couldn’t help but take her mouth in a ravaging kiss that had to make her understand that he didn’t want to pull back, but he had to. Pulling away before he lost control, he leaned his forehead against hers, their panting breaths mingling. ‘I can’t take advantage of you right now. Not while you’re still trying to come to terms with everything.’ Not while there were still secrets between them.
‘I want you to.’ She pushed her fingers into his hair, tipped her face back, lips parted in invitation. ‘I need you to.’
He groaned. ‘You’ll be the death of me, Eloise.’
‘And you’ll be the death of her if you don’t give in.’
He pulled away. Her eyes were swirling with gold again. ‘You!’
She smiled up at him, her lips an open invitation. ‘I am so glad to see you, beloved. Are you not glad to see me?’
‘Give me back Eloise.’
‘She is here.’ She settled back against the couch. ‘Why don’t you want her now?’
‘I want her. I don’t want you.’
‘We are one and the same.’
‘No. You’re not.’
‘You talk as if you think me evil.’
‘For all I know, you are.’
‘You know I am not. I could not reside inside such goodness without tainting it if I were evil. But that is not the point. Why will you not give in, beloved? I know you want to. I know you feel she is your mate.’
‘I am a Lone Wolf. I cannot have a mate.’
A sound hissed out of her lips. ‘My beloved was a Lone Wolf too. Yet he gave in to the urge of the mate-bond.’
‘With you?’ That was impossible. She was lying—although, why would she lie?
‘With me. Only me. Forever me.’
‘And who are you?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’ She blew a kiss and smiled, a mischievous smile that looked at home on Eloise’s face.
‘Why are you here?’
‘To try to finish what was started many moons ago. To right a great injustice.’
‘Why do you need Eloise to do it?’
‘Because we are the Nexus.’
‘What’s a nexus?’
‘Eloise will tell you.’
‘She knows?’
‘The Goddess spoke to her of things she needs to be aware of. But as with all things, it will take time for her to understand. Why should you know before she does?’
Iain growled at the circular answer and tried another tack. ‘Why now?’
‘I can only rise to the surface for short periods of time during extreme emotional turbulence.’ The smile widened into something he could only describe as wolfish and her gaze raked up and down his body. ‘And you, beloved, cause her extreme emotional turbulence.’
‘Me? Or the man I once was?’
‘She does not respond to anyone but you. It is only I who see in you the man you once were.’ She closed her eyes. ‘This is tiring. She is rising to the surface again, and I cannot fight her.’ Those glowing golden eyes opened again, making him shiver as they stared at him with an intensity that stroked him all the way to his soul. ‘Watch over us, beloved, and think on what I have said.’
And then she was gone and Eloise slumped back on the couch. He caught her up, afraid to lose her again. ‘Eloise?’
‘Hmm?’ She blinked up at him. ‘You stopped kissing me.’
He brushed his fingers over her cheek and she rubbed against them, just like a cat. Tenderness swept through him, a tenderness completely at odds with the ferocity of his wolf, and yet perfectly right. ‘The presence took over you again.’
‘I know. She interrupted our kissing. She shouldn’t have done that.’
‘Oh good, you’re awake.’ Iain swung around to see Bron, River, Shelley and Adam striding in the back door.
‘Are you ready to tell us what happened in your vision yet?’
‘Adam!’
He ignored Shelley’s slap, just leaned against the kitchen counter facing them, arms crossed. ‘Well?’
‘No. She’s not bloody ready. The presence just took over her
again. And you were right, Bron. It was a past-life presence.’
‘You spoke to it?’
‘Her. I spoke to her.’
‘Why does she only speak to you?’
‘She says I was her mate in a past life.’
‘Really?’ Bron’s eyes lit with interest.
‘That’s not important right now.’ He sent her a stern look. She smiled, a knowing look in her eyes he didn’t like.
‘So, what else did the presence say?’ Shelley asked.
‘She said I was the Nexus,’ Eloise whispered. ‘It’s exactly what the Goddess said.’
‘Tell us.’
Eloise frowned and told them everything she could remember from the vision.
Once she was done, Bron blew out a breath. ‘Well, for a first-time vision quest, that was pretty impressive.’
‘I’ve never managed a full-blown vision like that,’ Shelley said. ‘Must be something different in her power from ours.’
‘When the Goddess said I was the Nexus, I didn’t want to believe it was true. But the way the Darkness came after me when the Goddess left, its desperation to have me back…’ She shuddered and looked up at them. ‘And now my past-life self says the same thing. What does it mean?’
‘I don’t know,’ Bron said, visibly shaken. ‘But whatever it means, it’s something significant. You’re important, Eloise. More important than any of us ever guessed. We thought luck had brought you to us.’ She looked around at the others. ‘Maybe it was fate.’
‘What else did the presence say?’
Iain shrugged. ‘Nothing else important.’
Eloise knew that wasn’t true—it had said they were soulmates—but she wasn’t going to bring that up in front of everyone. So she said, ‘There was something else the Darkness said.’ She looked down at her hands, picking at her fingernails. ‘I’m sure it was a lie, but it told me you have Cain and other coven members. Why would it say that?’
Iain stiffened. She felt the significant looks pass over her head without having to see them. Looking up, her skin prickled with cold as she saw Bron’s guilty expression, Shelley’s shock and Adam’s furious scowl. Slowly, she turned to Iain. ‘You have my brother? My friends?’
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