Bound Beneath His Pain: A Dirty Little Secrets Novel

by Stacey Kennedy

  I slide my fingers across the smooth leather armrest, trying to figure Allie out, knowing all I really need to know is how she cracked my defenses. I know she’s beautiful, pure, untainted, but I don’t know why she shakes my legendary discipline. I also know I’m not going to get those answers today. “Moving on,” I say, pushing those thoughts aside. “Any reports from Lace?”

  I had appointed Juliet CEO of Lace six months after we decided to stop dating and simply sleep together casually, with the agreement that she tells me only what I need to know. I pay her five times what the job is worth and doubled what she made as a therapist, plus sinful bonuses whenever the club has a good quarter.

  Deep down, I know Juliet took the job because I asked her to, because that’s what she does for me. She gives me what I need when I need it. And she takes joy in doing that for me, it’s the nature of her submissive personality. I take care of her financially because that’s what I can give her. She never expects more, and that’s what makes our relationship work.

  “All is well at Lace,” she reports. “The erotic circus is shaping up nicely. We’re putting on a couple shows that I imagine will draw in many curious new minds, which I expect will bring more memberships.”

  “Good.” There’s not much more to say on the matter. I gave Juliet complete control of the club and I’m pleased with whatever she decides. I rise and Juliet follows, as I ask, “What are your plans now?”

  “Well, now that I have a little freedom,” she says, straightening her skirt, “I plan to visit Lace’s private room tonight.”

  “Sounds promising.” I follow her as she approaches the doorway.

  Once there, she turns to face me and laughs softly. “I imagine it will be.” She places her hand gently on my arm. “Don’t forget to be yourself on this new adventure.”

  I lean in and kiss her cheek. “Goodbye, Juliet.” I avoid discussing whatever she thinks we should talk about. I’m only myself with Juliet, and she knows this.

  “Goodbye, Micah,” she says with a sweet smile.

  I watch her walk down the hallway toward the reception desk, noticing the sway in her hips. Juliet’s devoted to me. She’s there when I need her. But perhaps she’s been too loyal to me, and maybe she’s excited for the chance to return to the dungeons of Lace.

  Not me.

  The darkness within is calm, quietly resting.

  Chapter 3

  Allie

  I hurry by a sidewalk café in the heart of the Financial District, stomach rumbling, and regret not having time to grab a coffee for Liv and me this morning. Traffic got in my way and getting to Holt’s parking lot took longer than expected. Caffeine is my only recourse for my loss of sleep, and my tossing and turning last night. A certain hunk in a suit made several appearances in my dreams. But a quick hot shower washed the remnants of “erotic dream” Micah away. Now here I am heading down Montgomery Street, briefcase in hand, skyscrapers on either side.

  The hustle and bustle of people is not unusual for this time of day and I’m happy to reach the high-rise on the corner and get out of this rat race. The building is really breathtaking, towering over the city, the dark glass sheathing it adorned with huge silver letters, spelling Holt Enterprises. To the average passerby the building gives the impression that this is a profitable and imposing company.

  It’s a lot for even me to comprehend, as is the fact that I work for Micah.

  You’ve got this, I tell myself, pushing my shoulders back, entering the lobby with a fast-paced stride. Glass encases the open foyer all the way to the ceiling and the balconies on each floor. Leather couches and glass tables are occupied with chatting people enjoying their coffee. I inhale deeply through my nose, exhaling through my mouth, moving toward the security guard to introduce myself.

  Before I can reach him, Anderson intercepts me.

  “Good morning,” he says with a wide grin.

  His navy blue suit is as stylish as yesterday’s, and I smile, glad that I chose a black pencil skirt and vintage-style off-white blouse to wear. “Mornin’.”

  “Before I take you up, we need to get you all signed in,” Anderson says, turning to the security guard sitting behind the large black desk, five computer monitors in front of him. “Allie is a new employee at Holt.”

  “Ah, yes, I have everything for you here. One moment…” The guard types on his keyboard before handing me an envelope with my name written on the front. “Carry your identification with you at all times. It’s an annoying process if you forget it.”

  “Will do,” I reply, thinking Micah must be a control freak. Holt sells real estate, doesen’t deal with government secret projects. The security seems a bit over the top.

  Keeping the thought to myself, I follow Anderson through the large foyer and take in the sheer luxury of the offices. Black glass on the exterior walls, dark marble floors beneath my feet, a staircase running up the middle of the lobby with six glass elevators moving from floor to floor, all full of people.

  The building reminds me of Micah himself: sleek and sexy.

  A slight heaviness weighs in my belly and I grip my briefcase a little tighter, staying behind Anderson as he enters one of the glass elevators and waves me inside.

  “Liv arrived about twenty minutes ago,” he tells me, as the doors shut.

  I press myself against the glass at my back, feeling like a sardine stuffed in a can. “I’m not surprised. She’s punctual.”

  He smiles genuinely. “How long have you worked together?”

  “Five years.” I restrain my gasp as the elevator shoots up and glance behind me, noticing the people in the foyer are now just a blur. Heights are right up there with my least favorite things in life, so I look straight ahead, staring at the back of the head of the guy in front of me.

  We pass floor by floor, stopping at each as people enter or leave the elevator. Everyone is dressed in the latest fashions, looking very professional. My mouth goes dry as realization hits me hard. This place and the people seem a lot like the life I experienced with my half-brother. Pushing my distaste aside, I remind myself that I worked hard for this promotion, making me feel a little better about my decision and the surroundings. Besides, Liv deserves a promotion too, and that makes this all worth it.

  I follow Anderson out of the elevator, onto the sixtieth floor. The fact that there are sixty-one floors noted on the elevator panel tells me that Micah and his group of yes-men are likely located on the top floor. The thought of him flutters through my mind, as does the heat in my veins. I can’t shake the haunting darkness I saw in his eyes; the darkness that makes me curious about him; the darkness that ignites my body; the darkness that screams of immense power and sensuality.

  God, I’m in so much trouble with that guy.

  We’re only separated by one floor, and I can’t deny the anticipation coursing through me at the thought of seeing him again, no matter that my mind is also chec

  king off all the reasons I shouldn’t want him.

  The elevator doors shut behind me, breaking me out of my thoughts, and I take one step into the office, my mind instantly going fuzzy. Three receptionists are sitting behind an all-glass desk. To the left, I find the waiting area full of clients, seated in white leather chairs. To the right is a long hallway lined with offices. “Wow,” I breathe.

  Anderson nods. “That’s most people’s reaction when they first visit Holt. The building is impressive.”

  Impressive is an understatement. The modern offices, at least three times the size of the ones at Richardson, are furnished with dark glass desks, a Mac computer on each, and white leather swivel chairs. We pass by the receptionists, who are busy on the telephones, and I’m feeling a little out of my element by the time Anderson stops and I find Liv, sitting on a white leather couch against the wall in our office.

  She gives a small yelp when she sees me. “Dude! We have died and gone to real estate heaven.”

  I try to respond, but my voice is stuck, reveling in my new work
place. From ceiling to floor, windows cover the back wall, showing the skyscrapers in San Francisco’s Financial District. With the sunny day and fluffy clouds, the view belongs on a freakin’ postcard.

  “Wow,” I breathe again, which appears to be all I can say.

  Anderson approaches Liv’s desk, positioned close to the door. “Micah thought you would like Liv in the office with you, since you two work closely together, so we set you up in one of the larger offices.” He taps the desk with two fingers, pausing to examine me. “Is that all right?”

  A flush of adrenaline tingles through me. Micah made special requests for me? Well, in this case, he’s not wrong. I do like Liv close by. “I couldn’t ask for more,” I tell Anderson. “Truly. This office is perfect.”

  “Oh, it’s so much more than that,” Liv purrs, rising from the couch and taking her seat behind her desk, running her hands over the dark glass. “This office is sexy.”

  I chuckle at my very happy assistant, then glance at Anderson, who’s laughing at her, too. He eventually turns to me. “This morning we thought you could get acquainted with our system. We’ve already set up a meeting at two o’clock this afternoon for you and your first clients, at a restaurant called The Vault. Do you know it?”

  “Yes, I do.” I reply, having eaten there many times. “But wait. You set up the meeting? Isn’t it my job to find the clients?”

  Anderson’s grin is sweet, trusting. “Not at Holt. Here, clients come to us.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope. “Before I forget, here’s your company credit card. It’s not unusual for clients to request meetings over breakfast, lunch, or dinner—five-star restaurants are mandatory when entertaining clients.” I accept the envelope, then Anderson addresses both Liv and me. “Enjoy your day, ladies.”

  I wait for Anderson to be out of hearing distance before saying to Liv, “This place is a freakin’ dream come true.”

  “I know,” Liv mutters, still stroking the glass on her desk. “It’s a perfect new home for us.”

  I give my head a slight shake. “Did you ever think we’d end up”—I wave my hands around the office—“here?”

  “Hell no.” Liv grins, eyes twinkling. “But I’m glad we did.” She pauses to study me, her eyes narrowing a little. “By the way, did you have anything to do with my raise?”

  “Maybe.” I smile.

  “Thought so.” Liv smiles back. “I was happy with what they offered me yesterday. But Anderson had me sign a new employment contract this morning, with a better salary. So, thanks for that.”

  “Were they good to you?”

  Liv nods. “Very.”

  “I’m glad.” There are thousands of assistants. But there’s only one Liv. And she deserves to be paid well.

  I move farther into our office, passing the two sleek leather chairs in front of my desk, and then take my seat, staring at the doorway that Anderson had exited. My lungs expand to their fullest with a deep satisfied breath when I turn to stare out at the high-rise next to ours.

  Five years I put in at Richardson, and now, here at Holt, I have a dream job most agents would kill for. The thought vindicates my lack of love life. At least I have a spectacular job now, instead of a decent job and no sex life.

  “So…” Liv drawls, turning me away from the window. Her chin is resting on her hand, eyes dancing. “Are we going to finally talk about the fireworks between you and Micah yesterday?”

  I hastily avoid looking at her and begin setting up my Mac. “Nope, ’cause there were no fireworks.” I’d dodged that particular question from her all day yesterday. Apparently, my luck had run out.

  “Right,” Liv says. “So all that intensity bouncing between you two is normal everyday stuff.”

  “Yup.” I give a firm nod. “Totally normal.”

  “You’ve never been a good liar,” she says dryly. “You know this, right?”

  “Yup. I know that, too.” I grin.

  This is why I love Liv. Somehow we mix personal and professional flawlessly. She’s not only my go-to girl for all things work related, but she’s my go-to girl for a seriously fun night out.

  “Excuse me. Allie?”

  The smooth voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I glance at the door, finding a slender man entering the office. Liv gives me a knowing grin, and the large bouquet of flowers in our visitor’s hands isn’t the reason for it. The man’s shoes, obsessively shiny, are nicer than mine. He dresses better than me too, in a perfectly tailored gray suit with a dark blue tie. His eyebrows are tweezed to perfection and his spiky blond hair doesn’t have a strand out of place. This guy is pretty.

  I smirk at Liv and then say to the man, “Yes, I’m Allie.”

  “I’m Neil, Mr. Holt’s assistant.” He places the flowers on my desk, laugh lines creasing the corners of his baby blue eyes. “These are for you.”

  “Wow. Flowers from the boss,” Liv says to Neil. “Is this something Mr. Holt always does for new employees?” She’s totally digging to prove me wrong about the “fireworks.” Her sly smile gives her away.

  “Oh, no.” Neil chuckles in a cute sort of way that nearly brings a smile to my face. “This is a first, believe me. You must have made an impression.”

  Liv lifts a brow at me and smirks. “Oh, yeah, no fireworks at all.”

  I roll my eyes at her and pluck the card out from the flowers.

  Allie—

  Welcome to Holt.

  —Micah

  When I look up at Neil, I find him grinning stupidly at me like this should have me happy dancing. I bite the inside of my cheek, glancing at Liv to see what she might be thinking. Of course, her smile mirrors Neil’s. Tightness swells in my chest. God, I’m so tempted to fall into Micah’s flirtation. I’m still tormented by the way he looked at me. The dark promises I swear he can deliver on tempt me. But there’s a long list of why this is a bad idea. The biggest reason being that the man I want in my life would deliver the flowers to me himself instead of sending his assistant.

  I rise from my seat and bring the bouquet to Neil. “Please thank Mr. Holt for the gift, but take them back and tell him not to send anything like this again.”

  Neil’s eyes bulge, his skin pales. “I can’t do that!”

  “Oh, sure you can.” I give him a light push on the back, noting the softness of his jacket and trying to decide if it’s cotton or something else, while I ease him out of my office. “Thanks for bringing them by, though. It’s great to meet you.”

  Neil leaves the office muttering something I don’t understand.

  The moment he’s on his way, Liv snaps, “It’s happened. You’ve lost your goddamn mind.”

  I chuckle. “Nope. My mind is good. Promise.”

  “Then why did you do that?”

  I return to my desk, coming up with another reason besides my earlier ones for not taking Micah up on his offer. I need my relationship with Liv; the thought of us changing terrifies me. She knows me as Allie, a real estate agent who has worked for her success and who doesn’t have a million dollars in her bank account. I never want her view of me to change. “I did that because I want to be known as the woman who refused flowers from Micah. I don’t want to be known as the girl who maybe got the job because the boss likes her.”

  Liv grins from ear to ear. “She finally admits it.”

  I give her another well-deserved eye roll and half shrug. “Who knows what his intention is, but you know women—that’s exactly what they’ll think. It’s not professional of him to send me flowers.”

  Liv gazes at me with focus until her shoulders slump. “You’re right. Catty bitches will so think that.”

  I nod in agreement. “We’ve got a new start here. I’d like to avoid the catty bitches, if possible.” I cross my legs while the computer screen comes to life. Dating Micah isn’t like dating any guy. The tabloids would unearth all my secrets and take away my privacy, because that’s what happens when you date Micah Holt.

  Just because he has a dark sedu
ction that draws me in and a powerful presence that soaks my panties doesn’t mean he’s worth the risk. At least not yet, echoes in my heart.

  I shake that particular thought from my mind and get down to business. “Let’s forget about the flowers and see about figuring out this new system so we can make magic happen.”

  Liv gives me her go-getter smile. “That is what we do best.”

  Micah

  I enter my favorite restaurant in the Financial District, The Vault, waving off the hostess as she approaches me. The modern design with dark wood tables and white linens, the delicious cuisine, and the professional staff are all the reasons I visit this restaurant as often as possible. I pass by the tables heading around the right side of the restaurant, noting a few women giving me appreciative glances before I reach my destination in the far corner of the room. Holt’s clients Peter and Jenny Lowe are chatting real estate, but my eye goes to the stunning brunette captivating them.

  I get why—Allie captivates me in the same way. It’s not only her long straight hair that shines against the light or her hourglass figure or her stunning crystal blue eyes; it’s the energy she projects and the kindness exuding from her. She’s magnetizing and I can see I’m not the only one pulled in.

  When I reach the table, I hear Jenny saying, “We want a big backyard with a pool, but maybe that’s a want, not a need. We could always put one in later. Right, honey?”

  Peter nods, almost absentmindedly, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair. “Of course, sweetheart.”

  Jenny’s smile brightens and her lips part to respond, when she notices me. “Oh, Micah. Hello.”

  Peter rises instantly, offering his hand. “We weren’t expecting you this afternoon.”

  In the last five years, Peter and I have done two business transactions together, to buy property to expand two different locations in the city. “Peter, Jenny,” I say, returning his handshake. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.” While my presence here would surely delight Peter and Jenny, making them feel special since I never personally meet with residential clients, my coming here has nothing to do with them. I glance at the reason, finding Allie’s head tilting to the side, her pouty lips pursed. “Hello, Allie,” I say.