Hadrian's Rage

by Patricia-Marie Budd

  “Let me be very clear, Melissa; being heterosexual is not illegal in Hadrian. It never was, and I pray it never will be. Even the new anti-heterosexual laws don’t make being heterosexual illegal. In fact, ironically enough, this new law is less harsh than the original one that denied any heterosexual contact, including hugging, kissing, and walking arm-in-arm. All this new law does is specify penile vaginal intercourse, ‘aggravated heterosexuality,’14 as illegal. It’s this act, as we all know, that’s punishable with exile or assisted suicide.”

  “So you must agree with their sentence, then?”

  “I may not like it, but if they’re sentenced, if they’re proven guilty, that will be their fate. But how’s that to be done?”

  “If they’d pass Bill 52, then a forced medical examination would quickly determine the presence of sperm inside the woman’s vagina.”

  “Only if the medical exam occurred within a reasonable time limit. If the two haven’t had sex for at least five days before the test, there’s no sperm left alive. Alicia and Tikaani have been in military custody for over two weeks. If you can’t definitively prove they had penile vaginal sex, you’ve no right to exile or impose assisted suicide.”

  “The condition of her hymen—”

  “Don’t even go there, Melissa. To do so is to put every woman at risk. There are numerous nonsexual activities that can cause the hymen to break. Accusing all women with a broken hymen of penile vaginal intercourse is dangerous, uninformed, and misleading.”

  “You’re right, Jason. I apologize. Let’s move on. What about Alicia’s brother, the young man accused of having sheltered the couple? As you know, viewers, Alicia’s brother, Jacques Provencher, is also on trial, having been charged with offering ‘premises and aid to active heterosexuals.’ Under the new law, ‘to harbor active heterosexuals,’ turning a blind eye to their dangerous activities, is punishable with five to seven years’ service in Hadrian’s military. Since Hadrian has no penal system, nor is the government looking to form one (‘to do so,’ according to President Stiles, ‘would be to waste tax dollars on crime when it is needed to capture carbon and save the planet’), all those convicted of ‘aiding and abetting the destruction of the planet through the willful act of shielding procreators’ will be required to make amends through mandatory military service. And what about the government’s plan to sweep the sewers of Hadrian for heterosexual youth?”

  “Melissa, please, you haven’t allowed me even to answer your last question.”

  “Sorry, Jason, but we’re running out of time. The upsurge in runaway heterosexual youth attempting to avoid reeducation, or those who have been kicked out by parents, has increased. Do you think this is the unfortunate result of legalizing heterosexuality?”

  “Humph. Many of these youths, the majority of whom are bisexual, are fighting back against the necessary restrictions placed on their sexual desires. When parents, friends, or educators discover they’ve opposite-sex attractions, they bolt.”

  “Too many of these youth are spotted hiding in Hadrian’s sewer systems. It is really disgusting when you think about it.”

  “Melissa, these poor kids have nowhere to go. They’ve set up makeshift homes down there to live in absolute squalor.”15

  “Some citizens believe these youth get exactly what they deserve. Considering their chosen lifestyle, it does seem an appropriate location. Due to heterosexual sex, our planet has been turned into a sewer. What do you say to that?”

  “I say no one deserves a life like that. We must remember that sexuality is a fluid reality. Many of us, the majority of Hadrian’s citizens, whether we like it or not, are bisexual. Less than 15 percent of our citizens are fully homosexual. If our scientists are as accurate with genetic coding as they claim, even fewer are fully heterosexual. That renders the majority of us bisexual. That doesn’t even take into account the transgendered.”

  “Yes, the issue of transgendered individuals is tricky. We’ve always accepted gender dysphoria, but by the same token, we do need all our citizens to conceive one child to maintain a stable population.”

  “I see no problem there. Most transgendered women donate to Hadrian’s sperm bank before transitioning. After transitioning, the transgendered female is sterile so her sexual activity isn’t a threat to human population.”

  “Yes, but what about transgendered men?”

  “When these men are still in female bodies, Hadrian has provision for them either to give birth before transitioning or to donate eggs pre-transition in order to have a surrogate goddess give birth later.”

  “Yes, but most of these women—”

  “—men—”

  “—yes, yes, men, choose transitioning at such a young age—”

  “—with parental consent—”

  “—yes, yes, with parental consent—transitioning at such a young age, they’re not able to donate eggs. Once fully men, they expect Hadrian to provide them with sperm, eggs, and surrogacy for free.”

  “Of course. This also happens with our transgendered women who transition early in youth and are no longer able to donate sperm.”

  “Yes! They also expect free sperm, eggs, and surrogacy based on birth male status. That is a very heavy burden on Hadrian’s tax dollars.”

  “I see no problem, Melissa. Hadrian’s tax dollars are designed to support gender fluidity as well as the restoration of our planet.”

  “Don’t forget education and the military. With such expensive strains on our tax dollars, shouldn’t individuals who transition bear the financial burden for their choice.”

  “Melissa, please. You know as well as I that one does not choose to be gender dysphoric. Hadrian doesn’t condemn anyone for having been born in the wrong body. We accept and embrace all forms of sexuality and gender expression. There’s only one form of sexual expression that we can’t allow and that’s heterosexual penile vaginal intercourse. We ban this solely due to the current state of human population and the disastrous environmental conditions our ancestors left to us.”

  “Yes, Jason, that is the key point. We must ban heterosexual sex ‘due to overpopulation and environmental chaos.’ It was so wonderful hosting you on our show again. Thanks again for coming.”

  “Thanks for having me, and for occasionally letting me speak.”

  “Well, that’s all for tonight, folks. Stay tuned for our regular Salve! newscast.”

  Vale!

  13 https://www.hrw.org/news/2014/04/28/double-threat-gay-men-syria

  14 http://76crimes.com/2014/04/18/2-ugandan-men-face-trial-on-gay-sex-charges/

  15 http://76crimes.com/2014/04/17/jamaica-youth-minister-

  to-develop-plans-for-lgbt-homeless-youth/

  What in Hadrian’s Name…?

  As soon as the studio lights click off and room lighting is back to normal, Jason stands up and addresses Melissa Eagleton. “What in Hadrian’s name was that? You call that an interview. I felt like I was being bombarded with a Gatling gun.”

  Melissa, too, stands. Her eyes shoot daggers Jason’s way. All the anger seething inside her is projected at him for the moment. Through gritted teeth, she curses before uttering, “Not now, Mr. Warith.”

  “Not now?” he shouts back. “If not now, when?” Having turned away from him, Melissa refuses to look back. She quickly walks out of the studio as motion sensors slide a portion of the wall open for her. Jason follows at her heels, gripping the door’s frame as he calls out to her, “I thought you had more integrity than that Ms. Eagleton!” Seeing she is ignoring him, Jason turns and promptly leaves the studio.

  Jason Warith’s remark has not gone unnoticed. It stings Melissa, and she flushes with anger and shame, knowing full well the accuracy of his critical comments. “So did I,” she whispers to herself as she walks down the hall towards the production manager’s office. As soon as she enters Darien Dumas’s outer office, she is halted by his secretary, Tam Tuan, who is annoyed at being interrupted in his act of preening before his handheld mirro
r. He quickly ceases his grooming in an attempt to deter Melissa’s passage into his boss’s central office. “Out of my way, Tam,” Melissa orders.

  “He’s not going to take well to you barging in on him. He’s in the middle of a voc conference.”

  Melissa turns on her heels and stares down the young man. “Really? Well, he had loads of time to interrupt me during my broadcast. I think it only fair I cut him off during his voc con!” With that, Melissa swivels back to the door, but she is stopped when the motion sensor doesn’t open it for her. Melissa bangs on the wall to no avail. As with all the doors in the studio, Darien Dumas’s door blends in with the wall, the camouflage so perfect that if you didn’t know a door was there, you would never notice it.

  Tam immediately responds to his voc. “I’m sorry, sir. It’s Ms. Eagleton. She insists on seeing you.” Glaring Melissa’s way, Tam triumphantly relays his boss’s message. “He said to take a seat. He’ll be with you in a moment.”

  A moment turns into forty-five grueling minutes with Tam refusing to acknowledge her existence, ignoring her every request, and not even bothering to offer her a beverage. Finally, he looks up and smiles, “Mr. Dumas will see you now.”

  Incensed, Melissa refuses to say, “Thank you.” Cringing, she walks through Dumas’s door with Tam’s snide remark “Rude bitch” shot at her from behind her back.

  As soon as she enters Dumas’s office, Melissa marches straight to his desk and launches into her harangue. “Would you please explain to me what that was all about?”

  Dumas doesn’t even look up from his work; he has a series of files projected in front of him and concentrates all his attention on them. To Melissa, he gives just a series of backward waves. His voice is cold, calculating, and very business-like. “My voc cons are none of your business, Ms. Eagleton.”

  “I am not interested in your voc calls—”

  “Conferences,” he reminds her without once looking up from his work.

  “Fine, conferences, whatever. I want to know why you kept interrupting me and imposing all those ridiculous questions for me to ask Jason Warith?”

  Finally, Dumas blinks off his work. His grey eyes bore into her like ice. “Ridiculous questions? Now, you see, Ms. Eagleton, that is the very negative attitude that is affecting Salve!’s ratings.”

  “Salve!’s ratings were just fine until you upended things.”

  “‘Ridiculous’ and now ‘upended.’ You think quite poorly of Hadrian’s National News Agency.”

  “Hadrian’s National News—Salve!—is my baby! Andrzej Sobieski and I made this news show what it is today: the most watched, most respected newscast in all of Hadrian!”

  “That may have been the case at one point, Ms. Eagleton, but the ratings tell a very different story.”

  “The ratings were just fine—”

  “Until you changed.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. You changed and you are trying to drag Hadrian down with you. Well, I won’t let that happen. Hadrian is not a liberal country; it never has been. We are conservative for a reason. Our planet demands we be conservative. The very safety of Hadrian’s citizens depends on our controlling individuals who have crazy opposite sex urges; urges that rebel against our very being. You and your subversive het’ro advocacy are not wanted here. I took over Andrzej Sobieski’s position as production manager at the insistence of our stockholders and viewers, who are fully aware you are intentionally dismantling this nation’s ideals, leading us into the very gutter where those strai rats have taken up residence.” Melissa, who is too stunned even to respond, stares at Dumas, her mouth hanging open. “Quit gaping at me like a moron. Aren’t you listening? You’re out! You’re fired!”

  Stammering at the realization of what has just happened, Melissa attempts to speak, “B-but—”

  “But what? Wasn’t I clear enough? You. Are. Fired.”

  Finally finding her voice, Melissa retorts, “I’m the face of Salve! I bring Hadrian the news.”

  “Let me correct your misconception—you were the face of Salve! You are no longer. The face of Salve! must be a true lover of Hadrian. You do not love this country. You want to see us descend into a state of abomination. No, Hadrian needs a new face. The face of Salve! must be Hadrian’s lover!”

  “Hadrian’s lover? Are you insane?”

  “I might ask that question of you, but I don’t care enough to want to.”

  Desperate now, Melissa blurts out, “You can’t replace me.”

  “I already have. My voc con was with Danny Duggin—”

  “Danny Duggin? That actor who—”

  “That’s right—that actor who portrayed Antinous in the docudrama Hadrian’s Lover. Who better to be the real face of Hadrian than Hadrian’s lover himself? He’s young, he’s handsome, he’s loved, and he’s moving into your office today. Security will accompany you as you clear out your belongings, and then it will escort you off the property.” Looking up to the right to register the time display on his voc, he orders, “You have one hour.” Indicating that their meeting has ended, Darien Dumas blinks up his work files and resumes reading. Looking up briefly, he waves her away with a curt, “Good day, Ms. Eagleton.”

  *****

  Salve!

  The New Face of HNN

  HNN—Danny Duggin Reporting

  Good evening, Hadrian! Yes, I know, “What’s this?” you say. Well, I, Danny Duggin, am the new face of Hadrian’s National News Source, Salve! I am confidently hopeful you will come to know me as a dedicated news host, and I look forward to serving you with hard-hitting journalist interviews. Many of you may remember me from my role as Antinous in the mini-series that aired a few years ago, Hadrian’s Lover. After retiring from acting, you can imagine my surprise when Darien Dumas, the production manager for Salve!, cast me as Melissa Eagleton’s replacement. I assure you I felt most deeply honored to accept this new challenge. And now, here I am today, beginning my new life journey as your host to all things newsworthy in Hadrian.

  First, no doubt, you are all wondering what happened with Melissa Eagleton. There is very little news on that front; there simply were irreconcilable differences between Ms. Eagleton and HNN. To elaborate further, as Mr. Dumas said, would bring dishonor to one who has served Hadrian so well for so long. So, let’s leave it at that, shall we? I don’t know about you, but I loved Melissa, so I would never want to say or do anything that might damage that good woman’s reputation. I just hope I am capable of stepping into her shoes, metaphorically so to speak, though she did have good taste in footwear.

  Oh, oh, my ear is speaking. I’m plugged in to our production manager. He has promised to help guide me through the first few Salve! episodes since there was no time for any training. It seems I need to move on to more newsy stuff. I am here, after all, to present to you hard-hitting, cutting-edge information about all things interesting in Hadrian. HNN’s mission has always been to keep Hadrian’s citizens informed about key events—everything from the daily machinations of President Stiles’s government to the fun and frolic of everyday citizens’ lives. That’s right; we want you to be a part of the new Salve! Please voc us your stories, everything from the sublime to the ridiculous. Let’s share and have fun in Hadrian! What better way to reduce the tension in our lives by laughing at all our silly little human follies?

  In fact, just to get the ball rolling, my partner Ricky volunteered to share the first short excerpt of daily life humor. I am so embarrassed, but if we are going to ask you to send in your silliest moments, I guess it’s only fair to share with you one of mine. Last Sunday, Ricky and I spent the day meandering through Hadrian’s Zoo. Oh, it is such a beautiful location, but you still have to be careful. These animals are, after all, mostly wild. The zoo trainers are very careful to ensure the most dangerous animals are kept securely locked away and pose no harm to humans. Still, there are one or two locations at the zoo where you can walk amongst the more gentle creatures. One such place is Monkey Mountain. Oh, folks
, I am so embarrassed. I could positively kill Ricky for having voc cam’d this. Anyway, there I am on screen; you can’t see Ricky in the shot since he’s the one recording. Now, you may not know this about me, but although I’m dedicated to being trim and in good shape, I am absolutely addicted to junk munch. Prior to entering Monkey Mountain, I positively loaded up on the junk munch. Now, there are numerous signs—oh, look; Ricky even zoomed in on one—that warn zoo visitors not to bring any food items onto Monkey Mountain, and Ricky even reminded me, after the fact, of course. Significant others! Additionally, the zoo brochure I had downloaded to my voc also provided the same warning. Needless to say, I failed to heed those warnings—perhaps I should say, failed to read them. Oh, here it comes. As you can see, I’m thinking these cute little monkeys are just wanting to play with me, but, oh no, there it is—the attack. They made a beeline for every pocket I had stuffed with food. Oh, and there goes the shirt pocket, and the whole front of my beautiful green garden of hope silk shirt. I loved that shirt! We recycled the material, of course, but it will never be my beautiful green shirt ever again. Oh my, and my entire front torso is exposed. Well, it is a good thing I keep in shape; otherwise, I would be displaying belly fat to all of Hadrian right now. Well, all I can say is thank Hadrian that’s over.

  But it wasn’t that painful, really, and I must admit it is fun and cathartic to be able to laugh along with others at myself. So, now that I’ve exposed my soft underbelly, so to speak, it’s your turn, Hadrian. I can’t wait to see your vid cam entries!

  Vale!

  Catastrophe!

  “No!” Cantara is adamant. “Politis didn’t out you, and she wouldn’t want you outing yourself.”

  Sid reaches over and holds Tara in his arms. She is crying and refuses to listen to reason. “Cantara is right.” Dean nods in agreement.

  Tara starts ripping at her hair in agitation. “It’s my fault, people. They’re going to fire her!”