by Jen Wylie
Pain lanced through her chest and she cried out. Arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly to a firm chest. She couldn't hear his heartbeat, only the frenzied beating of her own.
"No, no! Aro, stay with me. Please, I beg of you. Stay with me…"
She couldn't answer him. She couldn't breathe through the tightness in her chest. The wild thumping stopped abruptly. Instead of the rainbows tearing her away, she fell into the dark.
∞ ∞ ∞
Darkness is peaceful. Silent.
Flashes of light erupted through the never ending black. Power arched through her, again and again.
From far away, a muted, angry voice teased her ears.
"Breathe! Come back, Arowyn."
So commanding. Power flared through her again like lightening in an evening thunderstorm. Her heart shuttered, beat once, stopped, and began again.
"Breathe!"
Perhaps she did. Did she know that angry voice? Rainbows swirled into the darkness, wrapping them in their bright glory and taking her away to a place of memory.
Opening her eyes, she found herself in dark woods surrounded by leering, filthy slavers. Where had the happy memories gone? As the men closed in on her…she screamed.
∞ ∞ ∞
Someone was singing. The words were unfamiliar, yet the voice wasn't. She'd heard him before, though she couldn't remember when. Who sang so beautifully? Kei? Prince? She latched onto the voice as terror after terror played over and over again around her.
The rainbows eventually faded away, the memories becoming more muted. She had a brief respite before they disappeared altogether…then the nightmares began.
She ran through a moonlit forest. Heart pounding, she gasped through a throat dry with terror and panic. He wouldn't stop. He'd never stop chasing her.
Dodging trees, her lungs burned. Every limb ached with fatigue. Behind her the wolf howled, startling her so much in its closeness she stumbled and almost tripped. Catching her balance, she put on a last burst of speed, eyes searching for…something, anything, anyone to help her.
Only trees loomed around her, branches all too high for her to reach. Over the sound of her frantic heart and gasping breath, she suddenly heard him. The quiet pats of his paws upon the forest floor, the louder pants of his breaths.
Time had run out, along with her energy. Her steps slowed and she stumbled again as muscles protested her constant push to keep going.
A paw swiped against her back, claws catching her shirt and sending her flying to the side. She landed hard, but rolled, struggling to stand. All she saw was snapping teeth and claws. Her screams drowned out his terrifying growls.
Her bloody death jolted her awake. Though her body trembled and her breath came in quiet rapid gasps, she couldn't move and barely felt her body. Blinking rapidly eventually cleared her blurry vision. As feeling began to return, she wished it hadn't.
Strong arms wrapped around her, a hand cradled her head against a muscled bare chest. She struggled to even out her breathing as she continued to shake.
These weren't the arms she wanted to be holding her. She wished she could move and push him away.
She found the power within her almost gone, though some fury remained. Her mind was the usual foggy mess so she found no escape there. She couldn't find her boys, couldn't speak to them. How long had she slept? Searching deep inside, she panicked when she couldn't find Kei. Memories of the darkness returned, filling her with a chilling dreadful horror.
Had she…died?
Had her death broke all of her bonds? Her terror and panic increased as she searched frantically for Kei, until finally she found the spark of their connection and latched onto it tightly. The muted pain and sorrow she felt from him brought tears to her eyes.
Eventually her body ceased to tremble and her control began to return. Shifting her stiff body, she tipped her head up. Lit lamps on the bedside tables gave her enough light to see Roan's sleeping face.
The lamplight cast him in a warm glow. Asleep, the stern coldness she'd grown accustomed to disappeared. His hair a tousled mess, he seemed so young and peaceful. She watched him silently, trying to make sense of everything, of him. Should she trust him? After Baelan's betrayal, she wasn't sure she ever could. Going over the past events in her mind, she stiffened once more. Had he known about Baelan? Why had he kept the Elf away from her, and then suddenly left her alone in his care? Did he intend for him to kill her?
Yet…she lived. Had that been Roan's doing, or something else? Why did he hold her now? Too many questions ricocheted through her brain.
His eyes opened slowly and they stared at each other for a long silent moment. The gentleness in those normally icy eyes startled her.
"I'm not a pet."
"I'm quite aware of that."
"And I don't like games."
"Neither do I." His answer still didn't explain why he kept her in his bed, or why he held her now. Perhaps he hadn't known of Baelan's intentions. He smiled softly and her breath caught in her throat. Where had the angry pirate gone?
"Do you love me, Roan?" She hadn't just asked him that out loud? Rot.
However, the question made him chuckle. "No, I lost my heart to another long ago. But perhaps I've started to like you just a bit."
The amusement in his tone made her smile.
"And have you fallen in love with me?"
"No, but I might like you a bit, too."
"Fair enough."
He shook his head slightly. "If I were human, I'd have a head full of gray hairs right now, thanks to you."
"I did warn you."
"So you did." He rolled onto his back, yet kept one arm around her, holding her to his side.
If she had more energy, she'd punch him.
"He killed you," Roan said softly, eyes locked on the canopy above them. "He gave you so much…your heart stopped."
"What happened?"
He remained silent for a long moment, his jaw working back and forth angrily, before turning to face her again. "After you called me, I found him standing over you. Blood everywhere. He didn't put up much of a fight."
"Did you kill him?"
"No. Shael can have that honor. I chained him up and sent him to your prince along with the Elves we killed."
She smiled at that. Prince would not go easy on him.
"So, I tended your wounds, watched over you. Watched you…die."
His voice wavered at the end and she knew her death upset him. Yet, she wondered if it had more to do with losing the power having her gave him. She kept her mouth closed and didn't ask. "I came back," she said. "How is that possible?"
He raised his free hand and wiggled his fingers. "A few surges of power got you going again. I'd seen it done before."
"Hmm." Elf power? Strange, none remained within her, though he hadn't given it to her, had he? "How long have I slept?"
He shook his head. "About six days."
Grimacing in frustration, she closed her eyes. "That long?"
"Bo came." Her eyes snapped open at that. "Was quite adamant he'd see you. You also had another visitor." He paused. "The Dragos."
She winced. "I'm sorry. Was he alone?"
Roan leaned back again. "Your Fey wasn't with him, if that's what you're asking. He didn't stay long, or say much."
Her eyes narrowed as she stared at the side of his face. Liar. Damon had said something.
The arm beneath her shifted, and his hand slid up and down along her shoulder, making her tense. "Your wound is healing well." She relaxed again, still feeling a bit numb, she'd forgotten about getting shot. "Why did you do that, Arowyn?" Before she could answer, he continued, his voice still soft and huskier than usual. "I am immortal; you are not. It is unlikely the arrow would have killed me."
At the time, she hadn't really thought of that. She made light of the situation. "I can't believe no one's ever tried to protect you, surrounded by guards as you are."
"They have, but I know why they did. As you so
like to tell me, I am not your lord or captain."
She remained silent for a while, trying to figure out the answer herself. "Perhaps you are my friend," she finally answered softly.
"Friend?" He chuckled and shook his head. She had no idea what he found amusing.
Silence drew out for a while, though wasn't really uncomfortable. She concentrated on getting feeling back into her body and clearing her mind. Roan just stared thoughtfully into nothing.
"What did you see when you died?"
The sudden question startled her. Before she could answer, her world ended.
Deepest black.
Utter silence.
As quickly as it came, she found herself back in bed. A memory? If so, it'd felt so real a cold shiver raced down her spine.
Roan glanced over at her.
"It was dark…and quiet," she finally said softly. "Was I…gone long?"
"No, not for too long." His eyes searched hers. "Was it painful?"
"No. Not at all. It was…" She paused, searching for a word. "Peaceful."
He looked away. "We know," he began after another quiet moment, "we have souls. We feel them within us. We can see and sense those we are mated to. We know our bodies return to the earth, as does our magic. But our souls…what becomes of them?"
"You're asking me?" She found the thought strangely funny. She wasn't immortal and was barely seventeen. What did she know of death…oh. "I don't know. Maybe I hadn't gotten to that part yet."
He nodded slightly. "True. The soul stays with the body for a little while. If you'd gone on, I'd not have been able to bring you back and we'd not be having this conversation."
"Double-edged sword."
"Yes," he agreed quietly.
She searched his face, concerned at the defeat in his voice. Why such questions? About to ask, she stopped suddenly. Why did she keep forgetting about his lost mate? "I'm sorry I can't answer your questions."
A short bark of a laugh erupted out of him. "It matters not. We live. We die."
Thinking of death, another thought occurred to her. "How many…" She stopped and started again. "How are your men?"
The cold mask returned to his face. "I lost four that day. Two others have died since."
Taking a slow breath to calm the pain his words caused, she closed her eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry."
"It is a risk they take. You should understand this."
"I do. I just…feel responsible," she said quietly.
"So you should."
She winced.
He stretched. "I suppose we should get up. Time to start all over again."
His words set a dark melancholy over her. She'd come so far and now was worse off than before. "How much time do I have? If you're leaving soon–"
"Don't worry about that. We'll deal with it when the time comes if we must."
How could she not worry? She didn't want to spend the rest of winter here.
Now more than ever she needed to train, grow stronger, and beat her addiction to the riath. She needed to get away from Roan, whether he'd meant her harm or not, and the sooner the better.
The next few weeks were not going to be pleasant.
Chapter 26
Becoming
The morning did not start out well. After waiting for Roan to get up and dressed, she got up as well. She fell flat on her face, having forgotten how weak she actually was after so long in bed. She'd also forgotten about her injuries.
As she cursed and clutched her shoulder, Roan shook his head. "Fight and you'll get hurt. That's the way of it."
Picking her up none too gently, he continued to lecture her as he carried her into the bathroom and set her down by the privy. He carried her back to bed when she was done. After he propped her up and set a tray of food on her lap, she shook her head. In a way, it was amusing. It also wasn't Roan.
"Go do your work. I'm fine."
Placing his hands on his hips, he stared down at her, the familiar stern frown back on his face.
"Thank you," she added. "If I need you, I'll ask."
The polite words mollified him somewhat, and he left her alone. She did ask him if he could send word to Prince. Unsurprisingly, he already had. Or so he said. Not knowing how much to trust him gave her a headache.
Aya later helped her with a bath and changing her bandages. At least the wounds were healing well from the power she let loose. She'd have some new scars, but didn't really care.
∞ ∞ ∞
"You haven't been sleeping well."
Looking up from her plate of food, she shrugged. At least she'd grown strong enough to eat with him at his desk now.
The first few days, she needed him more than she wanted to. The need for riath came quickly and often. Overwhelming relief her pack bond with the boys remained kept her from fighting with him too much. Once her mind cleared she could speak with them again, yet hadn't made plans to meet yet. Being once again so dependent on the drug, she was either too weak or about to go into withdrawal again.
"Proper sleep is important. You need it to recover," he continued.
Holding in a sigh, she fought to hold in an angry response. If it wasn't about her sleep, it was about how she needed to eat more, drink more, stretch more, try harder.
"I usually don't sleep well. It's fine."
"Always? Or since you were taken as a slave?"
"Since then," she snapped out.
He raised a hand, waving off her anger. "I'm trying to help. I've some stake in the matter as well."
"Then get me my own rotting bed!"
He chuckled, but shook his head. "If you need me, I must know immediately."
True. However, she hadn't…well, except for when she'd died and the nights the need for riath became intolerable. She took an angry bite out of a piece of bread.
"Tell me what the problem is, perhaps I can help and we can both get some rest."
Of course he didn't ask just for her sake. "I have dreams sometimes. Nightmares," she amended quietly.
"Of?"
She so very much didn't want to talk about it. However, she also knew he wasn't going to let the matter drop. "My family. Being in chains, being beaten, watching the ones I love die."
The irritation faded from his face. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "You were screaming last night."
"That was the wolf dream." His eyebrows rose so she continued. "I'm running and the largest wolf I've ever seen is chasing me. The Were king, I imagine. The fury in his eyes is terrifying enough, but then he catches me and…and tears me to pieces."
Roan's silence drew her attention back to him. He sat there, staring down at his clenched fists.
"It's just a dream," she said quietly. She paused a moment, realizing why he looked angry. She still hadn't found a way to deal with the king. "I'll figure it out. There's still time."
"Do you fear him so much?"
Looking away, she shrugged a shoulder, not wanting to admit such weakness to him.
His fist slammed on the desk, startling her. "You dream of him tearing your throat out!"
"I… He leads the Were. If he stands against me, how am I to heal the Fey? They roam the same lands the Were do. Even with my family by my side, I won't be able to do it. And I…I need to do this."
"I will take care of it."
Her eyes widened in shock. He'd what?
"I said I would protect you–"
"From the Elves," she interrupted. "This is a whole other matter."
"Do you think I can't? Haven't I–" He stopped abruptly.
"What? Protected me from the Elves? From Baelan?" She didn't mean to sound bitter or angry, but his sudden outburst irritated her.
"You have no idea what I did to keep you safe all those months. None!" She reared back from his anger, but he kept going. "The time and money I spent to keep you hidden, to stall his plans and attacks. You don't–" He stopped abruptly and sat wearily back in his chair. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a deep breath. "I broke my promise
to protect you, and for that, I am sorry."
His apology took her by surprise. "Promises get broken all the time, Roan," she said softly.
"Do you fear the Vor?"
The sudden change in topic startled her. With a grin, she shook her head. "Monsters I can handle just fine."
Shaking his head in amusement, a faint smile appeared. "Perhaps one day I'll fight them with you."
Once again, he surprised her. She tipped her head, acknowledging his offer. "Perhaps you will. At least you aren't hiding behind the wardwall."
His lips twisted at that and she wasn't sure if she'd offended him or not. "Eat your dinner, Arowyn."
∞ ∞ ∞
Aro kept her cloak wrapped tightly around her as she walked swiftly between Silas and Raythe. She blamed the wind for her stinging eyes, though her hood blocked most of it.
Finally, after over a week, she'd been well enough to meet Bo and Garen again. It hadn't been seeing them that brought her near to tears, but their reactions to her. She'd forgotten the pack bond did more than allow them to communicate. Her boys had known she'd died, even if only for a brief time. Bo had nearly broken her ribs again, he held her so tightly. Garen had been unable to keep still, milling around her and pushing his face against her. The mournful canine cry he'd uttered broke her heart.
They hadn't spoken much, mostly she'd told them what happened, and how she faired now, which wasn't very well really, though she'd tried to make light of the fact. They weren't stupid, however, and the pity in their eyes stung. They'd nearly completed preparing the house, not that she'd be ready for some time to come. Torn between sadness and frustration, she didn't know whether to allow herself to cry or to just scream.
She wanted to go home, now that she had one. A shiver ran through her and her fingers twitched. Cursing under her breath, she quickened her step.
Raythe awkwardly patted her shoulder. She shrugged it off and gritted her teeth. The Were twins hadn't changed much toward her since she'd fought, though they did make more time to speak with her. Roan's men didn't seem to know what to do or say around her.
