Forsaken

by Kristen Day

  “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Stasia.”

  I turned on him again as a fresh wave of anger engulfed me. “Drowning me is you NOT trying to hurt me? Is that supposed to make me feel better?!”

  “I wouldn’t have been able to convince you any other way.”

  “So that was your solution?!”

  “I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you.” He tried to touch my arm, but I slid out of his reach and glared at him.

  “How long were you deciding to hold me down there and watch me drown?! Did you ever consider the crazy possibility that I wouldn’t be able to breathe underwater?”

  “I can’t explain how I know; you just have to trust me.”

  “Trust you? You want me to trust you after what just happened?” Tears poured down my face. He stepped closer.

  “You’re special, Stasia. You don’t know the amazing things you’re capable of. I want to show you who you really are.” The tenderness in his eyes only upset me more.

  “Don’t say things like that! You don’t even know me!” I put my hands on his chest and pushed him, but I could have been pushing on a cement wall for all the good it did, “You don’t know the things I’ve been through! You don’t know the things I’ve seen! Look at me Finn, I’m not special! I’m broken!”

  “Once you’ve been touched by evil, it never leaves you,” I looked up at his words, laced with understanding, “but it doesn’t define you. Evil didn’t break you, Stasia, it built you up. Made you stronger.” Looking up at him, I almost believed him. I narrowed my eyes.

  “What do you know about evil? Do you know what it’s like to be scared for your life every single day!? Do you?!” I pounded on his chest uselessly with my fists as emotions coursed through me. He just stood there silent, taking it. My anger eventually faded to humiliation, which turned to exhaustion. I collapsed against him, my hands and forehead pressed against his chest. I felt his fingers at the nape of my neck and his thumb lifted my chin.

  “Anastasia…” he whispered. I heard the longing in his voice as he lightly ran his thumb over my lips. His eyes took me in and with no fight left, I gave in to them. The smell of the salt water that clung to his body filled my senses and I let the sound of the ocean caress my ears. He leaned closer, holding my gaze. His closeness made my anger evaporate, replaced by a desire so strong, it threatened to consume me. All I could think about were his lips, inches from my own.

  “Kiss me…” I heard myself whisper. His other arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him abruptly. The next instant his mouth crushed mine with such hunger, my own desire overpowered me and I was lost in it. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the heat of his skin burned against mine. The coolness of his wet hair sizzled in my fingers as I clung to him.

  His lips parted mine as I felt his tongue deepening the kiss. It did something to me I had no control over. I wanted more. I wanted all of him. Still kissing me, he easily lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me farther up toward the dunes and I could feel the muscles in his shoulders as he lowered me down onto the cool sand. He gazed down at me with stormy, hooded eyes and I saw a trace of sadness in them again. He looked at war with himself, but finally pressed down on top of me, slipping one arm under the small of my back, pulling me against him again. My entire body responded to his touch. I ran my fingertips down his back and felt him shudder. Every kiss burned hotter than the one before. Every touch lit a new fire on my skin.

  Too soon, he slowed our kisses, until they were only light pecks. Ever so gently, he kissed my cheeks, my nose, and then my lips again. His mouth lingered and I fought the urge to pull him back down on top of me. Lying on his side, he delicately took my hand and threaded his fingers through mine in a gesture I was starting to love.

  As much as he frightened me, he was unlocking an entirely new world for me. One with endless possibilities. The ability to breathe underwater? It was so unbelievable, I still wasn’t sure I did it. I knew without a doubt there was no one else I’d rather have with me through this. I reached for him and he held me tight, lightly running his fingers through my hair. I felt a virtual safety net wrap around me as the security of his arms lifted some of the weight I’d always carried on my shoulders. The rest of the world felt miles away from us and I wanted to stay there forever.

  “Promise me you’ll give me a warning next time you want to convince me of something. I’ll give you a red flag to wave or something.” I smiled up at him lazily.

  “I definitely will. I don’t want to get beaten up again.” he grinned back down at me.

  “Since I can breathe underwater, should I expect my legs to morph into a fishtail?” I wiggled my feet in the air.

  “I can assure you that won’t happen.” he rolled his eyes at me.

  “Oh good, that would really hinder a lot things. Like walking. Or wearing pants.” I frowned.

  “Or playing kickball,” Finn added, clearly amused by my logic.

  “Or playing footsy,” I tried to tickle his foot with my toes. I saw his leather anklet again.

  “Black onyx?” I asked, as I touch it with my foot.

  “That’s right – it’s the stone of protection.” He said. I tried to decide if I should ask him what he needed protection from when I remembered my own new jewelry.

  “Kira gave me turquoise bracelet,” I told him and then sat up to show him.

  “It fits you,” he turned his attention to the ocean, “although an aquamarine would be better.”

  I waited for more of an explanation, “because it matches your eyes,” he added, a little too rushed. I got the feeling that wasn’t the reason he was really thinking of. I made a mental note to research aquamarine, since it must hold a special meaning for him. I remembered him saying it symbolized foresight and courage, but that was all I knew. If you needed protection, courage would have to be at the top of the important qualities list. Then something else hit me. Maybe he knew more about evil than I thought.

  “Will the black onyx protect you from…a curse?”

  His expression turned surprised, “A curse?”

  “Well… I heard that you’re, um…” A nervous knot tightened in my stomach and I looked down at the sand, running my fingers through it. There was no turning back now. “…that you’re cursed.” I looked back up at him timidly. He laughed and shook his head.

  “Is that what they’re calling it these days?” He laughed darkly. His eyes locked on mine, making it impossible for me to look away and all lightheartedness left his tone, “I’m not cursed, Stasia, it’s something much worse than that.” He leaned toward me, “I’ve been Chosen.”

  I felt my eyes widen. “You’re….Chosen?” Well, that was a new development. Suddenly, I felt very small in comparison. “That’s incredible. But, I thought being Chosen was a great honor?”

  His face turned menacing and he shifted away from me. “Not always. Sometimes being Chosen comes with a very high price.” He stood suddenly and walked to the ocean. I followed farther behind, giving him room. He stopped at the water’s edge and ran his hand through his hair. Another habit of his I was beginning to fall in love with. In the moonlight, his hair matched the black onyx stones glistening around his ankle. The pale light cast a sinister shadow on his face, making him appear dangerous. And beautiful. I reached for his hand.

  “What price do you have to pay?” I asked quietly.

  “Why do you want to know?” His jaw clenched and the unexpected ferocity in his eyes had me taking a step back. He reached for my hand, pulling me back to him. The anger was instantly replaced by complete surrender.

  “I’m not the one who has to pay it,” he whispered, running his finger across my lips again. He dropped his hand, turned, and walked out into the ocean. I watched as he lightly skimmed his fingertips over the foaming water in a slow circular motion. The water around him began to dance. As I looked on, he seemed to become a part of the water, moving to the cadence of the waves. I found myself walking out to him
without knowing it. He turned to face me as I approached and I could see the teal and green hues in his eyes again. His hands eclipsed mine, slowly guiding them across the top of the water in the same rhythm. As I looked in his eyes, I heard it.

  Singing. The same melody I heard in the bathtub, in the ocean that first day, and in class. I closed my eyes and listened. What I thought was a woman’s voice was actually just the soprano of the larger melody. Listening closer, I realized it resembled the sounds of a hundred violins. Flowing in to my soul, it embraced me fully and I felt my body swaying to its tempo. Like a field of grain bending in unison to the wind, I let it take control of me. I opened my eyes to see that Finn had been watching me. The sadness in his eyes had retreated and he was eyeing me with wonder.

  “Can you hear it, Stasia?”

  I nodded “I think I feel it more than I hear it. It’s amazing.” I glanced down at the dancing water surrounding us. “What is it?”

  “The ocean,” his face brightened, “reaching out to you. Not everyone can hear it. It only embraces the pure of heart,” he said, sounding wiser than his years. He lifted our hands and the sound began to fade as the water took on its silvery quality once again.

  “I’ve heard it before; I just didn’t know what it was.”

  “It was calling to you,” he smiled knowingly.

  On the way back up the beach, I began to feel slightly overwhelmed with all of the information I’d digested. “There’s so much I don’t know. So much I still have to learn.”

  “It comes with time,” he looked at me with a sudden seriousness, “but right now we have a bigger issue.”

  “What’s that?” I didn’t know if I could handle any more earth shattering revelations tonight.

  “Why you have sand all over you.”

  “I don’t have….” Before I could finish, he swept my legs out from under me and caught me mid-fall. He lowered me onto my back on the sand. Not one to give up on a good fight, I caught him off balance and yanked him down beside me. Seeing my opportunity, I scrambled back to my feet and started up the beach to our sitting spot near the dunes. Suddenly, he easily picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

  “I win.” he declared, as he lowered me down in front of the dunes.

  “Well, enjoy it now because this’ll be the last time I let that happen. I want a rematch.”

  His blue eyes lit up and a deliberate grin appeared, “Anytime you want to wrestle, I’m game.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and pushed his shoulder playfully. He smiled and wrapped me up in his arms. I could smell his woodsy scent mixed in with the sand and the sea, as I breathed him in and closed my eyes. He smelled like a warm summer breeze.

  “I’ve dreamt about you,” I blurted out for no apparent reason. I felt the need to explain further, “I mean…I see you sometimes, in my dreams. Carmen told me they could be reveries.”

  “Is that how you do it?” he asked. I looked up in surprise at his words.

  “You can…you actually do see me?” I whispered in disbelief.

  “Your soul shouldn’t be visible to anyone in reveries, even me.” His dark blue eyes brightened as he watched me closely. “But you’ve always just…appeared. Then poof, you’re gone again.”

  As my real world and my dream world suddenly collided, I felt slightly off-kilter. And not in a good way.

  “I thought you recognized me the first day I was here, but I wasn’t sure. And you saved me….” I wasn’t sure how to finish. He probably knew I could breathe under water then too. Why did he go to all that trouble if he knew I wouldn’t die? “Why’d you save me if you knew I could breathe under water?”

  “You didn’t know you could breathe under water, plus I knew you were scared.” he grinned at me, amused by my question.

  “I wasn’t scared,” I retorted.

  “I must have imagined that look of sheer panic on your face then,” he mocked me and I thought about how many looks of sheer panic he’d seen on my face in my reveries. No wonder he recognized it so quickly. How humiliating.

  “The seaweed wrapped around my legs and wouldn’t let go! Then all the fish…” I noticed how hard he was trying not to laugh. I sat up and put my hands on my hips, “I hope some seaweed attacks you someday so you know how it feels.”

  “I’ll be sure to keep my seaweed machete on me at all times,” he laughed.

  “Not funny. You are officially banned from my reveries.” I suppressed a giggle. I mean, who gets attacked by seaweed? Me, that’s who.

  He watched me for a moment, thoughtful. “Did you have one today?”

  “No…” I recalled the entire day. No dreams. No blackouts. “Why?”

  “Just wondering how frequent they are.” But something told me that wasn’t why he wanted to know. He looked at the ocean in deep thought.

  “I don’t understand how we could see each other in my reveries before we even met,” I said, willing him to share his thoughts with me.

  Instead, he stood and pulled me up with him, tucking me in his arms. No matter how many times he touched me, it always felt like the first time. His skin sizzled against mine.

  “The first time I saw you, I knew I would never be the same.” He leaned down, lips inches from mine, “I didn’t know if you were real. But then I touched you. Felt that you were really here and I knew you’d finally come back.”

  “Come back?” I whispered as he leaned down to kiss me. My question was lost to me as my entire body caught fire.

  Chapter 16

  I listened to my phone beep for close to ten minutes, hoping I’d be able to tune it out and go back to sleep. I finally gave up and reached for it on my nightstand. Kira had texted me wanting me to call her. I threw the covers back over my head and stretched my legs, still smiling from last night. I had probably slept with a big goofy grin on my face too. Good thing I didn’t share a room with anyone. Finn had walked me back to Maren and then walked the short distance to Rostrum, right next door. Knowing he was so close brought another smile to my face. My heart pounded as I pictured him lying in bed sleeping; covers gathered around his waist, bare chest, messy hair…

  A loud bang in the kitchen made me sit straight up in bed. I opened my door and saw Carmen bending over, cleaning the floor as curse words flew from her mouth.

  “Shhh! You’re going to wake up Stasia!” Phoebe shushed her from the living room.

  “It’s okay, Stasia’s already awake,” I smiled as I sat down on the couch.

  “How’re you feeling? You missed an awesome movie last night!”

  “Worst. Movie. Ever.” Carmen muttered from the kitchen.

  “Actually, I started feeling better after you guys left and I went down to the beach.”

  “By yourself?” Carmen looked up from her mess.

  “Well…” I hesitated.

  “You were with Finn weren’t you?” she accused me.

  “Finn?” Phoebe squeaked, “As in Finn? Like, THE Finn?”

  “Yes Phoebe, THE Finn. And he’s not cursed, you guys, he’s Chosen.” I began to back pedal. I knew this wouldn’t go well.

  “Chosen or not Chosen, he’s cursed. I heard that anyone who gets involved with him will lose their soul.” Phoebe whispered, her eyes wide.

  “They won’t lose their soul, it’s held captive in the Underworld,” Carmen corrected her, “and their body will stay here, never to be reunited.”

  “Just an empty body, not really dead, but not really alive either,” Phoebe added, grimacing.

  “I seriously doubt that’s true, you guys.” I shook my head at them. They were starting to sound like a bad sci-fi movie.

  Willow’s bedroom door swung open and we all turned to say good morning, but stopped short when we saw the defeated look on her face. Her eyes were red and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

  “Willow! What is it? What’s wrong?” Phoebe ran over to her.

  “She’s gone.” She stared at us blankly.

  “Who’s gone?” Carmen handed
her a tissue.

  “Nicolet. She’s gone.”

  “What? How do you know? What happened!?” Phoebe cried.

  “Who’s Nicolet?” I asked. Willow’s watery eyes shifted to me and her tears began to flow steadily.

  “She’s a graduate student here,” her face crumpled, “was a graduate student here. I…I just met with her two days ago. I didn’t hear from her yesterday, but I thought…I just thought….” Her sobs took over and Phoebe held her tightly, gesturing for Carmen to get more tissues.

  My phone rang, so I ran back to my bedroom to grab it. It was Kira.

  “Hey Stasia,” I heard something heavy in her voice, “I’m sure you guys have heard already, but I wanted to call and talk to you.” She sniffed and I knew she’d been crying. “One of the graduate students, my roommate…..she passed away. They found her. They think it was…a suicide.” Her voice caught on the last part.

  “Oh, Kira, I’m so sorry.” I instantly felt horrible for not calling her back sooner.

  “It doesn’t seem real. I just don’t understand.” She was silent for a moment, “Is Willow alright? Nicolet was her mentor.”

  “She’s really upset, but we’re taking care of her. I hope you know I’m here for you too, Kira.”

  “Thanks Stasia, that means a lot to me.” I could tell she was crying again, “I wanted to let you guys know there’ll be a candlelight vigil for her on the beach at sunset.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  ~Ӂ~

  That night, we made our way down to the vigil. A dark shadow had descended upon the entire school, as word of Nicolet’s suicide circulated. The rumor was that she had been missing since yesterday morning and a couple of Tritons had found her body this morning near a boardwalk on the north side of campus. Her wrists had been slit.