Shades of Midnight_an Urban Fantasy novel

by Debbie Cassidy

  I pulled away from Orin, eliciting an uncharacteristic growl that made my core throb and almost melted my resolve.

  I licked my lips. “When this is over …”

  He ran his thumb across my bottom lip, and it took everything I had not to take it in my mouth.

  “When this is over,” he echoed.

  We resumed our journey, what could be between us on hold, for now.

  ***

  Doris greeted us with suspicious eyes. “What do you want now?” She looked Orin up and down. “No Bane today?”

  I didn’t have it in me to go into detail, and just the mention of his name hurt my heart. “Doris, we need your help. You may have sensed changes outside of Respite. It’s to do with those changes.”

  She snorted in disgust. “If you mean the lost souls floating around, then yes.” She pulled a packet of cigarettes from her pocket and sparked up. “They hover from time to time, drawn to this place. But they never stay long.”

  “Can they get in?” Orin asked.

  “No. This is our place—a place for the murdered residents of Midnight. Those souls have no clue what it is to truly die. They hold on to life, eager for it, leeching from the living instead of finding their own special peace.”

  “So, there’s some kind of barrier preventing them from getting onto the grounds.”

  Doris cocked her head. “Why all the questions? What is it you want?”

  “We have a problem, and I need you to help fix it.”

  She took a puff of her nicotine stick. “I’m listening.”

  I told her about the shades, the ghouls, and the humans. “Is this hallowed ground? Would the shades be able to get into the cemetery?”

  Her eyes were now slits. “You want to bring the living onto our land? Living humans wandering around Respite? Pitching tents and making campfires? Is this some kind of joke?”

  “So it is hallowed,” Orin said.

  She shot him an irritated look. “Yes. This is protected ground. Humans and neph can enter, but anything that is an abomination, like the scourge or The Breed, cannot, and these shades … We’ve seen them hovering at the gates. We wondered what they were, and now we know. They are abominations, and they won’t be able to enter here.”

  My heart was thudding real fast. This was it. This was our solution, temporary, but it was something. We just needed her okay. “Doris, please …”

  She looked off into the distance.

  We needed to give her something. Anything. “If you do this for us, we’ll owe you. Big time.” It was weak, but it was all I had—a big, fat IOU.

  She blinked, her gaze becoming super-focused. “You will owe me. Personally. And I will collect.” She took a final drag on her cigarette and flicked it into oblivion. “Bring your humans. We will keep them safe as long as you need us to.”

  I sagged in relief. “Thank you.”

  Her ruby red lips curved in a sly smile. “Oh, don’t thank me just yet, Harker. You have no idea what I’ll want in return.”

  A shiver slipped up my spine, but I suppressed it. “I pay my debts, Doris. Always.”

  She vanished back into the mausoleum, and Orin and I walked out the arch toward the van.

  “Let’s get back to the mansion,” Orin said. “At least we have one bit of good news now.”

  I reached for my phone, intent on calling Ava, but a movement at the periphery of my vision had me pausing, and then a figure stepped out of the shadows.

  Orin pulled me back, placing my body between him and the newcomer, between me and Drayton. Damn, I really needed to stop thinking of him as that. Xavier, his name was Xavier.

  Orin’s body was a tense mass ready to attack, but Xavier didn’t make a move. Instead, he held up his hands, and took a step back. He looked … confused.

  I gripped Orin’s bicep and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “What are you doing here, Xavier?”

  He shook his head. “I … I’m not sure.” He blinked rapidly and then backed up another step. “So, this is the dead zone where no shade may pass?” He smiled, and it was pretty obvious he was going for cocky, but the whole thing was slightly off. He was covering.

  Orin must have sensed it too because his muscles relaxed beneath my fingers, and he didn’t stop me when I stepped around him.

  “Why are you really here, Xavier?”

  “Recon,” he said. He was settling into the lie. “What are you doing here?”

  I crossed my arms. “Oh, wait, are you really expecting me to tell you anything? You storm the district, you take over humans, and you try to kill Black Wings.”

  “Yes, I think you covered it all, aside from the fact that I also have your lover’s body.”

  “Drayton and I were never lovers.”

  He smirked. “But you wanted to be. At least he did.”

  Orin took a menacing step toward Xavier. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t pummel the fuck out of you.”

  Xavier swept a hand up and down his body. “You want to hurt your friend’s casing, then go ahead.”

  He thought our hands were tied, but thanks to Rivers’s interrogation, we had some fresh knowledge. “No. There’s no point pummeling you. It’s a waste of time, so is trying to expel you.” I cocked my head. “But I can burn you to hell.”

  “And kill Drayton?” He arched a brow.

  “He’s dead anyway, because you’re stuck in that body.”

  Xavier’s smile faltered.

  “Yeah, we know about that. Once a shade is in a host, it’s stuck unless expelled or killed by me. There is no way to get you out without hurting him, and I know Drayton would rather die than be a prisoner in his own body.”

  Xavier’s smug smile fell. “Wait a minute.”

  I strode toward him, power surging up through my veins, eyes pricking. It was time to set Drayton free. Time to let him have peace.

  Xavier staggered back, his hand coming up to clutch his head. “Wait. Don’t. Trying …”

  Orin grabbed my elbow. “Fuck. Serenity, did you hear that?”

  But I was already frozen to the spot, because although Xavier spoke with Drayton’s voice, the inflection was different … until now. Until this moment. Those words hadn’t been Xavier’s, they’d been Drayton’s.

  “Drayton?”

  Xavier straightened. “What? What did you say?”

  Once again, there was that look of confusion. He didn’t know he’d spoken … just like he didn’t know why he was here. A shocking revelation bloomed in my chest. Drayton was fighting back. Not sure how, but he was, and he’d just warned me to back off.

  Orin caught my eye and shook his head slightly. Yeah, not the time to engage or let on that anything was amiss, but Xavier was still waiting for a response.

  “I asked what you’d done with Abbadon. Why do you even need him?” It was the first thing that popped into my head, and a damned good question too.

  “You really expect me to answer that?” Xavier asked.

  “No. But can you at least tell us if he’s alive?”

  “Yes. He’s alive.”

  I didn’t know Xavier, but I knew Drayton’s facial expressions, and this one was depicting shame. What the fuck did Xavier have to be ashamed about?

  He stiffened. “I have to go.” Then he turned and ran.

  Orin and I stood staring at the spot where he’d just been. Orin was the first to break the silence. “Drayton’s alive.”

  And he’d steered Xavier here, to the cemetery, but why? Dammit. If he was fighting, then there had to be a way to get rid of Xavier. We just needed to find it.

  “We need to catch Xavier,” Orin said. “If we can catch him and hold him, maybe we can figure this out.”

  “But if Drayton is fighting back on the sly then won’t that tip Xavier off?”

  Orin paced, agitated. “We have to do something. He’s trapped.”

  I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Stop. There’s nothing we can do right now. We have to focus on the task at hand. Drayton�
�s smart, and if that was really him we heard, then he’ll find a way to contact us again, and by that time we may have some answers as to how to help set him free.”

  My phone rang shrilly in my pocket. The caller ID flashed Rivers. I answered it as we climbed into the van. “Hey?”

  “Harker, he’s awake.”

  Chapter 10

  Orin drove us smoothly back toward the mansion. My hands trembled as I clutched the mobile to my ear, still reeling from the phone call with Rivers—short and sweet—while trying desperately to focus on what Ava was saying to me now.

  “He’s awake.”

  The words still echoed in my ear. I was on autopilot, speaking to Ava but only listening with half an ear. The rest of me was back at the mansion, walking up to Bane’s bedroom door, heart in my mouth as I pushed it open. That other part of me squeezed Orin’s fingers a little too tightly. He wrapped my hand in his, steering with the other. Drayton was alive and fighting and Bane had given himself up to allow Lucifer to rise. It seemed like fate was playing with me. Taking away with one hand and giving back with the other.

  It was going to be okay. I could do this. Ava was silent on the other end of the line. What had I just said to her? Had she responded?

  “Harker. Just tell me what you need me to do and then leave it to me,” Ava said.

  This was usually Bane’s domain. He was the delegator, not me. But he’d slipped the reins into my unwilling hands, and failure was not an option. Focus was essential right now. Deal with the call, and then stress about going back to the mansion. Ava and her unit were patrolling with the Protectorate. They’d been at it since five this morning and it was now mid-afternoon. Her shift was about to end, and I was dumping more work on her. Cassie was on her way to link up with the unit. I felt like a dick handing her more chores, but this wasn’t something that could wait. We had the go-ahead, and we needed to move. Besides, she’d have Cassie to split the workload with—my way of assuaging the guilt.

  I cleared my throat. “Liaise with Langley and work out a way to move the fatigued humans to the cemetery. Once we have them there, we can work on trying to shift humans by sector. I know Langley can be a dick, but I also know you can handle him. He’s not stupid. He’ll know this is the best option. He’ll bitch, but he will help.”

  “Damn right I can deal with him, and damn straight he’ll help. We’re going to need tents and camping gear and tinned non-perishable goods.” She was speaking more to herself now, making a mental list.

  “Get the MED to source the goods. Cassie will be with you soon. Maybe she can work on the supplies?”

  “Yeah, we’ll fix it. You just do you.”

  She was referring to Bane. “I’m fine. I just want to get this sorted so I can sleep for a week.”

  She chuckled. “Well at least I know why I’ve been feeling so crappy. Fuck you, ghosts!” she said. “Hear me? Go suck on someone else’s energy.”

  “Marika is working on summoning the Piper, so hopefully we’ll have gotten rid of the ghoul problem permanently soon.”

  We said our goodbyes and hung up just as the mansion came into view.

  Orin slid a concerned glance my way. “Are you ready for this?”

  Fuck no. “Bring it.”

  ***

  Rivers greeted me outside Bane’s chambers. It was impossible to tell what he was feeling from his expression. But his skin was paler than usual and his eyes brighter.

  “Have you spoken to him?” Orin asked.

  Rivers nodded then fixed his penetrating gaze on me. “He asked specifically for you.”

  “Me?” My pulse stalled. “Like by name?”

  “Yeah. He said, Get me Harker.”

  Bane called me Harker. He knew me? He remembered. I made to push past Rivers, but he gripped my elbow.

  “He isn’t Bane any longer,” Rivers said. “He may remember your name, but don’t get your hopes up.”

  He was warning me not to hope that Bane still loved me, or that he remembered us together. But how could I not? He’d asked for me by name. The flutter in my stomach wouldn’t die. Not yet. Not until I looked into his eyes and saw the absence of the neph I’d loved, for sure.

  “I’ll be fine.” I patted Rivers’s bicep. “Thank you.”

  “We’ll be here if you need us,” Orin said, his voice an empathic rumble.

  But I was already inside, pushing open the door and stepping into the gloomy interior. A figure stood by the window, its back to me, bathed in the moonlight that streamed in through the glass. It was the first time I’d seen the drapes in this room open. They’d covered a set of doors leading onto a balcony. Of course, Bane would have wanted a launch pad, a mini roost of his own. Had he intended to show me it at some point? Would we have used it to go on a moonlit flight one night?

  But the figure standing with his back to me wasn’t Bane. His body was athletic not bulky, and his wings were ebony feathers whose tips swept the ground behind him. He turned his head to the side, highlighting his profile in silver. His nostrils flared in a Bane gesture that twisted my heart and pinched my throat. At least when confronted with Drayton, I knew there was a separate entity in the driver’s seat, but what could I do about this?

  “Harker.”

  It wasn’t a question, but I answered regardless. “Yes.”

  “I dreamed of you.”

  The pinch in my throat turned into a lump. “What did you dream?” My voice was hushed, barely a whisper. But he heard me, because he turned fully to face me, silhouetted by the moon, a shadow that had once been the man I loved.

  He took a step toward me, and then another, slipping out of the silver rays so the lamplight cast its glow on his heartbreakingly beautiful face. But it was his eyes that captivated me—violet and hungry and perfectly, absolutely Bane.

  “I dreamed I was inside you,” he said.

  My breath exploded from my lips as I reached up with a trembling hand to touch his jaw. “Bane?”

  He closed his eyes and a shudder ripped through him. “So many memories slipping into the vault of my mind: pain, loss, and joy, sharp and sweet.” He opened his eyes. “And you. So much of you.” He gripped my hand and slid it down to his chest, pressing it to his breast bone. “Here. I feel you here.”

  A sob expanded at the base of my throat. What was he saying?

  His fingers tightened around mine. “You were important to him.” His dark brows were a question mark as he scanned me with hungry curiosity. “He loved you.”

  He loved you. Loved. I pulled my hand from his grip and squeezed my eyes closed, pulling it all back, all the emotion and all the hope. Bane was no longer here. When I met Lucifer’s gaze next, it was with a composed one of my own.

  “Yes. We were lovers. We loved each other.”

  He pressed his lips together for a moment. “It must have been hard for you to let him go.”

  He had no idea. “Bane believed it was the right thing to do. He believed it was what Midnight needed. Midnight needed you.” The bitter undertone to my words would not be masked.

  He picked up on it with an arched brow. “I don’t blame you for resenting my presence. I’m truly sorry for your pain. But please remember that without me, there would have been no Bane.”

  Was he taking credit for Bane now? The simmering anger flared upwards like a stoked fire. “Bane didn’t deserve to be snuffed out like that. He deserved to live.”

  He blinked down at me. “Serenity, I don’t think you understand. Bane isn’t dead. He will never die, because he is a part of me—his memories, his emotions.” He reached up to run his fingers down my cheek. “They are now mine. He is me, just as I was him for a time.”

  My head reeled from his words, because the more he made sense, the more confused my emotions became.

  “What are you saying?”

  He blinked as if coming out of a dream. “I … I don’t know.” He winced and massaged his temples.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Harker, we nee
d to convince Dawn to cooperate. Sunset is under attack.”

  It was Bane’s gruff voice, his exact fucking tone. “Bane?”

  Lucifer looked up at me, his expression laced with pity.

  Bane … I’d heard his voice. He’d spoken directly to me. Or was I going insane? “You said something about Sunset being under attack?”

  His gaze flicked to the left in recollection. “Yes. Lilith took a call from the enforcers in Sunset. The shades have made their move into that district.”

  “She filled you in, then?”

  He shook his head. “No. I remember.”

  He remembered, because he had Bane’s memories. But where had the voice come from? Was hope making me hear what wasn’t there? First Drayton, now Bane. Thank goodness Orin had been with me for the Drayton encounter; at least I knew that was for real.

  A knock on the door interrupted us.

  “Enter,” Lucifer said.

  The door opened and Rivers stepped in. He didn’t even look at Lucifer. His attention was all for me. “Are you done?”

  “If she were done, then she’d have come out,” Lucifer said. His tone dropped to arctic.

  Rivers shot him a flat look. “I wasn’t speaking to you.”

  Lucifer took a menacing step toward him. “Then maybe it’s time that you did.”

  Rivers, the man who never flinched, never showed emotion, fisted his hands at his sides. “And maybe it’s time you let Serenity speak for herself.”

  Lucifer sighed, tucked in his chin, and exhaled, his wings drooping as he let go of his irritation. “I apologize. This must be hard for all of you. I’ve taken something from you, and it will take time for you to acclimatize. Harker, I believe your friend asked you a question.”

  “I’m fine, Rivers. I’ll find you guys when I’m done.”

  Rivers backed out of the room and closed the door with a soft snick. I was done with this, done with being in a room with someone who’d, up until recently, made my heart sing, but now made it ache with loss. I needed to be with Ryker. I needed to crawl under the duvet with him and lose myself in his arms. I needed an epic hug from Orin and Rivers’s steady, single-minded purposefulness. I needed my guys.