by C. J. Miller
“The same consulting firm that you sent to lend Qamsar a hand with the land mines?” Saafir asked, not liking the idea of his sister being involved in dangerous jobs.
“The very same. Turns out security consultants are in red-hot demand and the company has more work than they can handle. We’re talking about taking permanent positions with the company.”
His delicate sister working for a security consulting company? Saafir didn’t approve. He didn’t see how Harris would agree to it, either. Talking to his headstrong sister about it now was futile. When Laila wanted something, she got it. He made a mental note to bring it up with her later. Or maybe he was better off not knowing the details. “I’m calling to be sure you’re okay. We’ve had some more trouble in D.C.”
“More trouble? Do you want Harris and me to fly to D.C. to help?” Laila asked.
He wanted his family as far from him and Wasam as possible. “Stay where you are. I’m not interested in lining up more targets for Rabah Wasam. I want you and Harris to be on alert.”
“I’m the emir of Qamsar’s sister. We are always on alert.”
After he had talked to his sister for a few more minutes, his phone beeped that he had an incoming call. “Laila, I need to go. Another call.”
“Take care of yourself,” Laila said.
Saafir answered the call. It was Jafar again.
“We’ve gotten in touch with everyone from the committee except the rep from Stateside Oil. Virginia Anderson isn’t answering her phone and the guard assigned to watch her has been unreachable.”
“Keep trying to find her,” Saafir said, a heavy feeling of dread in his stomach. He needed to talk to Adham. Adham might not be physically able to defend and protect him, but his mind was sharp and trained on tactics and countermeasures.
If Saafir didn’t stop Wasam, it would end in more deaths, maybe even Sarah’s or his own.
* * *
“What’s their angle in taking Frederick?” Saafir asked. “To force my hand? Wasam believes I left him to rot in that prison. Why would he think I would do anything to save Frederick?”
Adham shifted in his hospital bed. He looked much better, his coloring strong and his eyes clear and alert. Saafir hated to burden him with problems, but he trusted Adham and his opinions.
“He knows you. He might believe you weren’t willing to risk anything to save him, but he knows Frederick is important to you.”
Molly linked her fingers through Adham’s. He didn’t pull away and Saafir was surprised by both Molly’s actions and Adham’s inaction to the gesture.
“With the oil fields on fire, we’re in no position to do anything with our oil,” Adham said. “Why not step away from the trade agreement and let him believe he’s won?”
“He won’t stop at the trade agreement. He’s selling the trade agreement to his followers as the reason I need to be removed, but Wasam wants the throne.”
Sarah squeezed his arm, a reminder of her unceasing support. “You need to stay strong. Don’t give him an inch. You know that saying. We should strike back.”
Fighting words from his usually diplomatic Sarah told him how involved she had become in Qamsar’s problems. In his problems. In his life. “The leaders in the Conservative party have been publicly denouncing Wasam. He must know he’s losing power and he’s growing more desperate. How do you suggest we counter his actions?” Saafir asked.
“He loves to play to the media. When I was in Qamsar, every time I turned around he was yapping to the media about his problems and spouting his criticisms. Why don’t you use the media against him? You’ve stayed quiet and you’ve spoken to the press through official channels. You’ve maintained decorum and professionalism. Forget that. Give the media a good story. Distract him. Let him work to put out fires as quickly as you’ve had to.”
“If we change tactics, it will keep him guessing. That will buy us time,” Saafir said.
“Time for us to find Frederick,” Adham said.
“You are still on medical leave,” Saafir said, not willing to let his brother risk his health again.
Adham cracked his knuckles. “My doctors say the infection is better. It will be another day or two and I’ll be out of here and watching your back. Where I belong. You’re my family. I hate knowing you’re out in the world without my protection.”
Sarah’s eyes misted. “That’s such a nice thing to say, Adham. You think of each other as family.” Saafir didn’t know how to respond to that. His blood relation to Adham was one of the best-kept secrets of his father’s life.
“What? What did I say?” Sarah asked, looking between them.
“Nothing,” Adham said.
“You both looked away,” Molly said.
Adham waited and shrugged at Saafir. “You can tell them.”
“Tell us what?” Sarah asked.
“Adham and I are half brothers,” Saafir said. “So when I call him my brother, he is.”
Sarah looked between them. “How? Iba had another husband? Or a lover?” Disbelief highlighted every word.
Adham shook his head. “We have the same father. I’m older than Saafir, Mikhail and Laila.”
“My father met Adham’s mother when they were young. Too young. When she became pregnant, my grandparents would not approve a marriage because Adham’s mother wasn’t to their liking.”
“She wasn’t rich or cultured enough,” Adham said, sounding bitter.
“Like me with Saafir,” Sarah said.
Molly frowned sympathetically.
The parallels in the stories were unmistakable. “My countrymen may not believe that you could be an acceptable wife, but I do not believe they are correct in that matter,” Saafir said, squeezing Sarah’s hand.
Sarah looked at him, the expression in her eyes difficult to interpret.
“My father financially supported Adham and his mother, but didn’t visit them. It wasn’t until Adham and I served in the military that we realized the connection.”
Saafir had often wondered if his father’s avoidance of Adham and his mother had to do with unresolved feelings. From what Adham had told him, their father had been deeply in love with Adham’s mother.
“I see the resemblance now. You’re lucky you have each other. You’re lucky to have family supporting you,” Sarah said.
Molly stroked the side of Adham’s face. “The doctor doesn’t want you getting worked up. You need to rest and heal. I can see your heart rate jumping around on the monitor.”
Adham turned his head and Saafir expected him to tell Molly to be quiet. It was the sharp reaction he had seen from Adham most times he was with a woman and she commanded him. Instead, he kissed the inside of her wrist.
“What will you do about Sarah?” Molly asked. “I don’t want her caught in the middle of this.”
The media and Wasam’s political party were holding up Sarah as a representation of what Saafir was doing wrong: allowing American influences into their purely Qamsarian world. “If you’re asking me to walk away from her, I won’t.” Not until he had to, until he had no other choice.
Adham glanced at Molly and then back to him. “No one is asking that of you now, but we know you have to marry Alaina Faris. I have a solution to solve your problem.”
Sarah leaned forward, listening more intently. “Tell me.”
“Arranged marriages have been part of our culture for hundreds of years. But throughout history, love has gotten in the way more than once. What does a man do when the woman he wants to marry is not an option? He marries the woman he must and he keeps the woman he wants close,” Adham said.
While Saafir found the idea distasteful and would never have considered it before meeting Sarah, he could see some potential in it.
“Like a mistress?” Molly asked, giving Adham a disguste
d look.
“But without the sneaking around. Most Qamsarians are tolerant of men having more than one woman in his life,” Adham said. “Some men even have more than one wife.”
Saafir and Adham had spoken at length about why his father had not chosen that route with Adham’s mother. It was, in part, Saafir’s father’s wish to set an example for his children of devotion and, in part, because Iba would never have stood for it.
Saafir was familiar with the practice. If the only way to be with Sarah was to divide his time between Alaina and Sarah, was he willing to do that? Would Sarah accept that? Sarah had become important to him and losing her would be difficult.
“No,” Sarah said, as if reading his mind. “I will not be someone’s mistress. I will not spend weekends and holidays alone while you’re with your wife and your children. I will not have a child with you and tell him he doesn’t have a father because his father is spending time with his real family. I am not sure why you would think I would consider this, but forget it.”
Saafir heard anger and bitterness in her voice. He should never have considered it, even for a moment, even if it was the only way for them to be together. He knew that path was fraught with hurt.
“Sarah, did you tell him about your dad?” Molly asked, touching her friend’s hands. “Maybe if you explained, he would understand.”
“You didn’t tell him?” Sarah asked Adham.
Adham shook his head.
Sarah folded her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. “My father was married to someone else when my mom got pregnant with me. He was never part of my life. He never wanted to be. I was the child he didn’t want, and my mom lived her life waiting for him to come back to her. He broke her heart and I don’t think she ever got over it.”
Saafir was desperate enough to keep Sarah in his life at whatever cost to him, but he wouldn’t risk hurting her or reopening deep, painful scars. “You deserve better than just a share of my attention. You deserve everything you want to make you happy.”
* * *
Sarah hated herself for even thinking about it. Her father hadn’t been part of her life because he’d had another family. She had been the rejected one who didn’t have a dad at her birthday parties, who hated Father’s Day and who had been jealous every time she saw a girl in her neighborhood riding a bike or playing catch with her dad.
Sarah couldn’t do that to herself, much less to any future children she may have. The fact that it was acceptable to be someone’s mistress in Saafir’s culture didn’t mean she’d personally find it okay.
Saafir’s phone vibrated. He answered and spoke quickly to the caller. “Virginia was taken, too.” The news slammed down on the room. Frederick being kidnapped was bad enough, but the more people taken, the greater Rabah Wasam’s reach and the harder it would be to stop him.
“Are they sure?” Sarah asked.
“Her bodyguard was found drugged in an alley. He told the police she was taken.”
What was Wasam planning? If he couldn’t force Saafir to stop work on the trade agreement, would he try to kill everyone involved with it?
“No one has called in with a ransom request or with demands,” Saafir said.
“Wasam is waiting for you to make the next move,” Adham said. “I like Sarah’s idea of using the press.”
It was the first time Sarah could remember Adham agreeing with her. Perhaps her revelation of how much common ground they shared in regards to their sordid family histories had helped form that bridge.
Adham straightened in his bed. “Let Wasam know that you’re willing to negotiate for the release of Frederick and Virginia. Once the lines of communication are open, we can find out where he is holding his hostages.”
“We?” Saafir asked. “You are staying where you are.”
Adam held up his hands. “I might not be field-ready, but there’s nothing wrong with my brain or my hands. Let me get looped into this and handle logistics over the phone.”
Saafir stared at Adham for a long moment. Sarah knew he was considering it. “I will allow you to advise me over the phone. Keep me involved in every big decision. I don’t want to add to the body count. Wasam isn’t afraid to kill to get what he wants.”
* * *
“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Owen asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He made a face, likely finding the diner’s brew as unpleasant as Sarah had.
They’d chosen the diner because it was close to the police precinct, it was open at this late hour and they needed to refuel after being questioned by the police for more than four hours. Everyone involved in the trade agreement was being interviewed in the hope that someone had information to lead the authorities to Virginia and Frederick.
“I can’t handle more bad news. Tell me the good news,” Sarah said.
Saafir’s guards were sitting in the booth behind them. Sarah could see them in the reflection of the diner’s windows. Though the American police were handling the kidnapping, Saafir was running an investigation and had doubled her security detail. Everyone wanted Frederick and Virginia found unharmed.
“Alec is back in rehab, not jail,” Owen said.
Sarah stared across the table at Owen. In light of the kidnapping, her and Alec’s problems seemed unimportant. “I suppose that’s good news.” She didn’t want to explain again that Alec wasn’t her problem. She didn’t want to tell Owen that Alec didn’t matter at the moment. It served no purpose.
Owen’s face flamed red. His hands fisted on the table. “Don’t you care about him anymore?”
Sarah was tired of having this conversation. “I am not paying for his rehab this time. I can’t. I’m sorry, Owen. My stance on Alec hasn’t changed.”
Owen leaned back, his eyes cold and steady, his mouth drawn into a hard line. “Ready for the bad news?”
Sarah held up her hand. She dug for the strength to keep her cool and be strong and honest. “If it involves Alec, I don’t want to hear it.”
Owen said nothing as he stared across the table at her. “You’ve changed, and it’s not a good change.”
It was a slap in her face, an unnecessary insult. Sarah had been trying to hold it together and stay calm and do her job. Her anger bubbled over. “Because I’m unwilling to be someone’s doormat? Because I am unwilling to listen to and believe someone’s lies again and again and again? When will you understand that we cannot save Alec? He needs to save himself. Until he somehow understands that what he does hurts himself and the people around him and he wants to change, nothing will.”
“He needs his family,” Owen said.
Family. That word could ignite a thousand firestorms in her soul. She had never had a family and the closest she’d come was the friendships she’d formed. But she didn’t have a soft place to land. She didn’t have guaranteed holiday plans or people to eat with every day or a group who had known her all her life and understood her in a way that only came from lifelong relationships. “I wanted to be Alec’s family, but I can’t do that when it’s tearing me apart.”
Owen shook his head as if disgusted with her. “Maybe you don’t have a family because you don’t understand what family is. Family is sticking around for each other. Family means being there when it’s too hard for other people. Family means forever and always, not because we have to, but because it’s in our blood and it’s who we are.”
A punch to the gut would have hurt less. What could she say to defend herself? She couldn’t argue with him. She didn’t have firsthand experience with families and she had walked away from the situation with Alec. “Is that how you and Evelyn see it?”
“I can’t speak for my sister, but it’s how I see it.”
Sarah stood from the table. She fumbled in her handbag for some bills and threw them on the table. Sitting in a greasy diner and being emotionally s
hredded wasn’t on her agenda for the day. She walked out of the diner and onto the dark street. She was aware of the two guards following her at a distance.
She folded her arms around herself, feeling like she could be blown apart at the slightest wind.
Her cell phone rang and she answered it, feeling numb. It was Saafir.
“Where are you? You sound upset,” he said.
“I’m near the police precinct,” she said, wiping at her eyes.
“I’ll come pick you up. I’m leaving there now.”
“I want to be alone,” she said.
Whenever it had mattered, she had only been able to count on herself. No one had come to her high school graduation. Her mom had had to work. It didn’t matter. Her side of the church during the wedding had been almost empty. It didn’t matter. Surviving was what she had learned to do, to seal herself off from the world when she was most vulnerable. She could count on herself. She had never been able to look at another person and say, “yes, always, irrevocably, forever.”
She disconnected her phone and kept walking. Tears blurred her vision and she swiped at them with the heel of her hand. The ache in her heart wouldn’t let up. Denying it and pretending she didn’t need a family was a survival mechanism. Having the word pressed against her had brought the desperate longing to the surface.
She heard a car pull up beside her and she turned to see Saafir climbing out of a black sedan.
He ran to her and took her arms. “What’s the matter?”
She was tempted to break down into sobs, but a cold place inside her took over and she refused to let someone else see her raw, unguarded and weak. Saafir was part of the problem. While she had been falling in love with him, she had forgotten about her hopes for the future.
Her dreams included having a man who would be with her forever and give her a family. Maybe then she would know what that word meant. Owen’s hurtful words echoed through her mind. The future had never been part of her plans with Saafir, but they should have been.
Why had she thought she could have an affair and have that lead to happiness?
