by Jen Wylie
"Is there anything I can do, miss?"
She shook her head at Raythe's quiet question.
When they returned to the house, even her wandering mind couldn't distract her from seeing something was wrong. The men in the common room sat quietly, shifting uneasily as she and the twins walked by.
She cast a glance at Raythe as they walked down the hall. What is it?
The captain is in a foul mood. He shrugged a shoulder. Happens now and then, if things don't go as he plans.
His words nearly sent her turning in the opposite direction. The Roan she'd come to know was bad enough. She clenched and unclenched her fists, trying to get rid of the restless feeling in them. Dealing with him right now wasn't something she felt up to doing. Do you know why?
He glanced at her and then away. He'll tell you, if he thinks you should know.
She gritted her teeth. Roan didn't ever tell her much. Being left in the dark made her rather irritated. If it was business related, then fine, he could keep his secrets. If it had something to do with her, she'd pull the information out of him with her teeth if she needed to.
The brothers left her at the door and she murmured a thank you before she entered.
Roan sat at his desk, though wasn't working. Leaning back in his chair, elbow propped on the arm, his chin rested in his hand. He didn't look up when she entered. He did look lost in thought, though from the scowl on his face they weren't happy ones.
Placing her cloak on a hook, she cursed when it slipped off. Picking it up, she angrily jammed it back on. She hadn't been in the best mood before she returned. Why did some people so easily spread their foul moods? She pushed back at the fury stirring within her and took a slow, measured breath.
"You seem to always come back in a worse mood than you left," he said quietly.
Turning, she held her tongue against an angry comment. "I miss them," she said instead. Catching her mistake, she continued, "Bo and Elaina, and…everyone." She shrugged and smiled weakly. "What are you angry about today?"
He snorted and dropped his hand. "Many things. Though I wouldn't say angry is the correct word." She waited, shifting restlessly, until he continued. "For one, I lost a ship."
Her eyebrows rose. "Did someone sink it? When you tried to take theirs, I mean." At his confused look, she frowned. "You are a pirate. Isn't that what you do?"
A brief laugh escaped him. "Not often. Mostly I trade."
"But everyone says you're such a fierce and deadly pirate."
"I can be, but it's often more trouble than it's worth. You should know by now having a reputation that works in your favor is not something to dismiss or deny."
Staring at him, she wondered what else she thought she knew about him was a lie.
"Did you eat?"
"No."
"You never do, perhaps that is why you are cranky. Dinner will arrive shortly."
She nodded once and headed for the sitting area.
"There are things we need to discuss," he said as she passed his desk.
Stopping abruptly, she turned to face him. "Such as?"
"You are not recovering as quickly. How much power do you have left?"
Another sore spot with her. "None," she answered flatly.
Grimacing, he shook his head. "I figured as much."
"I told you, I–"
He waved a hand, dismissing her words. "What Baelan did has taken much from you, I understand. I'd thought you may have been stronger, considering how you fought."
"That was different," she said after a moment.
He sat up. "How?"
Hadn't she told him this? She couldn't remember. "That was the fury. I can separate it from the power."
He regarded her so long she started to twitch. "And you still have fury within you?"
"Yes, but it's not the same."
"Of course it is," he snapped. "Fury is power, just put to a certain specific use. You can use it."
Looking away, she shook her head. "That wouldn't be a good idea."
"The fury is connected to the Fey. It may even do more to help you than raw power did. If you let it all out–"
"No." The idea of letting the fury out without Kei around frightened her. She still hadn't managed to completely master it all the time. If it got out of control, she didn't know what she'd do. Kei always brought her back, and he wasn't here.
He cursed and ran a hand through his hair. "Then you will have to come with me when I leave."
Her eyes widened and she clenched her fists. "That wasn't our agreement!"
"You won't be free of it in time, and I can't delay my departure for you."
"You don't have to. Bo can give it to me."
He snorted. "He is human, with clumsy hands and human senses. He has no idea how to judge what to give you, or measure out such small amounts."
"Then I'll find someone who can."
"You will come with me."
"I will not!" Even though the thought he goaded her on purpose crossed her mind, she couldn't stop the fury rising within her.
"It will be safer, considering…"
Her voice rose as she lunged forward and slammed her hands down on the desk. "Considering what?"
"It is possible Baelan did not reach his destination."
She froze. "What are you talking about?"
"I can assure you he went through the gates of Rivenward. However, I've had no confirmation he reached Norlea. It's been over two weeks. Quite simply, all my sources know nothing at all. He's disappeared."
Pushing off from the desk, she stepped back. She'd seen Baelan fight and knew defeating him would be difficult, especially in her current state. If he struck suddenly, she'd have no chance. "How could you let this happen?"
His lips pressed together angrily as he rose. "I assure you, I am not pleased either."
"You're not the one he wants to kill!"
"Arowyn, calm down."
"Do not tell me to calm down," she yelled. Spinning around, she raised a hand to her forehead as she paced to the sitting area. The fury rolled and twisted within her, trying to break free.
"It will not be an issue. I will take care of you. You will remain with me. I will post more guards. You will remain here at all times until we leave."
She spun to face him. "No!"
"Yes."
"You can't do this!"
He crossed his arms. "I will do what I must. I promised you safety, and you will have it. I promised you freedom from the riath, and you will have it. We will do this my way."
She could not stay with him. How could she leave her boys? Kei would return soon. She needed to be here. They needed her, and she needed them just as much.
The fury erupted within her. Red and black swirling anger and the promise of violence and death. Racing across the floor, she launched herself up and over the desk.
He caught her as she crashed into him, propelling them backward until he hit the wall. Grabbing her wrists, he held her as she struggled to tear him apart with her bare hands.
His gaze met hers and held it. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"
Snarling, she fought to free a hand so she could claw his cold, hard face off. Strength flowed through her. Distantly, she knew her eyes glowed red, and that she'd fallen into a full fury.
Swinging them around, he slammed her against the wall and moved closer, impeding her movements. "How long can you hold it?"
"I'm going to kill you," she ground out, her voice so rough and angry she hardly recognized it.
"I don't think so, sweetheart. Now gain some control."
His words fired the anger within her and she struggled harder.
He shook his head, dark hair falling across his forehead. "You would kill me now if you could, wouldn't you? Even after everything I've done for you. "
She barred her teeth at him. "Liar! You care nothing for me!"
His blue eyes lightened, growing colder. "True," he said softly. "I don't do this for you."
The words str
uck her like a slap to the face.
"I do this for the Fey, and the Were, and the Elves," he said, his voice soft yet harsh. "I do this so you can free the Fey to fight the Vor once again. For this, you must live. You must be strong. I will not be gentle with you." He shook her, as if trying to knock the words into her brain. "Do you understand?"
Thinking of Kei, the fierceness of the fury receded slightly. Closing her eyes for a moment, she fought for control of herself. She stopped fighting him. "I do," she finally answered quietly.
He nodded once and released her, taking a small step back.
She punched him in the face.
Clenching his jaw, he gave his head a small shake. "Arowyn," he said warningly, drawing out her name.
She raised her fists and shifted her stance, prepared if he retaliated.
His lips pressed together in irritation. "How did you not kill all of your companions," he muttered.
"I let it go, or I had a target for the violence," she answered. Sometimes the target was Kei, but she didn't say that.
"Don't let it go," he said quickly. "But let it lose within you."
She shook her head violently. "I shouldn't. It's hard enough to control as it is. I don't know…"
"Let it out," he commanded. "Let it fill you, be a part of you."
"I don't know what will happen. He said I shouldn't."
"Who?"
"Prince," she said quietly, looking away. "It's changed me, Roan. I don't know what it might do to me."
"It might free you from the riath."
She looked back at him angrily. "How would you know?"
"The idea was suggested to me this morning by an Elf I met with."
That he spoke of her to others, and continued to try to help her, set her aback for a moment. Even if he didn't do it for her. "I might kill you," she warned him quietly.
"That is very unlikely."
She snorted at his confident tone.
"If the power is to change you, then it will in time, even if you don't attempt this. You will have the power and fury of thousands of Fey move through you, Arowyn. Do not deny the inevitable. Embrace it. Use it. Now…let it free."
"You don't understand. The rage, the urge to do violence, to kill." She looked up into his eyes, trying to force him to understand. "You are the only one here. And I don't trust you."
"It is worth the risk, and is one I am willing to take."
"But am I? What if I can't escape it? What will you do then? Put me back in chains? Kill me?"
"No," he said firmly. "I will give you riath, and you will sleep until the power fades. However, I don't believe it will come to that. Your will is strong."
It surprised her how he'd apparently thought every possibility through and had plans in place. She nodded once, pushing down the sudden urge to vomit. Whether the urge came from nerves or need for riath she wasn't sure. "Don't let anyone else in the room."
He regarded her calmly for a long moment, and she wondered what went through his head. More strategies on how to deal with her? He turned and moved around the desk and walked to the door. After locking it, he crossed his arms and turned his cold gaze on her once more, waiting.
When she didn't move, he gestured for her to come forward, out from behind his desk.
After hesitating for a moment, she moved into the open space before the door. The fury still whipped throughout her, wild and blazing. Gritting her teeth, she fought to keep it leashed and within her control.
"No, you have to let it go."
"I don't want to," she grated out. Except she did. Part of her wanted to release the fury, to take out her frustrations and anger and confusion on the man who'd caused so much of it. She didn't understand him, what he wanted, or why he acted the way he did with her. She didn't even understand her feelings toward him. One moment she thought of him as a friend, the next she didn’t trust him at all. Sometimes she even hated him.
Roan's lips faintly curved into an unkind smile. "Then you will remain with me."
The fury flared within her, burning her from the inside out. "No."
"Make a choice, Arowyn, and make it now. I've wasted enough of my time on you."
"You unfeeling bastard," she whispered.
"This is not a game. This is your life. Many lives. You have the ability to become someone worthy and to fight for the most honorable of causes." He spread his hands as his voice softened, "Without you becoming what you must, many will die, and you will very likely be among them. Free yourself. From the fear that binds you…and from me."
Closing her eyes, she forced back the fear. The cost of what he asked could be very high indeed. Yet, losing her boys…being taken from them…no.
"No," she whispered, and let the fury fully loose for the first time.
It roared through her, consuming her, filling her completely with its wild madness and violence. Her body thrummed with the power it contained. Behind her closed eyes, she saw only the chaotic swirls of red and black.
Snapping them open, she launched herself at the man before her.
The fury may have been wild, yet her attack was not. Within her, she remembered how to fight, how to attack. But she wasn't that young woman anymore. She had become something more.
She moved with unnatural speed, her hands and feet hit with strength she'd never known before. Roan stood against her assault, moving easily with her, his own powerful arms blocking most of her attacks. They moved around the open space, a blur of motion. The sound of her racing heart filled her ears, almost drowning out the sound of flesh striking flesh, the snap of bone. Red blood streaked across her hands. It ran from his face, glorious, slow moving red rivers. She pushed forward once more, intent on destruction and death. He found an opening, yet instead of striking back, he caught a hold of her and launched her through the air.
She hit a chair in the sitting area, the loud crash of it falling over echoing in the room as she hit the floor. Scrambling to her feet, hands pushed her back down before she could get up. Struggling, more weight bore down on her back.
Screeching in rage, she bucked and kicked, trying to dislodge the Elf from her back.
He slammed her head to the floor with one hand and held it there. "Be still now."
For a few moments she continued to struggle, now their ragged breathing all she could hear. He shifted his weight and caught both of her wrists, pinning them to either side of her head.
His head rested against the side of her face, his breath tickling her ear as he spoke. "Stop fighting me. Now, fight yourself. Make it yours again. Heal yourself. Save yourself from the riath."
His words barely made sense. Trying to push herself up again, she failed.
"Think of your boys," he said quietly. "Think of Kei and Bo and Shael. Come back now."
Grinding her teeth, she fought him. She fought herself. She fought the fury. It raged inside her, wild and angry and demanding she free herself and fight.
Fight me, she screamed at it.
It wasn't alive.
Choking in frustration, she dove within herself. The fury whirled around her, thick ribbons of black and red. Forcing herself through it, she searched for her only hope.
Kei.
Finally finding their bond, she latched onto it against the storm of fury trying to tear her apart.
Kei! What do I do?
She knew he couldn't hear her, yet wasn't surprised when his strength and support wrapped around her. His love and devotion filled her, making her strong. She wasn't alone. She never would be.
With a scream of rage and defiance she dove into the wild surrounding her, set on taming the chaos within. She couldn't do it alone…and she didn't.
Kei was always by her side.
Chapter 27
The Happiness of Home
"Are you awake?"
Aro debated ignoring Roan's whispered question. Lying on her side with her back to him, she could probably get away with pretending to be asleep.
"Yes," she finally whispered
back.
The bed shifted and she tensed. She had no idea what happened the night before, or had it been longer? Vague memories of fighting the fury floated in her mind, but not much else. Since she still wore the same clothes, except for her boots, apparently she hadn't gone crazy and attacked Roan again. The few memories she had didn't include rainbows, so he hadn't given her more riath.
When he still didn't speak, she asked one of the many questions twirling in her head while she'd been staring into the dark. "Did it work?"
"We shall see. Do you feel the need for it?"
"No." What she felt was tired, worn out, and strangely empty. The fury rested quietly within her, tucked away and once again controlled. Part of her missed it and the wild, unstoppable feeling it gave her. "Can I go home now?"
"It would be best to wait a few days," he said, his words sharp and clipped.
"That's fine," she agreed, confused over his obvious irritation. Didn't he want to be rid of her after all the trouble she'd caused him?
After another long silence, she asked another question. "Do you even see me as a person? Or just some tool to be used."
She barely heard his muttered curse. "You are a human, thrust into the world of powerful immortals." The anger in his quiet, husky voice startled her. "You don't seem to understand the danger you are in. Anyone could turn on you at any moment. You are too young, too innocent and naive, to survive."
"And you're a cold, heartless bastard!"
His fist hit the bed. "You aren't listening! You need to listen and learn, not fight with me."
"You don't tell me anything," she retorted angrily.
He let out an irritated huff. "I have been trying these past months, but you are too stubborn and headstrong to pay attention."
His words put everything he'd said, everything he'd done in a different light. She refused to admit he was right. "You didn't answer my question."
The bed shifted again as he moved. When his hand gently slid over her hair, she squeezed her eyes closed and jerked away.
"Yes," he said finally, withdrawing his hand. "I see you."
∞ ∞ ∞
Aro paced the room, restlessly.
Three torturous days had passed. She'd had no further symptoms of withdrawal, but the waiting, wondering if any moment they might start again, had driven her almost crazy. Much of her time the last few days she spent with Aya or the Were twins. Fighting, with swords or fists, helped to keep her nervous energy under control.
