Nicole Austin

by Tamara's Spirit (lit)

  Dakota.

  A wide smile spread across her face and deep into the ravaged recesses of her soul. What a wonderful way to wake up, held cradled in her lover’s embrace.

  “Hi, handsome!”

  “Hi yourself, gorgeous. How do you feel?” Dakota asked, a bright smile lighting up his dark eyes.

  Even though it was warm outside, the steamy water brought wonderful relief to her sore muscles. Tamara purred with contentment. Actually purred. That had never happened before, yet it felt good. Right.

  “Mmm…beyond fabulous.”

  Looking around, she took in their surroundings. It was a beautiful spot she would never have ventured to on her own. The enormity of what she was able to enjoy because of Dakota’s tender caring washed over her. A whole new world lay at her fingertips. “This is incredible.”

  Dakota shifted her closer. He was in a relaxed, semi-sitting position with her draped across his lap and chest.

  “It’s a natural hot spring, and about the closest thing to a hot tub you’re gonna find out here.”

  “I love it!” She snuggled against his broad chest, reveling in the sensations created by the gentle, warm waters caressing her tired body. However, after several minutes a slight frown creased her brow as she remembered everything that had happened.

  THWAP!

  She smacked his chest with her open hand. Dakota sat in stunned silence for only a moment before expressing his indignation at being hit for no apparent reason.

  “Hey! What the hell did you do that for?”

  What did he do? Ugh! The bastard had left her alone in the middle of the wilderness, which he knew scared the shit out of her, and caused her to suffer through those painful days of emotional upheaval. Past lessons learned flooded back with agonizing pain. There were good reasons she didn’t form attachments, allow herself to feel. To love.

  No matter how tender and loving Dakota was now, the pain would soon follow. He would try to take things from her she wasn’t willing to give. Hell, he already had. He’d taken her very life and ripped it to shreds, opening her up to misery and heartache.

  There was no way she would sit back and let this happen, allowing him to mold her into someone different, then pull the rug out from under her world once she became comfortable. She wouldn’t know how to be this new person on her own.

  Misery splintered through her, tearing apart scabs covering wounds which had never healed, taking her by surprise and splitting her wide open. The urge to turn from him, run in the opposite direction filled Tamara. Every muscle tensed with the readiness to spring into action. Shield herself and escape. These actions were as familiar as breathing and walking. This was how she survived.

  Yet as she watched him from the corner of her eye, thoughts of what she’d be giving up came crashing down like a heavy weight against her chest, making it difficult to draw a breath. Dakota’s quiet peace and assurance made her feel safe. His glorious, loving touch and heated, passion-filled kisses offered a beautiful haven. Burning love shone from his dark eyes. Thoughts of the way he’d touched her body with deep devotion and caring, the way he’d cherished her, made her feel like something precious and worthy of love.

  What was she supposed to do, give up the person she’d become? Discard the difficult education she’d endured? An education which had taught her how to survive and by keeping her heart protected? Risk the possibility of reliving bitter lessons she’d struggled to avoid repeating for so long? Could she give up all she was for the love and the connection she felt to this amazing man?

  “I remembered I’m mad at you.”

  Dakota sat up a little straighter, no longer quite so relaxed. “Why, because I left you alone out here?” It was the only reason he was able to think of.

  What about everything she’d learned since coming out here? Everything she’d felt and gone through. The demons of the past she’d fought and defeated, the tangible bond they’d created. Could she break the link with barely any care or concern, walk away from the first man to ever show her true understanding, compassion and affection? What of the casual way he’d walked away from her?

  Tamara took a moment before answering then gazed at him with a hurt expression. “Well, there is that, too. I left you sleeping in my bed the other night while I went to dinner. When I came back, you were gone. No note, nothing. It royally pissed me off.”

  He hugged her closer as his dark expression became clouded, a storm brewed in his eyes. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, princess. I had no idea you’d be upset. The only thing on my mind when I woke up was getting into a hot shower, and rubbing some liniment on my aching hip.”

  THWAP!

  She smacked his chest again.

  “Hey! Now what the heck was that for?”

  She thought about the horrible days and nights spent alone with her emotions, crying and screaming out for him, and how he’d stayed away. There were ways he may have eased her through the tortuous feelings assaulting her, yet leaving her alone had turned out to be the perfect catalyst to bring about true change and healing.

  A slight smile curved her luscious lips when she answered. “For leaving me in the middle of nowhere.”

  “Ah. I’m sure you can see the wisdom in that, though.”

  She mumbled something noncommittal, but he wasn’t going to let her skate around the issue. “Princess? Talk to me.”

  Tamara let out a deep sigh of frustration. “I understand why, and certainly can’t argue with the results. It was just…frightening to wake up in the middle of the wilderness alone.” A slight shudder coursed through her petite frame. “Dealing with so much bombarding me…”

  Dakota’s expression was contrite, but also firm in the belief he’d done the right thing. “Again, I’m sorry I hurt you, Tamara. You’re not angry any longer, are you?”

  Even if she were mad at him, the turbulent emotion wouldn’t last for long. Dakota possessed such a giving and loving spirit, she knew his actions could never be malicious. Gradually, she released the tension, allowing her body to relax again in the shelter of his embrace and the warmth of the water.

  Still, lingering doubts and unease flirted with her mind. If she permitted herself to love Dakota most of her freedom would disappear as the emotion chained her to him.

  Allowing her hands to do the talking for her, Tamara trailed her manicured nails down his neck to caress his broad shoulders. She imagined those strong, capable shoulders bearing any burden, no matter how large.

  The past few days, weeks even, seemed so surreal. The idea someone as patient and kind as Dakota existed was difficult to grasp. The fact he saw something in her worth loving…amazing.

  Thinking back to her dream, she wondered what he thought of her body. Did he think her ribs stuck out too much and that she was too thin? Did he think she was a bad person because of her promiscuous lifestyle?

  She was well aware people judged each other all the time, but in reality they were projecting their own perspective on another and not truly seeing the individual for who they were. How did Dakota see her?

  Tears surged forward as too new many emotions assaulted her.

  Escape. Run.

  The urge to flee was overwhelming. She needed to get away from him, and began fighting against the arms holding her, which only resulted in Dakota tightening his grasp. He stared into her wide, frightened eyes.

  “Talk to me, princess. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

  No. No more talk. She couldn’t take it. A familiar rush of panic surged through her, increasing her struggles. Her heartbeat accelerated, chest tightening as the world closed in on her. All the while he spoke in soothing tones, which only increased her agitation.

  “I won’t let you run from this, from me, princess. It’s not going to happen, so just relax.”

  Relax. How laughable. She wouldn’t relax again until she got away from him and back to civilization. The insane man began nuzzling her neck, placing delicate kisses against her skin. His whisp
ered words of love and reassurance made things worse.

  “It’s okay. I’m here and I’m not letting you go. I’ve got you.”

  And therein lay the problem. He had her held tight against his body when she needed to be anywhere else. No matter how hard she struggled to free herself, there was no escaping his greater strength. The bastard could keep her captive, force his intentions on her, and there was not a damn thing she’d be able to do about it. Echoes of the past repeating itself spread through Tamara. Memories of other men forcing things she didn’t want scared the hell out of her.

  “Let me go.” Her voice was raspy, broken and sounded pathetic. Damn it. She would not be weak.

  “I won’t let you hide from my love.” The statement was full of self-assurance.

  He captured her thrashing arms, holding both wrists in one big hand, subduing her then lifting them both out of the spring, laying her down on the stone edge with her legs dangling into the water.

  The anxiety had her in a tight grip now. Everything closed in on her and her only thought centered on fighting for her life. When she looked at him, she no longer saw the caring man who had come to mean so much to her. Instead she saw every slimy bastard who had ever forced something on her she didn’t want.

  Her arms were held stretched above her head, pinned to the hard surface while he used his body weight to hold her down. The only movement available to her was with her legs. Tamara kicked hard, accomplishing nothing but splashing water until she found an opening to mount her own attack.

  Dakota made a move to encase her legs between his. If she let it happen she’d be well and truly caught, unable to defend herself. Pulling back one leg, she prepared to slam her knee into the vulnerable flesh between his legs, hoping to knock his balls all the way up into the beast’s throat.

  Somehow he anticipated the move. Reacting in time to keep her from scoring a fatal blow, he pinned her legs between his muscular thighs.

  His mouth came down over hers with bruising force, seeking an entrance she was not willing to give. She clamped her teeth and lips together in a tight refusal. Tears streamed down her cheeks as he eased up and began tracing tender kisses over her lips.

  His free hand cupped her breast, tweaking her nipple between his fingers and her traitorous body responded. Now he was really fighting unfair. Rough force she was accustomed to and capable of handling, but tenderness…

  “I love you, Tamara. You can’t drive me away. I won’t let you run from me…from this…from us!”

  Totally immobilized, she still struggled as much as possible. There was no way she’d lay back and let him have his way. He may rape her double-crossing body, but he would not take her mind.

  How she’d gone from carefree, playful teasing one moment to fighting for her life the next, Tamara had no idea. The panic didn’t give her the opportunity to stop and consider what was happening.

  Dakota trailed soft kisses down her neck, lingering where her pulse pounded out of control, laving with his tongue. She felt her breasts swell, nipples elongating into hard beads, her body and mind fighting each other with violence equal to how she struggled against him. The more loving his words and tender his caress, the harder she battled.

  “You own my heart. Returning it isn’t a possibility. I’m all yours now, princess.”

  No one had ever made her feel so much. They were absolute perfection when together, beyond anything a man or woman can be as individuals. When joined they were everything—the very air, fertile ground, rocks and trees, water. They were life. The idea terrified and excited her at once.

  “No. I don’t want this.” Her cry was full of desperation and she shook her head in denial of what she knew deep down inside.

  His dark eyes captured her gaze. “Yes you do.”

  He merely continued, undeterred. When his mouth claimed her nipple, he gently sucked the turgid peak, creating a wet gush of arousal between her legs. Fuck! What the hell was wrong with her? How was she getting turned on by this unwanted attention?

  “I don’t want you,” she sobbed.

  The hand that had cupped her breast trailed down her abdomen. His fingers stroked over her mound before sliding lower to play over damp folds. Her blood heated, spiking her bodies wanton desires.

  “Don’t lie to me, princess. You want me as much as I want you. I see the truth in your eyes. You’re just afraid.”

  Damn him. Dakota was bound and determined to make her face what frightened her most, his love.

  “Yes…no…” She didn’t know what she wanted.

  He licked and sucked at her, drawing almost her entire breast into the heat of his mouth as she broke down. Tamara was being pulled in different directions. She wanted him to stop. At the same time, she wanted him to continue more than she wanted her next breath. Her back arched, driving her closer to his mouth.

  Her mind strove to retreat from the love she felt in every caress of lips and tongue. Pressing her nipple against the roof of his mouth, Dakota sucked with unbridled eagerness, stealing her fight and determination.

  Oh, how she needed this man. He was like warm sunshine in the middle of a gloomy, winter day. A drink of crisp, clean water spilling down a parched throat. He held the key to her heart and salvation for her battered soul.

  She didn’t even realize her hands were free and she was no longer struggling against him, but instead struggling for more. Demanding everything. Her fingers probed everywhere she could reach.

  Tamara was lost, mind and body at cross-purposes. With one heartbeat she tugged him closer and the next she pushed him away, fought for the freedom she no longer had. There would be no escaping this thing happening between them, sealing their fate.

  Shoving his thick thighs between her legs, he spread her open. With one hand beneath each knee, he pressed her legs even further apart. She felt the silky head of his cock brush against her vulnerable opening, met by a gush of fluids raining down over their flesh. As much as she wanted him to drive into her pussy, stretching her to fit his thick cock, she wanted to bar him entrance, keep him at a distance.

  No matter how she pushed and pulled or bucked and beat her fists against him, Dakota remained tender and gentle, showering her with his love. She was much better equipped to handle force, rage and lust. This caring, kindhearted assault on her senses was something she didn’t know how to deal with.

  The soft and insistent heaviness of his cock against her cunt was driving her insane. Her mind told her pull away, while her body tried to increase the pressure and draw him inside. No matter what move she made, he countered it, keeping himself poised at her entrance.

  “Dakota,” she growled. “Just do it. Fuck me!”

  He went absolutely quiet and still for a moment, those dark eyes holding her gaze. She saw the love and concern in the dark orbs, but refused to let her heart and emotions rule her actions.

  “You want my cock, princess?” he growled.

  “Yes,” she pleaded, but what she felt went way beyond simple want, bordering on necessity.

  She detected a multitude of emotions crossing his handsome face, understanding and love being the primary things she saw.

  “I’ll give you my cock, but will not fuck you. We’ll make love. Always with love, Tamara.”

  With that said, he held her captive between the unyielding surfaces of the rock and his hard length, allowing her no chance to retreat. No option other than to take the pleasure he gave. No choice other than to accept the slow impalement of each thick inch of cock he pressed into her grasping pussy—the tender loving he was determined they share.

  Endless inch after inch crowded into her, filling her to perfection until she had no idea where she ended and Dakota began. Still, he slowly drove his hard cock deeper, all the way to her heart and soul. When he was enveloped within her, body balls deep, he held still, staring into her eyes. Tamara writhed and bucked beneath him, trying to get him to move, but her efforts were futile.

  Not until he wiped at the tears running in a
steady stream down her cheeks did Tamara realize she was still crying. Some of his quiet words filtered through the sobs wracking her body.

  “I love you, my princess, my heart. You can’t drive me away. I will always be here.” He then placed a soft kiss against her breast where her heart pounded in an erratic rhythm beneath her ribs.

  She found it hard to believe he was still there with her, holding her in a loving embrace. Her entire body trembled as she tried to keep the overwhelming words of love surging within her soul from escaping through her lips.

  The fight raging through Tamara broke as she whispered the three words refusing to be kept quiet any longer. The words came pouring from her heart.