A Toiling Darkness

by Jaliza Burwell

  I mentally swore a string of curses. I should have left the city until this was all over. Could’ve, should’ve and obviously didn’t.

  “How do you know?” I asked, still scanning for them. “Does everyone know?”

  “No…not many know and I only know because they gave me a little visit. Someone in the city has been naughty.”

  “How long are they going to be around?”

  “Who knows?” He sighed and rubbed at his face. “They are only gathering information right now.”

  It explained why his skin was extra silvery. Lord Kay was upping his magic juice, preparing for the worse.

  I swore out loud this time, using the vast repertoire of words I learned over the years.

  “Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” he said.

  We sat in a companionable silence, both our thoughts on the same thing. When was the Consort leaving? Who attracted their attention? I couldn’t help but feel I was on their minds. Years of guilt built up into this little hard ball in my mind and it kept telling me that whatever the Consort did to me, I deserved. It agreed with the little curse they put on me, it would support anything they decided.

  Eventually the showcase ended when we didn’t notice. I blinked a couple times, surprised that time went by quickly and the arena was already emptying.

  Yeah, the Consort had that kind of affect on even us false immortals. We may not be able to die but the Consort had the power to make our eternity a hell.

  Chapter 12

  We moved to Kay’s main office. It was a large office filled with old leather-bound books on magic, yellowing papers in mounds everywhere, and photos decorating the wall strategically to show Kay’s expansive history. The room was cold, a weird contrast to his body heat. The waves of hot nervous magic calmed down a little after the showcase ended and he was almost back to his self-absorbed self again. Probably happy that the clients were gone, meaning the Consort were too. For now at least. The fighters stayed behind, going to their quarters underground to rest or talk or compare muscle size.

  Kay leaned back in his office chair, swiveling a little with his hands clasped over his stomach and his eyes closed. They have been closed for the past five minutes. I’m fine with the silence. I kept myself busy, still thinking about the Consort. I added that on to the list of my problems, but kept it below finding out who was Kalen’s master. Right now, nothing could top out the importance of that one. If I can kill the master then I can get Kalen off my back.

  Neither of us said anything, neither of us wanted to.

  Probably about another five minutes passed before his eyes snapped open and he looked at me. I narrowed my own, not missing the gleam in them as he thought mischievous thoughts. The roguish smile on his face told me I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say.

  “Show me your true human form.”

  Yeah. I didn’t like it at all. So much that shocked laughter escaped my lips.

  “Why?” I asked, taken aback by the demand.

  “It’s been so long since I’ve last seen it. I miss your beauty.”

  “Only you would think that. Not many like it very much.”

  He tilted his head, staring at me closely. I tried not to shift in my seat A long time has passed since I was in that form. A whole lot of mess came with it too.

  Was this considered me avoiding my issues? Naw.

  “That’s only because they don’t know any better,” he replied, looking solemn. Those words were starting to become some kind of annoying mantra others kept saying to me. Only because they don’t know any better. They were full of contradictions to me. What have I done except try to make it so they did know better?

  I was nice once, full of positive emotions. I cared, I cried, laughed and smiled. But they took it away from me. They chipped away at my personality until all that was left was anger and apathy. I didn’t smile, I smirked. I didn’t cry, I lashed out. My laughing became manic. I became mean. Because humans didn’t know any better and they took more than I could give.

  I growled. “You don’t know what you’re asking me to do. I haven’t been in that form for nearly two hundred years.”

  “Since after Eithna, right?” His expression softened.

  Kay was actually the one to help me create this little child form. It only involved two months of pain as my body shrunk and reshaped itself and then another couple of months getting used to being weaker. Becoming a child weakened me considerably—more than halved my powers. But it helped me fall off the grid. It constructed a door between me and my abyss of powers, though lately that door has been weakening.

  There was a reason Kalen couldn’t recognize me as the one he was searching for, well, other than the fact that he wouldn’t listen to his soul. My power felt different, not so…dark. As a child, I played with shadows, as my true human form, I played with night itself.

  “If I show you, will you tell me what I want to know?” I asked, getting used to the idea of being myself again.

  I miss who I really am, even if I refuse to admit it most of the time. I missed being able to communicate with those who hid in the darkness, I missed the true control I had, and I especially missed the feeling of being complete. Maybe that was why I considered Kay’s request so easily. I smiled, remembering the conversations I had with El after we separated. All he had to do was focus on me and then talk into the night, and I could hear it. I haven’t heard his voice in so long.

  Was I going to regret this decision? I hoped not.

  He nodded, a glint of excitement growing in his eyes.

  “It’s your funeral. Just remember I won’t have complete control. It’s been too long. And don’t forget the slauve. He will sense me.”

  “I have wards up, you should be safe.”

  “You say that until he swings in here like Tarzan and smites both our asses,” I said wryly.

  “I feel like you just mixed up references.”

  I shrugged. “Who knows? It’s hard to keep track of them all sometimes.”

  With that said, I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to relax. Losing the childish form was a lot easier than it was to make it. I simply went back to who I was. I felt myself reconnect with powers I haven’t had access to. The door kind of crumbled away. I reached out to the deep dark pit of my powers and it responded, filling me up, making me whole again. In moments, I grew into my true human form.

  I flinched, an old conversation with Eithna coming to mind.

  Sometimes I wonder about you. You have all this power and yet you don’t do anything with it. You would probably just waste away in some hole if you weren’t mentoring me.

  I could care less. I just want to be left alone for once.

  The things I would do with your power.

  Then take it. I don’t want it.

  With my real form came even more power. The lights dimmed slowly until they went completely out, all the lights sniffed out of the energy saving light bulbs. They were no longer going to last the hundred years you were guaranteed to have. My powers washed over me, filled up the missing void inside of me. My body tingled, feeling a little high off of the rush.

  This was who I was, who I was meant to be and who I always deny myself to be. Even now I worked at keeping myself under control, clamping down on my urges. El taught me enough. I took a couple of deep breaths, willing my power to listen to me, its master. It finally listened, but barely. It was neglected for so long and I presented it a chance to be released. I had to fight with it and force it to my will.

  No, we aren’t going to kill Kay this time either.

  No, leave those creatures alone. We don’t need chaos right now.

  This city is off limits, come back to me.

  It took a moment and I just stood there, watching everything as if it was the light of day as Kay lit candles. I blinked a couple times, readjusting to the little bit of light and Kay was now standing only a couple of feet from me. I watched with some satisfaction as a shudder crawled down his body. He didn’t balk in
fear like a lesser being. This was how I knew who was stronger or on par with me. He stood his ground and smiled, glad to see me as me.

  I guess I can admit it was nice to feel like myself for once. I smiled back, not caring that I was stark naked. My clothes didn’t make it through the transformation. A pity too, it was such a nice simple dress. I pulled at the shadows around me and fashioned what looked like a black outfit. It consisted of a low cut shirt showing off the mounds of my breasts and my midriff. The pants were formed to fit right against my skin, making it seem like leather but a hundred times more comfortable. Others would see it as such, not knowing that I was actually naked. I mentally shrugged—I was always a modest person. Not that Kay could make me blush. He never looked at me like something he wanted to fuck. The look was always closer to possession. I was something he wanted to possess and bend to his will.

  “Beautiful, absolutely beautiful,” he breathed out, sounding breathless. He slowly reached out and touched the black locks of my hair. I no longer looked up at him, we were actually about the same height. It gave me a new perspective on his facial features. As a child, his eyes looked to be a brownish-grey type of hazel with very little green. As an adult, his eyes had more green in them, very blue and green at the same time. They were captivating, a woman could get lost in them if she wasn’t careful. I know I almost did so long ago. The magical currents moved through his eyes, bringing out a tinge of yellow.

  I made out the reflection of my own eyes in his iris. Completely black, no whites at all.

  I stepped back and out of his reach. “Talk.” I cringed at the powerful sound of my voice. It was a smooth sonata brimming with layered power I didn’t even want and yet missed. It was a siren’s voice, luring my victims into false security while promising their deaths.

  He shivered again and settled back down in his chair, getting comfortable. I stayed where I stood and waited for him to tell me what I wanted to know.

  “After you left yesterday, I poked around a little,” he said. “I couldn’t find anything. The slauve is nothing but rumors in the wind right now.”

  “Your little seer says you know the master—someone hell bent on revenge against me because I may have killed someone important to him. The Seeker told me the same thing. This master is part of your crew.”

  “I know a lot of powerful beings and right now this city is packed full with them. I work with all of them in one capacity or another.”

  “You should have an idea on who,” I said, exasperated. Kay knew, he just didn’t know he knew.

  “Akhlys—”

  “Darkness.” I clenched my teeth.

  All the rage that used to be so easy as a child to hold back surged forward and surprised me with its outburst. The already useless light bulbs in the room popped, sending shards all over and the candles dimmed, barely staying lit. My powers were throwing a damn tantrum. I needed to quickly get a clamp on this rage before it almost destroyed me again. I took a deep breath and the candles brightened up a bit once again.

  Yes, I can do this. I can control this form, I mentally cheered.

  Kay fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. “Darkness. I wish I knew who wants you dead and I do want to help find him, but forgive me because right now my mind and attentions are elsewhere.”

  “Oh, no of course I understand. You’re priorities are always you first,” I replied with frost in my voice. Where Kay was full of hot magic, I was full of cold power and some of it was leaking out. I was trying to keep calm but I was two hundred years out of practice. The power in me kept shifting around and stretching out, pushing against my skin. I wanted to self-combust just to end the intrusive movement.

  He cringed, understanding exactly what I meant. “That’s not fair.”

  “Oh yeah it is. I’m simply making an observation. It’s who you are.” I couldn’t help the sound of my words—cold and bitter. I took a punishment for him, he owed me and I was ready to cash in. He just wasn’t ready to accept. He probably convinced himself that I deserved the punishment. “This curse should be yours and you know it.”

  He shook his head in denial and it confirmed what I was thinking. He didn’t change. I thought maybe he did if he was so possessive of his little seer girlfriend. Apparently she wasn’t as precious as I thought. He was still that self-absorbed ass who attracted me so long ago. It was attractive back then, but now it was time for him to finally grow up—to grow out of his college student form.

  “I never thought they would do that to you.”

  “Then repay me. Don’t leave me out hanging to dry again.”

  “If I knew, I would tell you,” he said defensively. He was sitting straight up in his chair now, not lounging around anymore. The tension between us was thick with unresolved issues.

  “That’s the thing. You do know! You know who his master is and yet you won’t even try to look into it.” I wanted to punch something, preferably his face.

  The candles blinked with my anger and the shadows in the corner grew darker, creating an endless pit of possibilities. I could do so much with that pit. Summon different beings through it; beings who would gladly try to take down Kay. I could feel the presence of each of those beings in my head as they waited in the darkness with anticipation. It was so damn tempting. I could only take so much shit from Kay, then I would start to fight back and I probably should have done it a long time ago.

  Lightning flashed and barely a moment later, thunder rumbled through the room. It was as if the storm was responding to my emotions and it gave me a small satisfaction as Kay also responded to both me and the storm. He paled and swallowed visibly, so unaccustomed to my anger. I was no longer that docile little girl he was used to pushing around.

  “Darkness…I didn’t mean to upset you,” he stumbled with his words. The room grew a little warmer as he readied himself for a fight. A wall of thin mist formed between us as my cold anger met his hot magic. The two temperatures met and battled for control.

  We have always been hot and cold emotionally through our weird affiliation. Being too similar for a sexual relationship created a kind of twisted friendship—at least until he went too far and left me behind to deal with his own bloody mess.

  What did that kid say to his friend? Not cool, dude. Not cool at all. Yeah, I agreed. It wasn’t cool at all to force me to take the fall for him.

  I reigned in my waning self-control, allowing the candles to stop flickering and slowly the mist between us dissipated.

  “I won’t fight you, relax.” Even if I did, there was no telling who would win. I was really out of practice.

  “Good,” he sighed and the magic in the air around him loosened. “If I could help you, I would. I care more than I like to think I do.”

  I shifted, uncomfortable with his little revelation. They were words I wasn’t used to being aimed at me—especially by Kay.

  “If you want to help, then at least think about it.”

  He considered what I said before nodding.

  A loud thud drew our attention to the door. Someone grunted followed by another thud.

  “What the hell?” Kay grumbled and walked over to see what the disturbance was.

  “Don’t,” I said as my stomach twisted with knowledge. At the same time as when I spoke, the door flew towards him. Kay barely had time to dodge it by throwing himself towards the wall and into a bookshelf.

  I stood frozen to the spot as I took in Kalen’s figure, his face twisted with anger, his knife in his hands, dripping with both magic and blood. One of Kay’s bodyguards was behind him on the floor, barely moving with small noises escaping his lips. Kalen had stabbed him in the throat. I could see the splatter of blood as the man tried to breathe or talk.

  Kalen looked at Kay and then dismissed him, turning to me instead in what felt like slow motion. His body was drenched from the storm, his hair plastered around his face, and his eyes nearly black as his master’s biggest command kept him enthralled. Those eyes reflected his soul, screaming
for my death, for its freedom and he was finally listening to it.

  I stood there completely shocked at his showing and stayed that way until he shoved me down onto the large solid desk. Papers fluttered around us from the force and I winced in pain as my breath was forced out of my lungs and something rigid and sharp pushed into the middle of my back.

  There is a defense mechanism programmed into me. If my life is threatened, my instincts automatically take over and I fight back. It makes suicide impossible and keeps me from dropping my guard and letting someone else kill me. It also makes making friends nearly impossible because I became a really self-persevered person from years of betrayal and the inability to trust people’s intentions anymore. In this case, Kalen showing up short circuited my brain and allowed those instincts to instantly click on and take over.

  Kalen was no longer Kalen. He became just a slauve, a being intent on killing me and I responded to those intentions.

  “Slauve,” I snarled and blocked the knife as it came down, aiming for my heart. In this form, I had a hell of a lot more power than as a child. Blocking him was easy, even easier to do was forcing him to stumble back and releasing me as I engulfed his eyesight with a temporary darkness. Just enough to throw him off his game.

  A small part of me yelled at me to not hurt the slauve and my instincts forced me to shut up as I protected my life. He became the enemy and enemies needed to be terminated. No one, not even a slauve, was going to hurt me. I wasn’t going to let them.

  The slauve blinked a couple of times as his eyesight cleared. He came at me again, his knife flashing through the air as he tried to slash me. I moved, always just out of reach and slowly an angry smile crept into my face.

  We circled each other, testing out the waters. He made a slash at me and I dodged, then I kicked out and he dodged that—both of us testing out the distance between us.

  “Kay, do you trust me?” I asked, barely aware of the man biding his time to attack the slauve. We had our differences, but there was no way he was going to let a slauve make a mockery out of him by attacking his guest in his own establishment. It would bring up a lot of rude questions about his magic abilities and security.