by Kailin Gow
But then again, I broke her trust. I promised her Nat, and he didn’t show. I don’t know what she’d think…that I made up all this about Nat showing just to get Summer to see me, to open herself back up to me just to have it go crashing down?
I drove Summer back to her place soon after I found her on the first floor, which was actually the second floor. At the new building, the first floor was the basement, where we had top secret information in servers running in a large wing of the floor. Summer somehow found the door leading down the hallway to that wing, which had multiple levels of security.
It was a place Summer should not be visiting. I didn’t want her face photographed on the security cameras leading to that area, in case there were any concerns later on. I didn’t want her knowing about the place in case she gets targeted for her knowledge. It was better for her to know nothing. If she ever gets hurt or worse because of her knowledge and association with me, Nat or Donovan Dynamics, I could never forgive myself.
Why did she think about Nat right after I made love to her? Wasn’t I enough to satisfy her? Why did she run after Nat with such abandon, left me behind while she pursued him?
Nat, Nat, Nat! He was the bane of my existence. Not only did he take the place of the eldest son in the family, but he took whatever chance I had with Summer, by being her first.
I called up the line that hid Nat and my true number and waited for Nat to pick up.
After a five rings when the voicemail would pick up, I heard a click.
“You asshole!” Nat’s voice shouted into the receiver. “What kind of a game are you playing… inviting me to your Den, just so you can flaunt what you have with Summer?”
“So you did show up?” I asked.
“I had better things to do,” Nat said, “but for the sake of Summer’s sanity, I did…only to hear her tell you she never wanted to see me again! Only to hear you and Summer…I can’t even talk about it. It’s bad enough I had to leave Summer, but to hear her having sex with you right when I was expecting to see the love of my life again, it’s low, man. Really low.”
“So you took off…again, breaking Summer’s heart all over again. Just as always, Nat. You see, you can’t face her. You chickened out. I admit what happened right behind the door between Summer and me would hurt you, but you had no idea how much hell you put Summer and I through. She dumped me and said she never wanted to see me again. She meant it too. All because I, being the good little brother, kept your secret. You think I wanted to see the girl I’ve been in love with since I can remember, crying her heart out and almost killing herself over a liar like you? And not being able to tell her the truth? She hates me now. That little scene you heard will probably be our last. She gave me the chance to prove to her I was telling the truth about you, but because of your no-show, it’s back to ground zero. She thought I lied about getting you to the Den to see her, when you didn’t show up. Now I don’t know if she’ll ever trust anyone again. You see, Nat, she trusted you and me to be there for her, to be her rock, but all we’ve done was play with her emotions…play with the desires we both have for her. It isn’t fair what we’ve put her through. She’s been there for us, and all we’ve done was hurt her. I tried to make it up to her, but I don’t even think she wants anything to do with me. As much as I’d hate to see you succeed with Summer, she needs to see you.”
“She won’t recognize me now that I’m undercover, but I’ll find a way to let her know, I’m around,” Nat said steadily. “Technically, I’m not even supposed to make contact with her or see her. I can’t let my cover get blown.”
“You shouldn’t have sent her that letter then,” I said. “You either disappear completely or don’t. It’s as simple as that. Why do you always have to complicate things, especially when it comes to Summer?”
“Wow,” Nat laughed. “Is this Drew I’m talking to?”
“What?”
“Never thought you’d have any deep thoughts beyond which girl you’re going to hook up with…”
“Nat, man, you better take that back,” I said, a little angry. “That was before Summer. I’m not like that anymore. I have responsibilities now…stepping into your shoes at Donovan Dynamics, taking care of Mom, making sure Rachel isn’t in over her head with whatever new thing she’s into…right now it’s Astor or Ashton Fairway.”
“Hmm, that pretty boy actor who wanted Summer,” Nat nearly spat. I know him, he didn’t trust Summer with him before and now he wouldn’t trust Rachel trying to get with him, too. “Keep an eye on Rachel with him. I know he’s helped out with Aunt Sookie’s Academy, but I still think he’s not over Summer. If he hooks up with Rachel, he’ll break her heart.”
“Still the Big Brother,” I said.
“Just because I’m technically ‘dead’ doesn’t mean I don’t worry,” Nat said. “And just because I have another identity doesn’t mean I’m not helping Dad and Donovan Dynamics out. Listen, when I went over to the Den earlier, I wanted to see Summer for real, and you, but I also had to go into the Vault to update some info. Nearly got decapitated just going in. You have some serious security there, Drew. Make sure you keep Summer out. I know she’s too curious to stay put but you have to. If she’s going to go over to your place more often, then secure the place, even against Summer. I don’t want her to get hurt even more so Summer-proof the place.”
“Easy for you to bark orders from far away,” I said.
“Exactly,” I said. “Now you know what it’s like to be in my shoes.”
“I’m not following in your shoes,” I said. “I’m stepping up to be who I am…”
“Good,” Nat said. “It’s about time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
He hung up before I could get a retort in. The tension between us was thicker than ever. Strained when it used to be so easy between us.
Even if he went back to being Nat as before, would we ever be close again?
Chapter 7
Nat
I never should have sent Summer my last letter. I should have just let her believe I was dead.
Like the rest of the world, like those dangerous criminals I help send to prison.
Like those corrupt officials and executives at unethical corporations who hired the cybercriminals to do their dirty work so they could be ahead of their competition, so they have information that could take down their rivals.
Aunt Sookie’s Acting Academy was one of their targets, and so was Summer after she inherited the Academy. You’d think they wouldn’t care about a small acting school like Aunt Sookie’s, but they did. It was an act of revenge, because of Summer’s mom.
She busted them first, then I came in, helping her through Donovan Dynamics as part of the government contract.
What I found out would blow anyone’s mind.
What I found out would turn anyone and everyone into a paranoid basket case.
I intend to keep this knowledge hidden as much as I could. No one knows any of it, except me.
And Summer. She doesn’t know it yet, but she will. If anything happens to me now, she would be notified to retrieve that letter I sent her. The clues are in there. Let’s hope that day when she would have to read that letter again never happens. But if it does, hopefully by then, Summer would understand everything I did, everything I said was for her.
*****
I had to go see her. Although I was hurt and filled with jealousy when I heard her sweet voice talking to Drew behind their suite’s door; my entire being felt more alive than these last few weeks, just being able to hear Summer’s voice.
I did feel dead inside, cut off from my family, my role at Donovan Dynamics, and from the one woman I’ve always loved. So, it wasn’t hard for me to get out of my dorm room, get into my Prius and drive up to the Pad.
It was close to midnight, but I had to see her.
I was so familiar with the drive to the Pad, as well as the Pad itself, I could navigate in the dark towards her house. I parked across the street from
the Pad when I got there, as to not draw any attention. If someone was watching her, they wouldn’t notice anything unusual.
Dressed all in black, I blended into the night that surrounded the Pad, took out my own key to the Pad and walked in.
Immediately the memories of me kissing Summer, holding her tightly against my chest as I said, “good-bye” to her hit me. How much I dreaded leaving her that day to go on a mission I may not survive. If I hadn’t gone, I would be sleeping next to Summer at this moment, caressing her, holding her and making love to her.
Oh how I missed her…her warm soft skin, her happy smile, how her beautiful gold-specked green eyes light up every time she saw me.
I made my way from the front door to the living room where Summer, Drew, and I grew up watching television together, playing video games, and hanging out.
Pass the cozy, but large granite-top kitchen where we’ve played and cooked meals for each other.
To Summer’s bedroom where I once undressed her and made sweet love to her.
I held my breath as I laid eyes on the sleeping form underneath the blankets. Even in deep sleep, she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Her beauty still takes my breath away.
I walked up to the bed and watched her sleep for a moment, enjoying the tranquility it brought me. “Summer,” I whispered. “Summer, I’m here. Nat.”
At the sound of my name, Summer sighed in her sleep. “Oh Nat,” she said, her eyes closed. “Kiss me,” she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down towards her on the bed. I fell next to her as she leaned into me, “I’m so cold,” she shivered. “Nat, cover me up with your body so I can feel the warmth.”
My arms fell around Summer, pulling her in close to me. The feel of her in my arms, the heavenly fresh floral scent of her hair, struck me with the need to have her, to feel her entire body next to mine.
“Kiss me, Nat,” Summer said, searching my face with her hands as she leaned in to kiss me. Our mouth crashed into each other with a hunger I thought I’d buried the day I left this Pad, the day I left Summer.
Now I’m back, and my girl Summer was back in my arms. I closed my eyes overwhelmed with emotions and lust for Summer.
She had full delectable lips I wanted to bite and suck on. “Oh Summer,” I groaned. “I should never have left you. How could I leave these lips?”
“Go ahead,” Summer said, “Make love to me. I’ve always wanted you, now I need you. Please.”
“Oh Summer,” I kissed her again and ran my tongue down her neck to the top of her tank top. I had to smile. When she was with me, she went to sleep naked with me, but now…she was back to being the Summer I knew before she got mixed up with me or Drew. Maybe that was a good thing. It showed she wasn’t with someone at the moment. It comforted me, knowing she still cared for me.
“I love you, Nat,” Summer said, her eyes closed as in deep sleep. “I used to dream about being your girlfriend. I used to believe we were destined to be together. We are, and since you died, I can’t go on unless I join you…I can’t imagine my life without you.”
I stopped kissing her and looked at her face closely. She was breathing, she was paler than the last time I’ve seen her, and right by the side of the bed on the side table was a bottle…a bottle of pills.
“Oh no, Summer,” I cried, grabbing the bottle and shaking it. No more pills were left. “Why?”
Frantically I began pumping her chest, which made her cough. A few pills came out of her mouth. I looked at them and saw multicolored ones of animal shapes. I picked up one and relief poured all over me. They were gummy bears.
I laughed. It was so like Summer. My sweet adorable Summer. And I bent down to check her breathing. It was steady, and her eyes were still closed. I looked at the bottle next to her and saw it was a bottle of sleeping pills. She didn’t seem to have taken too much, but whatever amount she did, it knocked her out, and she was in deep sleep, only acting out her dreams.
Again, I was relieved she didn’t take those pills to kill herself.
I didn’t want to take advantage of her in this state so I pulled her tank top down to cover her up and just laid next to her, holding her gently, letting her know I was there for her.
I soon fell asleep, but woke up at the crack of dawn to slip out of the Pad. I couldn’t leave at first, but stood just watching her sleep. I thought about how scared I was when I thought she took too many pills.
And what she said while dreaming. That she would follow me wherever I went…it terrified me.
“Summer, I know you’re still sleeping, but please forget about Nat. Please move on with your life, find someone new…like Drew. Especially Drew. Please give him another chance…”
I kissed her on the forehead and left.
Despite everything, she was still and will always be my perfect lasting Summer.
Chapter 8
Summer
So he was also in my Sociology class. What did I expect?
My eyes swept over to where Drew had entered the stadium-tiered classroom at USC where we were both entering our second year. He was dressed in a dark navy suit that hugged his muscles and a black silk shirt opened at the neck. His hair was combed yet mussed up as though he’d just had sex. I didn’t notice it as much last night because I was so focused on the tension between us, but in this light, his hair had grown longer to his shoulders in a way that gave him a rakish pirate look. The slight blue of his navy suit brought out his blue eyes, and made him look like he’d just came out of a Jane Austen novel.
He was gorgeous.
Looking at him made me want to grab his head to run my fingers through his hair.
I wasn’t the only one noticing how gorgeous of a male specimen Drew was.
A flock of pretty girls, as usual, jumped out of their seats to surround him, touching him, flirting with him, grabbing him.
“You’d think they thought he was Astor Fairway,” I muttered under my breath, getting ready to get up to go ‘rescue’ Drew from the girls.
“Can a Peacock get any more vain?” A handsome young man about nineteen or twenty sat down next to me. Although he was dressed in baggy skater boy clothes, the laid-back casual California attire preferred by many of the guys in college, with a cap scrunched over his bleached platinum hair; I could tell he was very good-looking.
Trying not to turn my head to openly check him out, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was tall, had long legs and broad shoulders. Sitting next to him, I felt his strong presence, although he himself seemed laid-back without a single care in the world.
I laughed. “He seemed to be enjoying himself,” I said watching Drew charm his way with the girls. I was about to go help him out but just watched him. He was used to his Drew Effect on women of all ages, and he knew how to work it. One girl was handing him a pen, while another was massaging his shoulders.
“Yup, he does,” the gorgeous man next to me said. “I’m surprised not all the women in class are over there joining his harem. The guy’s one charmer, isn’t he?”
“Yes, if you’re into that kind of thing. I don’t do harems. A guy who seemed so into himself like that just doesn’t do it for me.”
I watched Drew get kissed on the cheeks from a girl who I recognized as the President of a sorority. Drew had belonged to a fraternity last year and been a star quarterback on the football team on a scholarship and on early admission. Of course he was prime meat for the prettiest and most popular girls on campus.
I clenched my hands into a fist as that kiss on the cheeks turned into a kiss on the lips, and Drew seemed to have kissed her back. “Uh, would he stop this?” I muttered. “I can’t believe him, after all he’d said to me last night, seemed him being into me was a lie too.”
I wanted to get out and storm out of the room, but the gorgeous man next to me placed his hand gently on my elbow. “He’s not worth it,” he said. “Don’t let a man keep you from living your life. You’re here to learn, aren’t you? Then don’t leave just becau
se that guy missed out on an opportunity to show you he is worthy of you.”
Wow, he seemed deep. I glanced over at the guy next to me to see his face, but he was half hidden to me, as he looked straight ahead. All I could see was his strong chin covered in a day’s growth of stubble, his aristocratic nose and long eyelashes from his side profile. Without his cap, he’d probably be even more gorgeous than Drew, but in a rock star kind of way. “I can’t watch him like that,” I said.
“Then don’t,” he said. “Ignore him. He’s an idiot for putting on this kind of show in front of you, if he thinks it’ll get your attention. How do you feel?”
“Disappointed,” I said. “I thought he grew up. I thought he turned over a new leaf, that he can act more responsible, more of a man whom I can lean on and trust, that he could be more like…” I stopped. What was I about to say? That I wanted Drew to be more like Nat? All this time, that was what I loved about Drew?
“What?” the guy asked, suddenly turning to face me.
“Oh never mind,” I said, blushing. “I shouldn’t be telling you all this. We’ve just met, and now you must think I’m some kind of emotional mess.”
“Never,” the guy laughed. “If you’re an emotional mess, you sure hide it well.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I try. I figure it’s the start of a whole new school year, I can try to start fresh, get more involved in school than I did last year.”
“That sounds promising,” the guy said. “Always good to start fresh if you could.”
“I’m Summer,” I smiled, offering my hand to him.
He turned towards me, looked me in my eyes with his aquamarine eyes, mesmerizing me for a second. The shape of his eyes, those long lashes that any girl would envy, the intensity of his direct gaze…they sent an electrifying thrill through me, yet gave me some comfort. He smiled and took my hand, engulfing it wholly. “Nice to meet you, Summer,” he said. “I’m Cooper. Cooper Sorrento.”
