All I Need 3

by Scarlett Metal

  “I don’t expect you to get it, big brother. You’re probably too busy working all the fucking time to even let a girl get close to you. Is that what this is about? Are you jealous I found someone while you live in New York all alone?” Pain flashed in his face and I was instantly sorry for what I said. Maybe I hit closer to home than I realized.

  “Whatever,” he said and slammed his laptop shut. He stood up for the table and started to walk out of the kitchen before turning to me. “When he breaks your heart into a million tiny pieces, don’t come crying to me and remember I warned you.”

  He left the room before I could respond and I shook my head. Some girl really fucked him over. I’m surprised he never told me. He usually called me after every date and we would analyze it together. Later when he calmed down I would have to go talk to him and see what was up. I didn’t want him to go back to New York with us still fighting. We needed each other more than ever now that Mom was gone.

  I thought back to my conversation with Mom about Cane. She asked me if he was the one and I was sad that I couldn’t tell her that yes, he was the one. God, I was going to miss her.

  Dad walked into the kitchen and I wiped the tears from my cheeks before he could see them. I had to be extra strong for him right now.

  “Were you two fighting again?” He asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He wasn’t dressed yet, wearing the robe Mom got him for Christmas last year and his slippers. His hair was messed up and he had dark circles under his eyes from no sleep. I could count on one hand how many times I saw Dad in his robe. He was always an early rise, up and dressed well before the rest of us even thought about getting up, even Mom.

  “It was nothing, Dad,” I said and attempted a smile. “Just silly brother/sister stuff.” He sat down next to me. “Listen Dad. I need to get back to LA next week. Do you think you will be okay here by yourself?”

  He took a long sip of coffee and didn’t say anything. Finally he whispered, “I’ll never be okay here by myself again.”

  “Oh Dad,” I said and leaned over to hug him. Sobs wracked his body and for the first time since Mom’s death, I was really genuinely worried that he would never be okay again. I didn’t think too much about it in the beginning, assuming he was mourning in his own way like the rest of us. Now I wasn’t so sure he would ever get back to normal. I was going to have to talk to David about this.

  “Don’t leave me, Linds,” he sobbed.

  I nodded and rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. “I’m not going anywhere, Dad. Don’t worry.” Looks like I was going to have to stick around in Madison longer than planned. I could try to find him a counselor that could help. He had no other family nearby. This was such a mess. For a split second I was angry with my mother for leaving me to clean this up. I felt instantly guilty. She didn’t mean to get cancer and die. I would do whatever I could to make sure Dad was taken care of.

  He eventually regained his composure and I left him in the kitchen to make some calls. The first would be to my editor. It looked like I was going to have to work from home. They were going to wait until I got back to LA to give me any new assignments, but it seemed like I was unsure of when that would be right now.

  I sent him an email and he responded almost immediately with a few story ideas for the next few weeks. He had lost his dad a couple of hears ago, so he understood what I was going through. I thanked him and began my search for a grief counselor for Dad.

  It was later in the afternoon when I received a text from Cane, letting me know he was back in LA. I was going to have to talk to him later too about my plans. He was going to be busy in the studio, so maybe he wouldn’t be so upset about my delay in getting back to town.

  I was getting hungry and decided it was time to make up with my brother. I found him in the family room, sitting on the couch and channel surfing on Dad’s huge TV. I sat on the opposite of the couch from him, tucking my leg underneath me.

  “There is shit on daytime TV,” he muttered and tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of him.

  “I’m sorry for what I said earlier about you being all alone in New York and jealous about Cane and me.” It was hard, but I had to be the better person here. If some girl fucked him over, there was no way he was going to be the first one to say sorry.

  “Thanks.” He turned to face me. “And I’m sorry about what I said. I’m just worried about my little sister.”

  “I figured.” I tucked my other leg up on the couch. “What’s going on with you David? I could see it in your face when I mentioned another girl.”

  He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. For the first time I noticed how tired he looked. I was so busy with Cane and worrying about Dad, I never took the time to see how this was affecting him.

  “There was a girl,” he said quietly, keeping his eyes on the TV. “But I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe one day I will, but not today.” He glanced over at me. “I promise I’ll fill you in eventually, but right now it’s too hard. I appreciate your concern.”

  I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them to me. “Okay, I’ll let you off the hook this time, but you better tell me soon.” I grinned at him. “Do I need to come to New York and beat someone up for you?”

  He laughed. “Maybe. I’ll let you know.” He reached for the remote on the table and turned off the TV. “I’m only worried about you, Linds. You’ll always be my little sister. It’s my job to look out for you.”

  “I know,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll have you know, I tried to stay away from Cane for a long time, but we were just drawn to each other. We can’t help it. Fate keeps throwing these curve balls at us, but we find our way back. I can’t ignore that.” I wasn’t going to tell him what Cane said to me that morning. “I know what I’m getting into better than anyone.”

  David stood up and walked over to me. He helped me up off the couch and gave me a big hug. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” He was squeezing me so tight against him, my words were muffled by his chest. Then my stomach rumbled loud enough for us to both hear it.

  He pulled away and laughed. “Hungry?”

  “Starving! I haven’t eaten all day,” I admitted sheepishly.

  “Come on. I don’t think there’s much in the house for food other than the billions of lasagnas and casseroles people brought over. Let me take you to dinner.”

  “What about Dad?” I asked.

  “We can invite him too,” he said, walking into the kitchen.

  I followed behind him. “I don’t think he’ll go.” I stopped and leaned against the counter. “David, I’m worried about him.”

  “Why?” He asked, looking around for the car keys.

  “You haven’t noticed?” For someone so smart, he sure was dumb. “He doesn’t sleep or get dressed. He walks around in that robe Mom got him. He looks like shit.” My eyes welled up with tears. “I don’t think I can leave him yet and go back to LA.”

  He stopped moving around and looked at me thoughtfully. “Now that you mention it, I guess I did notice. I assumed it was a man grieving for his wife. Are you sure you’re not overreacting?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head. “No, I don’t. I’m going to see if I can get him into some grief counseling. I talked to my boss and he’s okay with me working from here a little bit longer.”

  “Thank you for looking out for him, Linds. Mom would appreciate it too. I’m sorry I have to go back to New York tomorrow but I’ll check in often and call me if you need my help with anything.” He grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall. “Let’s leave Dad alone then and go eat. I want to hear more about you and Cane.”

  I reached for my purse on the kitchen island and rolled my eyes. Maybe talking about Cane would be a good distraction.

  The rest of the evening was a lot of fun with my brother and it was exactly what we needed to reconnect after the stress of the last few weeks. We reminisced about our times growing up and I told him all about Cane and th
e stupid skank that showed up claiming to be his wife. He rolled his eyes a few times, but refrained from making any rude comments.

  When we got home, we watched a few of our favorite movies together after checking on Dad. He was sitting in his bedroom with the TV on, but I wasn’t so sure he was watching it. I wished there was a way I could pull him out of this.

  I tried calling Cane before I went to sleep, but he didn’t answer. He must have been passed out cold. He said he was going to go home and sleep until it was time to go to the studio since there would be so many sleepless nights ahead. I couldn’t help but be a little bit disappointed that I didn’t get to hear his voice before drifting to sleep.

  The next day David left for New York. He insisted on taking a cab and wouldn’t let me drive him to the airport. He left with little fanfare, hugging me tight before walking out the door. It was typical fashion for my brother - show no emotion. He always said that showing emotion made you look weak.

  I checked on Dad and got him some coffee before sitting down to do some writing. In addition to the articles for the magazine, I was working on a book about my time around the music scene. I was already shopping it around to a few publishers and was extremely excited about it. No one knew about it yet; I didn’t want to jinx myself until it was closer to being ready to publish and someone picked it up.

  I still hadn’t told Cane that I had to stay in Madison a bit longer. Every time we got on the phone with each other, the conversation was cut short by someone calling him back into the studio. I was going to have to tell him via text pretty soon so he knew. He wasn’t kidding when he said he would be hard to reach once they started working.

  I managed to get Dad in to see a counselor. At first he didn’t want to go, but I managed to talk him into it. I finally told Cane I wasn’t coming back to LA and I didn’t know when I would. I told him Dad needed me. His reply was better than I expected. He said he was so busy with the album it was fine because we wouldn’t see each other much anyway.

  A few weeks went by and I was busy writing and taking care of Dad. The counselor put him on some medication and he seemed to be coming out of his shell. I was hoping to get back to LA within the month.

  I talked to Cane less and less as time went by. I kept telling myself he was busy but it felt like he was pulling away from me. Maybe he got spooked by our relationship going too fast. Whatever it was, I needed to see him soon and figure it out.

  I ran to the grocery store one morning to get some more coffee and other things for the house. The lady in line in front of me was taking forever. She had a million coupons and I rolled my eyes. I glanced over at the magazines in the rack next to me. The middle one caught my eye. There was a picture of Cane with the headline about him being a father. What the fuck!

  I pulled it from the rack, my hands shaking. This had to be a mistake. I looked closer and saw a small picture of Destiny. I wanted to throw up. I put it back and fought back the tears until I was able to get out to the car.

  I threw my groceries into the seat next to me and gripped the steering wheel. This had to be why Cane was so distant when we talked and why he was pulling away from me. The asshole was too chicken shit to tell me.

  Maybe my brother had been right in telling me not to trust Cane.

  Chapter Seven ~ Cane

  Things in the studio had been going well. The songs I wrote while in Madison were coming together great and we felt like we had some big hits on our hands. The whole process was grueling as usual, but I loved it. The only thing that sucked was that I barely could talk to Lindsey. I missed her voice and that body of hers like crazy.

  Then there was the whole mess with Destiny. I left it up to my manager to take care of it since I was too busy. I didn’t want to talk to her anyway. I was afraid I would lose it and there would be a scene. I had to keep this out of the press until we figured it out. I wanted to tell Lindsey, but it wasn’t something you told someone over the phone. Originally she was supposed to be out here a week after I got back, but her dad wasn’t handling her mom’s death very well and she had to stay in Madison.

  I hadn’t heard anything from my manager on the situation in a week, so I assumed it was taken care of.

  Boy, was I ever wrong.

  The whole shit storm starting raining down on a Wednesday. It was another day at the studio. Everyone arrived at seven AM, despite not having left the night before until two AM. Diesel saved the day, bringing us all coffee and donuts. I swore he was like a woman sometimes, making sure we were all taken care of. He sure took care of my ass on more than one occasion.

  We worked all morning, all cell phones off like always. Everyone knew not to disturb us unless it was a real emergency and then they had to call the studio phone. Only those closest to us had that number. For me, only our manager had that number. I thought about giving it to Lindsey, but if she needed me, she could call him. No one ever called us there though because unless someone was dying, they knew we would be furious.

  That was why the whole place got quiet when the studio phone rang that afternoon. Everyone stood there and looked at the phone. If we picked it up, it wasn’t going to be good news for any of us. We were all frozen in place, unable to move.

  “What the fuck guys,” Diesel mumbled and walked over to the phone. “Hello?”

  My heart dropped when he looked at me. “Yeah, he’s right here.” He held out the phone towards me. “It’s for you, Cane.”

  My mouth went dry and my palms started to sweat. Please let Lindsey be okay. I took the phone from him, hoping he couldn’t see that my hand was shaking slightly. “Hello?”

  “Cane, we have a serious situation,” my manager said, almost shouting into the phone. “She went to the press. It’s all over today.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I was so relieved that he wasn’t calling to tell me Lindsey was hurt or worse, I had no idea what he meant.

  “Destiny.”

  He didn’t need to say anything else. “Fuck,” I muttered into the phone. “You were supposed to take care of this.”

  “I tried. Then she disappeared off the face of the earth. She was probably getting ready for this story.” He sighed into the phone. “I’m sorry, Cane. I’m trying to do damage control. We may have to call in someone though. It might get beyond my area of expertise.”

  “Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you have to take care of this. I mean it,” I snarled into the phone before hanging up. I scrubbed my face with my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. I was so fucked. I didn’t care about the world knowing what that bitch was saying, but I was worried about Lindsey. If she saw the magazines before I had a chance to tell her, she would be furious with me.

  “Is everything okay?” Diesel asked.

  I shook my head. “No, not really.” I sat down on one of the chairs, my heart heavy. “Remember that groupie that showed up and claimed to be my wife?”

  “Yeah, she was hot,” the drummer Zane smirked. JJ the bass player threw his pen at him, hitting him in the side of the head. “Ouch, man, what was that for?”

  Everyone glared at him. “It’s not the time for that, you asshole,” JJ scolded him before turning his attention back to me. “What’s going on?”

  “I hired a private investigator when she came around claiming to be my wife and he wasn’t able to find any paperwork that said we were married. I thought that was the end of it but I guess not.” I leaned my head back on the chair. “She came around a couple of weeks ago claiming to be pregnant with my baby.”

  “Whoa,” Zane said, his mouth open. “That sucks.”

  Things in the studio had been going well. The songs I wrote while in Madison were coming together great and we felt like we had some big hits on our hands. The whole process was grueling as usual, but I loved it. The only thing that sucked was that I barely could talk to Lindsey. I missed her voice and that body of hers like crazy.

  Then there was the whole mess with Destiny. I left it up to my manager to take car
e of it since I was too busy. I didn’t want to talk to her anyway. I was afraid I would lose it and there would be a scene. I had to keep this out of the press until we figured it out. I wanted to tell Lindsey, but it wasn’t something you told someone over the phone. Originally she was supposed to be out here a week after I got back, but her dad wasn’t handling her mom’s death very well and she had to stay in Madison.

  I hadn’t heard anything from my manager on the situation in a week, so I assumed it was taken care of.

  Boy, was I ever wrong.

  The whole shit storm starting raining down on a Wednesday. It was another day at the studio. Everyone arrived at seven AM, despite not having left the night before until two AM. Diesel saved the day, bringing us all coffee and donuts. I swore he was like a woman sometimes, making sure we were all taken care of. He sure took care of my ass on more than one occasion.

  We worked all morning, all cell phones off like always. Everyone knew not to disturb us unless it was a real emergency and then they had to call the studio phone. Only those closest to us had that number. For me, only our manager had that number. I thought about giving it to Lindsey, but if she needed me, she could call him. No one ever called us there though because unless someone was dying, they knew we would be furious.

  That was why the whole place got quiet when the studio phone rang that afternoon. Everyone stood there and looked at the phone. If we picked it up, it wasn’t going to be good news for any of us. We were all frozen in place, unable to move.

  “What the fuck guys,” Diesel mumbled and walked over to the phone. “Hello?”

  My heart dropped when he looked at me. “Yeah, he’s right here.” He held out the phone towards me. “It’s for you, Cane.”

  My mouth went dry and my palms started to sweat. Please let Lindsey be okay. I took the phone from him, hoping he couldn’t see that my hand was shaking slightly. “Hello?”