by Missy Jane
* * * * *
Ryan didn’t sound at all surprised when I called in the next day. Apparently Sean had already called and been by looking for me. I didn’t respond to that news at all. Just thanked Ryan for letting me take the day off to get over my bad cold and hung up. Elle called me soon after from the gym.
“What the fuck did he do? He came by but wouldn’t answer any of my questions.”
I took a deep breath and considered a few answers before going with the truth.
“He was with another woman at the Super Mart.”
Her quick inhalation of breath had me rubbing my chest at the remembered pain. I had been shocked too. Who knew I was so easily replaceable?
“There has to be some reasonable explanation. There’s no way he’s already moved on to someone else…not if he knows what’s good for him.”
I almost wanted to laugh. Almost. I just shook my head even though she couldn’t see it and rubbed my eyes.
“It doesn’t matter, Elle. He doesn’t want me anymore. He couldn’t have made it any clearer if he’d taken out an ad in the Chronicle.”
“Hmph. Well that asshole better not come around here again. I might be a woman but I sure know a trick or two after dealing with Declan’s stupid ass for so long.”
She kept me on the phone until her next class time, making me promise to call her later. I hung up and stared at my call history.
Sean had called fifty-two times the day before, starting with about the time I’d pulled into my driveway. The hopeful part of me wanted to call him back and hear whatever bullshit he wanted to tell me. But that’s all it would be. With my luck he would say it was for my own good he had found someone else. I moved to the current day to see he had called twenty times. He had also sent three text messages. They all said, “Call me”.
No explanation was given, though doing so by text wasn’t preferable. Still, if he had a reasonable explanation and I wasn’t answering his calls, why hadn’t he just texted it to me? I sighed and pulled myself out of bed to take a shower. Pining away for him hadn’t done a damn thing for me the past two weeks. There was no reason to continue. Easier said than done.
I emerged from the shower to hear someone knocking on my door and a sense of déjà vu washed over me. I really didn’t want to see Sean, but it might not be him. I shrugged on my robe and went to the door but didn’t hurry. When I peeked out the peephole it was to see not Sean, but the blonde woman he had been shopping with. She knocked again, an expression of utter patience on her flawless face. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to throw up or find a weapon. I opened the door.
Chapter Eight
“Hi. Um…you’re Megan, right?”
I took a deep breath and reminded myself to give her the benefit of the doubt. There was no reason for her to show up on my doorstep to gloat. So, she had to be there for a different reason. At least, she better be.
“Yeah. I’m Megan.”
My voice was rough from crying and I could only imagine what my face looked like. I’d waited for the steam to fog the mirror before walking past it.
She smiled and stuck out her hand.
“I’m Shayla Maxwell.”
Every drop of blood drained to my feet and I had to lean against the door to stay upright. A look of alarm crossed her face and she took a step closer.
“Max-Maxwell? He…he got married?”
Her eyes widened and she grabbed my arms. “No! Oh my god no, I’m not his wife. I’m his sister.”
Relief flooded my system almost too quickly for me to process. I just stared at her for a moment as I got my bearings.
“Sister? He has a sister?”
She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yeah, he has a sister. Me. That ass didn’t even tell you about me, did he?”
“No. No he didn’t.”
I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. Shayla seemed to take pity on me and helped me into the house, shutting the door behind her. Now that I knew they were related, I could see a slight resemblance.
“I hope you don’t mind me showing up like this but I know what a bullheaded dumbass my brother is. Once you refused to answer his calls and texts he was ready to give up.”
“He was?”
I couldn’t seem to get past stating the obvious but she didn’t seem to mind. She steered me toward my sofa and we sat side by side.
“Yes. But I saw the look on your face when you saw us together and I swear, he had the exact same look. Oh, Megan. I’ve never seen my brother look at anyone that way. You’re the one.”
She seemed so happy with that news I almost hated to burst her bubble.
“But he doesn’t want me.”
“Of course he does.”
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “No, Shayla, he doesn’t. I all but bullied him into dating me in the first place and he wasted no time pushing me away. He really doesn’t want me.”
She didn’t say anything for almost a full minute, watching me with a blank look on her face.
“Well…do you want him?”
I closed my eyes and leaned back against the sofa, as if shutting her out would make my confession easier.
“I’m in love with him,” I whispered.
A hot tear escaped my best efforts to keep it back, leaving a trail down one cheek.
“Oh, Megan. I can tell. You have to believe me that he loves you too.” She grasped one of my hands between her palms and squeezed. “He’s been completely miserable all week, but when I asked what’s wrong he wouldn’t tell me. Then I found his phone and saw your texts. He finally confessed everything.”
I snorted. “So you know I’m his stalker?”
She laughed. “He told me about that. Did you know how flattered he was with your attention?”
I opened my eyes and looked at her. “Sure he was.”
“Yes, he really was. He laughed when he told me about it but the look on his face spoke volumes. He was really shocked by the attention you gave him. No other woman has ever done that to him before.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “He once said I exasperated him.”
She giggled. “That’s a good word for it.”
I sighed and shook my head. “So what if that’s true? It takes two to make a relationship work and he keeps finding reasons to push me away.”
She finally released my hand and leaned back against the sofa. “He told me what happened at the gym, with that guy. It really scared him, you know.”
I whipped my head around to look at her face. “It did?”
She nodded. “Oh yeah…has he ever told you about our dad?”
“No. not really. He didn’t seem to want to talk about him.”
“Yeah. Our childhood wasn’t exactly fun. Our parents divorced when we were really young and dad moved away with Sean. It hurt so bad to stay with mom and be separated from my brother, but of course we didn’t have a choice. My dad was very abusive to us. Not Sean, mind you, just me and mom. He had this thing against women. It’s weird, I know. I think Sean has always worried he might end up like our dad.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I know that and you know that, but Sean can get really aggressive when he’s angry. He almost got kicked out of the Marines because of his temper, but he learned to control it and took up mixed martial arts.”
“Oh.”
I suddenly realized how little I knew about the man who held my heart.
“Yeah,” she continued, “I think he’s convinced himself you’re better without him. But looking at you now and having spent the past week with him, I have to say you’re both miserable. Surely being together would be better than this…right?”
I took a deep breath and thought it over. “I don’t know if I can handle him pushing me away again.”
She smiled but it held more sympathy than humor. “Megan, he is so ready to break. I promise one sign from you and he’ll be putty in your hands.”
I bit my lip in indecision as plans began to form in my head. Sean as
putty sounded nice but what if she was wrong? Mari’s words rang in my head again and I knew it was time to find out once and for all.
* * * * *
Shayla helped me come up with a foolproof plan to corner Sean. We decided the sooner the better because honestly, I was just fucking miserable. From what she said he was too and it made visiting him almost intolerable. She only planned to be in town another week and didn’t want to spend it with her brother being a total grouch. They had plans to go to the movies but she was going to feign a migraine. I was supposed to show up on his doorstep and she would slip out and head over to my place. I didn’t think he would like that too much but gave her my extra key anyway.
My closet looked like a bomb had gone off inside by the time I was ready to go. I hadn’t eaten all day and my stomach kept protesting loudly. I ignored it. My nerves were rubbed raw until just the thought of food made me nauseated. This was it. I would present myself to Sean with an ultimatum. Take me…or give me a good fucking reason.
With a sigh I finally settled on a pair of well-worn jeans and a chocolate-colored silk top. I’d never worn it in front of him before but Elle said it matched my eyes. I didn’t want to get too dressed up. After all, we would just be at his house and if all went well I wouldn’t be dressed for long. I slipped into my favorite sandals, grabbed my keys and left the house. I’d told Shayla I would just walk since his house was so close, but to be honest I was too nervous to drive. It would really suck if I had to walk home in tears.
Halfway there my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket to see Sean’s name and froze. Uncertainty draped me like a cloak but I answered on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Megan.”
The relief in his voice made my pulse leap.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been trying to call you.”
I bit my lip and considered a few responses. “I know.”
Simple usually works for me. He took a breath and I closed my eyes to savor the sound of him, so close as if he were touchable.
“I’m sorry about…the store. You saw me with my sister.”
He sounded as if the words were pulled from him and I wondered what part of that sentence had been hard.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I know you thought…differently.”
I waited a second, looking around the neighborhood. There were people going about their business with no clue of the drama in their midst.
“Yeah. I did.”
“I didn’t mean for you to. I had no clue we might run into you there.”
“Me either.”
Silence reigned for almost a minute.
“Can I come over?” he asked.
“What?” Hope bloomed in my chest until it ached.
“I want to see you. I need to see you…please.”
Tears burned the back of my throat at the desperation in his voice. He sounded like I felt.
“What about your sister?”
“We were supposed to go to the movies but she has a migraine. I just checked on her and she said she’ll be fine if I leave for a bit.”
“To see me?”
“Yeah, to see you. I told her about you. I hope that’s okay?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me, dislodging the moisture in my eyes. Swiping hastily at my tears, I turned and headed back to my house.
“Okay. You can come over.”
He breathed out roughly and I heard a grin in his voice. “Great. I’m on my way.”
By the time we hung up I was already at my door. I ran into my house and kicked my sandals off. He wouldn’t be long. The question was, what now? His coming over simplified things a bit but also threw me off my game. My stomach was twisted into knots and I almost screamed when Sean knocked on the door. I glanced out the peephole just to be sure it was him. Taking a deep, fortifying breath, I pushed away all doubt and opened the door.
At first he just stood there staring at me. I swallowed and tried to think of something intelligent to say. It was becoming awkward when he finally stepped inside.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
I stepped back as he entered and he shut and locked the door behind him, all without taking his eyes off me. Memories of the day he’d shown up when I was fresh from the shower assailed me and I had to look away from him.
“Were you busy when I called?”
The uncertainty in his voice had me looking at him again. I quickly shook my head to reassure him. His shoulders relaxed the slightest bit. I wanted to throw myself into his arms, but settled for slipping my hands into my pockets instead.
“I was just…I, um…”
He raised a brow in silent question, the intensity of his gaze making me mute. I couldn’t think of a suitable lie and before I knew it the truth slipped out. “I was headed to your house.”
His other brow shot up and the surprise on his face was almost comical. “You were?”
“Y-yeah.”
He took a step closer and I held my ground.
“You were coming to see me?” I nodded. “Even after I’ve been a world-class asshole and pushed you away…were you going to offer me a second chance?”
I swallowed hard but tears sprang into my eyes anyway. I nodded but couldn’t form words.
“Mmhm.”
His throat worked as if he was also fighting down his emotions. He slowly placed his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them up and down my arms.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
I whimpered and my tears fell in earnest. “Don’t.” Anger boiled up from my depths and shone through in my voice. He appeared surprised but didn’t release me.
“It’s the truth, baby doll, no matter how much I wish it wasn’t.”
“Fuck that. I know you think you might hurt me, but I trust you. Why can’t you trust yourself? Mari told me what happened and it wasn’t as bad as you make it sound.”
That made him release me and take a step back. He looked as if I’d slapped him. I regretted my words for a heartbeat before deciding I should get it all out while I had his undivided attention.
“I met your sister this morning too. She came by to tell me who she was because she could tell it hurt me to see the two of you together. We had a long talk and…she told me a little about your dad.”
He spun away from me and I thought he meant to leave. The urge to grab him was strong but I couldn’t do it. This one had to be his call.
He stopped at the door and leaned one hand against it with his head bowed. I could hear his hard breaths as if his anger was so great he couldn’t contain it. I sniffed back more tears and wiped my face.
“She didn’t tell me,” he finally said.
“I know. She knew I was going over there tonight though.”
He laughed but there was little humor in it. “The migraine?”
“Um, that might have been a bit of an exaggeration.”
He slowly turned to face me again and leaned back against the door. “And what exactly did you plan to do once you got to my house?”
I took a deep breath, swallowed down my fear and apprehension and decided to just go for it. The worst he could do was leave, which he seemed ready to do anyway. I looked him in the eye so there would be no doubt of my sincerity.
“I planned to tell you that I’m in love with you, and if you don’t get your head out of your ass you’re going to lose the best thing you’ll ever have.”
His eyes widened in surprise and the pulse in his neck jumped. Other than that he made no outward sign he’d even heard me. I also stood rooted to the spot as I waited for his reaction. The jerk made me wait way too long.
I was ready to burst into tears and run to my room when he finally moved toward me. I waited, biting my lip and wringing my hands together.
“You…love me?”
The shock on his face almost made me laugh but I was still too unsure to relax even the slightest bit. “Yes, I do.”
“I can’t…believe this,” he said between kisses. “Never thought…”
“You didn’t?”
“No. No, never.”
“But—”
“I know I don’t deserve you…and I think you’re safer away from me…but you’re mine.”
He growled the final bit and picked me up. I threw my arms around him with a cry of relief as he walked to my bedroom.
“Never again, Megan. I’m never pushing you away again, I swear.”
We landed on the bed and I wrapped myself around him, almost afraid to let go. He hadn’t run away screaming at my confession. This was too good to be true. He kept kissing me and making promises but he didn’t say he loved me. I tried not to notice. I kept kissing him back. But by the time I was naked and he was shirtless, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. He leaned in to nibble on my lips again and I stopped him with both palms against his chest.
“Wait.”
“What, baby doll? What’s wrong?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“What?”
He leaned back and I slid out from beneath him to sit against the headboard. I didn’t try to cover my body and his gaze kept dropping to my breasts.
“Are you just here to fuck me, Sean? Why are you here?”
He frowned for a moment but it quickly cleared. I remained silent as he stood and unbuckled his jeans.
“No, I’m not just here to fuck you. I’ve been a mess the past two weeks. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat…could barely work. All I can think about is you and what you mean to me. It was driving me crazy thinking you might be seeing someone else already. I know Ben always has his eye on you and I wanted to go to the gym and kick his ass.”
“You ended your contract.”
He nodded and lowered his zipper. I crossed my arms against my breasts and he glanced at them again.
“Yeah, I did. Seeing you every day and not talking to you or touching you wouldn’t have been possible. But if I had to watch him or anyone else flirt with you it would’ve driven me over the edge. I couldn’t do it. I haven’t been to any gym since.”
