The Breakup

by Erin McCarthy

  The puppy squirmed in her arms and I basically died. It was so adorable. “Yes.” I reached out for him. “They’re good with children, Christian,” I said, thinking about both Camp and the baby I was carrying. Not that he knew that, but still.

  “Fabulous.” His tone indicated he thought it was anything but. “I love dogs, Bel, but this isn’t a good idea, you know that.”

  “I don’t know anything.” I cuddled the puppy to my chest, rubbing my lips over his soft fur.

  Christian laughed. “I don’t think that came out the way you meant it to.”

  “Do you have children?” the adoption specialist asked.

  “Yes,” Christian replied. “A nineteen-month-old son.”

  “Every boy should grow up with a dog.”

  My heart was being swallowed whole by the adorableness of the puppy in my arms. The dog yawned. I couldn’t help but give an exclamation of delight. “OMG. This is the cutest little man ever.”

  “Your wife seems really taken with him,” the lady said.

  Wife. Ugh. That dented my joy just slightly. Would I ever get married? That seemed like something that might not be in the cards for me for a very long time. But I held the puppy out to Christian, hoping to distract him. I didn’t want him to point out to this total stranger that we weren’t married. “Just look at this face.”

  “He’s very cute.” He rubbed the puppy’s head.

  Christian was doing that thing he did. Where he was calm and easy. But I was learning that it actually masked a very stubborn man. “I work in adoption. It only seems logical that I should adopt.”

  That made him snort. “Give the puppy one last kiss then let’s go get you some fried cheese.”

  Reluctantly, I gave one last squeeze and handed the puppy back to the woman. “Do you have a card?” I asked. I knew getting a dog was hugely impractical, but it was lonely living by myself. I would love to have a snuggle buddy.

  “Sure.” She reached over and gave me the brochure for the rescue center. “We always have new litters being born, so whenever you’re ready, there’s a best friend waiting for you.”

  “Thank you.” I sighed as we walked away.

  “You’re just not happy unless you’re nurturing something or someone, are you?” Christian asked. “But given that you have no furniture, maybe you should stick with nurturing the plants in your garden right now.”

  That did make me laugh. “That is a fair point. But I don’t like living alone. I like company.”

  “If you ever need a bed buddy, I volunteer. I’ll even spend the night.”

  We hadn’t actually spent a whole night sleeping together. The one night at the cabin I had only slept for two or three hours before I had gone outside. I liked the idea of falling asleep in his arms. The problem with my rules was that in getting to know him, I was stupidly falling for him. It was dangerous. I wasn’t sure what the outcome could be.

  I knew what I wanted. Him to fall for me. Us to be together.

  But that was a naïve fantasy.

  It seemed despite Bradley’s deception, I was still a little addicted to the fairy tale.

  I forced myself to be light, flirtatious. “Are you going to sleep at my feet?”

  “Whatever you want, princess.” He pulled me up against his chest and wrapped his arms around me so we were brushing chest to chest, hips to hips. He bent over and nuzzled my ear. “Let me back into your bed.”

  Shivering in delight, I turned my head slightly. I caught sight of the lady who had handed me the puppy watching us. She looked amused by our display of affection. Or lust. She gestured to the puppies and gave me a thumbs-up. That made me laugh.

  “That’s funny?” he asked me, pulling away. “Trust me, you won’t be laughing.”

  “I wasn’t laughing at that. But trust me, I want you back in my bed too. I’ve never enjoyed it as much as I do with you.”

  That was probably going to swell his head, but it was true.

  “Which is why there is no reason to deny yourself.”

  “Which is why I should get a puppy. I shouldn’t deny myself.”

  “You are definitely in need of a spanking.”

  My nipples hardened and I gave him a look. “If you say so.”

  Christian reached for me with a growl and I darted out of the way, laughing.

  * * *

  —

  “Ooh, you play dirty,” Bella told me when she realized where we were going.

  I grinned at her as I pulled into the cabin’s driveway. “It’s our third date.”

  “You said we were going to dinner.” She had actually dressed like we were going to a restaurant.

  Bella wore a romper that showed off her legs to full advantage, and her sandals wrapped up over her ankles, giving me fantasies about her wearing nothing but those. Her tits filled the top to perfection. She was going to be naked within two hours if it killed me. It would kill me if she wasn’t.

  “We are going to dinner. I’m cooking for you.” I had dropped off everything earlier at the cabin. And in the fuck shack.

  “You’re trying awfully hard, Jordan. I think I’m impressed.”

  “You should be.” I parked the car and turned to her. “I’ve been on my best behavior with you.”

  Bella laughed. “This has been your best behavior? Damn. I’d hate to see you being naughty.”

  I ran my finger over her lip. “Give me an hour.”

  “An hour until you’re naughty or an hour to be naughty?”

  I kissed her. Hard. “Both.”

  Bella gave me the world’s most innocently sexy look. There was something so seductive about her naïveté and her eagerness for everything. She looked at the world through pure eyes, and I was glad Bradley and his dickhead cheating hadn’t changed that. I wouldn’t want to see her grow cynical.

  There was something about Bella that struck every chord in me I swore couldn’t be reached.

  “What’s on the menu?” she asked.

  “Besides you?”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “Grilled salmon and asparagus with baby red potatoes. You said you’re trying to pull back from fried foods.” It was a gamble to cook something a little healthier because I didn’t want her to think I was implying she was gaining weight, but she had been saying on a regular basis she wanted to find a better balance, so I took a chance. Trying to be thoughtful. Potentially stepping on a land mine.

  “That sounds delicious.”

  The relief I felt was ridiculous.

  I had actually texted Camden and asked him what I should make to seem casual and not like I was trying to impress her, but also considerate of her dietary wants. I had humiliated myself to my brother, who had spent twenty minutes sending me insulting GIFs about me being whipped. But in the end he had come through and had suggested a wine to accompany it. I had questioned my motives for making such a big deal out of it, but the simple truth was, I liked her. I wanted her to enjoy herself.

  Bella fingered her horseshoe necklace. She wore it every day now. “I feel very lucky, you know.”

  That touched me. She had been through hell and yet she genuinely looked happy. Grateful. I guess she was just glad she hadn’t married that little prick. “Me too.”

  We went into the cabin and she pretended to help me. Bella wasn’t exactly familiar with the kitchen. But she was good company, chatting away, and she did set the table. She even went outside and plucked some wildflowers and stuck them into a glass on the table. She had that way about her. She made everything just a little prettier. Homier. It was her nature.

  I poured two glasses of wine and handed her one. She set hers down on the table without taking a sip. I wasn’t sure when I had started liking wine. Maybe when I met her. I’d never been a wine drinker. She followed me out to the grill.

 
; “How’s the job search going?” I asked her as I laid down the filets and asparagus in a foil packet.

  “I have an interview next week at a children’s home. That could be a stretch with my skill set, but it’s an interview at least. I’m starting to think this is going to be harder than I thought.”

  “There aren’t any adoption agencies around here, are there?”

  “Not close by. The closest is in Bangor.”

  “You’ll find something. I think you’ll do awesome at an interview because they can see your personality and compassion. That’s more important than what’s on paper.”

  “You are definitely trying to get in my pants,” she said, laughing. “So full of it.”

  “What? It’s true! I can’t give you a compliment?” That was the odd thing about Bella. She was modest. A girl that intelligent, sweet, and attractive and she was always demurring. It was fucking crazy.

  “Maybe I need to get used to it,” she whispered. “I’m used to being appreciated for my sense of fashion or my makeup skills. So thank you.”

  “Those things are not what defines you,” I said. “They’re bonus features, nothing more, nothing less. Someday we’ll be old as fuck and no one is going to care how you do your makeup.” Hell, most people probably didn’t care now.

  Her smile was sweet. “Bonus features, huh? You can be very romantic when you want to be.”

  It wasn’t a skill I had ever honed. Hell, I hadn’t even known I was capable of being genuinely romantic. I could do charming, but Bella was right—that was blowing smoke up someone’s ass to get what I wanted. With her it was real. I felt those things. “Maybe I should try it more often.”

  “I have no objections to that.”

  Despite my blue balls, I thought maybe Bella was on to something with this getting-to-know-each-other thing. I hadn’t dated for real since high school, and that was puppy love. Now what I actually felt happening with Bella was attraction, because dude, I wanted to nail her so hard. But it was also friendship. It felt…pleasant.

  Talking to my mom about Charlie had been good for me.

  Inside, I served Bella dinner with a flourish, pretty fucking proud of myself. I did like to cook, but I never had much opportunity to do it.

  Our conversation was easy.

  And we both knew where this night was going to end.

  It had been five weeks since I had touched her. Our brief time together had been enough of a taste to make me crave more. I wanted her with an intensity that was drawing my balls tight and making my dick hard even as I forked salmon into my mouth. I had gotten two fancy-ass cupcakes for dessert, but she said she was full.

  “Trust me, I’ll eat that later,” she said. “But right now I can’t eat another bite. It was really good. Thanks, Christian.”

  “My pleasure.” She hadn’t even touched her wine, so I drained my glass and took hers and raised it to my lips. “You’re not drinking?”

  Bella shook her head and gave me a funny look. “No. I’ve been gaining a lot of weight.”

  She was getting serious about this counting calories shit. I had a feeling she wouldn’t touch the cupcake either.

  I stood up and unceremoniously dumped all the dishes in the sink. “I’ll do those later.”

  “We should at least rinse them.”

  “Fuck ’em.” I turned and did what I had been wanting to do for over a month. Even when I had been pretending I was cool, it didn’t matter. I was a fucking liar. She had me. Ensnared me in her sexy little net. I pulled her into my arms. “Come here.” I went to kiss her.

  She turned her head. “I have salmon breath.”

  That had me pausing. “Okay, we need to talk about you thinking you need to be some plastic perfection all the time. I have salmon breath right now too. Like who the fuck cares? If you can’t ever kiss unless you’ve brushed your teeth first, you’re missing out on a lot of kisses. Am I right?” Not to mention her whole thing that sex could not occur without a shower first. I thought I’d broken her of that misconception, but it seemed I still had work to do.

  She took a deep breath. “You’re right. It’s just…training. If that makes sense.”

  I cupped her cheeks. “If you’re talking about Bradley and your years with him, I would say I get it, it’s habit. But, princess, you need to stop and really think about that. The man was fucking strangers in dirty bar bathrooms. I don’t think his expectations for cleanliness were very high. Maybe it was a way to control you, sweetheart.”

  Bella looked shocked, but she nodded. “Oh my God, you’re right. I seriously never thought about it that way. It wasn’t about keeping me on a pedestal, his perfect wife. It was about control. But I also have to admit, I created that expectation. I wanted to be perfect. Does that make sense?”

  “Totally.” I wasn’t known for being the most patient of guys, but I swore if I had to kiss her a thousand times a day to break her of his so-called training, I would. Bella deserved a little sexual freedom. Or a lot. “Now kiss me before I start to think you are really here for the free food.”

  She laughed softly. “As if.” She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Then she studied me, her expression vulnerable.

  Her dark eyes were filled with anxiety, but also desire. And maybe appreciation. I was pretty damn sure she was falling for me the way I was falling for her. I was breaking all my own rules for her.

  Bella closed her eyes. I took the opportunity to softly kiss first one delicate eyelid, then the other. I kissed her temples, ran my lips over her cheekbones. I flicked my tongue over the lobe of her ear, enjoying the shiver she gave in my arms. Then I kissed the corner of her mouth. Then the other corner. Before finally taking her lips with mine. By then she was pliant, her head falling back, her sweet sighs music to my ears.

  I kissed her over and over, until our lips were swollen and she was eagerly opening them for me to tease my tongue inside.

  She seemed to have forgotten about oral hygiene, lost in the moment. As she should be. As I was. Bella didn’t seem to understand how sensual the most simple things could be. For all her focus on her looks, she didn’t grasp the intimacy of touch. I loved running my hands down her shoulders, just a whisper of my callused fingers on her soft tanned flesh, watching goosebumps appear in my wake. I loved watching her tits rise and fall with her increased breathing. As I brushed the palm of my hand over her nipples, they tightened for me. I kept kissing her. Over and over. Until there was nothing but her and me and our bodies questing and teasing against each other.

  I wasn’t entirely sure how to get her out of that romper and I felt around her back for a zipper, but there wasn’t anything. So I just slipped the straps over her shoulders and let them drop. The front of her romper got caught on her full chest, so I shoved it past and nearly swore. She was wearing a strapless bra, but it was no match for her fuller chest. God bless her falling off her insane diet. I cupped one breast, then the other, giving a groan.

  “Damn, Bella, you feel amazing.”

  “Take my bra off,” she urged, gripping my shoulders firmly.

  “Gladly.” Sliding around to her back, I found the clasp and undid it. Her tits tumbled out and I bent my head, unable to wait another second to feel her nipple. I drew one into my mouth and sucked the tight bud. The soft cry she gave was almost as satisfying as the taste.

  I took my time, sucking and licking her thoroughly before moving on to the other one. Her nails dug harder into my T-shirt and her head had lolled back, her mouth open on a soft, continuous moan.

  “Do something,” she demanded.

  “I am. I’m driving you crazy.”

  She was shifting restlessly. “Well, stop.”

  Then she surprised me by reaching down and sliding her hand over my hard cock. Bella was definitely loosening up and I wanted to see how far I could push her. Her bra was trapped
between our bodies and I leaned back slightly so it would fall to the floor. Her hand followed. She clearly didn’t want to let go of my cock, which was hot as hell.

  “Take my shirt off,” I told her, raising my arms. I could do it myself but I wanted her to own this.

  Bella didn’t hesitate. She tore it off.

  Hell, at that minute she owned me.

  Chapter 15

  Christian made me feel out of control. Overwhelmed with lust. I felt like there was nothing on the planet more important than getting naked and sliding my skin across his. I wasn’t sure if it was being pregnant or celibacy or him or all three, but everything felt sensitive and overstimulated.

  When he ordered me to take his shirt off I did it without even thinking. I just yanked that thing off as fast as possible so I could run my greedy hands over his muscular chest. God, he was so impressive bare chested. All hard surface, with dips and valleys that led down into his jeans. His biceps gave me the shivers. He was just all man, and I wanted to feel him buried deep inside me.

  My breasts were ridiculously sensitive, and every time he flicked his tongue over them or sucked them into his mouth I felt my core tighten. I had already been wet just from kissing. He had the most amazing talent making out. He made me feel aware of every inch of my skin. He made me feel worshipped.

  When he shoved my romper down to the floor, I stepped out of it, wearing just my panties and my gladiator sandals. For a split second I was self-conscious. I had gained some weight, and not just in my chest. For the first time in my life I had a little rounding to my stomach and there was no way it was the baby yet. It was just a relaxed attitude toward food, and maybe he would find that unappealing.

  But he stepped back and took me in, shaking his head a little. “Bella. You are absolutely the sexiest woman I have ever met in my life. I don’t deserve to touch you.”

  Yeah. He’d been working on that romantic thing. I was even more turned on, if that was possible. I brushed my hair back off my forehead, and the motion had him growling and reaching for my chest.

  “I need you on that bed.”