In All My Wishes

by Ciara Knight

  She looked at her driveway and discovered a mound of hard-packed white powder stacked behind her car. “Great.” There went her escape from Liam plan.

  “Not such a surprise. Why isn’t your car under the carport?”

  She shook her head. “I’d planned on moving it in, but I had a contractor out yesterday fixing the trim that had come loose and I didn’t want my car under where he was working.”

  “Smart move.”

  Anna shook her head. “Not looking so smart now.”

  Liam pulled into the drive and shifted into park. “It’s no big deal. The snow will be gone in a day or two. If not, I’ll come help you dig your car out. For now though, we need to get going.”

  A loud ring sounded over the speakers and Liam reached for the button. “Why don’t you head in and shower up while I take this. I’ll join you in a minute. Just leave the front door unlocked.”

  She glanced at the caller ID on the console screen and thought she recognized the name. Oh, yeah, Robert Zelder. He handled real estate in the area. “Ok, I’ll be quick.” Anna tiptoed and wobbled around her car and up to the side steps in the carport. Her frigid fingers grasped her metal key ring and after the fifth attempt, she finally managed to get the key into the lock and open her side door. The wave of dry warmth met her face. Not great for the skin, but good for the bones. She tossed her keys on the kitchen counter, kicked off her Louis Vuittons, and raced up the stairs. Her feet protested the cold tile of her master bath and she cursed herself for never having the radiant floor heating installed.

  She cranked the hot water to high and undressed, the steam rising and creating a fog in the small bathroom. Hearing the door squeal downstairs, she shut her bathroom door and hopped into the warm bliss of her shower.

  Her muscles relaxed and the arctic blast of pain in her shoulder, from when she’d pulled it out of its socket playing tennis in college, released its death grip. She lathered up, enjoying the invigorating scent of eucalyptus, but she knew she needed to make it short and sweet if she planned to get back to the hospital quick. Still, she stole a moment, allowing the water to hammer against her sore neck and back while she searched for options to evade Liam, retrieve the stuff for Cynthia, and return to the hospital by herself. Alas, nothing plausible entered her mind, short of stealing a snowmobile from the guy up the street.

  After shampooing her hair and a thorough rinse, she turned off the water and toweled off. The plush terry cloth, soft against her skin, made her want to sit on the bench against the wall and just forget everything for a while.

  “I’ll make some coffee. I’m sure you could use a cup as much as I can,” Liam hollered from below.

  She quickly dried her hair, leaving it naturally curly, something she’d never do in the big city, but she didn’t need to worry about photographers or tabloids in Riverbend. That was why she always came home after a long fashion season―to escape.

  She opened the bathroom door and smelled the hearty aroma of coffee. Her caffeine-addict side nearly took hold of her senses and dragged her down the stairs despite still wearing nothing but a towel. Deciding it best to dress with haste before her willpower lost, she entered her walk-in closet. Even with the large room crammed with racks and racks of clothes, she couldn’t spot anything to wear.

  She scooted several cloth hangers with silk shirts to the left and several garment bags to the right, unzipping and re-zipping each, but found nothing comfy. The fresh smell of light lilac from a sachet on her shelf filled the room. She’d always found her closet to be a place of comfort, but not today. Today, she found nothing to smooth the edges from her life.

  Abandoning her closet, she resorted to searching dresser. She pulled a pair of leggings from the bottom with a feeling of accomplishment.

  After two more drawers, she abandoned the search and returned to the closet where she retrieved her long-since forgotten plastic tubs gathering dust in the back.

  “Coffee’s ready!”

  Ugh, if I could only have a sip then I could find something. She opened a plastic bin and resorted to a sweater. A simple green knit with gold woven in without a certain pattern in mind, it was elegant in its simplicity, and best of all, warm.

  With a pair of leggings and the Christmas-y sweater in hand, she headed to the bathroom and wiped the mirror clean of the remnants from the fog she’d created from the hottest shower she’d ever taken. She eyed her makeup bag, but decided a little concealer, mascara, and strawberry ChapStick would be enough for the hospital.

  With a tentative step, she walked to her dresser and opened her jewelry box, a gift from her mother on her sixteenth birthday. They’d had no money back then, but her mother found the box at a garage sale, and sanded and painted it herself. It was the first time she’d seen her mother out of bed and functioning as a normal human being again.

  She dotted her nose with powder and brushed the extra residue from her sweater. Her fingers slid over the soft fabric and she thought of how lovely the little golden star pendant she owned would look with the gold in the sweater. Did she dare wear it, though? It had been tucked in a pouch in her jewelry box for so many years. The star, a symbol of hope from her childhood, had been buried deep in her old belongings, so she’d never have to face its meaning again. But today, Andrew needed a little help. There was no way Liam would remember giving it to her, not after all these years.

  “Coffee is getting cold,” Liam hollered up the stairs.

  “Coming down now.” Anna secured the necklace’s clasp and stole a quick glance in her dresser mirror. What was she doing? Why on earth would she wear the star he’d given her? She reached behind her neck to remove it when a tap sounded at the door behind her. She spun and found Liam in the doorway.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought I’d bring the coffee to you before it got cold.” His eyes settled on her chest and a smile lit his face, a gleam shining in his eye. “You still have that? I mean, with all your fancy jewelry and gifts that have been showered on you all these years, you still have that cheap star?”

  “It’s not cheap to me.” She held tight to it, remembering the promise he’d made when he gave it to her.

  Liam set her coffee mug on the dresser and pushed her hair behind her shoulders, with an approving gaze at her wild curls. “So maybe you do still believe wishes can come true.”

  “I don’t know, but I figured any little bit could help Andrew.”

  Liam’s thumb brushed down her face and his fingers covered hers over the star. “I see. Maybe we can both make a wish for him then.” He closed his eyes, the way he did that night under the stars when he’d given the necklace to her, wishing they’d be together again soon.

  Liam lifted one lid. “You’re supposed to close your eyes when you make a wish. Don’t you remember how this works?”

  “I don’t think—”

  “I thought this was for Andrew.”

  Anna wanted to break away. She didn’t want to feel her heart fluttering at the touch of his knuckle against her collarbone, or his fingers around her own. Yet, she didn’t move. Instead, she closed her eyes and wished for the doctors to heal Andrew’s hand.

  “What did you wish for?” Liam whispered.

  “Andrew’s full recovery of course.”

  Liam chuckled. “I know that, but what specifically? You used to have the best, most elaborate wishes.”

  Anna lowered her hand to her side and stepped away from Liam, his resolve-altering cologne. “Just for the doctors to heal him and for him to not suffer too much. Silly, right? Life is all about suffering. Guess he’s learning that now.”

  Liam’s dimples disappeared, and his eyes narrowed. “I see. Are you ready?”

  “Yes. I just need some coffee.” Her mouth watered at the aroma. She grasped the mug tight in her hands and lifted it to her lips.

  “Let’s take it to go.” Liam snagged her free hand and tugged her toward the stairs. “It’s time I helped you stop suffering.”

  Chapte
r Six

  Liam refused to allow any more time to pass between them without discussing the truth. They'd wasted too much of their lives already. Yet, they barely spoke a word to each other since leaving Anna’s place. He thought he’d go mad if he didn’t confront her about what happened in their past, but he managed to hold his tongue long enough to shower, collect clothes for Mitchem and Cynthia, and make his way through town. He pulled into a parking space out front of Historic Hall and turned off his BMW, not willing to wait another moment.

  “What are we doing here?” Anna asked.

  “Making wishes come true.”

  “What are you talking about? We need to get back to the hospital. Cynthia and Mitchem need some food and coffee,” Anna protested, but eyed the building with curiosity.

  “Cathy and Devon took them some food and coffee already. They’re with them now.”

  “Yes, but…”

  Ignoring her pleas, Liam exited the car. The brisk winter air nearly drove him back into the driver’s seat, but he persevered through the cold and kicked over the brick near the front door where he found the key Robert had left for him.

  Anna opened the car door and stepped out. This time her booted feet kept her upright, not that he minded catching her in his arms any day of the week, even if it meant a bruised tailbone. “What are you up to, Liam?”

  He unlocked the door and opened it into the past, their past. “After you.” She remained planted on the front steps, snowflakes falling from the roof onto her red hair, making her look like an angel. “Suit yourself, but it’ll get cold out here quick.” He stepped inside to find crumbling plaster, busted floorboards and a few pieces of abandoned furniture. The room was dim and his spirits wavered. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

  “Wow,” Anna mumbled behind him.

  “I know, it’s pretty run down.”

  “No, it’s amazing. The architecture is still how I remember it, with the high ceilings, crown molding and large front windows. It would make an amazing space for a shop,” Anna said in a hopeful tone.

  “You still think about opening a shop?” he asked, hope floating along with the dust in the air.

  “No, not anymore.”

  “You did once though? A dress shop, right?” Liam tried to keep his tone casual.

  “I’m not sure. Something in design, but not the same old stuff. Not high design, or bargain hunts. I’d want to do something unique, to help women and men dress well for what they need. Not off the rack fashion you can only wear if it happens to fit.”

  “So do it. This space would be perfect. You could have a line of fabrics on these walls.” He about-faced and trotted to the other side of the room. “Accessories here. A counter for checking out there. You could design a platform there for alterations. You know, measuring and redesigning things.”

  Anna laughed. “You’re insane.”

  Liam clutched her arms and spun her around once. “Why is it insane? Look, you were once a dreamer. You believed in wishing and knowing things would come true.”

  Anna’s eyelids lowered, covering her shining eyes. “But they didn’t, and they won’t. Not for me.”

  “You’re wrong. The star worked. You found your way back to Riverbend. I’m not sure why you never came back before now. I fought for so many years, even after your letters stopped. I wrote and called, I even drove to try to find you, but you’d disappeared. I scoured half the states looking for you until my uncle made me give up and leave for college. I would’ve stayed even then, but he kicked me out, telling me I was worthless. He said I was wasting my life away mooning over some girl that was never coming back, who never loved me. He said you were a child, and you’d grown up and didn’t need me anymore.”

  Her hands clutched his elbows. “No, it wasn’t like that. I did come back for you.”

  Liam sucked in a breath, willing her to open up to him. “When?”

  The light in Anna’s eyes, the one that always shone brighter than the brightest star flickered in a night sky. “When you were at college. I couldn’t come home before then. I tried, but Mother was…ill.”

  “I’m so sorry, but you said she got well, right? When?” Liam asked, not the words he wanted to ask, but the ones that would coax her into telling him the truth.

  “When I went to college.”

  Liam thought carefully about what to say next. How could he direct the conversation to the past without spooking her. “You said you came back, but what happened? Why didn’t you come find me?”

  Anna dropped her hands by her sides, straightened and pushed her shoulders back. “I did. You had…moved on with your life. When I found you, you were with another girl at college, and many after that. I can’t blame you. Your uncle was right. We were only children back then.”

  Liam wouldn’t let her go. “No, you’re wrong. I never moved on with my life. Anna, it was you. It’s always been you.”

  Anna turned out of his arms and headed for the window. She stood at eye level to the space between the boards barring the window, as if peering outside into another world. “If that’s true then why have you had so many girlfriends?”

  Liam took a cautious step toward her, but was scared she’d bolt through the door like a scared teen. “I may have moved on to date, but I could never fall in love. I tried to drown my sorrows in the company of others, but it never worked. Anna, I’ve never told another girl I loved her. I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with another girl. That’s the reason I dated so much. I never wanted to get close to any one but you. Anytime they got too serious, I would move on. Every thought, every dream¬¬¬, every breath I’ve had since you left has been for you. My life has been empty since the day you disappeared from my life.”

  She didn’t say anything, so he scooted closer. “Anna?”

  She held up one trembling hand to keep him at bay. “No,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

  “Yes.” Liam spun her around and pulled her into his arms. And he swore he’d never let her go again.

  “Stay, Anna. We can have everything we dreamed about when we were teenagers. Your store, our life together. We can buy this place and fix it up. We can live upstairs if you want, in your old apartment. I know a great realtor and a great contractor. A buddy of mine, Dalton, does great work for me. Give us a chance. We never had a choice about staying together when we were kids, but we do now.”

  She pulled free and looked up at him.

  He cupped her pink cheeks and willed her to feel his truth. “Choose me now, Anna.”

  Chapter Seven

  Anna’s lungs fought the dust, the dampness, the convulsion of confusion until her body drew in a desperate breath. She’d dreamed of hearing his declaration of love for so long. It echoed in the large, abandoned storefront and in her heart. Was he really proclaiming his love for her? Was it all true? She wanted to scream that she’d chosen him years ago, but she couldn’t. There was too much heartbreak. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

  Liam’s fingertips raked along her jaw line from her ear to her chin, as if tugging out the words she was too frightened to say. A trail of nervous, excited energy remained behind even after his fingers moved to her lips. “Then say nothing.” He leaned in, the strength, the want, the myriad of Liam emotions collided within her as his mouth parted. She knew if he kissed her, all sense would leave her.

  She blocked his advance with a hand. “No. It was a dream once, but not anymore. I don’t want to hurt you, Liam, or lead you on. The truth is I just don’t know right now.”

  “Then why is your heart beating so fast?” His hand captured the star around her neck. “And why have you kept this all these years if you didn’t long for me the way I’ve longed for you? Why is your body trembling the way it always did when we snuggled together up on the roof of this building, looking at the stars?”

  Anna moved her foot behind her, attempting to escape his mesmerizing gaze, the gaze that always locked her into his world. She inhaled his cologne, not to
o strong, an enticing manly aroma that would draw anyone a little closer, as if they had to have more, to figure it out, to figure him out. “That was then.”

  “Anna,” he said, his tone raspy and desperate. “I don’t know why we were separated. Perhaps it was meant to make us realize how unique and special our love is in this world. To know we were truly meant to be together. I’m sorry I hurt you, that I was hurt, but we have a second chance now. I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve never lied to you, Anna. If you can't answer me now, then at least promise me one thing.”

  Anna swallowed, attempting to find her voice beyond the emotion threatening to steal the last of her wits from her. “What?”

  “That you’ll think about the possibility. I’m sorry if you thought I’d moved on without you, but it was never possible. I realized that a long time ago.” He released her and turned, his shoulders slumped with defeat. A posture she’d never seen on him before. She ached to make his pain go away, but she couldn’t say the words he longed to hear. She spun and walked around the room, keeping her gaze anywhere but on him. Was he truly damaged by all this the way she was? He had to be at least somehow. Not even Liam was that good of an actor.

  She shuffled to the back of the large room, fighting the tears and the lump in her throat, fighting against the thoughts twisting in her head. Had he ever lied to her? No. He’d never had a problem with telling people how it was, even if it meant he couldn't sway them. Liam was many things, but liar?

  The cracked windows in the back of the building sent a chill through her, as if the ghost of her past had possessed her and nudged her to face the future. She found herself in front of the stairs that led to her childhood home. For a moment, she dared to see the building in the way it had once been, with the bright walls, clean, shiny floor, people coming in and out, and filled with laughter.

  She grasped the post to the stairs, but something kept her planted on the first floor. Her memory bank flipped until she settled on the days just before they left Riverbend. She remembered hearing something. Something strange. What was it?