by Kline, Sandy
“Look, we have to make an income and a lot of the brothers have criminal records and cannot easily get a job. It’s just far easier to make money other ways. We are working on some legitimate enterprises though and your brother is key to that. We’re starting a management company and trying to get other fighters to train and manage. We just signed a new fighter who has just turned pro. His amateur record was 21-0-3 and since he’s turned pro he’s 6-0-0. If we do this right it’ll go a long way in keeping some of the brothers gainfully employed. If your brother becomes a star we stand to gain huge paychecks right behind his considerable checks. You should ask him about it sometime. He has big plans. We’re even considering getting into making fight videos, you know, documentaries. We’ll film our fighters as they go about their daily lives including training six or seven days a week.”
“So that’s why you patched in my brother.” I reply. “You suddenly saw huge dollar signs and the only way you could control it is if you’re not only his manager but a brother.”
“Absolutely not!” Seth replies as his fist comes crashing down on the table.
Nervous diners look furtively in our direction but there’s no way anyone is actually going to say anything to us or complain to the wait staff.
“I knew your brother when he was just fairly new to martial arts. He was a green belt in some Chinese martial arts and he worked out like crazy. I knew right then that he was gonna be a damn good fighter. He began hanging out more and more and pretty soon your brother and I became pretty good friends. I’m the one who originally vetted him and introduced him to the guys. I don’t know what all you have against your brother but he’s a good man and a valued member of the club and he’s gonna be a famous cage fighter. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”
“Geeze, that almost sounds like-”
“A family.” Seth finishes.
“But I’m Caleb’s real family and there’s nothing I wouldn’t…”
I am incapable of finishing that sentence ‘cause I’m not sure it would be the truth. In fact I’m sure it wouldn’t be true. Ten years ago I would have done anything for Caleb but I just don’t feel the same way. And here’s a bunch of guys who’ve only known my brother for a few years and they’re more committed to him than I am. Seth claims he would do anything for my brother and I believe him one hundred percent and until I can say the same how can I call myself a big sister? I hate to admit it, but I have failed Caleb.
“So why the guns and drugs?” I ask. “And what do you actually do here on this earth that makes your existence here worth the space you take up on this overcrowded green and blue ball? All I see is a bunch of guys who’ll do just about anything to make money and anything to protect that way of making money. Tell me I’m wrong.” I challenge.
“I prefer to show you.” He says. “Have you ever been on a motorcycle?”
“Hell no!”
“Well let me expand your horizons then.”
He gets up and reaches in his pocket before he realizes he doesn’t have any money on him. He opens his mouth to ask and I drop two twenties on the table before he can ask. Not knowing what else to do I follow him out of the restaurant. He leads me outside before he remembers his motorcycle has been retrieved by his brothers and is sitting in his driveway at home.
“Look,” He says. “I wanna take you somewhere on my bike but-”
“It’s at the clubhouse.” I conclude for him.
“Actually one of my brothers brought it back to my house. You think you could take me home?”
I nod my head. “Sure, why not?”
Twenty minutes later he’s astride a giant shiny black beast waiting for me to get on. I take a deep breath and do as he has instructed. I put my left foot on the rear peg, stand up and swing my right leg over the bike where I settle down behind Seth. That wasn’t too bad.
“Reach your arms around my waist and do not let go; ever! Even if we slow down you never know if I’ll have to suddenly hit the gas to avoid an accident or something. I don’t want you landing on your ass somewhere on the road.”
“Yeah I kinda like my ass. I really don’t want to leave half of it on the pavement.”
“Hang on then and don’t let go until we’re parked and the engine is off.”
“Got it.”
I squeeze tighter than is probably necessary but I’m super nervous to be on a motorcycle for the first time. To his credit he eases slowly out of the parking lot of the diner and into the flow of traffic. The first thing I notice is how close the road is to my feet. It’s like…less than a foot and the speed of the ground passing beneath my feet is both frightening and exhilarating at the same time. I can see how when you get over your fear, this could be really fun! I like the feel of the cool wind as it works its way into my jacket and up and down my arms and neck. I’m tempted to lift my helmet’s face mask to let the wind on my face but I remember his admonition and keep my arms fast around his waist. When he pulls onto the freeway I get nervous all over again. We’re probably only going sixty or seventy miles an hour but if looks and feels more like a hundred! After about twenty minutes or so he pulls off the highway and into the town of Dinuba, California. I’m not too familiar with this town and I have no clue as to why we’re here. Almost immediately after he gets on the main surface roads we’re joined by three bikers wearing some other cut. Instantly my adrenaline starts pumping! Oh my god, these guys are going to attack Seth. How the hell could he have brought me here?
I watch as one biker positions himself on our left and another on our right. The other biker rides up front about five feet in front of us and it’s beginning to look like an escort actually. I’m about to breath a huge sigh of relief when I see the expression on the guys face to my right. It’s definitely not friendly. Judging by his face I’d say that we’re being led into an ambush!
We go for another mile or two before we take a left turn and in the process pick up two more escorts; another in front and one just off our back wheel. What the fuck is this? This is not what I expected from our visit this afternoon. Seth keeps on driving for another couple miles before we slow down and he signals that we’re entering the parking lot of a large building that looks like a cross between a church and an old school. Seth takes us right up to the front of the building and as he prepares to park our escorts magically fade away and are soon completely vanished!
I don’t even wait for the bike to stop running before I’m ripping off my helmet (Ouch!) and climbing off his bike.
“What the hell was that?” I bark.
“Just a sign of respect.” He replies calmly.
“Respect? Are you freaking kidding me? I saw the look on one of those dudes’ faces and it wasn’t respect. It was more like I wish I could beat your ass!”
“You can be respected in two ways Kim. People will either respect you out of love, or fear. My brothers in the MC respect me out of love; well mostly. The dudes you saw today, they respect me out of fear and that’s why we were, and are perfectly safe.”
“I don’t know Seth…I saw that guy’s face and I think you’re putting way too much emphasis on respect. I think I saw hate and sometimes that emotion can be a lot stronger than respect.”
“I know my business darlin’ and you got nothing to worry about. If I thought there was even a tiny chance that this could go sideways I wouldn’t have brought you here today or any other day for that matter.”
“So…you brought me to a church?”
“I brought you to my home Kim. This is where I lived from the age of seven till I graduated from high school.”
“Holy crap, this is an orphanage then?”
“Basically yes…it’s an orphanage and this is where a lot of the club’s money ends up.”
Wow… I’m actually beginning to…to think differently about Seth and his club. He leads me up a set of marble steps and to a pair of large double doors. He pushes them open and we walk into a large entrance. Off to both sides are doors, presumably to offices. S
eth opens one and we both walk into a medium sized office with a large desk along one wall. Behind the desk is a woman wearing what I think is a habit. She immediately gets up and comes around her desk where she gives Seth a bear hug.
“And who is your friend?” She asks.
“This is my…friend Kim.”
“So nice to meet you Kim.” She replies. “We weren’t expecting you for another week. Is everything okay Seth?”
“Things are great actually.” He replies. “Is she here?” Seth asks mysteriously.
“We notified her the moment you spotted. One of the sisters will come and get you when she’s ready to receive you.”
“Thank you.” Seth replies.
He takes me to an inner courtyard with a spectacular fountain in the middle. It’s a statue of a lone warrior dressed in leather like armor bearing a circular shield and a short sword. He’s raised his shield as a tiny barrier between himself and some kind of dragon. The cruel beast is situated to where his tail is actually starting to curl around the young man’s waist. The Dragon’s body is in a kind of C shape with his head about a foot from the warrior’s shield. A huge burst of flames shoots from the Dragon’s mouth but the warrior and the shield holds fast as the flames strike it and are repelled.
Looking up I am amazed at the level of detail in the sculpture. The piece is so dynamically fluid I could almost swear it’s actually moving. The sprays of water add to the spectacular imagery and the whole effect is dazzling. I am so completely lost in the view I fail to notice the approach of a very old woman. She is dressed in white robes and her silver long flowing hair gives her this angelic look. Seth immediately gets up and hurries to her side, slipping his arm in hers for support.
“Nana you shouldn’t have come. I would have gone to your bedside.”
She pats his arm in a grandmotherly way and allows herself to be led to the edge of the fountain where they take a seat beside me.
“Kim this is my surrogate grandmother Celia. Nana this is my friend Kim.”
I reach out and shake the frail woman’s hand and nearly wince as my hand is caught in her vice like grip.
“Just a friend?” She asks.
“Yes ma’am.” I reply.
“Well clearly my eyesight is failing me if you two don’t see the same thing I see in your eyes.”
“I don’t understand.” I begin. “What do you mea-”
“It’s just an old woman babbling.” Seth clarifies.
“Yes, he is of course correct.” Celia says.
“Now wait a second.” I object. “She obviously sees something and I want to know what it is.”
Seth actually rolls his eyes and starts to say something but his Nana holds up her hand to forestall any further reaction on his part. I’m glad because I want to hear what she has to say.
“What do you see ma’am?” I ask reverently.
“You’re not going to want to hear this.” She says.
“I don’t care.”
“You call each other just friends, but when you look at Seth your eyes all but are screaming something else entirely. You two make a big show of not looking at each other and not touching one another but the real story is in your eyes.” Then she turns back to Seth. “So what’s the story here Seth?”
“There’s nothing going on here?” I object. I open my mouth to expound on that then I remember who it is I’m talking to; a sweet old woman who must certainly be in her late eighties or early nineties.
This talk about something going on between us is unsettling and I’m afraid, right on the money. There’s just something about him that gets under my skin, only in a good way. If I wasn’t already dating a member of the law enforcement community I might be curious about seeing if something would actually develop between the two of us. The second that thought is out of my mouth so to speak I know I’m full of shit. On one level or another I have been pining away for Seth ever since we first met. Seth chooses to ignore his Nana and asks about her health.
“I don’t have much time left Seth.” She replies.
“You shouldn’t have come out here Nana,” he chides. “You have to save your strength.”
“Oh really?” She replies with a smile. “What is it I am supposed to be saving my strength for?”
“You know what I mean.” He says.
There’s something about the way he talks to her. It’s not what he’s saying, it’s the tone of voice, the utmost reverence he holds for this white haired angel. Clearly she means a great deal to him.
“I don’t know how many trips to the fountain I have left.” She says. “So when it’s an extraordinary beautiful day as this, or I have such an esteemed visitor I make the effort. Pretty soon I won’t be leaving my room regardless.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He says.
“You’ll soon be on your own dear and I won’t be here to keep you grounded. What are you going to do then?” She asks.
“I don’t know. I’ve always depended on your input in my life. You’re the one who has kept me from going off the deep end Nana. You have always reined me in and called me on my shit. No one else ever does that for me.”
“I think maybe there’s someone else ready to take those reigns over.” She says to him. “And I’m certainly ready to hand them over.”
If she’s talking about me she’s got Alzheimer’s disease and it’s really advanced. One thing’s for sure though - for the first time I see Seth in a different light. Right now he’s not the outlaw biker I know. This is a completely different side to him. I guess what they say is true. Every person has the capability for evil and good and it’s which side we choose that defines us. There’s something else I am noticing. Despite Seth’s amazing good looks, he’s always had this hardness about him. It’s not only the way he looks or carries himself, but it’s just this whole…vibe, if you will, that screams this is a hard man. But the longer the two of them converse, I can see the steel edges of the man soften. The sharp corners of his personality begin to ware down and take on a softer edge. Not only is his voice different, it’s the way he’s holding himself. Anywhere else and he looks like a panther ready to pounce. He’s a man that is impossible to sneak up on and he’s always ready for a fight; just like the animal in the wild. But sitting here with his Nana he has softened to a point he almost has this boyish look about him. His mannerisms have softened and he doesn’t move like he’s about to attack. Maybe some of it has to do with the place we’re at. In here is probably the only place in the whole world where he feels safe. But I know that’s not all of it. I get the idea that this is the woman who raised him. Maybe he didn’t have the male influence in his home just like my brother didn’t either. I think everyone who joins a motorcycle club, an outlaw one especially, come for a lot of the same reasons. It’s what helps them bond so closely. They’re all peas of the same pod so to speak.
We remain talking for a surprising amount of time but when Celia begins to fade Seth immediately cuts off the conversation and turns it towards one of getting her back into bed. The way he dotes on her is so…so different. I would never have expected that from a biker like him.
The rest of the afternoon he’s strangely quiet and barely says a word on the ride home. I decide to respect his silence and just let him drop me off without pushing for information that I’m dying to get. I really want to know how it was growing up. Does he have any brothers or sisters? Does he have any living relatives that he still is in contact with? And I just want to know more about the person he holds most dear; but all that can wait. For now I’ll just go to my home and he to his.
A half hour later we pull back into his driveway and park. I have to say, the ride was exhilarating! I’m not saying I’m going to go out and buy myself a motorcycle but it’s something to think about.
His house is actually a nice place. When we came to get his bike I really didn’t pay much attention, but I am now. Without a word he gets off his bike and goes up to his front door and unlocks it. Then he j
ust walks in without so much as inviting me or asking me or telling me. He just assumes that I’ll want to come in. He’s right of course but he doesn’t need to know that. I set the helmet I was wearing on the seat of his bike and follow him into the house.
Chapter Ten
Revelations
I wonder what he thinks is going to happen and if he thinks I’ll just hop in bed with him just because his Nana said we have eyes for each other. The longer the silence between us the more ticked off I get until finally I can’t hold it in any longer.
“So I suppose I’m supposed to just take off my clothes now, is that it?” I ask.
“What?” He spins around and looks at me. “What are you talking about?”
“I-I just thought t-that since…” I can’t finish my own sentence. I just sound too lame.
“Hey just ‘cause my Nana endorses you doesn’t mean we’re good for each other.”
“At least we’re on the same page.” I reply. “If you didn’t think you were gonna get laid, why did you bring me here?”
“I wanted to show you something.”
“Oh…”
He walks over to a bookshelf and starts rooting around for something. As he looks for whatever it is he’s looking for I visually inspect his house. He must have a maid. No single guy would keep a house this clean. So much of this guy screams outlaw biker and so much screams…I don’t know something else. He just doesn’t completely fit the picture of a biker; especially an outlaw one. On his coffee table he has a smattering of newspapers and magazines, just what you’d expect in your typical middle class home. Then it hits me. The place doesn’t look lived in. Glancing in the kitchen and everything looks new. There’s no wear and tear that I can see. No dishes in the sink or the dish drainer. Even the newspapers and magazines are carefully situated on the table. The more I think about it the more I’m starting to believe he doesn’t even live here. I’m guessing he crashes at the clubhouse or biker compound; whatever it is they have.
