Kaylee looked at him like he had grown three heads. "So, I'm just supposed to watch hot girls with my boyfriend all the time? I don't think so! And I can't believe you're taking his side." She stood up. "Thanks for being there for me, big brother," she said, and stormed out of the room.
She went to the bus waiting out back for them, and crawled into her bunk, closing the curtain behind her. She didn't want to talk to anyone for the rest of the night.
Ashton heard the bus door open and slam shut. He knew that it was her without even looking. Her high-heeled shoes pounded angrily onto the floor as she made her way to the bunk area. For a moment, Ashton was nervous with anticipation, just waiting for her to fling open his curtain so they could hash it out.
But the flinging never happened. He heard her jump into her bunk, then close her own curtain. It took everything in him not to go to her. Yes, it hurt that she didn't trust him, but he still loved her. He didn't want to lose her, especially not over some groupie. He desperately wanted to make it better, to get her back and stop her from hurting. But he just wasn't sure how. As his eyes drifted shut, he vowed that he would show her that she could trust him, and that he would get her back.
Kaylee lay in her bunk, fully aware that Ashton was in his. She was surprised that he hadn't come to talk to her, but at the same time, she was relieved. She knew that as soon as she looked into his eyes and saw him smile at her, her resolve would melt.
A part of her understood what Noah had told her, that they couldn't go around offending the fans, but it still didn't change the fact that she was worried one of those girls would catch Ashton's eye. It was better for them to be apart, to make a clean break now, before anyone got hurt. The only problem was, there were already two people hurt, along with the potential for the rest of the band to be hurt in all this.
She sighed and closed her eyes. She just hoped that over time, the hurt from losing Ashton wouldn't sting so much.
Tension filled the bus the next day, as Ashton and Kaylee kept to separate ends. Ashton was in the back with Noah, working on a new song, while Kaylee was up front, reading a book on the couch.
At least, Kaylee thought she was reading it, but after she realized she read the same page a hundred times and still had no clue what it said, she knew that she was too distracted to read.
Jayden and Colton sat at the table, playing an exciting game of 'Go Fish', trying to stay out of everyone's way. They had talked the night before, and while Colton was on Kaylee's side, Jayden decided it would be best if he was neutral and didn't take sides. He thought they were both right in their own ways, but wouldn't admit it to either one.
The tension was killing Kaylee. She felt like a caged lion on the bus for the first time since the band had started touring. So when they finally rolled to a stop outside the next concert venue, she was the first off the bus.
Kaylee threw herself into preparing for the concert. She had a lot of pent up energy to get rid of, and did so by running around the auditorium, making sure everything was in place for their set.
An hour before the show, it was all she could do to sit still for hair and makeup. The only thing helping her was that she wanted to look extra good for the concert. In her mind, she needed to show Ashton that she could be hot too, and maybe even show him that he threw away the best thing to have ever happened to him.
As she looked in the mirror, her confidence faded fast. She'd never look like some of those girls he had been attracted to before, like the ones who are always backstage for the after parties. She'd never be as skinny as them, even though she wasn't fat. And they were model-type women, whereas she was more the girl next door.
Kaylee realized that she just couldn't compete. Defeated, she left the dressing room to go and rehearse.
The concert went well that night. She and Ashton put on a show for the crowd with some light-hearted banter, but it wasn't the same as usual, and it wasn't real. Neither one had been overly happy to be on stage with the other, but the average concert-goer couldn't tell by their performance.
At the party after the show, they kept to opposite sides of the room. Ashton made sure that his female admirers were kept an arm's distance away from him, not wanting them to cause any more problems than they had already. Kaylee on the other hand, was flirting with every man in sight, as if she needed the reassurance that someone found her attractive.
There was one guy though, whom she realized she got in over her head with. He was staring at her with lecherous eyes that never went higher than her chest. As many times as she tried to excuse herself, he followed her wherever she went. She was beginning to understand what Noah meant when he said that they couldn't offend the fans. As much as she wanted to yell at the sleaze to get away from her, she knew that would only cause more problems.
Once he had her backed into a corner, Kaylee knew she was in trouble. He leaned in for a kiss, and just as his lips met hers, she felt them leave again. She looked up to see Ashton pull the man off her by the back of his shirt. The anger in his eyes was unmistakable.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, kissing my girlfriend?" he yelled at the man.
As much as Kaylee wanted to be away from the fan, she knew she had to step in.
"I'm not your girlfriend anymore, remember?" she bit at him. "And if you recall, you were in the opposite position last night, and couldn't understand why I was upset. It's fine when it happens to you, but not me, is that right?" she asked, not expecting an answer.
Ashton's face fell. He knew she was right. In that instance, he had seen red when he looked over at Kaylee and saw the guy trying to kiss her.
"Kaylee, I'm sorry!" he yelled to her, as she tore out of the room.
She stopped quickly and turned around, tears filling her eyes. "Don't. Just don't," she growled, with her hands up in resignation. The hurt in her eyes was unmistakable as everyone in the room watched her turn and leave. All was quiet for a minute because no one knew what to say.
Ashton broke the silence by throwing his glass at the closest wall, watching it smash into tiny pieces and rain onto the floor. Colton went over and put his hand on Ashton's shoulder. "Come on man, let's get out of here and cool off."
Colton led him to the exit and pushed him outside.
"Are you happy now?" Colton asked him, glaring.
Ashton looked up at Colton. "What do you think, man?" his voice wavered. "I understand that she was upset last night, and I understand why. That's not the problem. The problem is that she doesn't trust me, and without trust, there is no relationship. And I just made things worse."
He shook his head, trying to get his thoughts together. "But I will get her back. I'll show her that she can trust me, and that we can be together and happy, if it's the last thing I do," Ashton promised.
Colton looked at the determination in Ashton's eyes and knew that he was right. He would do everything he could to get her back, and eventually they'd be alright. How he was going to do it remained to be seen, but it was something Colton looked forward to sitting back and watching.
Chapter 26
It had been five days, five very long days since Kaylee and Ashton had last spoken. One hundred and twenty hours had passed since their last exchange of words. In a normal world, it would have been undesirable, but alright. Living together in a house, it would have been annoying. But living together on a tour bus where the quarters were tight, five days of tension and silence was insufferable.
But with their next concert being played that night, Ashton had a plan. He was sure that it would make everything alright. His first course of action would be the hardest, but the most crucial. He needed to get Kaylee back on his side, even if it was just as friends, on the way to his final destination.
He saw her, sitting at the front of the bus, reading again. She was alone. He knew that because the rest of the guys were in the back playing a video game. It was the perfect opportunity for him, and he wasn't going to let it pass. He slowly approached her, like a man hunting his p
rey. He didn't want to make any sudden movements to send her scurrying back into the woods...or the back of the bus.
Ashton decided to sit on the couch opposite the one that she was sitting on, so that they were facing each other. "Kaylee?" he asked gently. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Kaylee was surprised by the gentleness in his voice. It almost sounded like he was afraid or nervous. That wasn't like Ashton at all. She looked up hesitantly from her book, almost afraid of what she would see. Thankfully, she didn't see a man who was broken, even though that was how he had sounded. Sure, he looked a little worse for wear, but that happened when you got stuck on a tour bus for weeks at a time. Other than that, he was still the same stunning Ashton.
"I guess, but I really don't want to fight right now."
"I know. I don't want to fight either. I actually wanted to apologize to you," he told her. He leaned a little closer so they didn't have to talk too loud. This wasn't what he wanted the rest of the guys to hear. He put his elbows on his knees and leaned into the aisle separating the two couches, and finally looked up at Kaylee's face.
"I am so sorry for overreacting to that guy the other night. I know that you think I was doing the same thing as you, and in a way I was, but all I could see was that guy attacking you a few months back, and it scared me. I didn't want it to get that far, I didn't want that guy to push you to that point, or take you somewhere unsafe. I completely flashed back to that night, and I acted without thinking. I'm sorry if I hurt you, or if I embarrassed you."
Kaylee thought for a moment. She didn't realize he still thought of that night. "So it wasn't just about some guy kissing me? You weren't just trying to stake your claim?"
"I'm not going to lie, part of it was the fact that I still see you as my girlfriend, and I didn't want to see another guy kissing you, but that was such a small part that it barely registered. I saw the look on your face before he kissed you, and it sent my adrenaline flowing. From that point, all I knew was that I had to protect you at all costs."
Kaylee was at a loss for words. More and more, she was realizing that the night she was almost raped affected more than her, it affected Ashton too, and he was still living with it, while she was trying to move past it.
"But I didn't come up here to talk about that. I came to say that I was sorry, and ask if we can at least be friends. I get that you don't want to be with me right now, but I can't live without you in my life. It's only been five days, and I feel so lost without you. If I can't have you as my girlfriend, can I at least have you as my friend?"
Kaylee was stunned. Not only had he admitted that he still thought of that night, but now he just wanted to be friends? She definitely wasn't expecting that.
"I-I guess," she stuttered.
"Great!" he smiled. He stood up and leaned over her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll let you get back to your book now."
She watched him walk back to the rear of the bus where the rest of the guys were. He was happy now, but he was happy being her friend. She wondered how they could have gone from being happy and in love less than a week ago to being just friends? It was all too confusing for her, but if that was how he wanted it...
Ashton walked into the back of the bus, all smiles. The guys hadn't seen him this way since before the big fight between him and Kaylee, so they were curious as to what happened.
"What's your problem?" Jayden asked, voicing the thoughts in the rest of the guys heads.
"Kaylee and I are friends now. Hopefully it will get rid of the tension on the bus and put her and me one step closer to reconciling," he told them with a smile on his face, as he plopped down on one of the couches. In his head, he was going over how the rest of the plan would work out, as he tuned the guys out and set his full concentration on getting Kaylee back.
Over the next few hours, things seemed to be getting better on the bus. There were no awkward silences, no murderous glances, and no threats on Ashton's manhood. But the only one who seemed to be annoyed was Kaylee. Of course, she loved that they were all getting along, but it annoyed her that Ashton was fine with just being friends with her, when all she wanted to do was kiss him passionately.
Most of the time, Ashton was either in his bunk or in the back all alone, probably writing a new song. When he was with the rest of them, he was always in a good mood.
Kaylee was going crazy with her thoughts. The more she sat on that bus, and the happier she saw Ashton, the more insane she became. It was getting almost to the point where she dreaded the rest of the tour.
Finally, they rolled into the concert venue, and just as every other time recently, Kaylee was the first off the bus. The guys all watched her beat her retreat, then looked to Ashton for answers. "What's she so freaked about? I thought you said it was going to get better?" Colton questioned him.
Ashton smiled, knowing that he was getting to her. "It will get better, I promise. This is just phase one of my plan. Two and three will be tonight, and depending on how she reacts to that, four will be at the next concert. But I have a feeling she'll feel a little better on the bus after the show."
"Why can't you just leave her alone and quit playing these games with her?" Colton snapped. "She deserves better than this. You need to quit fucking with her head!"
Ashton lunged at Colton. "Hear me now and understand this," he snarled, grasping him by his shirt and pushing him back against the wall. "I am not fucking with her head. I love her more than anything, and I'm willing to do whatever I have to do to get her back. I would never hurt her, but I won't rest until I have her back. Got it?"
Colton looked into the fiery eyes of Ashton and pushed his hands off his shirt. "Yeah, I got it. Just don't do anything stupid."
He pushed past Ashton and left the bus, the other guys trailing behind him.
Half an hour before the show, Ashton put phase two of his plan into action. He walked through the halls until he got to the wing on the side of the stage. Just as he'd predicted, Kaylee was standing there, peering through a small slit in the curtain.
"Nervous?" he asked softly, as he walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"This is by far the biggest crowd I've ever played in front of," she answered, not turning around to look at him. Instead, she kept her eyes on the rapidly filling seats. To her, it looked like one of the scenes you see on TV, where they show a crowd filling into their seats in fast forward...where the stadium goes from empty to capacity in about ten seconds flat.
Ashton had both hands on her shoulders, giving her a soft massage to ease her tense muscles. "Just relax. Remember, it's just us up there, with no one else around. If you get scared or lost, just close your eyes and picture it being just the five of us. Or if that doesn't work, just look over at me, and I'll take care of it."
Kaylee rolled her head forward and concentrated on the feel of his hands kneading her muscles. Slowly, the tension left her body, and she entered a world of peace and satisfaction. She felt light and loose, thankful that Ashton was there for her.
All too soon, his ministrations stopped, but they had served their purpose. Though she was no longer floating in the land of oblivion, she was still feeling considerably better than before, and she had only Ashton to thank for it.
But as she turned around to thank him, she noticed that he was already gone. Though she was a little disappointed that he had left, she was grateful that she could avoid the awkward moment of thanking him, while not knowing what he was feeling toward her.
The concert played well, and even though Kaylee was nervous before, she got through the show just fine. Ashton noticed her close her eyes a few times during the first song, but after that, she was fine. She looked relaxed and confident, but sometimes it just took a little while to warm up on stage.
At the after party, he planned to put phase three into effect. It wasn't that any of his first three phases were anything major, but they were important. He needed them to show her that he was on her side, that he cared for her, and that e
ven though she didn't think she could, deep down she knew she could trust him.
Since they had such a large crowd for the concert, they had a larger than normal after-party backstage. Luckily, the concert venue had a room big enough to accommodate all of the people, but it was still a little crowded. Ashton made sure to keep Kaylee in his sight, and tried to stay relatively close to her all night. He noticed that she had been watching him every so often, and on more than one occasion, he knew that she had seen him turn girls down who were hitting on him.
If Ashton was honest with himself, he'd have to admit that turning those girls down was a lot easier than he thought it would be. Sure, they looked good, and might give him a few minutes of satisfaction, but ever since he had a taste of something solid, something that would last, that was all he wanted.
And their looks...he knew that deep down, those girls weren't nearly as pretty as Kaylee. Yes, their makeup hid their flaws and made them gorgeous, but Kaylee had such raw beauty, and there was no amount of makeup that could compete with that.
Maybe this whole thing was what they both needed. He knew that she needed something to open her eyes to realize that she could trust him, and maybe he needed something to show him that having only her in the rest of his life wouldn't be too bad after all. He knew that if anything had ever held him back from being completely with Kaylee, it was the fear of having only one girl for the rest of his life. But he knew for sure, after everything that had happened between them, that he wanted only her for the rest of his life, without a doubt.
It was almost as if a thousand lights came on as he realized this. He finally knew how he would end his plan, the ultimate sacrifice of a reformed playboy to get her back. He should have done it before, but he knew that the time wouldn't have been right, and there would have still been doubts. But there were no more doubts in him, and he knew that very soon, there'd be no more doubts for Kaylee.
Miles of Pleasure Page 20
