Transcendent

by Lisa Beeson

  “Have you been having nightmares?”

  Not looking up, I nodded again.

  “Do you remember what the nightmares are about?”

  I shook my head no.

  “Do you come down here when you can’t fall back to sleep?”

  I nodded.

  “What’s your favorite book so far?”

  I looked up and he motioned to the book shelves, urging me to show him which book I liked best. So I walked over to one of the shelved walls, and got on my tip toes to point at the book of Greek Mythology. The stories were interesting, and it had pretty illustrations.

  Phil got up from the couch and walked over to pull out the book and take a look at it. “This is one of my favorites too. It’s always nice to remember that the gods were just as flawed and petty as the rest of us.” He gave me a wink and a smile. “I haven’t read this in ages…” he mused as he turned back towards the couch, flipping through the pages. “Do you mind if I read this out loud?”

  I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. It was his office; he could do what he wanted.

  He grabbed his reading glasses from his desk, and then sat back down on the couch. He flipped a couple more pages and said, “Ah here we go…” And then he proceeded to read the story of Theseus and the Minotaur.

  That was one of my favorite stories. I put the encyclopedia back where it belonged, and then cautiously made my way over to the couch as he continued to read. I liked the sound of his voice and the way he read, so I climbed on the other end of the couch and sat on my knees so I could look at the pictures. Soon I was so engrossed in the story that I climbed onto his lap so I could read along and see the pictures better. I leaned back against him, and between the vibrations coming from his chest and his soft calming voice, I fell asleep. I guess soon after, he did as well, because Tess had come down in the wee hours of the morning to find us both asleep in his office. Phil was snoring away, and I was cuddled up in his arms. She had said later on that she had nearly died of the cuteness. She gently woke him up, and they both marveled at the miracle he had wrought by getting me to cuddle with him. The most Tess had been able to get out of me at this point was that one-sided hug by the piano. Phil carried me back upstairs to my room, and then they tucked me back into bed. I was barely conscious enough to feel them both kiss me on the head. And I didn’t mind too much.

  The next morning was as distant as usual for me. Phil went to work before we came down to breakfast. Sadie and Hector watched T.V. and joked around, while Tess worked out in the garden and I sat on the swing while Roosevelt watched.

  That afternoon Tess took us to the library. As we walked in, Tess said hello to the lady behind the front counter. She waved us over, so I followed Tess and the kids as they walked to the counter. She was a kind looking lady, with short black hair and dark brown skin. She looked a bit younger than Tess and seemed friendly, but I could almost feel the intensity of the look she gave me; like she was looking into my soul. No one else seemed to notice.

  “Well, hello Rileys,” she said quietly with a smile.

  “Hi, Ms. Ruby,” said Sadie and Hector together.

  “And who is this adorable little girl?” she asked, smiling down at me. I didn’t want to meet her eyes – they were too intense.

  “This is our little sister, Kira,” Sadie volunteered.

  “She doesn’t talk,” Hector added.

  “Well I’m sure she will in her own time, huh, Kira?”

  I just looked down at my shoes.

  “Well alright, y’all find some good books, okay?”

  “Yes Ma’am, we will,” Sadie replied. Then, they turned towards the children’s section.

  As we walked, I looked back over my shoulder at Ms. Ruby. She was still looking at me, and gave me an enigmatic smile and a nod. Thoroughly creeped out, I turned back around and caught up to Tess.

  When we got to the children’s section, Sadie and Hector went their separate ways looking for books. I sat down in a reading chair, watching everyone else. Tess asked if I wanted her to look for some books for me, and I nodded and shrugged to say ‘sure why not’. She told me to stay where I was, so I did, and she went to go pick out some books for me.

  I must have spaced out for a bit, because all of a sudden Ms. Ruby was right in front of me. She gently held one of my hands in hers, and then she placed her other hand on my cheek, making sure her finger tips were touching my temple. She looked intently into my eyes, and then it was if the world around us disappeared; it was only us. I was about to freak out, but she radiated calmness and reassurance. Her voice was kind, but insistent. “Kira, you are a very special little girl, and you will accomplish great things, but you have to let go of what’s holding you back. You have a wonderful family that will give you everything you need, but you must let them in.” She paused to make sure I understood. And then her voice seemed to get a bit deeper, “Cut ties with the things that bind you, Little One, and embrace the light and love that is offered.” And with that she let go of my head and hand, and the world returned around us.

  Ruby leaned back on her heels and gave me that enigmatic smile and nod again. Her intentions were only for my well-being, so I nodded back at her. Just then Tess came walking up with a pile of books in her arms. Ruby stood up and they started talking, so I tuned out and started thinking: Did that really just happen? Did this woman really just speak directly to my mind? The things she said…was I really capable of great things. Could I let go of the phantom memories that still called to me?

  “You have a special little girl here, Tess.”

  “Well, we certainly think so.” Tess looked down at me with an affectionate smile.

  Sadie and Hector came over with piles of books of their own. So we all went to the front counter to check out. We all waved goodbye to Ms. Ruby as we went out the doors to our van parked outside. After we got home and dropped off our books inside, Tess started making dinner, and Sadie, Hector, and I went back out to go play in the driveway. Well, they played – I watched from the grass. Our driveway was the kind that attracted neighborhood kids. Between the basketball hoop hanging over the garage door, the skateboard rail Hector had built with Phil, and the fact that Sadie and Hector were nice kids who were fun to be around, kids just naturally gravitated there.

  I sat on the grass and watched the chaos around me. Sadie and her friends were trying double-dutch, and failing miserably, but they were having fun all the same. Hector and his friend were doing skateboard stunts and riding down Jack’s wheel chair ramp. And there were a couple kids playing basketball. One of the kids shot the ball, but it bounced off the rim and then rolled by me. So I got up and grabbed the ball, and then brought it back over to them on the driveway. But I guess I stood there too long, because someone pushed me from behind and said, “Watch out, weirdo. You’re in the way.”

  Caught totally by surprise, I went down hard. Pain burned my hands and left knee. I sat up to take a look. My hands were just scraped, but my knee started to bleed pretty badly. The stinging pain made my eyes start to water.

  Sadie came running over. “Kira, you’re bleeding. Are you okay?”

  When I nodded my head, tears spilled down my cheeks and my bottom lip began to quiver.

  Sadie ran inside to go get Tess. When Hector saw her run inside, he immediately stopped what he was doing. “What happened?” he called out.

  The kids playing basketball all pointed to the aggressor. One of them yelled, “Dustin pushed her for no reason!”

  Hector looked at Dustin like a bull ready to charge. “You hurt my sister, jerkwad! I’m gonna kill you!”

  Dustin turned and ran like the coward he was, and Hector chased after him. He had run all the way to the end of the driveway, before Tess and Sadie came out, and Tess shouted, “Hector! Stop!”

  He turned and shouted back, “But he hurt Kira!” He was trying to control the rage he felt towards the boy who dared to hurt one of his sisters.

  “Take a deep breath, and think. What
is most important right now?” She spread her arms out wide. “Big picture.”

  He took a couple deep breaths, and then looked over at me. “Kira… Helping Kira is most important right now.”

  Tess smiled. “That’s right.” She told the other kids it was time to go home. Then she came over to me, wiped away my tears, and then gently picked me up and brought me inside.

  As we came in Tess told Sadie to get the first aid kit. She carried me into the kitchen and sat me on the counter by the sink. “You are such a brave girl, Kira. Now we’re going to rinse off your hands and clean up your knee, okay?” She turned on the faucet and placed my hands under the stream of water.

  I hissed an intake of breath when the running water stung my hands. Tess looked at me with sympathy. “It’s going to hurt when you cleanse a wound, but you have to get all the dirt and toxins out so it can heal.”

  I nodded as she gently patted my hands with a paper towel.

  “The trick is to blow out the pain, like you’re blowing out a candle.” She pursed her lips and blew out a stream of air to show me how. I mimicked her, and she smiled and told me that it was just right.

  Sadie came into the kitchen with the first aid kit and placed it on the counter by me, and then she sat at the table with Hector to watch and give moral support.

  Tess got an alcohol wipe from the kit, and then gently dabbed my knee with it. I took a deep breath and blew out the pain like she said. At that moment the fog in my mind cleared, and I was able to see Tess for who she really was: a woman who took me into her home and loved me unconditionally. She took care of me and gave me all her love without asking for anything in return. I looked over at Sadie, a girl who claimed me as her sister from the first moment. A girl who took joy from my happiness, and was willing to share everything she had with me. Then I looked at Hector, my champion and protector, a boy willing to fight any foe for me.

  As Tess was placing a large bandage on my knee, I remembered Ruby’s words: Cut ties with the things that bind you. And embrace the light and love that is offered.

  I blew out another cleansing breath, and I finally let go of the phantom memories. I let in the light and love that my family offered. And then I felt joy and love fill the empty places in my soul.

  Tess finished placing the bandage, and looked up to see tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. And being five years old, I took Ruby’s words the most literal way possible. I wrapped my arms around Tess’s neck and my legs around her waist, fully embracing her and claiming her as my mother.

  She was totally taken by surprise, and it took her a second to realize what was going on. But once she did, she wrapped me up in her arms and kissed me on my head, joyful tears falling down her face. Sadie and Hector looked at us, and then at each other in amazement. I held out one of my arms to them, and it didn’t take more than a couple seconds for them to scramble over to us and join in the hug.

  Love and contentment permeated the room. I tucked my head into my Mom’s neck and breathed in her clean scent of herbs and soap.

  Just then Dad came home from work. He walked in through the side kitchen door, and took in the scene in front of him. He was hit with the cloud of emotional energy emanating from us, and his eyes started to tear up. Without looking up, I held out my arm to him, and it only took him two steps to reach us and envelop us all in his embrace. Even Roosevelt came in and sat beside us, wagging his tail. At that moment I truly became Kira Riley.”

  Chapter 5

  “After dinner, we all played a board game together. I sat on Dad’s lap and moved his pieces around the board for him. I’d giggle at their silly jokes and make faces at Dad’s bad ones, which made everyone laugh.

  That night I didn’t have any nightmares.

  The next day was Saturday, so Dad didn’t have to go to work. He was the last one down to breakfast, and walked into the kitchen with a dramatic yawn. He waved and said “Good morning” to everyone. Sadie, Hector, and Mom all said “Good morning” in response. And without looking up from my breakfast, I said, “Good morning, Dad.” The wall blocking my words was gone; broken down by the acceptance of my new life.

  The kitchen went absolutely silent. Both Sadie and Hector looked at me in shock, and Mom covered her mouth with her hands. Dad only took a beat before he did a double take. I kept my head down to cover the smile that was spreading across my face.

  Dad opened his mouth, and then burst out, “Don’t you go acting like that wasn’t the most spectacular thing ever!” Then he scooped me up and tossed me in the air, in celebration. I giggled when he caught me and he said, “Say it again.”

  I gave him a big grin. “Good morning, Dad.”

  He spun me around and enveloped me in a big bear hug.

  Sadie stood up smiling ear to ear. “What’s my name?”

  “Sadie,” I said in a tone that said ‘of course’.

  She laughed and clapped her hands.

  Hector jumped up. “What’s my name?”

  “Hector!” I announced proudly.

  He did a spin jump and punched the air. Roosevelt barked, joining in the excitement.

  “Roosevelt!” I said, giggling.

  With me still in his arms, Dad walked over to Mom. “And who is this beautiful lady?”

  I gave her my biggest smile before saying, “That’s my Mom.”

  She let out a tearful laugh, and then grabbed my face and kissed it all over. She took me from Dad’s arms and gave me a big hug. I hugged her back whole-heartedly.

  At the end of July, it was time to sign me up for school. I was going to go to the same school as Sadie and Hector. St. Anthony’s was a private Catholic school that taught Kindergarten through twelfth grade. The Rileys weren’t catholic, but it was an excellent school, with great programs, and an accommodation to special health needs.

  I had to take a test to see if I met the requirements to enter kindergarten, and to see where I fell on the intellectual spectrum. I was able take it on a computer in the office, and it would be graded automatically. It seemed easy enough, and when I was done, I told the office lady and went back to sit with my parents. A couple minutes later, the lady looked over at me strangely, and then went to go get the principal. He came out of his office to look at my results on the computer. His eyes widened and he looked over at me incredulously, and then entered into a whispered conversation with the office lady. My parents looked at me questioningly, and all I could do was shrug my shoulders; I didn’t know what the deal was.

  The principal cleared his throat and then asked my parents to come talk with him in his office. They looked at each other uncertainly, and then followed him. I tried to follow too, but he said for me to wait on the bench outside his office. My parents assured me they would be right back as they walked in, and then the principal shut the door. There was a glass window in the wall to his office that was right over the bench I was sitting on, and even though the blinds were pulled down, it wasn’t sound proof, and I could hear everything they were saying.

  My Dad asked what was wrong, and whether or not I met the requirements to attend the school. The Principal laughed and said, “Mr. Riley, not only did your daughter pass the test with flying colors, she set those colors on fire! She’s currently reading at a ninth grade level. Her IQ is 158…that’s almost at the genius level!”

  My eyes widened at the word ‘genius’. I hadn’t even been trying that hard; I’d just sped through, wanting to get it over with.

  “So what are you saying we should do?” my Mom asked.

  “She might be better off with private tutors or homeschooling. She is a very intelligent child. I’d hate to hold her back.”

  “Hold on a second…” my Dad said, while opening the door to the office and told me to come in. “Did you hear all that, sweet pea?”

  I nodded, and then he asked me what I wanted to do. So I told them that I wanted to go to school with Hector and Sadie.

  All I wanted was to just be a normal kid. Normal kids blended in. Normal
kids didn’t get stared at.

  So after the adults talked it over, we concluded that I would enter the first grade, and supplement accordingly at home.

  The night before the first day of school, Hector explained to me how not to stand out. “Try to sit in the back if you can. And only raise your hand to answer questions every once in awhile; if possible, try not to answer at all unless the teacher asks you a direct question. Otherwise just sit back and let the showoffs do the work.”

  Then Sadie interjected, “Oh, and don’t answer all the questions correctly either, or they’ll keep trying to move you up a grade.”

  I took their advice to heart, and tried to do what they said to stay under the radar. The only time I tripped up was when we were drawing pictures of our families. I was trying to draw the colorful auras that always surrounded them, but the colors I needed weren’t in my box of crayons – it was even one of those 24 packs. I looked over at the other kid’s drawings to see how they were drawing them, but none of them had auras or anything like that in their pictures. I asked the girl next to me how she drew the energy around people when they didn’t have the right colors. She looked at me like I was the weirdest kid ever. Then she whispered to the girl next to her, and they both laughed and called me a freak. That’s when I realized that I saw things differently than everyone else. It finally made sense that TV and pictures didn’t match what I saw in real life, because other people didn’t see the world that way. So I learned not draw things the way I saw them, but how everyone else did.

  I soon became a pro at not standing out. Even though I learned things quickly and easily, including musical instruments and physical education, I made sure not to do better than the second best kid in the class. I didn’t talk unless it was necessary, and I usually kept to myself. My quiet confidence seemed to attract the misfits; I wasn’t mean so they took that as amiability. I could also see people for who they really were by reading their intentions, and more often than not, the popular kids weren’t worth my time and effort anyway. I was able to make two good friends though, and that’s all I really needed.