by Minna Howard
The daylight was waning now, the lights coming on, some were laced through the trees in the square, the shop windows bright with colour. She felt better, surrounded by the bustle of people, the embrace of the city. She reached the bar and went in.
‘Hi, Saskia, you okay?’ To her surprise, for she hadn’t seen him for a while, Ivor Nelson greeted her from his place by the window, a glass of wine and his open laptop in front of him.
‘Yes, fine and you?’ She smiled at him. She’d known him on and off since university. He came here, sometimes, to work on his laptop, have a coffee and a sandwich or a glass of wine. She knew that he liked her, and she was fond of him but not in the way she suspected he might hope. He’d had a serious girlfriend when she’d known him at uni, and they’d become good friends. He was a year above her and left before she did and then she heard his relationship had finished but by then she was with Darren.
She’d seen Ivor from time to time with other mutual friends and then when she got the job here, he’d come in one evening and was obviously well known by the staff.
‘Saskia, what a lovely surprise! Are you meeting someone here?’ he’d greeted her and when she’d told him she’d just got a job here, he seemed often to turn up on the evenings she was working.
‘I thought you lived in Clapham, this is a bit out of your way,’ she had said, having once gone to a party he’d given in a huge, untidy flat there.
‘That was some time ago. Now I live on the top floor of a swanky house off King’s Road, on Chelsea Embankment. A friend inherited it from his grandfather, only various rellies still live there. He’s hoping to get rid of them so he can do it up and then sell it, though the will states he’s got to wait until they die or move on. I like coming in here and having a drink and a snack while I finish my work. Maybe we could have supper or a drink sometime, when you have finished here?’
‘Maybe, but I have to get up early for work. I’ve another job too, my real job.’ She’d smiled. ‘I design clothes for a friend’s shop. I’m hoping to branch out on my own one day,’ she’d said, feeling it best not to go out with him while Darren was away.
He’d shrugged. ‘Okay, let’s see.’
She’d missed three weeks working here when her mother died and when she came back to work, she realised Glen, who owned the place, must have told Ivor. When he saw her coming in on her first evening back, he took her in his arms and held her close, and there was no need for words.
He wasn’t always here. He travelled around the country for his job. Though she suspected that this time, his absence on the nights she worked here, was because he’d found out she was having Darren’s baby. When he’d noticed her bulge, she’d seen his face, shocked and sad. She was carrying another bottle of prosecco to a group of rowdy people on the next table. She pretended she hadn’t seen his anguish as he finished his drink and got up to leave.
‘Take care of yourself,’ he’d said, not looking at her but touching her arm before turning away and making for the door and going out into the bustling street.
And now here he was again, and she was so pleased to see him.
The place was quiet; it would fill up as the evening progressed. She had a sudden longing to talk to someone about her visit to her father’s house. She went over to Ivor’s table with a cloth on the pretext to clean around.
He looked up from his work. ‘Good to see you, Saskia, how are things?’ he said, his eyes homing in on her face rather than her stomach.
‘I… I went to find my father today. I think I mentioned that Mum told me who he was before she died. I’ve got to move out of the flat in a couple of weeks so I asked if I can stay with them – he has a wife and two sons – until Darren gets back. They’ve a big enough house and his wife seemed nice.’
‘Oh, did he know you were coming? It must have been quite a shock for him.’ Ivor looked sympathetic.
‘He wasn’t there, he’s in Singapore on business, some work drama. I didn’t expect to see him at that time anyway, I assumed he’d be at work. In fact, I wasn’t going to actually go into the house at all, just check where it was. But when I got there, on impulse I just rang the bell, and his wife opened the door.’
‘So, you told her and how did she take it?’ he asked her, scraping back a strand of dark hair from his forehead.
‘Well, of course she was shocked. Then a friend of hers came round, and it was obvious she thought I was some sort of fraud until she saw me and said I looked a bit like him. Nathan, my dad. I’ve never even seen a photo of him, so I don’t know. I should have asked Verity if she had one. I’m sure she has, but the ones in the room were only of her children. It was all a bit awkward.’
‘So, he doesn’t know about you? Didn’t your mother tell him when she knew you were on the way?’ Ivor asked.
‘No, it was a mistake, they just had a sort of summer fling. If Mum hadn’t died, I might never have known who he was. His wife, Verity, said she’d tell him about me; break it to him gently as he’s very stressed with some work thing in Singapore. But she said I could stay with them, until Darren gets back in the New Year.’
He looked thoughtful. ‘So, you haven’t met him?’
‘No, but she’s going to tell him.’
‘And he’ll agree to… having you to stay? I mean it happened when he was a young man, he might not… well no, I’m sure he’ll do his duty by you.’ Ivor looked worried as if it was him who had suddenly been told he had a grownup daughter and a grandchild on the way. ‘So, Darren’s back after Christmas?’
‘He hopes to come over for the birth, and for good in about April.’
Ivor looked away. ‘So, when is it coming?’
‘Around end of January, beginning of February, I think,’ she said.
‘Don’t you know?’ His voice was stern. ‘You are having proper checks and all, aren’t you, Saskia?’
‘Yes, but I’m only having a baby. I’m not ill.’ She didn’t want to make a thing of it like some women she knew did. She had a feeling that if she didn’t make much of her condition, let it take over her life, everything would be all right. The baby would just slot easily into her life when it came. If Darren had been here it would have been different, he might have been more interested, gone with her to check-ups and all the rest of it.
‘You’ve got to look after yourself, and the baby,’ Ivor said seriously. ‘I mean surely you have a girlfriend who’d go with you for check-ups. I know my sister was always going with her brood.’
‘No… I’m fine, really I am,’ she insisted. ‘Anyway, I told my father’s wife, Verity, my stepmother, I suppose, that I’d move out when Darren gets back. I think it will work out. I have two half-brothers, but they are at uni, so not there all the time.’ She felt a bit apprehensive now. Just because a man fathered you, it didn’t mean he would care for you. Besides, she was not a sweet, pretty baby but a strong-minded woman who might find it difficult to live with strangers, even for a short time. Unlike a mother who carried a child, feeling it grow all those months inside her, men just… well, for them it was entirely different.
Ivor guessed her feelings of apprehension about moving in with this family she knew nothing about, as they did not of her. He frowned, thinking deeply a moment, before saying, ‘You could move in with me. I have two spare bedrooms, it’s quite spacious in the house I live in, we wouldn’t be in each other’s way.’
‘You don’t want a baby screaming all the time,’ she said, wondering if she did. She picked up his empty glass and asked if he’d like another. He shook his head and began to pack up his things. They were joined by Nancy, who’d worked here forever and disapproved of the workers gossiping with the clients even if things were quiet and there wasn’t much to do. You at least had to look as if you were occupied.
Saskia also suspected Nancy was a little in love with Ivor and hated it when he talked to her.
He got up from the table, slung his bag over his shoulder. ‘I’m here if you need me,’ he said quietly before
turning away, opening the door and going out into the street.
SIX
Nathan had already called home that day to say goodbye to the boys before they left for Nottingham and as it was now one in the morning in Singapore, she couldn’t ring him without putting him in a state of panic.
Her heart ached when she thought of their sons. How would this sudden appearance of a grownup sister affect them? Though it might not be true, it sounded plausible enough. Nathan had spent a summer in Greece around that time, his last long holiday before he knuckled down to work. Perhaps it could be a mix-up. Perhaps Saskia’s mother had other affairs, there being a sort of free lovefest in the sun, everyone being young and unencumbered.
The boys had rung home to tell her they’d arrived. They were laughing and joshing with each other and there were sounds of other people around them, so she chickened out of telling them that this extraordinary thing had happened, a young woman turning up claiming to be their half-sister. Anyway, it was only fair to tell Nathan first.
How much would they mind if it were true? She sat alone in the empty house which now seemed to magnify her concerns. She’d found that the boys she knew, and hers especially, did not seem to overthink things, as girls were more prone to do. Though what would they think of their father? Would they understand or be embarrassed at this revelation? And what about Nathan himself, how would he take it?
In the lonely darkness of the night she’d stressed out wondering if he’d stopped loving her, even if had someone else and now, with this new state of affairs, she wondered if he’d known about Saskia all the time and had met up again with her mother before she died.
Before going home, Jen had left instructions on how to deal with this unexpected daughter and though Verity knew she meant well, she did hope Saskia would not turn out to be as difficult as Annie was. Annie was her goddaughter and she’d known and loved her all her life but since she’d reached puberty and blossomed into a beautiful young woman, she gave her mother (her father was unable to cope so had zoned out) plenty of sleepless nights with her promiscuous behaviour.
How would Verity’s own mother have dealt with it? She’d died almost four years ago, as quietly and unobtrusively as she had lived her life. She’d have just absorbed it like osmosis and relished another baby in the family, even if it was from this new grownup grandchild who’d suddenly appeared on the scene. She’d always been happier with small children, becoming bewildered by them when they got old enough to have their own opinions.
After his wife’s death Verity’s father had moved to Italy with another woman who had mysteriously appeared upon the scene. He’d taken up painting and was perfectly happy to hear from his children, even have them come and visit though he always put them up in a local hotel, saying his large house was too small for visitors. They did not see him often, as neither she nor her brother much liked the woman he was with.
Verity sank down on the sofa, turning on the news to distract her. The phone rang; her stomach lurched, fearing another drama. She answered it with slight trepidation. It was Delia, her mother-in-law.
‘I’m in a muddle with this time difference. I want to ring Nathan but is he in bed over there?’ She started straight into what she wanted to say without formalities, as was her way.
‘Yes, they are eight hours ahead,’ Verity said.
‘I’ll try at breakfast time then, or maybe I’ll be still in bed myself. What a nuisance it is he had to go so far away, though the firm must think well of him to send him out there to see to things.’
‘Yes, I suppose they do, though I wish he was here.’ Verity suddenly wanted to unload her fears onto her mother-in-law. Delia had lived a colourful life, to say the least, with three husbands and probably more lovers but she somehow managed to stay friends with all of them, though Simon, Nathan’s father, now lived in Canada with a new family and they didn’t see him often.
‘Well, he’s got to do his job, dear. Why don’t you go out and join him? Can you get time off?’
Delia, who had not had to earn her living for years, had little idea how most people’s lives worked and how they could not escape their jobs whenever the mood took them and expect to find them still there when they returned.
‘I was hoping to go out at half-term, if he’s still there. But Delia… something very odd has happened. I’ll have to tell him now though it’s so difficult over the phone and—’
‘What? You’re not ill, or something’s happened to the boys?’ There was an edge of fear in Delia’s voice.
‘Oh no, nothing like that. But remember when he went to Greece before I met him and before he started work? Well, he had a sort of fling with a woman called Helen, and a young woman turned up here today and said she was his daughter.’ The words came out in a rush leaving Verity wishing she hadn’t been so impulsive and waited to tell Nathan first. She tried to back track, but Delia was already speaking.
‘His time in Greece was years ago and hardly your fault, Verity. Are you sure this girl is not pulling a fast one? Perhaps she or her mother are broke and thought he might be a soft touch?’
‘No, her mother has recently died and told her who her father was a short while ago, when she got ill. I don’t know if she contacted Nathan before she died. His mind has been very occupied with this financial drama in his office.’
‘Well, I’m sure he’d have said something to you if she had.’ Delia sounded belligerent as if her beloved son was incapable of doing anything wrong. ‘Do you think it’s true?’
‘It could easily be. Her mother gave this woman our surname when she was born and she looks a little like him, she’s twenty-three, so it could all fit.’
‘I think her mother’s very lax and dishonest not to tell him much sooner, when the girl was born. A man has a right to know if he’s a father,’ Delia said indignantly. ‘So, I have a granddaughter. What’s she like? Will I like her?’
It’s not about you, Verity said to herself knowing that life had always been about Delia even though she could be kind. ‘I hardly know her, and it was… still is, a great shock. In a couple of weeks, she’s got nowhere to live so she wants to come here, to her father’s house until… well, she’s having a baby too.’
‘So, I’ll be a great-grandmother!’ Delia shrieked. ‘That is hard to take.’
‘I am finding this very difficult myself, Delia. My husband having another child who’s been hidden away all these years, and who is about to make me a step-grandmother,’ Verity said firmly. ‘I don’t know what the boys will think having an older sister thrust upon them, let alone a nephew or niece. I haven’t been able to tell Nathan yet, so please don’t say anything to him if you speak to him before me. He’s having a terrible time out there.’
‘I suppose it is hard for you,’ Delia agreed reluctantly. ‘Though if it’s true – and I’d make very sure she’s not trying it on – you must tell him. But if you think she’s a fraud and has taken his name under false pretences, keep it to yourself until he gets back.’
‘She didn’t seem like an imposter. Her mother might have made it up, but she’s dead, poor woman, so we can’t ask her, but of course we’ll have a DNA test.’
‘It’s hardly unheard of, young men having affairs all over the place and then moving on. I blame that woman for not taking precautions, so much easier for you all to get hold of them today than when I was young,’ Delia retorted.
‘Accidents still happen.’ Her mother-in-law could be so exhausting. If only she hadn’t been so weak and told her, but Saskia turning up like that was something she’d never even imagined happening. It had thrown her, made her act foolishly.
‘So has this woman moved in with you?’
‘No, not yet. She can stay where she is for another fortnight, then, well, she’ll have to come here. I’m sure Nathan would insist upon it,’ Verity said, wondering if he would. He seemed rather preoccupied since his promotion which had led to him being sent to Singapore to deal with this drama. He might rather pay for Sask
ia to rent somewhere else, and how would he feel about becoming a grandfather?
‘Perhaps before you tell him you should insist that this woman has one of those tests to prove she is his child. I mean she could be anyone,’ Delia went on dismissively.
‘She does look a little like him, even Jen thought that. She came around determined to show Saskia up and even she saw a likeness.’
‘So, Saskia is her name? Well, that’s a new one on me. You must tell him at once, or, if you’d rather, I’ll do it for you.’ Delia sounded as if she was making a great sacrifice.
‘No, thank you, Delia; it’s for me to do, I’ll contact him as soon as it’s morning out there. I’ll ring you when I’ve told him so please don’t contact him before I’ve spoken to him,’ she said firmly, knowing she must tell him before his mother had a chance to. Delia would give him a hard time, not so much for having an affair – she hardly had a right to do that with the racy love life she’d had and was probably still having – but she’d want to know if he’d chosen the right kind of woman, in her eyes, to have a child with.
SEVEN
It was difficult to get to sleep. Verity tossed and turned alone in their huge double bed. When they married, Nathan said that much though he loved sleeping beside her, he did not want to be crammed into what some people passed as a bed for two people. Sleeping was one thing, making love another. There had been far more sleeping than lovemaking these last months, in fact she couldn’t remember the last time they had made love. Their lives had been so busy lately they’d just fallen thankfully into bed and slept.
All the same, the bed felt empty and cold without him – even though since Saskia had turned up with her shattering news, Verity’s husband had become a different person in her eyes. She knew this was an unfair and ridiculous judgement. She hadn’t even met Nathan when he was supposedly with Saskia’s mother, so it was pointless to blame him for a holiday romance that ended as soon as he left the Greek island. Though in a way, the drama had just begun, with Saskia’s appearance making Nathan a father and a grandfather in one fell swoop.
