Where You Can Find Me

by Cole, Fiona

  I moved off his lap and settled next to him with my legs still laying over his. “Do you want a drink or anything to eat? Maybe some ice for your face?”

  “No. I’m fine, thank you. We don’t have to do this now, Luella. I know it’s late and we can always talk tomorrow. I just wanted to see you. Maybe…” He paused as if weighing his words. “Maybe stay the night again. Hold you?”

  An uncontrollable smile came over my face at his hesitance and the red that invaded his cheeks. “Are you inviting yourself over?” He gave me a small shrug and I decided to put him out of his embarrassment. “Of course you can stay. I would love to sleep in your arms. And we can talk now. I fell asleep earlier, so I am up now. Talk to me.”

  He leaned his head back on the couch and gave a heavy sigh. “I don’t even know where to start.” His hand rested on my knee and I dragged my finger along the veins running through the top of his hand extending up his fingers and back to his wrist.

  “Start with what troubles you the most.”

  He blew out a big breath and began telling me about meeting some of his contacts in the criminal world. He explained that he learned none of the usual suspects seemed to have anything to do with the murders. No one mafia-related or any new crime rings trying to gain traction in the area. “At least that’s what my contacts have been saying to me. They’re not always the most reliable people, but usually when you throw enough money around at them, they’re willing to talk. It also doesn’t hurt having Grayson hanging around. He just has this aura of I’ll-fuck-you-up, so that usually adds pressure to these guys to not bullshit me.”

  “I’ll have to meet this Grayson sometime soon.” Jack turned to look at me and leveled a serious look as though judging my sincerity. I just shrugged, confused.

  “Yeah. Maybe sometime soon,” he answered vaguely. I didn’t know what to think of his evasive answer so I let it slide and settled back for the rest of his explanation. “So we’ve been doing a psychological work-up of this killer based off of the small amount of information that we’ve collected.” He paused and gave me an assessing look with lowered eyebrows. “Are you sure you won’t get freaked out by this? I don’t want to scare you.”

  My eyes widened as I tried to be supportive. “No. I mean, I don’t want details, please. But I said I would listen and so here I am, listening.” I tipped my lips up in a flirty smile and raised an eyebrow. “Besides, I have you to hold me tonight and keep me safe. Right?”

  “Of course,” he responded with a wink. “Okay. Good.” He took another breath and continued. “The murders have been picking up in the past year, but even more in the past four months. Now the murders are assumed to have been going on for about three years. But much less in the first two years. Maybe two to three victims in the first two years and then six in the first six months of the year. In the last six months there have been eleven.”

  “Jesus…” It came out as barely a whisper. A feeling of nausea crashed into me at the thought of those poor people. I didn’t know any details about the murders, but I knew enough to remember that they were gruesome. Thankfully, Jack had his head rested on the back of the couch so he couldn’t see my face. His hand gave a small squeeze to my knee before continuing.

  “The psychologist thinks that something has pushed the murderer to another level which is causing an increase in victims. Maybe something drastic happened that altered his thought process. She also thinks that the murderer wants to be discovered. Not so much to be stopped, but to maybe get recognition for what they have done. And they don’t think he, as a person wants to be discovered, but maybe his murders. They think he wants to gain notoriety, like Jack the Ripper. I can’t say that I don’t disagree.”

  I wanted to say something to sound like I knew how to help. To clear the silence, but I often word vomited in times like this, so I clamped my mouth shut and forced any dumb thoughts to remain silent. Thankfully he continued without giving me a chance to make a fool out of myself. He turned to me and asked, “Do you remember when we first talked to Shane? Detective Daniels?” I nodded my head remembering the large, imposing man. “Do you remember how he talked about the newbie cop that put the pieces together about the murder?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded my head again, starting to feel like a bobble head. “You wanted to check him out because it was weird that he discovered the connection.”

  “Exactly! And there lies my issue. The kid, Aimes Bennet, is a fucking weirdo and he rubs me all the wrong ways.” Once Jack began talking about him he started to get fired up. He sat up on the couch and began using his hands to talk. “I mean, who randomly falls upon a serial killer? Why was he looking in the homicide paperwork when he is just a beat cop, when he could get in trouble for digging through files he has no authority over?”

  Jack looked hard at the table with his eyebrows drawn together, as though trying to solve a puzzle that wasn’t there. “The thing is, every time he talks about the murders he’s almost excited by the details. He talks about how perfect they are. How untouchable and unsolvable they are because of how random it all is. He is amazed that no connection can be found between the victims or how or why they are murdered. We can barely link them together. And every time he talks all I can think about is that psychologist report. How the murderer wants people to notice his work and be impressed by it. This kid, this Bennet just rubs me the wrong fucking way. It doesn’t help that he hates me for working this case. Thinks I’m going to steal his ‘thunder’”

  A sinking feeling settled in my stomach as Jack turned to look at me. A serious look came over his face, his eyes hard and unflinching, and I could imagine that it was the same face he used while working a case and talking to the criminals he mentioned before. “They say the best place to hide is in plain sight. Everyone is looking around corners and in shadows and there you are standing right in front of them, where they can find you. My gut says that the killer is right in front of us. What if my gut is trying to tell me something about Aimes? What if I’m missing it?”

  His eyes held worry and sadness, like he regretted not being able to solve this case. I felt a stinging behind my eyes and a clog in my throat that hurt to swallow. Jack needed me to listen, to be a sounding board. Not someone who fell apart at the tragedy of the situation. That wouldn’t be helpful. So I took a breath and held it together, hardening my face to be one of intent listening.

  “After the past month of seeing all the connections and this kid acting like an excited puppy every time he gets around the case, I kind of lost my cool today. I got in his face and I didn’t exactly hide my contempt. He kept pushing my buttons and asking what the hell I was doing there anyways. He has his panties in a twist that Shane talks to me about the case more than him. I taunted him with it and may have shoved him a little bit. Things escalated quickly, but he took a swing at me and landed a punch. I actually let him land the punch in hopes that I would be able to pummel his sorry ass into the ground, but Grayson stepped in and pulled me back while Shane got Bennet under control.

  “I just … I just don’t know right now what to do.” He leaned forward and ran his hands through his hair before turning back to me. “What the hell do I do, Lu? Am I just at the end of my rope and trying to pin this on someone or do I go with my gut that’s telling me I’m closer to this killer than I think? My gut has almost always pushed me in the right direction, but right now I’m just not sure which way to turn. I feel like I’m grasping blindly at straws hoping one of them is what I am looking for.” His eyes pleaded with me to give him answers that I just didn’t have. I felt a tightness in my chest at my uselessness. Other than listening, I didn’t have anything to offer him.

  He dropped his head into his hands with his elbows propped on his knees. I reached out and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him as best as I could. “I’m sorry, Jack. I don’t know what to say. If your gut is telling you something, maybe you shouldn’t ignore it completely, but also not act on it until you have more solid details.”

 
; His hands fisted in his hair with frustration. “That’s the problem. There are so few details. This guy is so clean. Absolutely no trace left behind. It can only mean he knows the ins and outs of a case and what the police would be looking for. He knows what he is doing.”

  “So you know it’s a guy?”

  He lifted his head and turned it just enough to look at me. His eyes held the hesitation to explain more. “The victims … their bodies showed signs of … of forced penetration.”

  I couldn’t prevent the tears that coated my eyes. I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm, but it was too much. It’s one thing to think you know about what is going on, or to think you know because you watch crime shows. It’s completely different to have direct knowledge of an actual case that was happening around you. I took a few more deep breaths, trying to calm down.

  “Shit, Luella. I’m sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have talked to you about this.” Jack reached over and wrapped both arms around me, bringing my head to his chest. I could hear his heart racing and knew this was harder on him than me and I needed to get it together to listen like I said I would.

  “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten upset like that. It’s just … real.” I scrunched my eyebrows and sat up shaking my head to clear it. “I said I would listen and not let it bother me. So I am. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t be of more use to you.”

  He brushed the hair back from my cheek. “You are great. Thank you for listening. And your advice was perfect. I need to keep my reactions in check until I have more solid ground to move on. Thank you.” He leaned in to brush his lips on my cheek, lingering long enough to make me want more. I turned my face and placed my lips on his. Each kiss began lingering a little bit longer than the last as his hands moved to my hips and one made its way up to brush along my ribs and breast.

  I pulled back. “Let’s go to bed. You can hold me tonight and we can pretend all is okay right now. Let’s pretend.”

  “There is no need to pretend. When I’m with you everything is more than okay.”

  My chest expanded to encompass the huge feeling that took up residence in my heart as I bit my lip to control the smile that tried to overtake my face. Jack reached around me and gripped my bottom, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we made our way upstairs for the night where he proved to me until dawn that everything was more than okay. I would have said it was phenomenally fantastic.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hold My Hand - Jess Glynne

  The next morning Jack stayed for breakfast. He even made it. He made the best scrambled eggs and toast I had ever had. I think the fact that he didn’t have a shirt on made it taste much better than any other breakfast. I sat at the table and ogled his chest. It had a light dusting of hair, just enough to make it manly. He didn’t have an insane twelve pack of abs, but a definable six with those magical side muscles that pointed me in the direction of the happiness that hung between his legs. Good God, the man was delicious.

  “I’ll have to leave once breakfast is done. I am meeting Grayson later to check out another contact.” He dished out the food onto plates and brought them to the table, sitting down to eat.

  “So when do I get to meet this elusive Grayson?” Jack’s fork froze on its ascent to his mouth for a second.

  He avoided eye contact as he murmured a quick, “Sometime soon, I’m sure.”

  I set my fork down and confronted him. He acted strange every time I asked about meeting his friend and I tried to have enough confidence to hope it wasn’t me but, in all honesty, I struggled to keep thinking that. “What’s up with you not wanting me to meet Grayson?”

  He looked up with his eyebrows lowered in a look of denial. “I never said I didn’t want you to meet him.”

  “No. You just tense up and act evasive every time I bring up meeting him. I mean, if you don’t want me to meet him or you want to keep our relationship separate, then just let me know. I know we just really took the next step and maybe I’m thinking too much. You haven’t met Evie yet, but I want you to. And maybe this is just one-sided and I’ve managed to—”

  Jack put his finger against my lips to stop me from talking. “Luella. Stop. I don’t want to keep you separate from my life. Stop overthinking this.” He removed his finger and leaned forward to peck my lips. He sat back as he rubbed his hand over his hair and down his face, taking a deep breath. He seemed to be considering his words and I began to worry. “It’s not that I don’t want you to meet Grayson; he’s my best friend. He is more than that; he’s my brother and I trust him with everything, including my life. He’s saved it enough times.” Taking a deep breath he looked up at me and seemed to have made a decision to tell me something I may not like. I took my own deep breath and braced myself for the worst. “I know we talked about how we hooked up at the bar and how out of the norm it was for us. But that doesn’t mean I have been celibate or in a relationship every time I have sex.”

  I nodded my head slowly and tried to control my widening eyes. I didn’t want him to back down from what he wanted to say just because my face couldn’t control the confusion and worry. “Okaaay.”

  “Shit. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Maybe it doesn’t need to be said.” He broke eye contact and shook his head as though trying clear it. “Basically, Grayson knows about my sexual exploits and … and I just don’t want you to meet him and for him to expect more from you than either of us is prepared for. He’s very forward.”

  I was pretty sure my eyebrows rose to my hairline because I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He noticed my confusion and leveled a stare at me. “Grayson and I have shared a lot of women in the past. It’s a common thing. I didn’t want him to meet you and say something without you understanding that. At the same time I didn’t want to tell you that and freak you out and make you think I’m some kind of man-whore.”

  I watched him say it all calmly. I stared at him for a bit as I dragged my fingers back and forth across my lips, processing what he said. After some thought, I decided to let it go. I was more curious than anything. So he had all kinds of crazy sex. As long as he didn’t have it with others while he was with me, then I didn’t care. After a long pause where he began to look a little panicked by my silence, I fell back on my usual reaction: awkward humor.

  “So … is Grayson hot?” One eyebrow rose as he tilted his head to the side. “I mean if I’m going to imagine you having a threesome and insert myself in that mental image, then I need to make sure the other guy is hot.”

  Jack’s head fell back as deep laughter came from his shaking chest. It vibrated across the room and settled around me. His laugh made me feel warm and happy. I loved the way his mouth stretched wide, showing the lines around his mouth. He finally got himself under control and looked at me with humor lingering in his eyes. I rested my elbow on the table and placed my chin in my hand. “I’m glad you find me so funny.”

  “Lu, you are a surprise at every turn. Here I am sweating bullets about what you’ll think of me and you’re over there imagining have a threesome with Grayson.” I just shrugged my shoulders shamelessly. “Hey, baby. Whatever you want.”

  We both laughed a little more before I asked him to tell me more about Grayson.

  “Well, like I said, he’s more like a brother than anything. We’ve been through a lot together while we were in the military. He always supported me. There were times when I struggled with my duties as a sniper, but Grayson, Grayson loved it. He had that mentality that doing what needed to be done didn’t bother him. He would try and help me see it that way when I struggled. He enjoyed being a sniper. I think it was hard for him when he got out. That was when I moved here and I was able to help support him. He never really talked about why he struggled so much, but after a year or so he managed to push through. I mean, we all adjust differently. He hit another rough patch when his mom died three years ago. But we stuck it out. Part of me thought that was going to be it for him. T
hat would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. His anger would get the best of him but I was always able to talk him down and once the company started taking off, he was able to focus on that.”

  “He sounds like a great guy. You both are lucky to have that friendship and brotherly bond.”

  “Definitely. He’s pulled my ass out of the fire more times than I can count. I mean, yesterday he stopped me from letting my temper get the best of me. He’s always there to pull me back. We both are.”

  I smiled, hearing the fondness in his voice. I could tell how much Grayson meant to him. He was Jack’s Evie. “Well, I can’t wait to meet him. He seems like an important part of who you are.”

  “Yeah. I’m sure he will have a lot to say about you. He likes to embarrass me and push my buttons. But he would never do anything to seriously piss me off.”

  After we finished eating and cleaning up we shared a shower where Jack proceeded to give me a hickey on my breast and two orgasms. I loved the way he made me feel small and weightless while he held me against the wall and fucked me, whispering a mixture of sweet and dirty words in my ear. I could get used to him showering with me every morning.

  Once we got out, he left for his meeting with Grayson and I remained standing in my kitchen drinking a cup of coffee trying to decide what to do for the day. I leaned against the counter and stared out my back window contemplating my options.