Crashing Into Destiny

by Rebecca Royce

  He’d included me. I tried to contain the surge of emotion moving through me, but Sterling must have noticed. He rubbed my knee under the table. I smiled at him, loving the contact. We’d been together in the most intimate way possible. It had changed something between us. I could still feel him as though he remained somewhere deep inside of me.

  He’d never let me down. I believed it.

  We all watched a movie about a spaceship adrift in space. The couple on board had been on their way to divorce and changed their minds as they repaired the ship. I was bored, and I kind of thought the others were, too. Sterling held me in his arms and snored lightly in my ear.

  Cash looked up from where he sat on my other side. “He is out. I’ve never seen him conk out during a movie.”

  “That’s what I was saying earlier.” Lewis shook his head. “I need to check him out.”

  Damian waved his hand. “He’s fine. He’s happy. He’s relaxed. Trust me, he’s never been better.”

  “You got your medical degree when?” Lewis threw a book at Damian, who ducked and grinned.

  “Lewis, you’re a doctor. For God’s sake, use your brain. He’s out of it. He’s happy. So am I. Leave it be. Okay?”

  I turned bright red and sunk down further under Sterling’s arm to hide. He readjusted and didn’t wake up.

  “Oh.” Cash grinned. “I get it. Good for you two. Okay. All is well. It’s probably a total adjustment to the system. Hope to know soon.”

  “Aha.” Lewis nodded, turning his attention back to the television. “You’re all supposed to tell me for this reason. Your health is my concern. It would have been a two second conversation we could have had without making Diana cower in embarrassment. Sorry, Doll. All is well.”

  I hoped so.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sterling Whitworth

  About three quarters of the way through the movie, it got more interesting. The wife had conducted an affair. How were they going to get through that kind of betrayal? But the husband loved her. The actor gave a great performance and I was riveted to the screen. Sterling adjusted his position slightly beneath me, and I felt his erection.

  He’d gotten hard. I turned to look at his face, which remained passive in sleep. He breathed evenly. I turned back to the television. He adjusted again, this time making the smallest noise in the back of his throat. He was clearly getting harder. It must be a hell of a dream. But I didn’t want him to have it in the room with all the guys around.

  I touched the side of his face. He remained asleep. Gently, I eased up to his ear to whisper. “Sterling.”

  His lids fluttered and after a second he regarded me with half-asleep, lazy eyes. “Hey, sweet baby.”

  “Think you might be dreaming.”

  Cash shushed me. He must have really liked the movie too. I ignored him, my attention on my current situation with Sterling. Confusion covered his face, and then his eyes widened as he realized of what I spoke. “You’re right.” He bit his bottom lip. “Never had that happen before.”

  “What would you like to do?”

  He sat up slightly and grimaced. “Put your arms around me and block me. I’m going to carry you out of here.” In a louder voice, he continued. “Night guys. I’m snoring, and she wants to go to bed.”

  “Uh-huh.” Damian waved his hand. “Have a good night.”

  Cash smiled. “Are you sure? You seemed like you were really liking the movie.”

  “She’s sure. You can give her a catch up later.” Sterling hauled me up against him. “You’re going to cover me with your body, okay? From here to my room and then to Artemis. I have something I want to get.”

  I did as he asked, and as we left the room, Lewis called after us. “Let our girl get some sleep, please. I don’t want to have to start treating her for exhaustion.”

  “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,” Sterling answered rounding the corner already on the way to his quarters. What did he want to get? I asked him, and he grinned. “My dream created this little … predicament … and gave me plenty of ideas.”

  I snorted, which was so not ladylike, but he smiled even brighter. “Is that so?”

  “Yes.” He kissed my cheek, setting me down. “Thank the universe you woke me up before I started to embarrass myself in my sleep with all of them there. I’d never hear the end of it.”

  He rummaged through his drawers, eventually coming up with a box that he stuck in his bag. “Let’s go.”

  “We can stay here. I don’t have to be in Artemis every night.”

  He smirked in the way that made me want to kiss him. “Sweet baby, I don’t want them hearing us. I plan to make a lot of noise.”

  I needed to give him some truth, even though it was uncomfortable to say. “I’m a little bit sore. From before.”

  His face fell. “Did I hurt you? Too rough? I would never want to cause you pain. Ever.”

  “I think it’s just one of those lose-your-virginity things. Muscles stretching that hadn’t before. You were … perfect.”

  His eyes darted around in their sockets. “Okay, change of plans. We’re still going to have a great time. I’m going to make you feel better.”

  I jumped back into his arms and let him carry me all the way to Artemis. Sterling dropped me down on the bed. He walked into my bathroom and came back grinning. “Your shower will be perfect.”

  “For what?”

  He tugged off his shirt, and my mouth watered. Sterling had muscles on top of muscles. Maybe I wasn’t that sore.

  “Take off your clothes. Meet me in there.” Sterling dropped his pants and underwear before he maneuvered into my bathroom. I stood up, following his directions. I’d stood naked while he drew pictures of me. But I’d been so invested in the moment, feeling flirtatious and sexy. Right now, I was insecure.

  My bathroom wasn’t huge, and Sterling took up most of the shower stall. Still, I was tiny, and for once it would work for my benefit.

  On the sink he had his paint supplies laid out. “What are we doing in here?”

  “I’m going to paint you. Your body. These are watercolors. They’ll wash off as soon as I put the water on, which I will do. I want to paint your body. That’s what I dreamed about. My brush on your body. Can I play, sweet baby?”

  I’d never imagined being painted. “I’m up for whatever, Sterling.”

  “Now that is a dangerous proposition.”

  He turned on the water, letting the warmth beat down on us. I closed my eyes. It felt amazing. Sterling touched me gently with the tip of his brush. Red. He gently caressed my breasts with the color. I hadn’t known how much I would like it, but the intensity of his gaze on me made it all worth it. He saw something in the colors as they travelled down my body, and his erection, which lengthened in front of my eyes, told me how much he enjoyed the show.

  Soon I was covered in all kinds of colors. Purple. Pink. Green. White. They mixed together in a mess at our feet before running down the drain. His breathing quickened, and hearing it made my insides mush.

  “Sterling.” I sucked in my breath. “This is … wow.”

  He dropped his brush. “You’re magical. The most beautiful canvas I could imagine. And you’re mine. If I could capture this for all time, I would. I’m going to make you feel so good, sweet baby.”

  “I want to. But I really do hurt a little bit.”

  Sterling whispered in my ear. “Trust me a little bit more. You already gave your trust to me in a huge way. Just a small extra step.”

  “With my life.” He took the soap from the shelf and started to lather my body, getting the rest of the paint off. His hands on my body were light and gentle. He stopped right over my core, pressing two fingers inside of me. He wasn’t rough, wasn’t hurried. It was like he massaged me from the inside out.

  His erection pushed into my belly. I leaned forward a bit, and he groaned. “Do that again.”

  “I can do better.” I stroked him, long and hard. His eyes closed, but he didn’t stop the beautiful
stroking he did on my bundle of nerves. Sterling had strong, capable hands. His fingers played with my core, and after a few moments I came, hard, seeing lights pass before my eyes. My knees buckled, and Sterling caught me, tugging me against him.

  His own explosion came fast; he cried out my name on a long groan. I held his throbbing cock until the moment ended.

  We breathed together in the shower, the hot water tapping on the ground like a rainfall—or at least what I imagined one would be like.

  After a minute, Sterling scooped me up in his arms. My muscles were languid. He dried us both off and carried me out to bed.

  I spoke to the computer. “Artemis, lights off.”

  The lights dimmed on the ship while he covered us up together. “Love you.”

  I think I replied. I didn’t know. My body had quit functioning. I needed sleep. He threw his arm around me, rolling onto his stomach, his face flat down on the pillow. I held his hand tightly in mine. We must have both fallen asleep.

  Sterling sat up straight, gasping for air. I jolted upright, my hand coming to his back. “Are you okay?”

  “I …” He panted. “Sorry. Bad memory chased me from sleep. Doesn’t happen often. Just sometimes. Sorry, I’ll leave.”

  I shook my head. “No. Don’t go. You don’t have to always be strong.”

  Sterling groaned. “Don’t I?”

  “No.” I kissed his shoulder, the arch of his back, his neck. “You don’t.”

  “Then what do I have to be?” His voice didn’t sound annoyed, merely curious, and it broke my heart.

  “You. Mine.”

  He slid over, pressing himself on top of me. I thought he’d want to make out, to bring on intimacy again, only he didn’t. He kissed me lightly and made no other moves. “Thank you for that. I was on a battlefield. My partner died. Could have been any number of places. I don’t know which. I wanted to get home to you. I couldn’t. Bad dream combined with memories. No fun.”

  “You could be so different based on what I imagine you’ve been through. You’re not. You’re hopeful. I love you.”

  “In my whole life”—he choked on his words—“no one has ever said that to me before you. Please don’t ever take it back.”

  I buried my face into his arm, drawing him down until we held each other again. “I won’t. Not ever.” He was quiet for a bit, but I knew he hadn’t fallen back to sleep. When Sterling slept, he did it hard. His breathing was too light, too even.

  “Tell me something, sweet baby. What do you want? What could I give you that you crave the most in the world?”

  I groaned. “That’s a hard question.”

  “You have an answer.” He kissed my shoulder. “Tell me so I can make it happen.”

  Stroking his back calmed me as much as it did him. “I’m not sure you can.”

  “Try me. If I can’t make it happen, Damian can. He’s amazing at making things happen.”

  I let the silence and the darkness make me brave. “The happiest I’ve ever been was when I took care of my brothers and sisters. I would love children. I’ve never seen that happening, not really. I couldn’t marry politically and bring babies into that mess.”

  Sterling rolled onto his side. “And with us? You wouldn’t want kids?”

  “How could you do it? Evander could come any time. I had to hide when the drone came. What would we do with a baby?”

  Sterling kissed my head. “Here’s how it’ll work. Six months before our contract ends—which is five years from now—Damian will declare me dead to Evander. We have five years to come up with a plausible reason. The other four will return to Evander and be debriefed. Meantime, you and I take Artemis, and we go somewhere safe. We wait for the others. They’ll retire and join us. We’ll have a baby. Live our lives together. I’m not sure what kind of father I’ll be, but you’ll help me.”

  “Just like that, you planned something that might work. How did you do that?” He amazed me.

  “I’m designed to be a strategist.”

  I kissed his chest. “What do you want? What can I give you?”

  “You. For the rest of our lives.” He held me tightly. “Let me make your dream happen for you. I’d love a baby running around. Little boy. He won’t be mine. I can’t imagine actually fathering a kid. He’ll be Cash’s. Or Damian’s. I’ll teach him to shoot.”

  I drifted, halfway between sleep and alertness. “He might be a she.”

  “There aren’t enough bullets.”

  I woke up because the light in the room had changed. Sterling slept deeply in the dead-weight way he did. I suspected I wouldn’t get out without waking him up. I got out of the bed and cleaned off in the bathroom before Sterling opened his lids. He yawned.

  “Damn. I slept hard.”

  I leaned down to kiss him. “Love you.”

  “Good. Love you, too.”

  I changed quickly and made my way to Lewis’ lab. Today was my first day no longer having all-day dates. I’d have one tonight, if Judge was up for it, but I needed to work. Since Judge was only just being roused from his medical ordeal, the best thing I could do was to see to it that whatever he needed to do got done.

  I arrived in the lab just as Lewis got Judge out of the medical machine. He remained asleep, not moving, while Lewis checked his leg. The bone had been reset, and the skin had closed up. Judge made small noises in the back of his throat that sounded like breathy moans.

  Lewis nodded as he checked Judge’s leg. “Looks good, Judge. Can you hear me yet? Your leg is better.”

  I walked up next to him. “Do you have to shout at him?”

  “Judge is hard to put under and hard to wake up. He’ll come to. I’m trying to wake him a bit.”

  I pushed Judge’s hair off his forehead. “He’s had an ordeal. If he wants to sleep a bit more, let him.”

  Lewis kissed my shoulder. “You’re the nicest person on the planet. I want him up so I can discharge him. He hates being in here. Feels like the best favor I can give him.”

  “Di …” Judge didn’t open his eyes but called out my name. “Don’t leave.”

  “I won’t.” I kissed his cheek. “Does he have to wake up here?”

  “His vitals are good. The leg has good reflexes. No, I suppose he can go anywhere. Should I put him in his bed?”

  I thought about it for a moment. “Put him in mine.”

  When Judge was set up and sleeping in my bed, I went to work. The first thing I did was leave him a voice recording on our private line. I let him know where I’d gone and told him I couldn’t wait to see him later.

  They’d gotten a big delivery from Evander, and I was sure the whole thing waited for Judge to wake up and deal with it. The best thing I could do for him was to get the project started. Judge had a system I didn’t find hard to follow. He had labels for his labels. I quickly figured out that, in fact, he’d divided things up based on what room they’d eventually have to be stored in. I tried to discern, based on former labels, what would go where. If I did it wrong, it would take twice the time, but I suspected he wouldn’t yell at me.

  I worked most of the day, skipping lunch, and got everything put into transport boxes. I stood and examined what I’d done. Pride in a job well done filled me, yet I was nowhere near finished if I wanted to be sure Judge had less to do when he felt better.

  Pushing the box that would go to Cash’s lab, I made my way down to where Cash worked with the Infected.

  He looked up when I came in, rushing to help me when he saw what I did. “Hi, Boo.”

  I smiled, wiping my brow. “Hey, Champ.”

  “How goes it?”

  I pointed to the box. “Does Judge put it away for you?”

  “He does, but I’m more than capable of it. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” I watched the Infected in the tank walking around in a circle. “What’s going on with him?”

  Cash put his hand on the glass. “This is patient XXY. He’s actually doing really well. The first one whose
hand I’ve been able to regenerate human tissue on. His vitals hold steady. He is the most successful patient I’ve had since I started this.”

  XXY growled at the glass, and Cash sighed. “He hates me. Well, I don’t know. There’s no indication they have human emotions. He finds me distressful at the very least.”

  “Are you personifying him?”

  He looked at me out of the side of his eye. “If I don’t … I assume he can’t have those emotions … then what am I doing? I’m trying to save him.”

  “Why do you lose so many? Are you experimenting on them?”

  “No, we do everything in labs and holo before I ever try it on the real thing. We lose them to death before we’ve ever touched them. It hurts Lewis a lot. They live with us a lot longer than they do out there. Still, they die.”

  “Then how do they still have so many? Do they have baby Zom-Infected?”

  Cash shook his head. “They regrow. They die. They fall apart. Lost a limb, the limb regenerates into a new person. That’s why Lewis burns them. Stops the regeneration. Puts them to rest.”

  I wanted to say eeww. But I wouldn’t. This was science. I needed to not be queasy.

  “Looking forward to tomorrow. I miss you.”

  I put my arm around his waist. “I started with your equipment so I could see you.”

  We stood there for a while. Eventually, he leaned over and kissed me, slowly. Heat travelled from my feet to my head in seconds. “Hello, by the way.”

  “Hi.” I breathed out. “Going to be hard to concentrate now.”

  He grinned, a self-satisfied smile. “For me, too.”

  That was when I saw it: Cash had clearly gotten over the US machine. His pants pressed out in front of him. “How long?”

  “Two nights.” He kissed my temple. “Hard to wait my turn. Not when I want what’s mine when I want it.”

  Cash was so seriously hot. I leaned against him. “Tomorrow night I’m all yours.”

  XXY pounded on the door, spoiling the moment. Cash exhaled loudly. “See how his hand is human colored again? I just need to figure out how to move it through the rest of his body.”