Nico (The Leaves)

by Hartnett, J. B.

  “Liar,” I said and smiled.

  “Seriously,” she said as lettuce fell from her mouth.

  “Swallow,” I told her.

  “So bossy. I love it when you tell me to swallow.” Her playful side had been absent for a while.

  “It’s great to have you back, babe.”

  She put down the sandwich. “It’s great to be back.”

  We finished our lunch and went back to the cabin. We made dinner together, and I cleaned up while she read a book. Eventually, our mutual, nervous silence led me to bed and Lark to have a bath. Her hair was still damp as she climbed into the bed next to me. I opened my arms so I could feel her cheek against my chest.

  Her lips kissed just above my ribs, and the tip of her tongue flicked my nipple. “How come you haven’t tattooed your chest?”

  “I’m waiting,” I replied.

  “For what?”

  “I’ll know it when I see it.” I turned my head to meet the top of hers and laid a gentle kiss there. “You’re nervous, too.”

  “It’s been a while,” she said. “But before you say something nice like ‘we can wait’ or whatever, I am ready. I think I… we… need this to move on.”

  She was right, and I felt the same way; I just hadn’t verbalized it. Instead, I showed her. With every touch of my lips to her skin, every brush of my fingers on her body, I made a trail from the curve of her neck, to her round breasts, and finally laid my hand over her belly. She lifted her head and kissed me deeply, and suddenly, the animal in my girl was unleashed. Lark straddled me, lifting one of my t-shirts over her head and tossing it across the room. Her hands grabbed the sides of my head to guide my mouth to her breasts. She rubbed her wetness up and down my erection before she grabbed my dick in her hand and guided herself slowly down.

  “Feels so damn good, babe,” I groaned.

  “God, it does,” she said on a breathy sigh as she moved up and down my shaft. She increased her speed and laced her fingers with mine. “Nico?”

  “Fuck… yeah babe?” I was so close to coming, I had to concentrate to hold myself back.

  “Love me,” she requested.

  I sat up, her knees tight against my hips. One hand wrapped around her waist while the other held the back of her neck. I moved in a slow grind beneath her while she rode each rise and fall of our connection.

  “I missed this, missed you…” I said into her neck as she rose up to kiss me.

  “Me, too,” she said against my lips.

  I wrapped my fingers around her hair and looked at her until she opened her eyes, keeping our gaze locked together until I felt her walls clenching me. I shuddered beneath her and came hard, her tears in the heat of the moment spilling over. I grunted out a final moan and held her deep, stretched around me, and lowered her down to the bed.

  “Keep going,” she urged, crossing her ankles at my back. “But this time, don’t hold back,” she said with dark eyes and pure fuckin’ sex on her tongue.

  I grabbed her ass in my hands and slammed her against my dick as she gasped out, “Yes, Nico!”

  “You can scream my name all you want out here, babe. Fuckin’ shout it from the mountain top,” I said on each broken breath while I pounded into her. I watched as she squeezed her breasts, her hands moving across her body. Her head tipped up, each thrust pushed a sexy fuckin’ moan from her lips until I knew she was close again. “Gonna do this ‘til I can’t, babe.”

  “I… love… you… ahh!” she screamed out, not my name, but it didn’t matter one fuckin’ bit. My girl was back, in my arms, in our bed.

  ***

  A few days later, most of which we spent naked, it was time to head back home. I had been downtown a week before we’d left, trying to clear my head, when I walked past the shop where my journal had come from. On the tiled floor, they had these garden stones on display. Some had Chinese symbols, some had little phrases, but one stood out above the rest. I looked at it through the window when the car that had been parked behind me left, shooting sunlight against the shop and casting that same bear paw right over that particular stone.

  Now I stood next to Lark. “Babe?”

  “Yeah, I just want to look around and make sure we didn’t forget anything.”

  “I already did. I got something… I hope I didn’t do the wrong thing here, but… anyway…” I said, nervously handing her the plain brown box.

  “What is this? It’s really heavy.” She opened it slowly and looked up at me for an explanation.

  “Do you remember me telling you about my client, Angelica?” I took the box from her hands and opened the thin tissue to reveal a stone in the shape of a heart. “She gets a heart for every day she carried her baby. I don’t want to forget this, Lark. I don’t want it to be like it never happened, so I got this to leave here. This place is for our family.”

  She slowly took the stone and held it against her chest, leaned up and kissed me. “Nico…” She nodded, her tears spilling over. “It’s perfect,” she said quietly and laid the stone prominently next to the bottom step.

  ***

  “The parents have been here,” she said, walking in as I followed with our bags. Not only could you smell a mixture of pine and lemon, there was a huge basket filled with baked goods and fruit with a note that said ‘Welcome home.’

  “Well,” I said, as I dropped the bags to the floor and pulled her into my arms, “at least we don’t have to go shopping for a while.” I tucked her hair behind her ears. “You okay?”

  “I’m okay. I just wish I could shake this feeling. It’s weird, Nico. I was fine at the cabin. Maybe it’s just the memory… since it happened here.”

  I wish I hadn’t felt it, too. “We’re gonna make new memories here, and that’s just one in a ton of good ones. You wanna break out some of that ‘stemware’ and that cheese thing and ask Teensy and Zack over tonight?”

  “We should play cards or something! And it’s fondue… the cheese thing. But you can use chocolate, too. Mmm, I can’t wait!” Her face had lit up beautifully.

  “See? A new memory. A good one.”

  Hours later, after Zack closed the studio, he and Teensy walked in. I told him to bring the bank deposit so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. He deserved an entire day off. Lark and Teensy talked about the wedding which was only a few weeks away. “Are you having a bachelorette party or a shower?” Lark asked.

  “Nah, Zack and I are having a joint party. Didn’t Nico tell you?”

  With everything else going on, I had actually completely forgotten about it.

  I apologized. “I forgot, sorry.”

  “Dude, how could you forget? Your two Fuckables are doing a show!” he said with dreamy eyes I wanted to rip from their sockets. “Ouch! Why’d you hit me?” he whined at Teensy.

  “Seriously?” she asked.

  “What?” he looked at her, then me, and I was sure my face said everything.

  “Fuckables?” Lark enquired with both eyebrows raised.

  Before Teensy could stop him, Zack went into full explanation mode. “Yeah, the night Nico was attacked, he had this threesome with these two chicks that look like twins. They’re not, but now they have this video series and they’re called, ‘The Adventures of The Fuckables’. It was wild man. I opened the bathroom door a little bit and Nico was—”

  I smacked the back of his head. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” I yelled.

  “What? That was before Lark, man. Teensy and I talk about all our previous fuck buddies.”

  “That’s you guys, you asshole.” I looked over at Lark who was actually smiling. “Babe?” I asked. My chest rose as I tried to control the urge to beat the shit out of my friend.

  “Nico”, she said. “I could tell you this story about the time I went to Vegas, right after Shane and I broke up. I got a suite at the MGM Grand, met these three guys on Spring Break, and asked them if they wanted to have some fun. It was fun all right. I had one taking me—”

  “Stop. Fucking.
Talking!” I shouted.

  Lark was laughing her ass off, Teensy was trying to hold her grin behind a huge wine glass, and Zack was actually rolling around on the floor. I opened the front door and slammed it behind me. I was pissed at Zack for bringing my past to slap me in the face in front of Lark, I was pissed that I had to hear about Lark with another man or men, even if it did make me a huge hypocrite, and I was pissed that, even though we were engaged, something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  I walked up and down the sidewalk in front of the studio, thinking that, one, I was a dickhead, and two, how nice it would be to smoke a fuckin’ cigarette right about now when I heard, “Nico?”

  “What!” I shouted. Then I saw Dee, unexpected, standing on the sidewalk in front of me. “Dee?”

  “You know who I am,” she stated, not even trying to hide her sarcasm.

  I couldn’t stand it anymore. “What the fuck is your problem with me, Dee?”

  “You’re an asshole, Nico. I’m just waiting for you to fuck up. Anyway, I’m here for Lark, because when she figures out who you really are, I’m going to help her ‘move on’.” She said with air-quotes and started up the steps. She knew the place, of course, the cottage belonged to her parents.

  “Dee,” I bit out, “Lark is going to be my wife. Do you not get that?”

  She stomped back down the stairs. “What I get is that you and my parents are keeping shit from her. So even if you don’t fuck up, when she finds out you’ve been lying to her all this time, you have no future with her.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked as I raised my voice.

  “You can’t be serious, Nico,” she said sarcastically.

  Totally confused, I replied, “I’m pretty fuckin’ serious, Dee. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not keeping shit from Lark.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Like I said, your days are numbered either way.”

  I was right on the edge of completely losing it. For months now, Dee had been in Lark’s ear, planting these seeds of doubt. “You wanna clue me in here?”

  “You remember a girl named Gina?” She already knew the answer. “That’s what I thought. And my friend, Kay, was there the night you took her home from that bar. But not before you fucked some other slapper in the bathroom. Then you treated her like shit.”

  I was an asshole, but I’d been honest with Lark about my past, and I’d been honest with Gina that night.

  “Dee, I am telling you this because Lark loves you and I respect that. I don’t know what Gina told you or her friend or whatever, but did you know that I went back to see her?”

  “No,” she said and rolled her eyes.

  “Yeah, because she was the first person I felt any connection with since… I know Lark told you what I do. Every time a woman would come in with her terrible story, I had to hear it and really feel it so I could help her express that pain through the tattoo. It helps them heal—”

  “Save it, Nico. You’re not a hero or a therapist. I, for one, do not think you or what you do is special.”

  “Fucking listen to me, Dee. After a while, drinking and pussy didn’t numb the pain or give me the distraction it used to. But with Gina, it was different. She was the first person who reminded me of this feeling I got when—”

  “When you were a kid. There it is!” she said as she pointed her finger at me. “It’s the same for Lark. She hasn’t had the same connection with anyone since. Not until you.”

  “I know that; we’ve talked about it.” Fuck this bitch.

  “Clearly, you’re both not telling each other the whole story,” she yelled.

  “Nico?” Lark yelled out from the top of stairs. “Don’t be mad, Nico. Come back inside…” Then, when she was close enough to see her, “Dee!!” she cried out and ran down the steps.

  Just before she threw her arms around her, Dee got in my face and said, “You better talk to your parents. If you don’t tell her, I will.”

  Lark linked their elbows and reached behind her. “Come on, Nico.” She smiled. Her entire demeanor transformed. I could have handled the entire situation upstairs better, that was true, but now I was completely out of my depth, and as I watched them walk away, it was like a living breathing bad omen.

  Chapter 18

  Dee was with Lark constantly. I was afraid to leave them alone together for a single minute. But I needed to take care of some shit apparently. The girls had gone out to dinner, Dee playing her role as the perfect friend by telling Lark she needed a good old-fashioned girly day… and night.

  My folks were on their front porch, almost like they had been expecting me. I closed the truck door to its familiar creaking sound as Pop approached me. Mom was holding her arms around her, and I could tell she was crying.

  “Pop? What’s going on? What’s wrong with Mom?”

  “Come on inside, Nicolas.” He looked at me with that same face he had the day he made me come to the hospital.

  The day I found out Mom had cancer.

  I walked in the opposite direction and drove my hands through my hair.

  “Nicolas,” he said as he approached. I kept walking, “Nicolas!” he yelled.

  I stopped with my back to him as he came up behind me. “I can’t hear it right now, Pop. Things are fucked with Lark, and I have no idea why. Fuckin’ Dee is up in my shit, she hates me, that’s why I’m here. So, please, please, Pop,” I turned around to face him, “if Mom is sick again, I just need a fuckin’ break from bad news. I—”

  “She’s not sick again, son. Come on inside. We need to talk.”

  I watched him walk away and tried to get my shit together, then closed the distance between us. Mom had made coffee and a yellow cake with chocolate frosting. It was the dessert she made when I was sad as a kid.

  Then she started talking.

  “We knew them for years. They’d been trying and trying to get pregnant. One miscarriage after another. She wanted to have a big family.” Mom moved her mug of tea around in her hands. “Then they finally got pregnant. The doctor said it was just plain luck, a miracle, and as much as they wanted more, she couldn’t stand the idea of going through another miscarriage, so they stopped trying. Then your Pop met this woman. She was trying to find a way to make her and her daughter safe. But she didn’t tell him that. She said her husband was out of work. Pop went to her place, and the husband came to the door, accused him of sleeping with his wife. Pop didn’t want to cause trouble, but he knew there was a kid inside. So he came back that night, determined if he did see trouble, he’d call the cops, but he was too late. She had already left, walked I don’t know how many miles in her condition, determined to get her girl to a safe place. Pop saw them not half a block from the shelter.” She looked up at me then, her eyes swollen from crying.

  “We couldn’t get a sitter that night. Pop said he had a bad feeling, just wanted to make sure that woman was all right, so I brought you to work with me.” She started to cry again and continued. “You held onto each other all night, Nicolas. I’d never seen anything like it. She just curled up right next to you. Before that night, you used to have these nightmares or night terrors is what the pediatrician called them, but after that, they just up and stopped. You were always so nervous, almost scared, but she changed it. That five-year-old little girl changed all that. The psychologist said it was better to give her a fresh start, so we would meet up with Hank and Ramona each year, away from you kids. We always thought, as you got older, we would tell you. Then Lark was engaged to someone else, and when you finally met and clicked, we thought you would remember, so we didn’t interfere, and then it just…” She started to cry uncontrollably. “We… we thought we were doing the right thing, baby. We thought this was your destiny, the two of you.”

  I rubbed my hands down my face and looked at my pop holding my mom’s hands. “Dee called Ramona and Hank and they called you. That’s why you weren’t surprised to see me.”

  “That’s right
, son. We—”

  I pushed the chair back, making it crash into something behind me, picked up the cake and threw it into the brick fireplace, sending cake and porcelain everywhere. “Dee was fuckin’ right! Because you people decided to pussy-out and not tell either one of us the truth, we both fuckin’ lose. I lose the one person in my life who has ever made it all okay, everything, not just those fuckin’ women I help, everything. Do you get that? I was finally happy. Now since the baby, fuckin’ Dee telling her I’m the fuckin’ devil… fuck!” I yelled out. “You told me, Pop. You said when your mom died, it left this huge hole, and if it wasn’t for Mom, it would’ve swallowed you up. And then you told me to find a woman that made me feel like Mom made you feel, and I did, Pop. She knocked the fuckin’ wind right outta me.”

  I walked around the table, not even sure what the fuck to do, and slammed open the door. “Don’t say a fuckin’ word. You talk to Hank and Ramona and you tell them not to interfere. I have to try to fix this, because the hole that’s gonna be left when she’s gone, I might as well just bury myself in it.”

  ***

  I sent Lark a text when I got reception again, and asked where she was. Dee had taken her to a movie downtown, but said it was going to end at eleven and we should meet for gelato at this new place across from Main Beach. I sent back a text saying I’d meet her there and went straight to the cottage.

  There were two things I never asked Lark to show me; one was the wine glasses she had hidden away when she was with Shane. I knew her. I knew her heart and her regret, so I never asked. The second was the wedding dress she’d made. I didn’t ask about it because I wanted to see her in it. But now, I was looking for something else, Georgie. The bear I had given her as a kid. I knew she would have it, and if it was anywhere, it was with the dress and wine glasses.

  When I walked into the cottage, everything became clear to me. I thought about the quilt she’d wrapped herself in that first night when she was drunk. One square had a bear, one had a baby, which I now assumed was Dee, another had a cactus which must’ve been Hemet… how did I not figure it out before? How did she not figure it out?