One More Breath

by Delaney Williams

  It is then that Ander decides since he has pulled in one daughter and started his family, he is apparently going all in. I mean, we haven’t heard a heartbeat or anything, but he is excited about this baby. He sits Lola down and tells her she will have a sibling soon.

  Lola gets all wide-eyed, like little girls do when babies are brought up. She looks at me. “Mom said you couldn’t have kids. She said Dad would never stay with you because he wanted a family, just not with me. She was trying to win him back because she could dump me off now that I’m an adult. I thought I would be homeless today, but now I have a family and a new sister or brother. This is even better than my birthday!”

  She jumps from the couch and hugs us both, then runs for her room. Ander just looks at me and pulls me onto his lap. He then grabs the phone and makes his own calls, landing us an appointment with a top OB/GYN the next day. Apparently, I am high risk… Not at all surprising, seeing as I’m not supposed to be having a baby in the first place.

  We spend the rest of the day as a family, talking and laughing, arguing and making up. It is heaven, but I know it can’t last.

  ANDER

  After such an awesome day spent as a family, I have to work the next day until our doctor’s appointment, as does Leire. Thankfully, she can easily have a TA teach one of her lower level classes if she needs to. I decide a doctor’s appointment for a miracle baby calls for it. Thankfully, she listens and makes arrangements with her TA to be done by a certain time so we can meet and go to the appointment together.

  According to the oncologist she talked to, she has to be about two to three months along. From what I’ve researched, this is good news. It seems that the three month point is a “safe” zone so the closer to it, the better. If she got pregnant the first time, we could be at two-and-a-half months now. Yes, I remember it like it was yesterday, and yes, I did the math.

  After working on a few flash pieces and one sweet mechanical heart, I call it a day and leave to meet Leire. I have so many questions for the doctor, but sex is at the top of my list. Can we have sex? Are there any positions we should avoid?

  I park at the college and run to Leire’s office, only to find out she is still in class. I meander around the school, listening to the women catcall at me. And women think men are the only ones guilty of that. Some of the stuff coming from their mouths is making even me blush, and I am a known player. Then, I realize Lola is their age, which nearly makes me throw up in the quad. I’m old enough to be their dad! I walk to her class and walk in just as she is finishing up. I can hear the girls in the class giggle and talk, but I don’t care anymore. I have my woman in view and life is perfect.

  She looks up and smiles at me, unknowingly placing her hand on her abdomen as she runs over. I lift her up and kiss her hard. Unfortunately, we forget the class is still walking out and we start getting comments about getting a room. I never knew Leire could turn so red. I place her down. Feeling a rise in my pants, I realize it’s been too long. I need sex with this woman soon. This appointment better give us good news on the sex front.

  Leire packs up her stuff and we walk to her office, where we speak to her TA about the class, make sure things are covered, then head out.

  On the way to the appointment, Leire is quiet and visibly sweating. “Baby, what is it?”

  “Ander, the only memories I have of doctors are bad. It’s hard for me to willingly go to an appointment, even for something like this. I should be happy and joyous, but all I see are the x-rays, needles, and pain. So I am having a mild panic attack. I’m okay, just let me breathe through it. The baby and I will be fine.” I wonder if she said that final part for me or more for herself.

  Does this mean the day she snuck to the doctor and I had punished her, she had dealt with this on her own? When will she learn that I am here with her? I hold her hand and squeeze it. “Baby, you don’t need to panic, but if you do, let me help you. It is not Leire versus the world anymore. It is our family together through it all. If you panic, give it to me so I can hold you through it, okay? So, hold my hand, breathe, and we will get through this together.”

  She nods and calms down for the rest of the drive. Not that she is relaxed, but her breathing has slowed and she is no longer sweating. When we get to the doctor’s office and I get her settled in a chair, I can tell that she’s zoned out. I check her in, but not being married or even having discussed insurance, I can’t do the forms without her. So, ignoring the stares from the women around me, I kneel down in front of her and pull her face up to look into my eyes. Her entire vision is me.

  “Leire, baby, I know you are scared, but look at me. Really look at me. See me. See that I am here. Hold my hand, hug my body, do something to show me that we can do this because I cannot do this without you. I need you. You, this baby, and Lola are my everything. So let’s do this together, okay? I know you are terrified, but we are going to get good news. We get to hear the heartbeat. We get to see the baby. There is so much we are going to learn today. Hell, baby, we can find out about sex. Damn, I miss sex.”

  When I get a smile, I know she is back. She grabs my hand and I lift her to sit on my lap. Together, we fill out the paperwork. Then, with her curled in my lap and all the other women staring at their husbands and partners, we wait. When her name is called, she freezes, but I won’t let her withdraw again. I pull her up and into a kiss, then turn and lead her into the exam room.

  Once in the room, the nurse instructs her to strip down and put on the gown, then leaves us alone. After giving us enough time for Leire to change and settle on the table, the nurse returns with the doctor. Briefly, the doctor goes over our timeline. Thankfully, I had figured that out already and was able to answer this because Leire has drifted off again. I am beginning to get fearful until the doctor says the fear is common, especially amongst those with lengthy and scary medical histories. At that, I try to relax and answer the questions to the best of my ability. Leire interjects here and there with something pertinent, but is mainly quiet.

  When they decide she is probably far enough along for an ultrasound, they pull a machine over and apply the ultrasound gel all over her still flat belly. It is then that she begins to wake up. She grabs my hand as the doctor begins to move the wand around. Immediately, the room is filled with the sound of a fast and strong heartbeat. Our child’s heartbeat. It is then that Leire loses it and starts crying. I admit, I had tears in my eyes, too. We try to hold it together while the doctor does her thing. At one point, she flips a switch, turning on a monitor in front of us so we can actually see the baby. She points out the feet and hands, the head and heart, telling us the baby looks healthy. When I look at Leire, she looks like a new woman. She is still crying, but is glowing at the same time. She is no longer a woman walking to her death, but one who’s had a rebirth.

  Now I get to ask my questions. Yes to sex, within normal limits, nothing that could harm Leire enough to harm the baby. Yes, the doctor now knows about my sex life. How many fucks do I give? None. I get to still have sex and I am getting it tonight. The end.

  We’re told the due date is slightly less than six months away, and we’re given multiple little photos. Leire has taken to calling it “bug”, so bug it is. She is glowing, staring at the pictures and holding her tummy, a completely different person than when we arrived.

  LEIRE

  It is real! I am having a baby! We heard the heartbeat, and saw its little hands and feet. I can’t tear my eyes from the pictures of my bug long enough to look up at Ander, so I don’t notice he has guided me into an exclusive jewelry store. I look up, astounded, and stare at him.

  “What are you doing, Ander? You promised we didn’t have to do this fast or at all. I don’t want you to feel forced or rushed just because you saw the baby. The baby is ours, whether we are married or not, you know?” I tell him.

  “Baby,” he answers, “I know this. However, while filling out all that information, I realized I don’t have very many rights. Yes, I am marked as the fathe
r, but if something were to happen, I would not be notified. And yes, this could all be taken care of legally without being married, but I knew I wanted to marry you from the start. We are having a baby together and we are going to be a mom and dad. We are going to do this together. Say yes. Tell me you will marry me, pick a ring, and let’s do this thing.”

  Wow. What is a girl supposed to say to that? “Yes, Ander. I will marry you, but you will give me a few weeks to at least get a dress and church because I refuse to do this at a courthouse. I want flowers and Lola to be my maid of honor. I want you in a tux. And… Okay, now I want to pick a ring and go home so we can have sex because I can’t get the image of you in a tux out of my head.”

  He smirks. Jackass. Like he wasn’t already planning the same thing. We are going to need to put Lola’s and the baby’s room far from ours.

  I turn to the saleslady and ask her to show us the engagement rings. After about ten minutes of looking, I choose a simple princess-cut solitaire, and Ander purchases it on the spot. It will take a few days to be sized, then we can pick it up.

  With that done, he grabs my hand and rushes me to the car. I’m sure he broke some speed limit laws getting home, but once we walk in the door, my clothes start coming off. I am completely naked by the time I crawl onto the bed. The feel of his dick rubbing me through his clothes from behind has me moaning and rubbing back into it. He pushes me forward so I am ass up, face sideways into the bed. Then he leaves me like that. I stay still, wondering what he is going to do. Last time he used that amazing bar. I am hopeful for something just as fun.

  When he returns, he has four pairs of leather handcuffs. I am beginning to see why his bed has posts. “We do this my way now, and gentle later. Okay? Lola is at school so you can scream as loud as you want, but you may not come unless I tell you. Are we clear?”

  I nod. He attaches the cuffs, which are really supple and soft leather, to my wrists, then to the side posts, pulling my arms all the way out to my sides, making them immobile. I can pull as hard as I want, but they won’t move. He then repeats the process with my legs, placing a pillow under my belly so it is higher. I am now spread out over the bed. I have zero ability to move, and when he places a black mask over my eyes, my breathing speeds up and I’m sure I am dripping.

  I can hear him moving around behind me, hear the zipper of his pants and the shuffle of his feet as he undresses. I feel him behind me, teasing me with the wet head of his cock, running it up and down my crack, my whole body trying to pull him in.

  “You are mine now. That ring will be here soon and you have my child inside you. Mine. No one will touch what is mine. You understand that? I take care of everything you need. You work, you do your thing, but you always come to me for anything. We are a team, soon to be a family. Now, let’s see how ready you really are for me.” He shoves two fingers into my cunt, twisting them to find my spot. My hips start grinding.

  “Mmm… Someone wants this. Someone is so wet. I need to taste you.” And he does. Spread open, I can’t move, but I try to enjoy the overwhelming pleasure. When he finally quits, I am even more primed. All those orgasms are nothing compared to what I know he is going to give me.

  When he slams into me, I cry out and moan at the same time. He sets a brutal pace, speaking dirty words of which a dad should be ashamed. He continues at such a pace that I come at least twice more before he finally lets loose with a groan. He grabs my hair and pulls, arching my back while he comes, telling me I am a good girl and how proud he is. Then he pulls out and slaps my ass. I am so relaxed, I feel like jelly.

  He unties me from the bed, takes me to the monstrous bath, and bathes me. This time, he talks to me and the baby. He tells the bug about everything they will do together, about how life will be. He read somewhere that the baby can hear and recognize voices, so he is determined he or she will know him when he or she arrives.

  We bathe together, change the sheets I had completely soaked, and get ready for our daughter to get home. I need to get used to this cooking for more than one, and Ander needs to get used to being part of a family. Together, we can do this. Together, we can face anything, right?

  ANDER

  Somehow, it seems like overnight, my entire life has changed, and it all has to do with Leire. From hearing our baby’s heartbeat to the rescuing of my nearly adult daughter from her addicted mother, my life is in turmoil. Only I’m not so sure this is a bad thing. Leire and I are happy, engaged, and moving on, and Lola seems to be thriving under all the new attention I am sure she never got at home.

  As much as Leire is having a blast getting ready for the baby, she is still managing her normal class and office hours, coming home exhausted every night. She insists that’s how all moms are, so I don’t push. She’s also taken in Lola as her own. Lola is graduating from high school within a few months, and Leire wants her to have the best graduation party ever. She’s also decided we have to have the wedding in a month, putting her at just over four months along. That way, she will be able to hide her baby bump. This is where she and I disagree. Although I am happy to get married fast, I want her to show off the baby. Apparently, she informs me that opens up a whole bucket of gossip even I won’t be able to ignore. So, Leire is planning for the baby, graduation, and the wedding, along with teaching. No wonder she is so spent at the end of the day.

  Even though we both work, I am quick to learn that professors make shit for money unless they are big names, published, or well-known in their field. Leire is content to just be herself, and her paycheck reflects that. Therefore, I find myself picking up more and more hours at the Rose. Also, I pick up the ring and place it on her finger. Eat your hearts out, you little hornballs in her classes! Mine.

  The Rose is thriving. All of my hard work has finally paid off and we are booked weeks in advance. I am thrilled but achy at the end of the day. I have people flying in from all over just to get tattoos by me. Hell, I have rock stars and celebrities making appointments and still having to wait. However, as happy as I am, I can’t help but feel something bad is going to happen.

  The more time progresses, the grumpier Wyatt gets and I have no clue as to why. He just keeps working hard, turning out more and more amazing tats. I also notice he is playing his guitar more and more in his free time. This Wyatt, the man who has always been with me and is my best friend, is becoming someone I hardly know. I need to find a way to deal with that while dealing with a full schedule, a wedding, a graduation, and a baby. Man, this must be what overwhelmed feels like.

  As the weeks go by, the wedding gets closer, and because of the speed and very small size, Leire decides on a destination wedding so we can have our honeymoon directly after and our friends, mainly Wyatt, can have some time off. His grumpy nature has grown so bad, even Leire can hardly handle him anymore. The only time he seems at peace is when Lola is in the shop and we are all discussing her upcoming graduation and college. Since the wedding is destination, it is rather easy for Leire to end up planning. The resort does it all. This means that she moves on to the next thing…graduation.

  Amazingly, Lola is graduating with honors. I learned her mother had virtually no involvement in her education, which makes me even angrier at Brittany. Even though she has not made a peep about my taking away her parental rights, I know I need to get it legalized. I have started that process, so I am waiting for her fury to come flying at me.

  I am now more thankful than ever for all the work I put into creating the best shop in the area because we are going to Turks and Caicos, then immediately returning to some amazing party Leire has been planning. It will be a small wedding…our parents, Wyatt, me, Leire, Lola, and Cora, who Leire has quickly pulled into our small family. While I have very little knowledge of the small woman, it seems Leire has learned a lot and wants to take her in. I have a feeling this is just how Leire is now that she’s coming out of her shell and making connections, taking in those who need love and comfort. It seemed that she had even cut her parents out in her attempt to �
��cause no harm” and the wedding would be a first time not only for me to meet them, but for her to see them in years.

  We still attend weekly check-ups for the baby. He or she, we don’t want to know, is progressing well. We are beyond thrilled. Everything is easily falling into place and I am building a family of my own. I have always had the support of my family, but I am doing this on my own.

  LIERE

  What a difference a few months makes. Just shy of four months ago, I was determined to remain alone and separate from the people around me due to my perception that I was broken. That no one would ever see me as anything more than a sick girl. Now I have friends and a growing family of my own.

  About two weeks before the actual wedding, I take Lola and Cora dress shopping. Since we don’t have time for major alterations, all the dresses need to be off the rack. We end up finding a cute little boutique selling unique dresses. They also do alterations on site. While I quickly settle on a simple sheath dress, which works for the beach and for hiding my small baby bump, the girls take slightly longer. It is during this time that I learn a lot about both the women who are now staples in my life.

  Cora, though supremely content with her job at the shop, actually came from American royalty. Her family, it seems, is supremely well-known and wealthy for their breeding of race horses. Cora had been private schooled through college, attending Vassar. This small, currently purple-haired, pierced and tatted woman is a Vassar graduate?

  When she finished school, with a Veterinary degree, her parents expected her to return home to help with the company and be the lead vet. By then, Cora had enough, so she left. She left all the money and prestige, becoming the Cora we now know. This cute little girl is happier as a tattoo shop secretary than she was when she was pampered. I think I fall a little more in love with her, knowing all she has given up to continue to support Ander in his dream.