Deadly Influence

by Lakes, Lynde

  Lisa withdrew her hand. “I hope you don’t use that line on your girlfriends.”

  “A bit too much?” He cocked his head to the side.

  “Much too much,” she said as Jay returned to the table.

  “What’s too much?” Jay asked, glancing at each of them.

  “Nothing,” Bud said. “Just dinner chitchat, little brother. Did you get through to Grandma?” His eyes had a teasing sparkle.

  “Not yet,” Jay growled. “You’ll be the first to know when I do!”

  Lisa touched his hand. “You’re more upset than when you left. What is going on?”

  “I’ll work it out. Forget it,” he said and abruptly withdrew his hand from hers.

  She stared at him, hurt, confused. If she even so much as brushed against his hand, he withdrew it. If she moved toward him, he stepped away. Why was he closing her out?

  The vibes didn’t improve as the evening wore on. Bud encouraged Jay’s agitation, jabbing subtle digs at him. The gibes seemed connected to his repeated attempts to reach his grandmother. Each time Jay left the table to make his calls, Bud would try to ply her with refills of wine. Each time, she covered her glass with her hand. Then he changed strategies and lavished compliments and attention on her while trying to capture her hand. It was a challenge to avoid him. She sighed. Advances would be welcome from Jay. She had envisioned their last night together to be skyrockets and whispered bittersweet good-byes, building a memory to last a lifetime. Instead, Bud plunked himself between them, doing all the talking, charming and affable, going out of his way to annoy Jay.

  Jay tried again to reach his grandmother after they returned home. It was after midnight, but that didn’t stop him. “Where is she, damn it?” he asked as he slammed down the entry telephone.

  Jay’s new obsessive side troubled Lisa. “Maybe they stopped for a late snack in Baker and got to talking,” she said. “It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re in love.”

  “Maybe they had a flat tire or car trouble,” Bud said cheerfully.

  Jay glared at Bud and pointed. “We have to talk now, Bud. In the library!” Jay turned to her. “This might take awhile, Lisa. Go on up to bed.”

  “But—”

  “Please, Lisa,” he said gently, “just this once, no arguments.” He turned and left her at the bottom of the stairway without so much as a kiss on the cheek or the touch of his hand.

  Damn him. She didn’t have to do what he said, and normally she wouldn’t, but he’d been so uptight tonight. Maybe this once she should make an exception. She glanced up the winding stairway, then toward the library. She stiffened her back. Why couldn’t he share his feelings with her? And why had he treated her so coolly all evening? Was it that he had gotten what he’d wanted from her only to discover it wasn’t what he wanted at all? If so, why couldn’t he be straight with her? Why couldn’t he just admit that making love to her had been a mistake?

  Tears flooded her eyes. She blinked them away and put one foot in front of the other and slowly climbed the stairs. Okay, Jay, we’ll play it your way.

  Jay’s and Bud’s raised voices echoed from the library of the old house. Give it a rest, guys. Wasn’t it enough that she was stuck making a good-bye breakfast for a man she didn’t want to leave? Why was Jay wasting their last few minutes together fighting with Bud? She sloshed water over the sides of the coffeemaker.

  Emily had the weekend off. Bud didn’t want to pay the cook’s salary while Meta was gone. Probably the only reason she hadn’t quit was that she’d grown to care deeply for her employer.

  “Bud,” Jay was shouting, “I finally got through to Grandma. She told me you lied.” Jay was silent for a moment. “Why?”

  Lisa heard the pain in Jay’s voice but not Bud’s answer. Seconds later, livid and flushed-faced, Jay strode into the kitchen. He opened and closed his fists, then began pacing. “Jay, what’s wrong?”

  “Don’t make any breakfast for me. Thanks to Bud, I’ll barely make my flight.”

  Jay reached for her. She pulled back. “I’ll ride to the airport with you,” she said, untying her apron.

  “No!” he shouted. Then his voice gentled. “I couldn’t stand that. Not with the way I want to take you in my arms.”

  “What?” Lisa spun around and glared at him. “You haven’t touched me, much less taken me in your arms, since the cellar! But it’s okay. I finally got it. You’re a love ’em and leave ’em player. So go.” She pressed her lips tight to keep from begging him to stay.

  “Hold on, Lisa. It’s not like that. I love you.” He reached for her again.

  She stepped farther away. “You have an odd way of showing it. You turn your love and passion on and off at will and are always so damned controlled!”

  A flush crept up his neck. His dark eyes flashed. “It wouldn’t hurt you to learn a little control.” He grabbed her wrists. “So listen for once.”

  “No!” She glared up at him. “You listen.” She rushed on, wanting to get it all out before she lost her courage. “I love you, Jay, but I don’t think I like you very much!”

  “Wait a minute.” His tone was deeper now. “We’re not acting rational here.”

  “Another controlling phrase.”

  “Why are we arguing? I love you.” He glanced at his watch. “Look, I have to go, or I’ll miss my flight.”

  “Then go. Who’s stopping you? Take care, good luck on your interview, and all that.” She extended her hand to shake his. He grabbed it and pulled her into his arms, crushing her lips beneath his. She tried not to give in to the warm, tingly sensations rising within her. Her arms had a will of their own. They encircled his neck, and she allowed Jay’s tongue to capture hers. Then she was lost to the spiraling passion. He released her suddenly, breathless and shaken.

  “I’ll miss you,” she whispered to his back as he raced out the door.

  “I’ll be back, Lisa,” he shouted over his shoulder. “Wait for me!”

  How long, she wondered—a year, five years, a lifetime?

  Jay tried to sleep as the DC-10 soared higher, taking him toward a chance at his dream—the one he’d had for the last five years. But the plane was also taking him further from Lisa and his new dream of them together for the rest of their lives.

  Earlier, at the airport, he had called Frank Dorsey. Trying to forget his parting with Lisa, he replayed the conversation in his mind.

  “The docs fixed me up just dandy,” Frank had said, “and a very special nurse took me under her wing. She decided that although I am fit as a fiddle now, she wants to keep me that way. She maneuvered me into popping the question. Course, it didn’t take much. She’s cute as a button and smart as a whip. She told me to thank you for rescuing me from that Bosnian hellhole.”

  Jay had been relieved to know his friend had started making a new life for himself. He needed to move on, too. He shifted restlessly in the cramped seat. He was a very different man than the one who had arrived in Redlands only days ago. Lisa’s love had taught him that he didn’t need to run away to his disciplined world to prove he was worthy. With her at his side, he could face life certain of his worthiness, certain of lasting happiness.

  Suddenly the promotion and assignment didn’t seem as important. If he had to choose between Lisa and his career, he would take Lisa hands down. It was the hope that he could hold on to both that had messed things up. He felt terrible about the way he had shouted at her. That wasn’t at all what he’d wanted to do. But he was so angry at himself for giving any credence to Bud’s preposterous lie that he struck out at everyone in his path.

  What was behind Bud’s whopper? Bud knew he wouldn’t rest until he uncovered the truth, yet his brother had lied anyway. Jay shook his head. Bud had warmed up to Lisa, yet he had done everything he could to keep Jay from proposing to her. It was foolhardy. By lying, Bud had risked his anger, perhaps even his alienation. Then there was his grandmother’s scorn. Keeping Lisa and him apart must have meant a great deal to Bud for him to ris
k all that.

  Oh no. Bud loves Lisa, too. It was a mistake leaving her there with his love-struck, manipulative brother. She was vulnerable, angry, and hurting. Anything could happen.

  Don’t be ridiculous, he thought. Lisa was too smart to let Bud fool her. Just the same, he’d call her as soon as the plane landed.

  He had to make her understand how much he needed her love. She was like air and water, and he would do whatever it took to be with her… forever.

  Would he really give up his old dream of a promotion and an assignment in Germany? He weighed the question carefully. Yes, even that. He’d learned that love was all that really mattered. Everything else was just trimmings. He only hoped he hadn’t learned it too late. Suddenly he had to get to the plane’s telephone. Now.

  “I don’t know why she won’t come to the phone, Jay,” Bud said in a low voice. He glanced around to be certain Lisa wasn’t on her way down the stairs.

  “You haven’t told her that I’ve been calling every day, have you?” Jay said.

  “I told her. She said it’s too little too late, whatever that means.”

  “I don’t believe you. Let me speak to Grandma.”

  “She hasn’t come back from Vegas. If you’ll remember, she was staying the whole weekend.”

  The sound of Jay slamming the phone down made Bud laugh. Sorry, bro. I know I’m a rat, but all’s fair in love and war.

  Lisa stood by her open bedroom window, letting the cool morning breeze wash over her. The air carried the fragrance of orange blossoms. She touched her lips. If Jay really loved her, he could have found a way to call by now, even if he was busy. How long did it take to dial, anyway?

  As if in answer to her prayer, the telephone rang, and she grabbed the receiver before the second ring.

  “Lisa, honey,” Police Sergeant Martin said, “glad I caught you at home.”

  Her racing heart slowed in disappointment. “Martin, what a surprise.”

  “You sound a little down. Is something wrong?”

  “Nothing a call from a friend can’t cure,” she said, trying to sound like she meant it. And she did. It was just that she had hoped…

  “I can do better than that,” he said. “Nothing’s happening here at the station. Why don’t you meet me at Nellie’s Coffee Shop around the corner from here in about twenty minutes for a hot chocolate and a few laughs?”

  “I’m tempted, but…” She doodled Jay’s name on the scratch pad next to the telephone and drew a zigzagged broken heart around it.

  “I won’t take no for an answer. I have something important to ask you.”

  Lisa was fairly sure what it was—he’d been hinting he could pave the way for her to rescind her resignation and get back on the force. That might have been interesting if she hadn’t already made her decision to apply to law school, an idea she’d been tossing around for months. She had filled out her application and letter of evaluation to Loyola Law School in Los Angeles weeks ago. It was Jay’s leaving that had been the catalyst for mailing it. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to hear Martin out. Besides, she could never turn down chocolate or a good laugh. “Okay, buddy. As usual, you talked me into it.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  The coffee shop was crowded. Lisa estimated that at least a third of the people were from the police department. She waved at a couple of the detectives as she slid into the booth across from Martin. They waved without smiling. She wished she could tell them the truth, that her partner had been the rat. But she had made her decision a long time ago. For his children, she’d let everyone believe he was a hero. And she was sticking by her vow.

  “Don’t let them get to you,” Martin said.

  “They don’t.”

  She wished she could make herself believe that. He gave a snort and shook his head, obviously not believing her either. Then he launched into the latest jokes making the rounds at the department. His attempt to cheer her up worked. For a few moments, she forgot everything except how good it was to be with her friend. She even managed a smile when the harried waitress brought their chocolate.

  When Martin took her hand, her gaze flew to his. His blue eyes were clear and bright, and the sun shining through the plate glass window sent golden highlights into his red hair. He was a nice-looking man. She wondered how he had managed to stay single.

  “Lisa,” he said, stroking her hand, “maybe you’ve already guessed what I wanted to ask you.”

  She gave his hand a squeeze and then withdrew her hand. “I think I do and—”

  “I’ve waited,” he said, “giving you a chance to get over your resentment about the unfair mess at the department.”

  “You really went out on a limb for me on this case. Thanks, Martin.”

  He tilted his head, passing off her thanks as though in a hurry to get something said. “I also waited to give you time to finish up at the Corning place. I knew you wouldn’t be ready to get on with your life until it was behind you.”

  She sighed. “But it’s time now, isn’t it?” She locked her hands around her cup and clutched it tightly.

  “It is.” He gently pried her fingers off the cup and took her hand in his again. “Marry me, Lisa.”

  Lisa’s breath caught. Oh, God, no. “Martin, we’re buddies…”

  “Haven’t you heard? Best friends make the best husbands.”

  “I’ve heard.” She tried to smile but couldn’t. A knot was forming in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t want to hurt Martin. But Jay had become her best friend—almost dying together had brought them closer. Then Jay closed her out.

  “You’re not jumping into my arms,” Martin said.

  “I’m sorry, but…” She searched for the right words, soft words that would leave their friendship intact.

  “It’s Jay, isn’t it?”

  She nodded. He knew her too well for her to try to deny it.

  Lisa called Logan’s Detective Agency to see if they had any pick-up jobs. Then she combed the employment section of the newspaper again. She was willing to take anything to tide her over until she received an answer from Loyola Law School. Now that she’d decided to do this thing that had been brewing in the back of her mind for a long time, she was eager to get started—and to leave the Corning house. Meta had asked her to stay at least until she made definite plans, insisting that she was family now and always would be. But she wasn’t. She’d simply made the mistake of getting too involved with her client, loving her, and loving her grandson.

  Lisa glanced around the room that had been hers for months. She would miss the big old poster bed, the gold-inlaid ceiling, and the scents of orange blossoms and roses that drifted in on the breeze through the open windows. But she didn’t belong here. She wasn’t Jay’s wife, wasn’t his anything, and the sooner she moved out, the quicker she could put this episode of her life behind her.

  She sighed. Burying herself in law books would give her the escape she needed and provide her with a challenging goal that might help keep her mind off Jay. The more she considered her decision, the better she liked the idea. She needed something all-consuming to make her forget that she would never again feel as alive as she had in Jay’s arms.

  Lisa flinched when the phone rang. Maybe it was Logan or Martin with a lead to a warehouse guard job or a temporary bodyguard assignment.

  Her heart speeded at the sound of Jay’s voice. He was the last person she expected to be on the other end of the line. She adjusted the receiver against her ear, caressing it.

  “Just called to say I got the promotion and overseas assignment.” He didn’t sound as excited as she would have expected.

  “I knew you’d get it. Congratulations.”

  The silence that followed renewed the familiar ache, the pain she had told herself was fading. She drew a breath. In the quiet, she heard his breathing, could almost feel his heart beating… or was it her own throbbing in her ears?

  For a moment, she considered telling him about her decision to go to law school, but suddenly
it was empty news. Besides, he didn’t care. He was no longer a part of her life.

  “Have you told Meta?” she asked softly.

  “No. You’re the first.”

  “She’ll be so proud.” Lisa twisted and untwisted the telephone cord around her fingers, wishing things could be different.

  “How do you feel, Lisa?”

  “I’m proud of you too, of course.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  “I know what you mean, but it’s all been said. And I’ve never been good at chitchat.” She tried to laugh. It fell flat, sounding forced and humorless. She felt compelled to keep talking. “After all, we’ve already said good-bye, good luck, and all that. It isn’t likely our paths will cross again, with you in Germany and me here or wherever.”

  “Look, the way I left…” His words faltered, sounding choked with regret.

  She closed her eyes. They both had regrets, but talking about them didn’t help. It made the hurting worse. Nothing was, or ever would be, as painful as losing the only man she had ever loved.

  “I did it all wrong,” he said. “You know I’ll always love you.”

  “So you said.” Lisa bit her lip and then forced a clipped tone. “For what it’s worth, I haven’t stopped loving you. Nevertheless, you know how it is. The hurt is less every day. You told me what to expect, so the way you left shouldn’t have surprised me.” She closed her eyes, fighting tears and scarcely able to breathe. “I have to go, Jay. I have a big-deal job interview and can’t be late.” The lie lay in her throat, swelling and strangling her. She slammed down the receiver. Silent sobs shook her shoulders, but the tears wouldn’t come—wouldn’t give her release.

  Damn him. He had left so abruptly, so coldly, as if they had merely been casual friends, as though nothing deep and real had passed between them. If only there had been a bittersweet parting, something she could hang onto for the rest of her life. Instead, there was just their brief last kiss. Now, trying to decide what to do with the rest of her life was like swimming against raging floodwaters. Until she confronted her hurt feelings, she would only flounder and drown in heartbreak.