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Billionaire Mountain Man

Page 39

by Claire Adams


  I wasn’t a pawn that was going to do his bidding. I wasn’t some fucking weakling who was going to admit that I was head over heels for him when he clearly felt nothing at fucking all for me.

  It took everything that I had in me, but I met my father’s expectant gaze and found my voice amidst the storm of emotions raging in me. “I’m okay. Olivia tricked me into coming here. I was at the library. I’m just tired, and I don’t have time for this bullshit.”

  “Bullshit, huh?” My father’s gaze burnt into me like he was trying to see straight into my mind and unlock my deepest darkest secrets. To see the place that James had taken up residence in.

  “Yes, don’t ask me to apologize for cursing. I won’t. I have to get back to the library. This was a total waste of time. Please ask your receptionist to mind her own business. If you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving now.” I didn’t wait for either of them to answer. I spun out of the office and practically sprinted to my car, tears pricking at the backs of my eyes.

  I just had to make it to the privacy of my car before they could be unleashed. If I could manage it, I desperately wanted to make it home before the tears came. I knew that once the sobbing started and the feelings swimming around inside me came to the surface, it wasn’t going to end quickly.

  A sob threatened to rise in my throat.

  There. I could see my car. Only a few more yards and I’ll have made to through step two. Step one: get the fuck out of there.

  Step two: make it to my car without screaming, crying, or collapsing. Possibly all three at the same time.

  I dug blindly around in my bag for my keys when James’s voice called out to me. I bit back a fresh sob.

  Every fiber in my being wanted to turn around. To face him. To sink into his comforting arms. To let him hold me so tight that my heart wouldn’t be able to shatter in his grasp. To let him explain and let him wash the pain away with soothing words.

  Instead, I managed to find the unlock button on my key fob and hurried into the car, locking the doors as soon as I sank into the driver’s seat.

  James appeared at my door just as I slammed it shut. It reminded me of the way that he had so casually strolled up to my door on the night of our first date. I had known that night that he was trouble. I just had no idea how deep I was about to get into it.

  “Gabbi, wait. Just give me a second to explain. Please. I promise you that I can explain.” I could hear him through the panels of my car. For just a second, I imagined that I saw my own hurt reflected in his eyes. In his voice. Then I remembered his expression back in the office.

  No. He felt nothing. He’d made that abundantly fucking clear not five minutes ago. That hadn’t been the expression of a man choosing between his career and family and a woman that he loved. It was the expression of a man who simply did not give a single fuck.

  “I think you explained quite enough back there.”

  I cranked my radio to drown out whatever he was trying to say. I wasn’t going to give in. I wasn’t going to let him feed me some bullshit lines.

  On autopilot, I strapped myself in and gripped my steering wheel, and I tore away from the only man that I’d ever loved.

  It felt like I was leaving a part of my soul behind. I glanced back in my rearview mirror. James’s shoulders were slightly hunched, and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.

  The part of my soul that was permanently glued to his called me back. I ignored it. Even if the pain of doing it was so unbearable that it felt like I was being split in half.

  I rounded the corner out of the parking lot, and the first tears sprung free when James disappeared from view. Tears ran down my cheeks, warm and heavy and salty. I wasn’t sobbing yet though. Images from our time together played in my mind.

  Our first dinner together. Jet skiing and walking on the beach. Talking until the sun either set or rose, depending on which memory I pulled up.

  The way that he knew my body better than I did. Lunch at the Spanish place. His complete support and constant pep talks about law school.

  A hundred different moments. A hundred different memories that would haunt me for the rest of my life. Not to mention how much I would miss the feeling of being wrapped up in those sculpted arms. Seeing his eyes light up at a joke. Hearing his voice on the other end of the line.

  The more distance that I put between myself and James, the angrier I became. The worst thing was that the anger wasn’t directed at him. I was pissed off at myself.

  I channeled the rage instead of the pain. I would deal with the pain when I got home.

  Until then, I berated myself for ever letting my heart get involved. For allowing myself to fall for him despite everything that I knew about football players. Players in general. I fucking knew better. I did.

  In a cruel twist of fate, perhaps a fitting one, a popular song blared through my speakers about a girl knowing that a guy was trouble when he walked in, but how she fell for him anyway.

  She was right about one thing: the blame was on me. I had known that he was trouble the moment he walked into my father’s office on that first day we met. I had known that he wasn’t looking for something serious.

  What we had was never even a real relationship.

  That pain that threatened to split me open and consume me in a blaze of fire? The pain I would never recover from? It was all my own damn fault for allowing myself to fall so hard for James in the first place.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  James

  There are a few defining moments in a man’s life.

  Moments when you don’t fully understand the ways your life is about to change, but you know that from that moment forward, shit is going to be awesome. I had one of those moments when I signed my first pro contract. I had another when I made the decision to man up and be a dad to Harper.

  Then there are moments when you know that shit is never going to be as good as you had it the day before. I had one of those moments when I lost my parents. Then there are moments where you know that you’re fucked or that you fucked up. Royally.

  I had one of those moments in Richard’s office when I denied that anything was going on between Gabrielle and me. The words weren’t even out of my mouth, weren’t even cold yet, and I knew I had fucked up. Royally.

  I had walked into that office thinking that I was about to have one of the best moments of my life. Instead, it turned out to be in the top three worst days of my fucking life.

  It took me awhile to figure out why, but watching Gabrielle drive away from me clarified things. I’d never felt pain like that before. It was different from losing my parents, of course. But it hurt like a son of a bitch nonetheless.

  That’s when it hit me, like a knockout punch from Mike Tyson himself. I was in love with Gabrielle. I fucking loved her like I hadn’t ever thought it was possible to love a woman. Like I had never loved anyone before, because I hadn’t. Not like that.

  Instead of stepping up like a man, I’d thrown her away with both hands. The expression on her face when I denied our relationship to her father and his reception bitch, the agony that I saw there when I caught up to her car, it told me that she might just have felt the same way about me.

  Before I’d ripped her heart out and stomped all over it like a one-man marching band. It haunted me all night. I didn’t get one minute of sleep.

  All that I could think about was that I had to make this right. If she wanted to have nothing to do with me after, so be it. I had to tell her that I loved her. I had to face Richard and tell him that I loved her.

  If he chose to revoke the offer, that was the price I would have to pay for making the biggest fucking mistake that I’d ever made.

  I would leave Miami and never look back. I would work my way up with another team and give Harper the future that she deserved.

  I would throw myself into work every second that I wasn’t with Harper and resign myself to the fact that I’d fucked things up with the love of my goddamn life. That I was damned
to be lonely forever as a result of my own actions.

  The plan that had taken me all night to come up with wasn’t exactly rocket science. Although, from what I’d heard, rocket science wasn’t exactly rocket science. The plan wasn’t necessarily complex.

  It wasn’t the big romantic gesture that Gabrielle deserved. It was all I could come up with through the blinding pain that wrecked me from the inside out.

  It started with Richard. I had to come clean to him first. When I told Gabrielle, I had to be able to tell her that I’d been entirely honest with Richard. That I wasn’t asking her to go behind his back again.

  If she chose to forgive me, to be with me, we’d be doing it right. It was the only way to take a real shot at having a real relationship. No sneaking around, no doubts about what we were to each other, or why we were in it.

  All of which relied on my not having entirely misread her the day before, and she would actually want me after what I had done.

  Jesus, I sounded like a pussy. Even to myself.

  Strangely, I found that I didn’t mind it so much. I wasn’t stupid. I had found my girl. The only one who had ever held my interest for longer than a couple of fucks. The only one that I had ever wanted to talk to, to learn about, to wake up with.

  I would be a pussy if I gave her up because I was too afraid to face her father, or if I let her go without laying my cards on the table and fighting for her.

  After a long, fortifying shower, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a Henley, grabbed my keys and my sunglasses, and went to fight for my girl, hoping to all that was holy that she knew me well enough to know that I was being honest today, not just covering up my fuck up from the day before for another shot at getting into her pants.

  I marched past Olivia, ignoring her scathing stares and calls that Richard was busy and that I couldn’t just burst into his office. I no longer gave a flying fuck about her or her opinions.

  Not being a complete asshole, and on the off chance he was doing something in there that I shouldn’t see him doing, I rapped my knuckles on his door and waited for his gruff voice to bark, “What,” before turning the knob and letting myself in.

  I didn’t know where I expected Gabrielle to be that morning, but it wasn’t sitting in her father’s office gaping at my sudden appearance.

  My breath caught in my lungs.

  Holy shit, she was fucking beautiful. Even with tired circles under her eyes and red rims around them and all.

  To an ordinary onlooker, she might just look tired. I could see that she’d been to hell and back since we’d been in that very office not 24 hours before.

  She sucked in a deep breath at my appearance, letting it out with a shudder. God, what I wouldn’t give to feel her shudder underneath me again, while I wrapped a fist into that soft hair that hung loosely over her shoulders that morning—

  “James, this is a surprise. Have you come bearing good news?” Richard beamed at me.

  Fuck, focus, Skye. That was not the time. I was there to tell him that I loved his daughter, not that I wanted to sleep with her.

  Speaking of whom, Gabrielle’s shoulders hung slightly, and she ran a frustrated hand through her long hair. “I was just leaving.”

  “No, stay. Please stay, Gabbi.” It slipped out, but both she and her father fixed me with shocked eyes. I meant to tell Richard first, then go over to Gabrielle’s, but she was here. I had never been much a believer in fate or destiny or anything like that shit, but if that wasn’t a sign, I wouldn’t know one if it hit me over the head with a cast iron pan.

  “Gabbi?” Richard cocked an eyebrow at me, confusion fast giving way to something else. Something significantly less positive than confused.

  “I did come with good news,” I said. “At least, I think it’s great news. You two might feel otherwise.” Gabrielle hadn’t moved a muscle. She seemed to have been planted in place again. Richard looked torn between absolute joy and murderous rage. It was quite the combination. He seemed to be waging a world war in his head.

  “I want to accept your offer, Richard. I really do. More than I can express to you. My people have looked it over as a formality, and they agree with me. But before I can accept the offer, I need to be straight with you. There’s something you need to know first.” I blew out a deep breath.

  Gabrielle’s eyes grew wide, and she shook her head almost imperceptibly at me, her eyes flashing with some kind of warning. Too late to stop now.

  “I lied to you yesterday,” I said. “Olivia put me on the spot, and I reacted horribly. The truth is, there is something going on between Gabrielle and me. Or there was, at least. It’s entirely up to her whether there still is or ever will be again.”

  The vein in Richard temple throbbed, and his face turned beet red. The muscles in his jaw twitched.

  The fact that he hadn’t clocked me yet had to mean something, though. I took it as a sign of encouragement to continue.

  Gabbi still hadn’t moved. She looked like I’d dumped a bucket of ice water over her head. Her eyes flicked from me to her father and back again.

  Richard’s eyes locked on mine, the challenge in them clear. I met it head on. “I love her, sir. With every damn fiber of my being.”

  I hadn’t called him ‘sir’ in years. It brought him back from his frozen state. His jaw dropped. His voice incredulous. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “I’m not. I love her enough that I’m in here, placing my entire future in jeopardy to tell you that I lied. To tell you that I love her more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone.”

  Gabrielle’s eyes shone with tears. Richard didn’t look at all convinced. Or on board.

  “You’re serious?” The incredulity in his tone rubbed me the wrong way, but I knew better than to let it show. “You fuck a different woman every day of the fucking week, and you want to believe that you’re suddenly in love? With my daughter? Conveniently while waiting for me to make you a better offer?”

  Shit. I could see how that looked. I hadn’t thought quite that far when I’d formulated my not-so-master plan.

  “I can see how this looks. I give you my word that the two things are completely separate. I’m even willing to pass up on the offer if that’s what you want, but I had to tell you, and I had to tell her, the truth.” I hoped that he would see the sincerity in my eyes.

  He went completely silent as he thought about what I’d just offered to do. Gabrielle’s voice spoke up softly. “James is the reason I’m taking the bar, Daddy. We started hanging out after we met here. He made me see that it was my passion as much as it might have been your plan.”

  Richard turned to face his daughter, his expression disbelieving. His voice soft. “James is the reason you realized that?”

  “Yes, Daddy, honestly. I wasn’t going to do it. I’d packed up my books and was researching other options when I met him. Veterinary sciences, even.” Her eyes locked with mine, a small smile playing on her lips.

  Richard moved closer to her, wrapping a hand around hers in a gesture more fatherly than I’d ever seen him make. “You hate blood, baby.”

  She squeezed his hand tenderly and fixed her teary gaze on him. “I know. I was desperate to find the place where I belonged, my true calling. I would’ve gone to the ends of the earth to find it, too. James made me see that I’d already found it. Well, he let me see it for myself, actually.”

  Richard pulled her into a long hug, whispering to her. I was standing close enough to make out only one sentence. “I only ever wanted you to be happy, Gabbi.”

  She whispered something back. It made him shoot out a tired laugh before he released her and turned to me. “You’ve got yourself an incredibly stubborn girl here, James. I hope you’re ready. In the meantime, you don’t have to worry about your contract. I meant it when I said that you were a great asset to the team.”

  He stuck his hand out, and I shook it, completely shell-shocked. “I know, sir. I am ready. Thank you. I love this team. I’m going to give it
my all next season. The contract was couriered an hour ago. It should be here any second.”

  “You had it couriered before you came here?” His voice was lighter than I’d heard it in a long time.

  “Yeah, I told you. The ball was completely in your court on this one.”

  “One more basketball analogy and I might have to reconsider.” He grinned. “Now, I’m sure that you two have a lot to talk about. Get out of here. I’m late for my next meeting already.”

  Neither of us argued. Neither of us so much as made a move towards the other. I kept glancing at Gabrielle as we walked to the parking lot. She looked like she moved in a haze.

  Once we reached her car, she met my eyes for the first time. I opened my mouth to tell her what I’d been dying to tell her since I had realized it in that very parking lot the day before, but she raised a finger to my mouth. “Not here. We’ll talk at my place.”

  “No, we’ll talk at mine. Follow me.” Her lips parted, her brow furrowed. She’d never been to my house. She knew that I had never taken one single woman to that house. That I hadn’t even had a woman at my old place since the day that Harper showed up on my doorstep.

  She nodded slowly. Without another word, without a single clue about what her thoughts were on my life-altering confession, she slid into her car and pulled off next to the gate, evidently waiting for me to catch up.

  I wasted no time. We pulled into my driveway before the enormity of the situation caught up with me. I loved this girl. If she walked out on me, she would be taking the part of my heart that had grown just for her. I wasn’t sure that I’d ever get it back.

  Gabrielle followed me through the garage into the kitchen, still without a word. It seemed that it was my turn to speak. “Would you like some water?”

  She shook her head and marched right up to me. “Did you mean what you said back at the office?”

  “Which part?” It wasn’t the time to tease her, so I didn’t give her the chance to answer before reaching out and pulling her to me so that we were chest to chest. “The part about being absolutely, completely, proudly pussy-whipped in love with you?”

 

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