GHOST (Boston Underworld Book 3)

by A. Zavarelli

  He is pure male.

  It makes me curious all over again. Why he is with me. He could have any woman he wanted. But he does not act that way. There is nothing arrogant about him.

  He is simply a force of calm. A flash of pale blue in the otherwise dark and tumultuous storm of my life.

  I watch him put on his briefs, the muscles of his thighs contracting as he snaps the waist band into place.

  “Tell me what you are thinking,” he says.

  “I was wondering why you didn’t marry Katya.”

  My question makes his brows draw together. I expect evasion. But I don’t receive it.

  “She slept with my brother,” is his honest reply.

  “Nikolai.”

  The jerk of his chin is his answer.

  I digest those words and watch him put on his trousers, followed by another charcoal gray sweater. And then a shoulder holster.

  “Nikolai said that she wouldn’t give this up,” I tell him. “That she wouldn’t give you up.”

  “She has no choice.” Alexei dismisses the thought with a wave of his hand. “She won’t cause trouble.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  He meets my gaze, his words carrying a hint of threat as he speaks. “Because she would die if the truth were revealed. You never betray a Vor.”

  “Do you think that I would betray you?” I ask. “Is that why you didn’t want me speaking to Nikolai?”

  He turns away from me and shrugs into his jacket and flat cap. A sure sign that he is leaving somewhere, which I don’t like.

  “I will provide you with a good life, Talia,” he says quietly. “Anything you wish, it will be yours. You will have my children. You will be happy. But you must never betray me.”

  And there it is.

  He doesn’t trust me. I wonder if he ever will.

  I don’t give him my assurances because I know they would not do any good. Just as his assurances can only placate my worries for mere moments until the memories come back. Replacing everything present with the poisonous past.

  Alexei comes to say goodbye. He sits beside me on the bed, stroking my face in his hands the way he often does. I don’t want him to go.

  “What about Sergei?”

  This time, my question angers him. And he goes cold, his fingers falling away.

  I regret asking.

  “What of Sergei?”

  “Nikolai said to be careful of him too.”

  “Nikolai has a big mouth, and should not be concerning you with these things. He should have come to me.”

  “He said you wouldn’t listen.”

  “And he was right. Everything he has to say is nonsense, Solnyshko. You have nothing to fear. I said I would protect you. So leave the worrying to me, yes?”

  “Okay.”

  “I have to go handle some business,” he tells me. “It might take me a couple days. But I want you in my bed when I return.”

  “Okay,” I say again.

  “Wear something nice for me,” he says, his eyes moving over me as he reaches down to adjust the bulge in his trousers. “Something silk. And black.”

  This time, it is me who reaches up to touch his face. I bring my lips to his, and he returns the sentiment by cupping the back of my head and devouring my mouth with his.

  When he pulls away, my lips are swollen and aching for him all over again.

  “You be a good girl.” He kisses me on the forehead and then moves to the door. “I will return soon.”

  Alexei is gone for three days, instead of two.

  I used my Mac to order a few silk chemises in his requested color. With overnight shipping, they arrived the next day. But that wasn’t the only thing I ordered.

  Magda of course saw the pregnancy tests when she opened the box and inspected the contents before allowing me to have it. And she has already checked in on me three times this morning, her subtlety failing her horribly.

  “Everything alright, Miss Talia?” she asks me as I look up from my book.

  “I haven’t taken the tests yet, Magda,” I answer.

  She frowns. “Maybe you should.”

  I know that I should. But I’m scared.

  “I will wait with you,” she volunteers. “If that helps.”

  I know she isn’t going to let this go. So I give up reading and stand up. Magda is practically hopping from foot to foot while my stomach is churning.

  She takes me by the hand and leads me towards the bathroom. Where I have left the tests laid out and ready.

  “I will wait over here,” she tells me as she sits on her usual chair.

  I grab three of the sticks and go about my business before setting them on the sink and washing my hands. Magda checks her watch, and then she meets my gaze.

  “Why is it so important?” I ask. “Why does he want this…?”

  I leave the words ‘with me’ out of that question, though that’s what I’m really asking.

  “It is the Vory way,” Magda answers. “Marriage and family are very important. This is the tradition. And Alexei is thirty-five now. He is ready to start a family.”

  The rest of the time passes in silence while I process Magda’s words. Alexei is twelve years older than me. But it does not feel that way. It feels as though we are so similar, sometimes. Except where tradition is concerned.

  I never planned to have children of my own.

  I always worried that my mother’s insanity had infected my own mind. Which it clearly has. These are the thoughts that eat at me while the time ticks down, determining my fate.

  I am bound to destroy anything I love.

  “Miss Talia?”

  I blink, and Magda is before me, leading me over to the chair.

  “You’ve gone pale as a sheet,” she says.

  “I can’t be a mother,” I tell her. “I will ruin them. My mind… it’s infected.”

  She kneels before me and takes my hands in hers. “Why? Because your mother’s was?”

  She knows too. I don’t know why this surprises me, but it does.

  “Do you think Alyoshka is infected too?” she asks.

  “What do you mean?”

  She is quiet for a moment, contemplative.

  “Did you know that I have raised him since he was a boy?” she asks.

  I didn’t know that. “Why?”

  “Because his own father rejected him after his illness. He was born as beautiful as he is now and almost taken away by meningitis as a child. But he is a survivor. Like you. His father did not see it that way though. He could only see him as defective when he lost his hearing. And he cast both his mother and Alexei out.”

  My heart longs for him, in this moment. To hug him. To touch him. But I am fascinated by Magda’s words, and desperate for more. She gives them to me.

  “He believes he is destined to destroy everything he touches as well, Miss Talia. But we both know this is not true.”

  “The woman in the bathtub?” I ask.

  Her gaze moves to the floor, pain flickering across her face. “His mother. She blamed him for what happened too. And left him to suffer her actions for all of eternity.”

  “Is that why he picked me?” I ask.

  “He relates to you,” she says. “But he picked you long before he ever knew your story. He picked you from the moment he saw your face in that photo. The one your friend brought here, asking for his help. He saw something in you, Miss Talia. The same thing I see when I look at you too.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “He saw life.” She smiles. “He saw the sun breaking through the dark clouds.”

  I don’t see how that’s possible, but I don’t argue with Magda. Just as Alexei said to me before when I inquired about the name he calls me. Little sun. He told me it makes perfect sense to him.

  Could he really see me that way?

  I don’t know.

  “He is a good man.” Magda pats my hand and rises to her feet. “He will do right by you, Miss Talia. He will do everyt
hing for you. But you must give him time. And be patient.”

  She moves towards the sink and then looks back at me. “Are you ready?”

  I nod. And I am grateful for her presence. I am grateful for this sweet woman who raised Alexei and cares for me too. Even though I don’t deserve it.

  She has been so kind and good to me. And I want to hug her. To thank her. If I knew how.

  She glances at the tests and then brings a trembling hand to her face. When she looks at me, her eyes are brimming with tears and she cannot contain her smile.

  “I knew it,” she says as she holds up one of the tests for me to see. “You have brought life back into this house.”

  34

  Talia

  When Alexei returns, it is late.

  And I am in his bed. Wearing a silk chemise for him as he requested. But he does not join me.

  He sits beside me instead, waking me with a gentle touch to my face.

  “Solnyshko.”

  I move my face into his palm and kiss his fingers.

  And then he’s pulling me from the bed and into his lap, his fingers sliding over the silk material with a groan.

  “You have been waiting for me?”

  I lean into his right ear to answer in the darkness. “Yes.”

  He grabs me around the waist and grinds me down onto his hardening cock beneath the trousers, his hand tangling in my hair.

  “I am going to take you often tonight,” he tells me.

  My response is to kiss his neck, wrapping my arms around him and absorbing everything that is Alexei. His scent, his sounds, his breath on my skin. I want what he promises so darkly.

  My hand moves between us, finding his zipper and pulling it down. I stroke his heated bulge through the cotton of his briefs, and his mouth finds my breast over the silk nightgown. He sucks the material and my flesh into his mouth while I fondle his heavy cock in my hand.

  “This time will be quick,” he tells me as he reaches down to retrieve his cock. “I just need to come inside of you. I want you to smell like me. Only of me.”

  I lean back in his grip when his other palm slides up my thighs, bunching the material of the chemise around my waist and giving him access to what he wants.

  He doesn’t wait or explain any further. He just slides inside of me and fucks me right there on his lap, both of us on the edge of the bed.

  I can’t see his face. I can only hear his voice in the darkness when he tells me how good I feel. How he has missed my body.

  “You won’t come now,” he tells me. “Save it for later. You will need it.”

  I don’t know what that means. But I just hold onto him. My arms wrapped around his neck as he fucks me quick and with only one goal in mind.

  He comes inside of me, his cock pulsing for what feels like minutes as he fills me with his warmth. His voice is calm as his lips move over the column of my throat, and his body is relaxed now.

  He squeezes my ass in his hands and rocks me against his pelvis a few more times, drawing it out even as he softens inside of me.

  “Now, I have something to show you,” he tells me. “And then I will reward you with what you need, my lovely Solnyshko.”

  He pulls out of me and zips himself back up before readjusting my chemise. His come drips down my thigh and he stands me up, wrapping something around me. A silk robe, I realize.

  He takes my hand in his, warm and strong and solid.

  “Come with me.”

  And I do.

  I have never been to this part of the house.

  The basement.

  It is cold and vacant. Stone walls and a simple cement floor. Alexei’s oxfords echo off the cavernous walls while my bare feet absorb the cold of every step beside him.

  His arm is wrapped around me in a protective manner. Warming me and keeping me close by his side. We stop at another steel door. He taps on it and turns to me.

  I cock my head to the side and examine him. He looks odd. A strange mixture of excitement, pride, and nerves on his face.

  “I don’t want you to be afraid, Solnyshko,” he tells me. “Remember, I am here. And I will destroy anyone who ever tries to hurt you. That means in your past as well.”

  His words make me nervous, and I cling to his hand. But he still doesn’t move. His other hand comes up and untangles my hair, opening my face to him.

  “I want you to know the level of my devotion to you,” he states. “I don’t ever want you to question it. The things I have and will continue to do to protect you. To avenge you. They are dark things. But that darkness is my burden to carry, and it always will be.”

  His voice is so impassioned. So filled with strength that there is no question in my mind he means what he says.

  “Show me,” I tell him.

  He reaches for the door, his grip on me firm. Anchoring me to his body as he leads me inside. Until I freeze at the sight before me.

  I’m in shock, I think.

  But even after I blink several times, the image in my eyes does not change.

  It is Dmitri.

  Bound, gagged, and naked on a wooden sawhorse. There is a man behind him. A big man. Huge. His shirt is off, and all he wears is a pair of leather pants. But the room reeks of sex and sweat, and it is obvious what has taken place in here already.

  “Talia,” Alexei’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “This is Boris. He will be seeing to Dmitri during his stay here.”

  His words from the corridor outside make sense to me with shocking clarity. He is avenging me. He is going to make Dmitri suffer for what he did to me.

  I wait for my mind to tell me that this is wrong. Or sick. Or that I shouldn’t feel any enjoyment when I look at Dmitri, knowing what awaits him.

  But none of those things happen.

  I do feel enjoyment. I feel some sense of justice. The scales finally being tipped back in my favor if only a little.

  He is the reason I have no trust. No hope. He is the reason I am dirty and ashamed. Touched by men who had no right to. The reason I struggle to look in the mirror most days. He handed me to Arman on a silver platter and made me wish I was dead every day.

  So it should not surprise me when my lips tilt into a smile, but it does surprise Alexei. And relieves him.

  “Go,” he tells me. “Say whatever you would like to say to him. This is the last time you will ever see his face, Solnyshko.”

  I move to step away, and Alexei hesitates to let me go. And it is only then that I realize he is struggling with this too, in his own way. Knowing that Dmitri has had me before. There is a possessive gleam in his eyes as they move over my body. My body that is filled with his come and his child inside of me, which he does not yet know. My skin, that smells of him. And my face, which no doubt does little to hide my swollen lips from his kisses or tangled hair from our romp.

  He has marked me as his own. As though to rub it in Dmitri’s face.

  As if he would ever care.

  He sold me.

  Ruined me.

  And Alexei is putting me back together. Piece by piece.

  I stretch up on my tiptoes and kiss him on the lips. And then I give him the thing that he needs.

  “Come with me,” I tell him. “I need you with me.”

  My words set his worries free, and he takes charge, leading me in front of Dmitri so that I can meet his eyes. His cold, lifeless eyes.

  They were never that way before. That is how he tricked me. He was so good at making me believe.

  But not now. The horror of his experience is only just beginning, and it is written on his face for me to see. I savor that. I soak it all in, and I smile right at him.

  Even if Boris used him a hundred times over, it would not equal the torment this man has caused me. But it does not matter. Because I have peace, now. And so there is only one thing I have to say to him. The same thing he said to me when I discovered he had sold me.

  I lean forward so that I’m right in his face. My eyes unmistakable in the truth that
I feel nothing for this man anymore.

  “You better get used to it, kitten,” I mock him. “The pain is going to be your new best friend.”

  His eyes plead with me, even though the gag in his mouth prevents him from speaking.

  But there is no mercy to be found here.

  Not with me, and certainly not with Alexei.

  He makes a gesture to Boris, who moves behind Dmitri again. Unzipping his pants as he steps between Dmitri’s spread thighs.

  “Enjoy yourself, Boris,” Alexei tells him. “He’s yours to play with for the week.”

  35

  Alexei

  My beautiful Solnyshko.

  The moment we are back into the corridor, I cannot contain myself.

  I kiss her. And touch her. Pulling her body into mine.

  So brave. So vicious.

  I am harder for her than I have ever been. She knows this. And she climbs up my body and into my arms. So small and vulnerable and mine.

  “You feel safe with me,” I tell her.

  “Yes,” she answers.

  I groan. Because I want her to. Even if it’s wrong. Even if I am defective. She does not see that when she looks up at me. She does not care. She only sees my body around hers, sheltering her. The blood I spill for her. She does not see anything else.

  “I want your pussy wrapped around my cock,” I demand. “Right now.”

  Her arms come around my shoulders and hold me tight as I unzip my pants and she wraps her legs around me. She is soaked for me.

  Soaked in lust and want for me. Soaked in the thrill of Dmitri’s blood which will soon coat my basement floor.

  She is a siren. A filthy angel. But only for me.

  She will only ever have me.

  I tell her so as I thrust up inside of her, possessed by my madness for her. The door behind us is not all the way shut. And I know she can hear Dmitri’s cries.

  She is getting off on it. His pain and her pleasure.

  I finger her and fuck her at the same time. Playing with her tits. Rubbing her body all over me.

  “Come for me,” I tell her. “Come, so that he can hear you being fucked by me. So that he will know who you belong to when he dies.”