In Love with Ezra (Love Unaccounted Book 2)

by Belvin, Love

  Ezra snorted softly, clearly amused. He swiped the strip of my eyebrow. “I’ve assigned the night to one of my ministers. Your starting your new job presaged my need of being home tonight rather than my normal schedule.”

  Then something else hit me. “How is it that you made it home before me when you left after me? You didn’t work either?”

  Ezra not working?

  He nodded, a balm of calm coating him. “I worked from home so I could see you off and receive you this evening, beloved,” he rasped softly, pulling up the sheets to cover my back.

  The gesture of changing his schedule and the act of him looking out for me warmed me, and apparently deluded me, too. All of this was a parody of…

  “Why did you change your schedule for me, Ezra?” I whispered so softly, I could barely hear myself.

  I was unbelievably desperate for the right answer. The one that would make a hell of a lot more sense than most of the peculiar shit he did with his mood swings.

  “Because you belong to me, kitten.” He exhaled, and I could sense his exhaustion. “And I’d like to keep it that way.”

  I belonged to him. That declaration warmed me like nothing else. I pulled the side of his beard to lower him down to my face. He obliged and I kissed him, pouring my regrets down his throat. My tongue moved wildly and my breathing had turned the same. His tongue was smooth and slick against my mouth. I sucked in his lip, letting the hairs of his face abrade my chin. Ezra let me take his mouth, displaying a rare act of submitting to me. Suddenly, I was aroused again and pushed at the sheets to free my body so I could straddle him.

  Ezra abruptly yanked at the sheet from behind my back with his left hand. That woke me from my aroused spell.

  “Not after your wild production this evening,” he informed with hooded eyes and yet a firm resolve.

  A dagger lodged in my chest.

  I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry about that,” I whispered, in unidentifiable pain.

  “And for bringing hard liquor in my home? I’m a man of God, Alexis. My home is holy.”

  My lip quivered. Panic returned, this time at his fleeting grace. Ezra was shutting me out.

  “I’m sorry about that, too,” I murmured in a hush.

  “And spitting in my face?”

  I didn’t actually spit. But you would have if he didn’t stop you.

  My eyes pooled with tears as I studied his resolute face.

  “I’m sorry,” my voice fell and I immediately tried to swallow back my cry.

  Ezra took me at the side of my face with his right hand and caressed my skin as he pierced me with a determined gaze.

  “And I accept,” he rasped, eyeing me closely. I swallowed hard. “But I need to forgive you, and that’ll take more than a rash reaction to my confrontation.”

  Those words sheared through me, knocking down every ounce of confidence and security he’d restored since we left the shower. After searching his eyes for seconds long, mine fell in inferiority. Along with being ashamed, I was hurt.

  Ezra assisted me upstairs to our bedroom and tucked me in. When I realized it was close to eleven and he wasn’t getting in bed with me; I sulked. He turned down the lights and closed the door behind him leaving me alone in obscurity of the darkness of the room and confusion in my mind.

  twelve

  Lex

  The next morning I was awakened by my alarm. Disoriented, I searched the bed to confirm I was alone. I couldn’t have expected Ezra to be there; he had to return to work at the lab. I still couldn’t believe he delayed it a day to be home when I finished my first day at work. Guilt began pouring in at that and so did the memories of yesterday. My stomach twisted and I felt like shit.

  “And I accept, but I need to forgive you, and that’ll take more than a rash reaction to my confrontation.” His words echoed in my head.

  I tried to spit in my husband’s face!

  Ezra came to bed at some point last night because I recalled him pulling back the comforter to rub my wrists and ankles with a cream. As I stretched them out in the bed I could see they were achy, but I would still be able to get through the day. Slowly, I turned for the floor and carefully gained the balance on my feet. I still had remnants of tenderness from two nights ago, at the club.

  After getting dressed, I headed downstairs. I could hear movement in the kitchen. Was it Ezra? I bit my lip as my pulse raced. I assumed he’d left for the day already. I toed lightly into the kitchen afraid of who I’d see. It was Ms. Remah, standing over the sink, holding a dish rag.

  “I need to pack me tings?” she asked, her back to me.

  There was that pang that rang through my belly again.

  I shook my head hard before assuring, “No!” though I wasn’t one hundred percent sure.

  Did Ezra threaten that when I wasn’t around? He did refer to this place as his house several times last night.

  “I’m old, Lexi. The air here is good fuh me.” Then her eyes appeared on me.

  She was pleading with me to fly right on this with Ezra. Ms. Remah hadn’t wanted to move up here. More than anything she wanted to look out for me. She knew I was making an impulsive decision by marrying a man I’d only known for months, but her loyalty to me was that sound. Not to mention, I’d taken her perceived sage advice seriously. I brought us up here while we were both financially compromised. We had nowhere to go besides to my apartment in Harlem, and that presented another set of issues: Rasul. I couldn’t drop the ball. Not after being so close to financial independence.

  “We’re fine. You’re fine! You have nothing to worry about but taking your meds and relaxing,” I promised. “I swear on my mother’s grave; you’ll never have to worry about food or housing as long as I have breath in my body.”

  After a pregnant pause, she tutted and hissed, “I nuh on yuh tit, Lexi!” and turned her back to me.

  I took that as my dismissal and started toward the garage. Traffic was manageable once again and I made it in on time. My stomach was still in knots, now about the prospect of running into Precious. She’d gotten one off on me yesterday, and it would be difficult to endure her today if she tried again. I wasn’t raised to run from trouble. Yet I only knew one way to handle it. The problem was my method of addressing could land me in jail, fired, divorced, and homeless. I couldn’t risk that, but hadn’t gathered a resolve to avoid it.

  My morning sped by fairly quickly. With the help of Ann, I was able to get an idea of all the services Christ Cares offered. I used that information and came up with my own plan of expanding their programs and strengthening what had already been done, which was little. The case management was a joke. An occasional power bill being paid each year was laughable. There were coat and back-to-school drives that were held annually as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas meals provided; however with the resources the church was sitting on, these were meager offerings.

  By noon, I’d finished wrapping up a call with a contact from the city that was able to fit me in for a meeting this afternoon about making Christ Cares a partner for many of their programs for the underserved in the city. The borough was inundated in case management, and would love to alleviate their workload to improve on their numbers. It was just a matter of beginning the process of making us a viable partner. They wouldn’t just unload their poor on anyone. It would take some time, but we had to get started. I had to get started.

  I started to lock my computer when there was a knock at my door. I glanced up to find a big figure in a three-piece suit, towering with hard eyes. My breath caught in my chest as I straightened in my seat. Ezra sauntered in holding a small brown shopping bag. DiFillippo’s was etched on it. My stomach growled at that recognition. But damn the food. His thick brows, wonderfully manicured beard, and broadness in his suit had me swallowing hard. I fucking liquidated at the sight of Ezra in three-piece suits. I had no idea of the power it had over me, but it held something sensual. I pulled my lips in to hide my thoughts.

  “Afternoon, Alexis,” he rasp
ed, eyes locked on me.

  I checked the time. “Good afternoon, Mr. Carmichael.”

  I miraculously recalled his preference. I didn’t want to fuck this up. It was bad enough that nervous bitterness coated my tongue.

  Ezra placed the bag on my desk. “This is for you to eat and not waste like you did my oatmeal yesterday.” My eyes went wild. I forgot about the oatmeal that was left in the car from yesterday.

  Shit! I have to throw it out.

  “Don’t worry. I discarded it this morning.” There he was again, reading my thoughts. “While I expected a dedicated employee here, I would prefer a well-nourished wife at home.” His eyes squinted in further communication. “Eat,” Ezra ordered just over a whisper.

  I swallowed again. Licking my lips saturated in unexplained anxiety, I nodded barely.

  “Lex.” My body quietly jolted as I peered behind his big frame. Ezra turned to look over his shoulder, too. It was Kim Baker. She referred to me by my preferred name. Religious organizations loved titles; the poor and misfortunate needed ordinary people. “You said you wanted me to come somewhere with you?”

  I emailed her, requesting she take the meetings this afternoon with me. She was the only person on my team who had worked for the city recently and I figured the more familiar faces to them the better.

  My eyes shot up at Ezra as he turned back to me for my response. I glanced over to the DiFillippo’s bag on my desk. It’s funny how before he strolled in here, I had no feelings of hunger. I missed breakfast, but grabbed coffee and had felt satiated until now.

  Kim’s regard bounced between Ezra and me. My eyes faltered as I scraped my bottom lip and pulled the bag closer to me.

  “Yes. If we can meet in the lobby in twenty minutes… I’d like you to come with me down to the city offices for a meeting. Have you eaten?”

  “Not yet,” she answered.

  “Think you can within that timeframe?”

  “Yeah. I brought lunch today.”

  “Cool.” I nodded.

  Kim turned to leave and so did Ezra. Why was he leaving?

  Do you want him to stay?

  I didn’t know, but called for him anyway.

  “Uh… Mr. Carmichael?”

  Ezra stopped quickly yet smoothly and turned toward me, his thick brows hiked.

  I swallowed, my eyes dancing all around again before I forced myself to ‘face’ him. He was my husband after all. We stared at each other for some time. This exchange was different. It wasn’t the usual warring; it was an attempt to understand the other party. Him, asking why I’d stopped him, and me, questioning where we were after last night. I didn’t want a war. I wanted to be on the second day of my employment, grateful for the opportunity and preparing to set RSfALC social services wing right. I wanted to leave for and return from work each day like yesterday; with him anticipating me proudly.

  When I didn’t see a sign of that man in his eyes, I assumed I’d lost the battle and I continued with the bag of food, pulling out aluminum containers.

  “Thanks for coming all the way into the city to bring me lunch,” I muttered.

  I knew he had pushed back his time in the lab more than he’d originally planned. It was a thoughtful gesture. One of many that confused me about who Ezra really was.

  “You’re welcome, Alexis, but I was scheduled to be here anyway. I’m moving in today.” My eyes shot up to him. “We’re clearing out the office to prepare for my new furniture. I plan to be around weekly.”

  My mouth hung open as I processed what he was saying. I wouldn’t be reporting to Precious and Ezra would be around, so no more harassment from her and he’d be in his own office and not hers, as she claimed yesterday.

  That relieved me, lightened my heavy shoulders about facing her again. But when he resumed his exit from my office, I realized he said nothing to cure the unrelenting toil of guilt in my belly.

  Lex

  “And this is Carolyn Seaport. She’s the president of this fine organization!” Mary beamed as she introduced me to yet another significant figure in this ginormous ballroom affair.

  I reached for her hand and noticed immediately her tone was a stark contrast to my ebony. Her shake was light, and hand cold and delicate.

  “Lex, it’s so wonderful to meet you!” she exclaimed to the same degree as my motherin-law. Her ocean blue eyes bouncing with merriment. “Congratulations on your nuptials! And now that Ezra will be taking over, I look forward to getting to know you!” That shrunk my perception of Carolyn’s hospitality—and that of her three cohorts, whose hands I’d just finished shaking.

  I shook that nasty thought from my head. To prepare me for this affair, Ezra made sure to mention I shouldn’t be overly-preoccupied about racism at events of this caliber. He said the only color they recognized was green because it advanced their cause. They didn’t care who it came from.

  “Thanks, Carolyn. Let’s see if Mary passes the torch.” I motioned to the screen at the front of the room where they gave a presentation. “With accomplishments like that, I don’t see her support from Girls Not Brides retiring.” I returned her smile.

  “We’ll see,” she gleamed. “I love that gown, by the way. It’s gorgeous!”

  That made me blush for real. Thank God I was too dark to tell as the group of women moved on from our table, dispersing into the grand ballroom. I glanced down at my lap, admiring the navy blue tube top mermaid gown Elle helped me select during our shopping spree. It was another item Ezra wanted me to get for this event. It had arrived to the house the following day from a JAGMisha fashion club. I’d never heard of it, but liked their online selections.

  I glanced up to find Mary’s toothless grin. She was really a beautiful woman. Ezra had gotten much of his facial bone structure from her, especially in his cheeks. They were high, and thankfully because it allowed me to catch his humor, as rare as it was that he’d express it. She was a tad lighter than his toasted chestnut complexion. Mary was a thin woman, of average height. But something about her appearance tonight stuck out.

  “I’m so happy to have my first outing with you as my daughter-in-love.” She winked at me.

  I wasn’t buying it. I still hadn’t forgotten about discovering her alternative lifestyle earlier this week. How could I? It exposed a weakness in her I would’ve never detected otherwise. Yeah, her husband had a nasty temper I would’ve had to chin check—or have one of the goons from the block do for me when he got out of control. But I didn’t judge her for that the day she left our house shaking from embarrassment because his beef with Ezra that day—that I still didn’t understand. No, it was learning that she knowingly shared her husband with another woman that killed much of the respect I was able to muster for Mary Carmichael.

  I grabbed my water from the table as I rolled my eyes.

  “‘In love’ is rubbing it on thick, ain’t it, Mary?” I murmured as I faced ahead.

  I refused to play in bullshit. Seeing her handled by Marva like that, oddly wounded me.

  “Lex,” she sang, smile unwavering. “There’s lots of ground we have to cover. You don’t know me, even after the Nurses Ministry meeting.”

  I turned into her. “No disrespect, Mary, but after that, I’m not sure I want to. I know I don’t come from much, but at least we have pride. I can’t participate in that lifestyle, neither can I accept it, not even from a nice woman like you.”

  “Are you going to listen while I explain?” Mary adjusted the fine diamonds on her wrists, making a show out of it with her manicured nails splayed on both hands while doing it.

  Mary was behaving fancily. That’s when it hit me. Mary was a damn diva! Tonight she was caped in a mermaid gown herself. The top, at her breasts was a stark white satin cut into a V, dipping slightly into her cleavage. The gown was divided just underneath the breast and transformed into black satin, framing her hourglass figure down to her peep-toe shoes. The light-handed makeup she sported was in good taste and notable allure. Her hair was up in a neat chigno
n, exposing glistening diamonds in her ears, on her neck and wrists. She didn’t wear the modest gold wedding band set she did when I saw her casually, like at lunch in West Milford when she dressed as a quintessential first lady. Tonight, Mary could be a seductive cougar.

  I sat back in my seat and stretched out my arms quickly. “I’m all ears. But if you waste one breath, trying to convince me this lifestyle is for me, I’m walking out of here without parting words.”

  I choked on that last word, my true feelings pushing forward. My life was still off kilter after that wild discovery. It pissed me off so bad, I took it out on my husband prematurely. I almost spit in his face! And although he spoke cordially to me, Ezra still hadn’t laid a hand on me since then. It was similar to how he treated me after I almost hooked off on him the first time he spanked me. That shit tortured me. It fucked with my head how needy I was for not just his touch, but his approval. I got none of it since learning of the fucked up relationship with Mary, Sylvester, and Marva Graham.

  “I love my son, Alexis,” Mary informed as her dashing smile turned into a leer. She was feeling my sass toward her. Good! “My family has been a delicate balance almost from the time my son could speak. Ezra has been a blessing and curse to Sylvester and me. He’s always been an extremely bright boy with unlimited potential. Any sport or social club we enrolled him in, he’d mostly come out as one of the best if not the best. And in school”—she blew through her mouth—“sometimes I thought we did him a disservice with the route we chose for him. Maybe we should’ve sent him away to a boarding school like Sylvester used to always demand. There was nothing Ezra couldn’t grasp, pick apart, and make better. Including my awful marriage to his father. He saw right through us since he was a child.” She smiled, bashfully as she turned away from me in shame. She turned back to me with less confidant eyes than before. “He knew Sylvester had given me nothing but grief and my Ezra.”

  I swallowed hard, fighting back my emotions. Ezra, a young and discerning child? Why did that not surprise me, no matter how much it thrilled me to gain more insight into the man that ruled my universe more than I was willing to admit? Ezra had captured my heart. I could no longer play dumb to the fact.