A Love Like Fire: High Fantasy M/M Romance (Juxtan Book 1)

by Tricia Owens

  “Fire!” Hadrian screamed.

  Gavedon was as stunned as he, and nearly too late to dive out of the way of the stream of flames that Hadrian shot at him. Nearly singed, he stared at Hadrian in fury.

  “How dare you turn magick on me!”

  Panic shook Hadrian’s knees. He opened his mouth to apologize—

  “Get him! He attacked The One!”

  Order members raced across the grass.

  Hadrian looked around him, realizing that he had become vulnerable. He stood out in the open, with the castle ahead of him and the beach and dock behind him. It was no place to defend himself.

  Understanding that his world had changed for the worse, Hadrian broke for the forest.

  ~~~~~

  Gavedon watched another member of the Order collapse in a storm of flames to join those who had fallen before him. Cries of outrage and horror echoed around the sorcerer's ears, but he paid his followers little mind. His eyes were for his son, who stood at the edges of the trees, facing off against them as though he believed he could defeat them all.

  The forest was aflame. The stench of burning flesh and cloth hung thick in the black smoke pressing down from above. It was like Rhiad all over again, but Gavedon intended that he be the only one who walked away from the carnage this time.

  "Hadrian," he called out, watching the pale face of his son turn in his direction. Gavedon noted dispassionately that Hadrian looked awful: soot and tears streaked his cheeks and his clothing was ripped and smoking from the battle with his latest combatant. "You won’t win this, Hadrian. You can’t defeat them all."

  "I don't want to defeat them!" Hadrian cried. He swung his arm wildly to encompass the men and women of the Order of the White Shard who had gathered behind Gavedon. "This has nothing to do with any of them. My issue is with you!"

  "We can’t take back what we did at Rhiad,” Gavedon told him. “We must move on, Hadrian. We can do nothing else. Your hands are as bloody as mine."

  Hadrian nearly crumpled, his grief visible in every line of his body. "I know," he sobbed. "Gods, I know..."

  From the corner of his eye, Gavedon saw a white robed figure move forward aggressively.

  "Die, you traitorous bastard!" the Order member screamed.

  The man raised a hand, calling forth energy. The energy sailed toward Hadrian like a thrown ball of light. Hadrian staggered back, weary after facing off against nine other sorcerers before him. But the energy he pulled up to ward off the attack left Gavedon breathless. The old man was right, Gavedon thought, watching his son with perverse pride as Hadrian sent yet another member of the Order to an early grave. Hadrian is as powerful as foreseen.

  “Gods, help us."

  Gavedon turned to look at the woman who had moaned so forlornly. It was one of his favorites, Benta, whom Gavedon had taken to bed many times. Benta's streaming red-gold hair looked afire as the flames from Hadrian's destruction lit up the island.

  "By the gods, Gavedon, how has it come to this?" Benta whispered, pressing her hands to her cheeks as she glared hatefully at Hadrian. "He is your son. How could he betray us like this? How could he―" she sobbed once, "―how could he murder the others this way?"

  Gavedon studied Hadrian, reading all the signs in that young, trembling body that told him Hadrian was near the end of his strength.

  "It will be over soon," he said. He stepped forward and watched familiar gray eyes swing to him, tiredly. "You have no sense of loyalty, Hadrian. There were many you killed here who loved you."

  "All of it lies," Hadrian whispered accusingly. "You were the betrayer, not I."

  His eyes lost their focus, pain glazing their depths. Gavedon looked on in amusement, wondering if Hadrian was thinking of his mercenary lover who now lay dead within the smoking ruins of Rhiad.

  "I should have stopped you before," Hadrian whispered, his voice cracking. "I saw it. I saw what would happen and yet I did nothing."

  Gavedon snorted. "You saw the truth and you accepted it. You recognized that blood is more important than anything else in this world. Why are you forgetting that now?" He held out his hand. "Deep within you, I know you are a good son, Hadrian."

  Hadrian swayed toward him like a flame blown by a gust of wind. "Don't," he choked abruptly, stiffening in resolve. "Just don't! What you made me do no father should do to a son!"

  Ah, Hadrian, can't you understand that there must be casualties in this war we wage?

  Gavedon's eyes slid to the side, to the figure that stood slightly apart from the other surviving members. Midagon returned Gavedon's regard blankly, not a single emotion betraying his thoughts. Since Gavedon had taken his magick from him, the former seer had become quiet and withdrawn. That was fine with Gavedon. The last thing he needed was a vengeful enemy within his own castle.

  Sometimes however, such as now, Gavedon questioned Midagon’s passivity. He knew Midagon held some measure of resentment toward him. He wondered how much. Well, if there was a time for Midagon to turn against him, now would be it. Hadrian was the only man who would ever confront the One so recklessly.

  But Midagon did nothing and he said nothing, watching the battle between father and son without so much as a twitch of the eye. The former seer did not appear to be fazed by Hadrian's tears, though in an indirect way, Midagon was responsible for them.

  "You made me do those awful things and I can't let that go!" Hadrian shouted. "That can’t go unpunished, no matter if you are―who you are."

  He had been about to refer to Gavedon as his father. The correction made the elder ni Leyanon smile.

  He sent a tendril of energy whipping toward Hadrian, who brought his arm up, blocking the magickal attack, though not without effort. Hadrian swayed where he stood, and his gaze drifted out of focus.

  "You're tired, Hadrian. How long do you think you can stand up to me?" Gavedon tilted his head. "You've never felt the full effects of my power."

  He had given up much in trying to mold Hadrian into the heir he wanted. Now that he had so obviously failed, there was a price to be paid.

  No guilt.

  No mercy.

  No enemies.

  “Let us finish this.”

  ~~~~~

  Hadrian watched warily as his father stepped ahead of the surviving members of the Order. Relief warred with trepidation. He hadn’t wanted to fight any of the other members, but they had attacked, and so he’d defended himself. Now, he would face the strongest of them all.

  If only he weren't so tired.

  He had used his body as a conduit for energy in order to fight the other sorcerers. He felt hollowed out, as though someone had used a burning spoon to scrape out his insides. He had never used so much magick before. It hurt. It made his bones ache. His flesh buzzed and he was afraid to touch it for fear the skin would flake and blow away. To magick again would be torture. He couldn't do it. He had nothing left.

  But he must.

  Exhausted in body and spirit, Hadrian did his best to focus as he felt the air begin to vibrate as Gavedon drew energy to him. Deep down, he hoped his father would change his mind. The child within him hoped that love would stay Gavedon’s hand.

  Hadrian heard a noise and twisted just in time to duck the uprooted tree that hurtled straight for his head.

  His choked off sob of devastation was unheard above the sound of the tree crashing into the ground and rolling. Gavedon had made his choice: the Order over his son.

  Weeping silently, Hadrian reached for energy, gathering it clumsily the way an old man gathered an armful of leaves. He felt the strands slipping out of his grasp. He lost more energy than he pulled. He could do nothing about it. He was too tired to grab after them. Using what he could, he formed fire and sent it in a wave of yellow and gold toward Gavedon.

  For a moment, the light illuminated his father's face much as it had the faces of the mercenaries back in Rhiad. But unlike those whom Hadrian had murdered, Gavedon did not fall, screaming, beneath Hadrian's attack. He deflected the f
ire so that it streamed in a whistling arc towards the side of the castle, crawling up the stone.

  "I’m unsurprised that it’s come to this," Gavedon said mildly.

  Hadrian shut his eyes as dizziness swept him.

  "Since you were a child, your heart selfishly held room only for yourself. Thank the gods your mother didn’t live to see what you’ve become. Patricide is a truly awful crime."

  Hadrian clenched his lids tighter. "I never wanted this," he repeated, opening his eyes so he wouldn't have to dwell upon the images of a burning city. "I never wanted it! But I swear to you that I will face it. If you won't join me in surrendering to the justice of the Council, then I will end this. I will end this right now. "

  "They have no say over anything that I do!" Gavedon replied with a sudden show of emotion. "How dare you! You and they are powerless to stop me. You live by my grace alone!"

  "You won’t submit to the Council?" Hadrian asked one final time, already knowing the answer, understanding that his proud, proud father would never admit to fault.

  Gavedon called energy as he snarled, "I would rather die."

  With a hoarse shout, Hadrian pulled for his own magick.

  Gavedon's magick reached Hadrian first, and though he managed to throw up a shield of power, the force of the energy blasted Hadrian backwards through the air. He hit the ground hard and slid as his chest heaved for the breath that had been knocked from his lungs.

  "You stand no chance against me," Gavedon declared as he again pulled energy to him. As he advanced on Hadrian, the air shimmered around him like an iridescent curtain. The castle and the remaining members of the Order blurred.

  "You’re weak and untrained." A look of satisfaction came over Gavedon's face. "And I made you that way. I knew all along that you would betray me. You’re nothing but a traitor, Hadrian. The lowest of the low. And I’ll destroy you as one, turning your body to ash so that it no longer sullies my home."

  Hadrian understood that this had become a battle to the death, but hearing his father speak such words so casually―so triumphantly―broke the last shred of hope he had held that somewhere inside, however deep, his father loved him. Anguish bubbled up from his throat tearing forth in a wracking sob.

  He found the energy to surge to his feet and cry, "If there is anyone who deserves to be betrayed, it’s you! I wish I were never born to you. I wish I didn't carry your name or your blood because both have tainted me!"

  Gavedon's eyes widened. With a roar, he hurled magick at Hadrian. Hadrian pulled uselessly at thin threads of energy when in truth he needed ropes of it. Torrents of it. The shield he threw up in defense was flimsy; Gavedon's magick smashed through it and drilled into Hadrian with the force of an ogre's fist.

  The weight of the attack dashed him to the ground again, energy crackling through his nerve endings like vicious lightning, making him moan from the pain.

  Drenched in fear sweat, his limbs like jelly, he tried to climb to his feet. He could see his father advancing on him. He could feel the energy gathering in the air, making his heart beat madly. He had never seen Gavedon pulling such immense amounts of energy before. He wished he weren't seeing it now.

  He managed to rise to his knees only for the next blast of magickal energy to strike him in the chest. He cried out and went sailing backwards through the air. His momentum carried him across the rocky ground, driving him into the soil where his shoulders gouged a trench in the dirt and leaves.

  Once his body skidded to a halt, Hadrian lay groaning in agony. His vision blurred. He could barely draw breath. A word slipped past his lips against his will: "Father..."

  But entreaty was to no avail. Energy pounced upon him like a beast. Hadrian screamed and his spine arched off the ground as fire coursed through his veins. The power came in pulses, each more painful than the last. Hadrian hadn't known energy could hurt like this.

  He hadn't known his father could make it hurt like this.

  The pain built; layer upon layer of it. Hadrian suffered as though he were aflame. His skin sizzled. His eyes seemed to boil in their sockets. He burned from the inside, his blood carrying acid to every inch of his body. He screamed and he screamed as his heels kicked the earth and his fingers clawed at stone.

  Gavedon could have killed him outright, but he chose not to. It filled Hadrian with fury.

  There was no source of magickal energy left to pull from. He’d already tapped dry the nodes of power on the island. But what if he became his father’s son? What if he stopped behaving like a mage and acted like a sorcerer of the Order, pulling energy directly from Life, disrupting nature the way the Council of Elders forbid?

  What did one more crime matter in the face of all that he’d already committed?

  He shut his eyes against the agony of being burned alive from the inside. He concentrated and reached for the energy of Life. He found a few strings of energy but not enough to make a difference. He needed more.

  So he pulled.

  Life resisted.

  He pulled again.

  There was nothing.

  Hadrian's hair began to smoke. He pulled at Life again, putting his soul behind the effort—

  On a magickal plane, he glimpsed a sparkle of energy in the heart of a sapling.

  Desperate, he broke the laws of the land. He reached into that tree and seized all of its energy. Once he had it, glowing in his hand like a beating heart, he realized he could see the energy throbbing within every tree on Shard's Point. He could see the energy pulsing through the veins of the leaves. He could feel the throb of energy in the soil. The sound of Life's heartbeat was so powerful it was deafening.

  He gasped and sat upright as he pulled all of that energy into him. It was like being reborn. Greedily, he seized everything within reach. With every hungry gulp of new energy his body sang with a pleasure that eclipsed the pain.

  He leaped to his feet, eyes wide and his body trembling with ecstasy. His heart pounded out of exhilaration and pleasure. His sex was stiff the way it had been when he was with Caledon. Hadrian was alive with that same lustful feeling. He was powerful! He could change the world with this power. He could change history!

  "All this time," he whispered accusingly, his eyes finding a stunned Gavedon standing before him. "All this time, you kept this from me. All this power was always here, and you denied it to me."

  Gavedon took a step backwards. "How can you―"

  "Because I’m a sorcerer!" Hadrian screamed at him, his voice carrying across the island like the booming shout of a giant. "I’m a sorcerer, not the useless, worthless thing you convinced me that I am. I will destroy you with what I can do! I will prove to you that I am something!"

  Hadrian angrily formed energy―the largest coalescence of energy he had ever seen―and hurled it at his father. Gavedon immediately threw up a shield, deflecting it, so Hadrian pulled more energy and made this ball even larger than the first. It hit Gavedon's shield and made it tremble.

  Behind the shimmer of magick Hadrian saw his father's face begin to reflect a mortal fear.

  Fear was good. Fear felt good. Laughing triumphantly, Hadrian pulled from everything around him. He stripped the trees nearest him, uncaring as they shriveled and died as he stole their life energy. He pulled from the soil, and―oh, gods!―there was so much energy to be had there!

  As he discovered how unlimited this power was, Hadrian couldn't stop himself from reaching for all of it. He had never felt so glorious, so powerful, so completely in control of his life. More and more energy flowed into him, drenching him like a magickal waterfall. He laughed deliriously. He threw back his head and called for more. For once, he, Hadrian ni Leyanon, was the one with all the power. He would never be weak again. And with that realization came anger.

  He sought Gavedon through the shimmering haze of the energy amassing to him. Hatred of a depth Hadrian didn't know he could feel rushed over him.

  "Why did you treat me differently?" he demanded. "Why didn't you treat me like you
r son?!"

  "Hadrian," Gavedon gasped, staggering backwards. "You can’t control what you’ve called. Don’t be a fool! Release that energy!"

  Hadrian's laughed bitterly. "I'll release it. On you!"

  Feeling possessed, Hadrian drew more and more power, raping the forest of its energy. When the trees could give him no more, he pulled from the earth and from the bushes and flowers. The ground shuddered beneath his feet. Hadrian pulled with growing excitement, eager to see if there was a limit to how much power he could make his own. Could he possess the power of the world? Could he become omnipotent? No one would be able to hurt him. No one could hurt the ones he loved. He could save Caledon. With this much power, surely there was a way to bring the mercenary back―

  "Hadrian, you fool!"

  "Shut up!" he screamed back, though now the air was opaque with the tremendous amounts of energy he had gathered. He could no longer see his father or the Order. "Shut up! You deserve this. You deserve this for what you did! For killing my―my―"

  He couldn't speak the words. And in truth Hadrian didn't know what to call Caledon. His lover? His love? His hope? All he knew was that Gavedon had destroyed the one goodness Hadrian had ever known.

  He could no longer see, he could no longer think. He had become the magick and the pressure was so great he yearned to explode in a conflagration of revenge and grief.

  Finally, he unleashed that power upon Gavedon. And as he did so, Hadrian heard an inhuman voice within his head shriek, Taker of Life!

  The forest detonated around him.

  His ear drums threatened to burst. Just as quickly, the air became a vacuum, swallowing all sound. The sky went blindingly white, searing Hadrian's eyes. He cried out and threw a hand over his face. A great pressure built in the air before it swatted him to the earth. Heat seared him. The ground shifted and groaned beneath him. The unearthly voice that had been in his head faded to a mournful wail: Taker of Life. Taker of Life.

  He didn't know what that meant.

  If Time stopped, he did not know. Some time later, he opened his eyes again.