What If It's Love?: A Contemporary Romance Set in Paris (Bistro La Bohème Book 1)

by Nichols, Alix

  When Jeanne collapsed onto the chair across from Amanda’s, they made small talk, and then Amanda dived in for information. “So, what’s up with our common friends?”

  “Same old. Pepe is still pursuing his double goal of becoming an authentic Parisian waiter and hooking up with a Nordic blonde. Both with remarkable lack of success. Rob has been doing a lot of double shifts lately. Says he needs the money.”

  Amanda nodded. “Yes, he hasn’t paid the fees for the last school year yet. He told Mat and me he had a foolproof plan, but I’m not sure a few double shifts at the bistro will solve his problem. What he needs is to land a good job so he could get a bank loan.”

  “I didn’t realize Rob needed the money so urgently. That explains why he—” Jeanne bit her tongue.

  “Why he what?”

  “Um . . . why he’s been so out of sorts lately. There’s also his . . . situation with Lena, of course.”

  Amanda raised an eyebrow. “What situation?”

  “You know, their falling out. Rob’s been very affected by it.”

  Amanda couldn’t bear it anymore. Jeanne knew something that she didn’t. And she probably wasn’t going to tell her, unless . . .

  She leaned in. “Jeanne, I’m going to be frank with you, and I’d like you to be as frank in return. I’ve had my sights on Rob for some time now. You see, we’re perfect for each other in every way.”

  “Oh. But then why didn’t you come forward earlier? He was free for indecently long.”

  “Well, not really. After he and Camille broke up a year ago, she had a hard time moving on. So she suggested they continue as “friends with benefits” until one of them meets someone new.”

  “Never a good idea, that.”

  Amanda rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me! But he went with it. And you know Rob—he behaved like he was still with her. He wasn’t open to something new.”

  “And you were too proud to declare your feelings.”

  “It wasn’t just that.” Amanda sighed. “Once you start as friends—close friends—it isn’t easy to . . . to tell your best buddy how you really feel about him.”

  Jeanne nodded.

  “And then a few months ago he finally put an end to his weird thing with Camille, and I was beginning to take heart.”

  Amanda smoothed her hair back. “Jeanne, I need to know if there’s something going on between Rob and Lena. You’ll understand that I’d rather not tell him about my feelings if he’s falling for someone else.”

  Jeanne shifted uncomfortably. “Wow, Amanda, I had no idea. When you kept badgering Lena in Nice, I thought you were just being mean.”

  Amanda smirked. “I was just being mean. I had no clue Rob and Lena were an item.”

  “Well, they weren’t at the time. Anyway, to answer your question, yes, something happened between Rob and Lena after our trip to Nice, but then Rob . . . let’s just say, he did something stupid, and Lena has been refusing to talk to him ever since.”

  Amanda would have liked more detail, but it looked like this was all she was going to get.

  Jeanne picked up her coffee cup and stood. “Got to go—my break is over. On the subject of Rob and Lena, I think it’s a matter of time until they iron things out. So, yeah, you may want to hold any declarations for now.”

  Amanda opened her mouth to say something, but Jeanne beat her to it. “It goes without saying you can count on my discretion.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it,” Amanda said.

  When Jeanne left, she pulled out her phone to check her e-mails. But she couldn’t focus. The letters refused to come together in a meaningful manner to form words and sentences. So she just stared at her phone, her mind processing what she’d learned from Jeanne. She was still convinced that she and Rob were a perfect match, while Lena was wrong for him in every way. But Lena was new and exotic, and so Rob was infatuated with her. It wouldn’t last. He’d come around. This was a minor setback, not a defeat. She’d waited for two years, she could wait a few more weeks. Her mom had taught her that the world belonged to those who wait.

  After this sleepless night, I’m awash in lightness,

  Poised and serene—a star in the Milky Way.

  Rainbows fill every sound, erupting brightly,

  Icy-cold streets smell like Florence in early May.

  Marina Tsvetaeva

  EIGHT

  Rob put his hand on Lena’s knee and pushed her skirt up. He began to unbutton her shirt with his other hand. Lena cupped his face and leaned in, closing her eyes in anticipation of a ground-shattering kiss.

  “We can’t,” Rob said, leaning away. “We need to find everyone involved in trafficking uranium and apprehend them.”

  “What?”

  Lena woke up, confused, aroused, and dizzy. She blinked a few times, while her mind adjusted to the real world. The curtains in her bedroom were drawn, softening the summer morning’s sharp light. Lena looked at the vacant side of the bed and imagined Rob lying there, gazing at her. The image was so vivid she could almost hear his breathing and feel the warmth of his skin. She longed to touch him. She yearned for his touch. Was she in love? Was it too late to fight her feelings? Or was she merely lusting after him, her mind overpowered by physical need?

  She got up and opened the window. The street bustled with delivery vans, bicycles, and pedestrians rushing to their workplaces, dragging their children to day care or walking their dogs. Lena closed her eyes and listened. Through the cacophony of sounds that included someone’s television and a couple of sparrows chirping animatedly, she could hear the vibrant, rhythmic pulse of the city.

  She pushed her hair away from her face and sighed in acceptance of what she was about to do. Whether she was in love or in lust was a moot question, really. In any case, it probably wasn’t going to end well for her. But the truth was, she had to give Rob a second chance, or else all those what-ifs and might-have-beens plaguing her would soon make her sick, mentally and physically. She wasn’t being stupid or self-destructive. She was merely making a rational choice between probable calamity and impending disaster.

  After that aha moment, the day dragged as though it had fallen from the normal time-space continuum into a slow-motion black hole. Having decided to go down to La Bohème around midnight so that she could catch Rob just before the end of his shift, Lena tried to occupy herself the best she could. She read, translated, read some more, ate, changed into a different pair of jeans, tied her hair up, let it loose, tied it up again. When her dad called at seven, she greeted him with a degree of enthusiasm that made him suspicious.

  “Is everything all right with you, Lenochka?” he asked.

  “I’m fine, Dad, just a little restless.”

  She went on to ask him a million questions about Anna and the wedding plans. After they hung up, she tried to read again, but she was too antsy to sit down for more than a few minutes. At eleven thirty, she grabbed her purse, threw on a cardigan, and walked out of her apartment.

  The bistro was winding up, but Rob was nowhere to be seen. Probably helping in the kitchen, Lena thought. She sat down and waited for Jeanne, who was clearing up a table, to notice her.

  “Look who’s here!” Jeanne beamed. “Is it really you or an apparition?” She pinched Lena’s arm.

  “Ouch.” Lena swatted Jeanne’s hand away.

  “Hmm. Feels real enough . . .”

  “Ha-ha. Hey, I was wondering—”

  “He’s inside. Should be done in a few minutes. Sit tight. Shall I get you a glass of Chablis?”

  Lena nodded, realizing that her dream about Jeanne remembering her preferences had come true. Must be an auspicious sign.

  Rob walked out of the kitchen, an empty tray in his hand, and looked around. When he saw Lena, he started and then stopped. He looked at her, searching her eyes for an answer to his unspoken question. Lena held his gaze. It took her all her willpower not to stand up and run to him. She wanted him to come to her.

  Finally, a smile spread on Ro
b’s face, and he strode to her table. He sat down across from her and took her hand.

  “Does this mean I’m forgiven?”

  “This means you are on probation for an indeterminate length of time. If I see the smallest sign of spy activity, I’ll leave. I’ll move out of here . . . and I’ll tell your mother.”

  “Oh no, please, not my mom! She has a really heavy hand.” Rob’s expression grew more serious. “Lena, you have no idea how glad I am that you came around.”

  She gave him a long look. He hadn’t actually said he’d stop spying. “Can you give me your word?”

  “What if we did it together? You’ll tell me what I can report. Isn’t it a brilliant idea?”

  Her mouth thinned. “Is this a joke?”

  “Lena, the guy is so desperate he’d take anything.” Rob smiled brightly. “The stuff I’ve been giving him so far was totally harmless.”

  “And you’re the best judge of what’s harmless for my family?”

  He said nothing, the smile slipping from his face.

  She shook her head. “I don’t get it. Why on earth would you wish to continue?”

  “It’s good money. And I need it,” he said, a hard edge in his voice.

  “I can lend you money or get my dad to lend you as much as you need.”

  “Out of the question.”

  “Why?”

  “I just can’t. Things would become weird between us.”

  She searched his eyes. “Because now they aren’t weird at all?”

  He only sighed in reply.

  When she spoke again, her tone was firm. “If you want to be with me, Rob, you’ve got to stop reporting to this guy. The choice is yours.”

  He nodded slowly. “OK. I’ll quit.” Then he smirked and added, “From now on, I’ll only accept jobs that don’t involve snooping around.”

  “Will you please consider borrowing from me?” she offered again.

  “If you want to be with me, Lena,”—he gave her a sly look, as he echoed her ultimatum—“you’ve got to stop fretting. By the way, what made you change your mind about giving me a second chance?”

  “Curiosity.” She smiled, trying to appear nonchalant.

  Could Rob see through her? Could he guess that “misery” would have described her state over the past week much better?

  He didn’t say anything but began to stroke her hand, first gently, then more daringly.

  She’d lost herself in his eyes, spellbound, when Jeanne said, “Rob, I can finish up here while you go change. We’re nearly done, anyway. And then you two lovebirds can leave, so I can close the shop and go home.”

  Rob jumped to his feet. “Lena, please wait here. I’ll be back in a sec. And thank you, Jeanne!” he shouted already halfway to the kitchen.

  When he reemerged three minutes later, having changed into jeans and a T-shirt, Lena was waiting by the exit.

  He reached her in three long strides. “I know a cool place just a few blocks from here on rue La Fayette. They’re open all night. Want to check it out?”

  “No.”

  She took his hand and led him to the green gate, and then inside her building.

  * * *

  Rob’s heart raced. He had spent so many hours fantasizing about making love to Lena and then reminding himself it would never happen, that the notion migrated to the realm of impossible dreams. Was he really going to be able to touch her, kiss her, hold her the way he’d held her in his fantasies?

  When Lena led him into the tiny elevator, and he found himself facing her, their bodies almost touching for lack of space, he could wait no longer. He backed her against the wall and pressed his lips to hers. Dazed by the pleasure of it, he slid his tongue into her mouth and kissed her with an urgency that bordered on desperation. She tasted exactly like she looked—sweet, delicate, and infinitely lovely. He’d been hooked on that taste since their first kiss, hungering for it, craving it. When the elevator screeched to a halt, Rob had to summon all the willpower he possessed to break the kiss and tear himself from Lena.

  Once inside the apartment, she turned to him, her cheeks flushed and her lips a little swollen from kissing.

  “Would you like a drink?”

  He slowly shook his head, a tiny smile flickering in his eyes, and Lena’s blush deepened to crimson red. She must have understood his unspoken reply: He wasn’t thirsty for a drink—he was thirsty for her.

  Without a word, Lena took his hand again and led him to the bedroom. After they entered, she lit two big candles placed on either side of the bed. Shadows began to dance on the walls, and a light scent of jasmine filled the room.

  “I know it’s corny, but I don’t care,” she said with a smile that blew Rob’s mind.

  “Corny’s fine. I like corny.”

  He pulled her to him and renewed the kiss. His hands roamed her back then plunged into her hair. He delighted in its satiny feel, its soft, silky smoothness against his fingertips. She gasped with pleasure. His lips moved down to kiss her neck, and he began to undo the little buttons on her blouse. He was clumsy with excitement. As soon as he managed to open the top three, he bared one of her shoulders and rained small kisses on it, then teased his tongue up along her graceful neck and back to her mouth. He couldn’t get enough of her.

  In his fantasies about this moment he always went slowly, demonstrating his prowess, driving her to beg him to make love to her. But as her tongue darted into his mouth with an eagerness that equaled his own, he knew that slow wasn’t an option this time. Without breaking the kiss, he undid the remaining buttons, removed Lena’s shirt and unfastened the clasp of her bra. She slid her thumbs under his T-shirt and tugged it up and over his head. The rest of their clothing flew off in a heated frenzy until they stood in front of each other completely bare. For a few seconds Rob remained motionless, gazing at Lena, mesmerized by the play of light and shadow on her small firm breasts, her lithe thighs, and her flat tummy.

  Then suddenly he could wait no more. He took a step toward her, flattened his hands against her lower back and pressed the entire length of his body against hers. She moaned softly and threw her arms around his neck. He drew in her intoxicating fragrance and eased her onto the bed.

  * * *

  Lena woke up and lay still for a moment, her eyes closed. As the sunlight tickled her skin, she listened to Rob’s even breathing. By the time they had finally fallen asleep after making love, talking and making love again, it was almost dawn. Lena remembered words, gestures, and movements from that magical candle-lit night. She was afraid that if she opened her eyes now, the enchantment would be over.

  When she finally did, what she saw took her breath away. Rob was still asleep, lying on his stomach, his face turned away from her. His arms were raised above his head, hugging the pillow. He had uncovered himself in his sleep, and she could see him—all of him—in his stark male beauty. A ray of sunshine had snuck into the bedroom through a narrow gap between the curtains and landed squarely on Rob’s tight, muscled butt. After she looked her fill, her gaze slid upward along his gorgeous torso to his sinewy arms. And then she turned away. For if she didn’t, she was going to press her body against his and wake him up.

  When she turned back a few minutes later, Rob was still lying on his stomach, but this time awake and looking at her.

  “Good morning.” His husky morning voice was incredibly sexy.

  He shifted, placed his hand on Lena’s waist and pulled her close. He smelled deliciously, dizzyingly masculine. She kissed him on the collarbone and the neck, and then trailed her lips along his jawline to his mouth. His lips were soft and warm, and his morning stubble grated a little against her chin.

  When she pulled away after a long, lush kiss, Rob’s hand that had been holding her waist, went up to cup her cheek. “I don’t know how I’m going to manage it, but I’ve got to go.”

  Lena drew back a little. “OK.”

  “I have a job interview at eleven, and I need to get home to change into a suit. The
interview is for a junior managerial position. I probably don’t stand a chance, but I need to keep trying.”

  “Go get them,” she said.

  He placed his hand back on her waist and trailed his fingertips along the curve of her hip. “I’ll need all my control to make it through this day before I can be in bed with you again. Or on the couch, a chair, the kitchen table—anything.”

  Lena bit her lower lip. “Hmm. Let’s put a pin on that last suggestion. The kitchen table sounds . . . promising.”

  She could hardly believe she’d spoken like this to a man—without a hint of inhibition.

  Within a second he was on top of her, propping himself up on his elbows, his pupils dilated with desire.

  “I’m going to be late for my interview.” He bent down and suckled her nipple. “But it doesn’t matter.” He suckled her other nipple. “Because if I don’t get inside you right now, I’ll die.”

  * * *

  As soon as he walked out of the small meeting room where interviews were being held, Rob dialed Boris’s number.

  “Rob, what have you got for me?” Boris greeted him in his businesslike manner.

  “I want to call our deal off.”

  “Oh. You hit the jackpot?”

  “I wish . . . I just can’t do it anymore.”

  I promised her.

  Rob stepped out of the shiny granite-floored lobby and filled his lungs with warm summer air. It was a relief to put an end to his short-lived spying career and be at peace with his conscience again. Even if, for now, he had no clue where he could get the funds to pay the school fee. Unless, of course, he did “hit the jackpot” by quickly landing a good job. But the chances of that happening, given the current job market, were modest.

  “Are you sure about this or are you trying to renegotiate the fee?” Boris asked dryly.

  “I’m sure. Besides, I don’t see how it’s a good deal for you. Lena and her father rarely talk shop, and most of the info I give you is useless.”

  “Most but not all,” Boris said. “Listen. Give me one more juicy morsel like the one about Malakhov’s interest in Raduga, then quit. I’ll raise your fee sixfold for a scoop like that.”