One Little Secret

by Eliza Lentzski

  “Sounds cute,” I remarked.

  I wasn’t really into kids, but I also wasn’t against them. Indifferent would be the word. As long as they didn’t scream through dinner at a restaurant where I was or an airplane I was on, we were cool.

  Our food orders arrived, and I watched Julia poke at her plate of enchiladas. She’d barely eaten anything since we’d sat down. Even the complimentary chips and salsa on the table had been neglected.

  “Is your dinner okay?” I worried aloud. “Is it spicy enough? Too spicy? I can ask them to take it back.”

  Julia looked up sharply from her meal. “Stop trying to make everything perfect, Cassidy.”

  I opened my mouth. “I’m not,” I started to protest. “I’m—.”

  “You’re feeling self-conscious about the timing of our time apart,” she interjected. “I didn’t run away to Duluth to get away from you. I didn’t extend my stay to avoid coming home to you. If anything, I cut short my trip to Embarrass because I’d been away from you for too long.”

  I choked on the lump in my throat. “Oh. Really?” I squeaked.

  “You have two options,” she calmly continued. “You can continue to insist we celebrate my winning in court with guacamole and chimichangas or you can take me home and ravage me until I’m begging you to stop.” She leaned back in her chair. “It’s your choice, dear.”

  My hand went in the air. “Check please.”

  + + +

  A giddy, youthful feeling radiated from my chest to the point of explosion. I practically pulled Julia down the street in the direction of the apartment. Her stilettoed feet struggled to keep up with my ambitious pace. We rushed past the doorman and onto the elevator. I silently cursed our luck that we didn’t live on the ground floor.

  My eagerness spilled out while Julia rummaged through her purse for the front door key. I was like a sprinter out of the blocks the moment I heard the locking mechanism spring free. I couldn’t wait any longer. I scooped Julia off her feet and out of her heels. I tossed her over my shoulder in a fireman’s lift and traveled down the hallway as fast as my legs could carry me.

  I indelicately dumped Julia onto the center of the bed, amongst her organized clothes I had insisted could wait until later.

  “My piles!” she protested.

  With one long swoop of my arm, I eliminated the distraction. Her carefully separated laundry piles toppled to the floor in an unceremonious heap.

  I licked my lips, knowing I would be tasting her on them later. “Lose the pants,” I husked.

  Julia hadn’t bothered to change out of her court outfit from earlier in the day, or more accurately, I hadn’t given her the opportunity to change before dinner. I needed her linen pants and blouse on the floor with the rest of her clothes. Julia, thankfully, was of the same mindset. This was no striptease performance. This was efficient desperation.

  She lifted her backside off of the bed and her fingers released the top button of her pants. I watched with growing anticipation as she pulled the zipper down. She peeled the front panels apart to reveal satin beige underwear, nearly the color of her skin. It gave the impression of not wearing underwear at all, but I was going to be all too happy to help her remove her underwear in time.

  She wiggled the dark pants past her hips. Her hipbones canted towards the ceiling. They jutted out just slightly from the smooth panel of her abdomen. The pants traveled lower still, past her thighs, her knees, her calves, her ankles. Finally, she removed them entirely.

  A peculiar smile formed on my lips. “Dry-clean only?”

  Her features darkened and she threw the pants to the floor, tidy piles be damned. She was always so careful, always so precise. I loved these moments when she decided to color outside the lines.

  Without having to be asked, she started on the buttons of her pressed Oxford shirt. Each button gave way to the next until the front of her shirt was completely open.

  I watched the erratic rise and fall of her breasts beneath her beige lace bra. Her normally impeccable hair was slightly tussled.

  “Will you hurry up and fuck me, Miss Miller?”

  The time for such formalities were long gone, but I couldn’t deny how my insides clenched when she called me by a title. I was certain she knew that about me, too, which explained her continual usage.

  “I hadn’t realized we were on a timetable,” I quipped. “Do you have someplace to be?”

  “Yes. Between your legs,” she said flippantly. “But only if you’re efficient on your end.”

  I swallowed hard. “Yes, ma’am.”

  I quickly yanked my clothes off and joined her in bed.

  I neglected her bra and breasts for the moment, knowing there would be time for them later. I kissed and licked down the center of her abdomen. As much as I wanted to tease her until I had her pleading for release, I knew we both needed this. Time apart had been a challenge, and we’d been on unsteady footing when she’d left. The phone sex had been a welcomed reconnection, but nothing compared to the real thing. We needed a reboot moment. I needed to wipe the slate clean.

  I curled my fingers under the waistband of her underwear. She lifted her backside off of the mattress to help me shed the satin and lace barrier.

  I lay on my stomach and positioned myself between her parted thighs. I didn’t immediately dive in; I pressed soft kisses to either side of her inner thighs. Her skin was impossibly soft, putting our luxury high thread count sheets to shame. Egyptian cotton had nothing on her.

  I flattened my tongue and licked the length of her slit, up to her slightly protruding clit. Her ready arousal had me groaning at her taste. Julia’s head tilted back, and her painted lips parted in silent praise.

  I captured her clit in my mouth, and the jerking of her hips practically bucked me off the bed. I held tight to her upper thighs as I sucked on the bundle of nerves, determined to see this ride through. I flicked the sensitive nub back and forth with the tip of my tongue.

  I heard her groan when I sank my tongue into her depths. I plunged as deep as I could reach while my nose bumped and slid against her pulsing clit. Julia’s thighs pressed hotly against my ears.

  Needy fingers gripped my hair. “Up here,” she gasped. “I need to be kissing you.”

  I was happy to oblige.

  My lips and tongue were coated with her juices, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her hands rounded to my backside and squeezed. Her tongue battled with mine, neither of us wanting to give in, neither of us wanting to be topped.

  Her hand went between my legs, and I moaned into her open mouth. She trapped my clit between two fingers and repeatedly pinched and released the fleshy nub. She stroked the bundle of nerves up and down. It was rough and inelegant, and it was going to make me cum.

  “Fuck me, Cassidy.” She bit down on the top of my shoulder and my eyes rolled back. “Fuck me with your fingers.”

  I slid one finger and then two into her waiting pussy.

  “Oh, God, yes.” Her voice cracked on the praise.

  She released my clit and I felt her fingers fill me. She didn’t give me time to adjust before she began to dip in and out. I concentrated first on the feeling of her fingers roughly moving between my thighs before I remembered her own needs. I curled my fingers and slid into her to the second knuckle.

  “Harder, Cassidy,” she commanded me.

  I pulled my fingers out and plunged back in. My knuckles slammed against her pelvic bone.

  “Harder,” she breathed.

  Her fingers slipped out of me, but I no longer cared about my own orgasm. I was determined to get her off.

  Her hands curled around my shoulders; her short nails bit into my skin. I could mentally picture the half-moon divots she was creating. Her breath hitched in my ear each time I bottomed out.

  I sat up on my knees and held her down with my free hand. I pressed my palm firm against her breast plate, pinning her to the mattress. My hand was a blur between her thighs.

  Julia’s eyes were screwed
shut. Her mouth was open, yet she made no sound.

  “Look at me, baby.”

  Her eyes immediately flipped open and her dark stare locked with mine. She silently challenged me with an intense gaze. Can you do it? she seemed to taunt. Can you make me cum with only your fingers?

  The rhythmic sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the bedroom. My knuckles felt raw from continually striking against her pelvic bone. We would both be feeling this tomorrow.

  “Harder. Harder, Cassidy.” Her encouragement bordered on desperate. “Fuck me hard.”

  Her hips and backside bounced off the mattress to keep pace with my relentless fingers. “Don’t you fucking stop,” she warned me.

  I could feel the sweat starting to build a thin layer on my skin. The dampness dribbled down the small of my back. The sweat from my brow started to sting my eyes.

  “I’m close,” she sharply gasped.

  I grunted and refocused my efforts. I rammed into her while wildly pawing at her tightened nipples with my free hand. I remembered her words from phone sex: pinching and pulling, just on the other side of pain.

  “Fuck,” she suddenly bit out. “I’m cumming! Baby, I’m cumming!” she cried.

  Even with her verbal assurances, I continued to fuck her. I thrust between her splayed thighs over and over again until her fingers curled around my wrist, forcing me to stop.

  I flopped onto my back with an exhausted grunt. My right bicep and forearm were screaming; I might have even pulled something.

  “Damn, baby. I gotta stop skipping arm-day at the gym if you like it like that.”

  I turned my head to appraise her when I didn’t get an immediate response. Her hands were covering her face.

  “Babe?” I questioned.

  She still didn’t respond. Her hands continued to hide her face. I heard the sharp intake of air and observed how her body shuddered.

  “Babe, hey,” I hushed. “Baby, are you okay?” I sat up and cupped my palm over her shoulder. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

  When she finally dropped her hands, I could see her tear stained cheeks. “No. No. I’m fine. I’m fine,” she insisted. She made a noise as if to shake away the emotions. “I’m more than fine.”

  “Are you sure?” I desperately needed extra confirmation.

  “Uh huh,” she verified, wiping at her eyes. “It just hit me, you know?”

  “So they’re good tears?” My lips formed a crooked grin.

  She gave me a watery smile in return. “Very good tears.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  You guys still coming tonight?

  My phone chirped with a new text message from my friend, Brent.

  You bet, I responded. Just waiting for Julia to get home from work.

  Hurry up! came his typed reply. This beer isn’t going to drink itself!

  I followed up Brent’s text with one of my own: Have you left work yet? Where are you?

  I stared at my phone, but received no response from Julia.

  Since returning from Duluth, Julia’s workdays had been getting longer and her time with me was getting shorter. We both had stressful careers, and it was easy to let those jobs completely take over our time. It was one of the reasons I was really looking forward to Brent’s Halloween party, not just for the opportunity to see my friends, many of whom I hadn’t seen in a while, but to also spend some quality time with Julia.

  My knee bounced anxiously as I watched the hands of Julia’s grandfather clock continue to move.

  I heard a key in the front lock, followed by the apartment door opening. Julia’s heels clicked on the marble tile in the entryway.

  “I’m home,” she called out. “I just got your text. I met late with a client and then traffic was murder. And I had to go to two stores before I could find any candy,” she complained. “Who sells out of candy on Halloween night?”

  Julia appeared in the archway of the living room where I continued to sit on the couch. Her work bag hung from one shoulder, and her hands were filled with plastic convenience store bags.

  “Did you forget about tonight?” I asked.

  Julia paused in the hallway. She blinked and shook her head. “Am I forgetting a month-a-versary or something?”

  To be honest, I had no idea when we considered the start of our relationship. The first time we’d met? The first time we’d had sex? Our first official date? The pacing and chronological order of our relationship ‘firsts’ had been anything but orthodox.

  “No, Brent’s party, remember?”

  “Oh. That,” she said, her tone flat. “I’m not going.”

  I hopped up from the couch and followed her down the hallway towards the back of the apartment. “What? But it’s tradition!” I protested.

  Julia frowned at my reaction. “I hadn’t realized it was as serious as that. I was really looking forward to relaxing and handing out candy here. I never got trick-or-treaters in Embarrass,” she seemed to pout. “I lived too far out of town.”

  “Plus, their parents were probably scared of you,” I quipped.

  She curled her lip, but offered no words in self-defense, most likely because I was right.

  My colleague on the Embarrass police force, David Addams, had once referred to Julia as a pitbull, and Grace Kelly Donovan had dubbed her the Ice Queen. Julia’s sharp edges had softened some since moving away from her hometown to the Twin Cities, but she still exuded a confidence and class that could come across as haughty or unapproachable.

  “We live in an apartment complex, babe; you’re not gonna get trick-or-treaters here. Please come with me?” I wasn’t too proud to beg.

  “I’ve had a full day of work, Cassidy,” Julia sighed with annoyance. “I have so much catching up to do because of Duluth. I don’t have the energy to pull double-duty tonight.”

  “I had a full day of work, too,” I pouted. I knew I was whining, but I’d really been looking forward to going to the party with her.

  “Yes, but you’ve got youth on your side,” she claimed. “Go. Have fun. Hang out with your similarly young friends.”

  A frown tugged at both corners of my mouth. “You’re not that much older.”

  In truth, I had no idea how many years separated us. I knew she was older than me, but I didn’t know by how much. Every time I brought up the topic of our ages, she deflected or ignored my question.

  “Please apologize to Brent for me.”

  My entire body sagged in disappointment. “You’re really not coming?”

  “You could stay home with me?” she proposed. “We could order Chinese and handout candy together. Maybe watch a scary movie later?”

  A twinge of regret settled in my gut. She was proposing the perfect night in, but I’d been looking forward to this party ever since I’d decided on a costume.

  “I already RSVP’d,” I begged off. “It would be rude not to make an appearance when Brent is expecting us.”

  She arched a quizzical eyebrow. “When did you become the etiquette queen?”

  “I guess some of your good habits are rubbing off on me,” I huffed.

  Childishly, I left the room before she could respond. I grabbed my police academy duffle bag from the bottom of the closet in the guest bedroom and shoved my costume inside. I made a big show of storming into the bathroom and loudly shut myself inside, even though I had no idea if Julia was even watching.

  The blonde woman in the mirror glared back at me. “Stupid,” I mumbled to myself.

  I didn’t really know what I was doing with my hair, but I tossed it over one shoulder and contained it in a loose braid.

  I exited the bathroom and strode purposefully toward the front door. “Don’t wait up,” I called from the foyer. “I’ll probably be out late.”

  Julia chose to ignore my bratty tone. There was no way she couldn’t have heard it. Her steps were more careful than mine as she walked toward the front door with a glass of red wine in one hand. “What happened to your costume?” she asked.
/>   I hugged my duffle bag closer to my chest. “I’m going to change at the party. I don’t want my Lyft driver to laugh.”

  “Is your costume funny?”

  “I guess you’ll never know.” I knew I was being unfair, but I was too disappointed at that moment to be civil or polite.

  Julia immediately frowned at my words. “This is really that important to you?” Her tone softened from its usual refined edge.

  “No,” I lied. “It’s just a stupid party.”

  I felt ridiculously emotional. But I also felt betrayed and disappointed. I didn’t want her to know how affected her dismissal had made me, however. Because I felt like a child who hadn’t got their way, I did my best to choke down the truth.

  I kissed her cheek hastily, my lips barely making contact with her skin. “Don’t wait up,” I repeated. “I know you’ve had a long day.”

  I know you’ve had a long day.

  My retreating words to Julia replayed themselves over and over again in a loop as I sat in the backseat of my ride share. I’d meant my words to sting and to make her feel guilty. I didn’t know how they’d affected her, but by the time my Lyft driver dropped me off at Brent’s apartment, I didn’t feel like partying anymore.

  I pressed a button in the front lobby to be buzzed into the apartment building and walked up the two flights of stairs to Brent’s apartment. Even if I had never been to my friend’s apartment before, I still would have found the location of the party. The rhythmic pulse of deep bass filtered through the front door and into the apartment hallway.

  I discovered the front door unlocked and the narrow foyer empty. I still had to put on my costume, so I made a detour to the powder room. I opened my duffle bag and sighed at the icy blue sequined gown inside. I’d been so pleased with my costume—not for the novelty of the idea—but with how unexpected it would be on me. I’d wanted to see Julia’s amused reaction, and after the party was over, I’d looked forward to her making good use of the blue gown’s thigh-high slit.

  I carefully removed my civilian clothes and slipped on the long dress, but all of the joy had been sucked out of the evening. I’d wanted to unwind on the holiday with my friends, but I’d wanted Julia to be a part of that as well.