by Minna Howard
‘That’s good, we need to know as soon as possible.’ She sipped at her wine.
‘This must be so difficult for you,’ he said kindly. ‘I know we’ve talked about it on the phone but now we have met it seems more real, doesn’t it? But I’d welcome you as my daughter if it turns out that you are.’ He smiled. ‘I always wanted a daughter, not that I would change my sons for the world.’ He paused, then in a more serious voice, went on. ‘I know I’ve asked you this before but did Helen, over the years before she got ill, never even hint who had fathered you? You must have wanted to know yourself, and she did give you my name.’
‘She did, though she didn’t tell me your first name until near the end. Somehow, she managed to change the subject whenever I asked, say it didn’t matter, I was me, and that was the important thing.’ She paused, almost hearing her mother’s voice changing the subject, mentioning something exciting they were going to do to distract her.
‘We were very happy together; she had men friends, and they were kind to me, so I didn’t feel bad about not having a father figure around. I did ask her, of course I did, to tell me my father’s name, but she was vague. She said you had a summer romance, a “piece of magic” she called it, resulting in me.’ She smiled, thinking of it. She’d been about twelve and a tiresome girl at school had ridiculed her for having a single mother, calling her mother a tart who would go with anyone for money. She remembered slapping her and being the one who was put in detention. It was worth it as the girl left her alone after that.
‘Mum said there wasn’t meant to be a future in your relationship together, so she didn’t tell me much until she got ill.’ Saskia shrugged as if she was sorry to be thrust upon him, though she loved life and however she’d got here, she was happy that she had.
The evening passed well, and Nathan took note of when she was free and said he’d contact her when he’d set up the date at the clinic. They did not talk of her pregnancy or her breakup with the father of her child. Perhaps both felt they were too big subjects to discuss until they knew the truth of their relationship.
She told them about the flat she was moving into, describing the old house crammed full of elderly lodgers, apart from her and Ivor.
‘How is Ivor?’ Verity asked brightly, making Saskia feel she hoped she might hint at a romance between them.
‘Fine, quite busy, he’s got quite a bit of travelling to do for his work.’ She felt a little lost when he was away. She was relying on him too much, she warned herself. She really must get plans in place for the birth of this child. There were about two months before the birth, she must book into a hospital and get a scan and things. She’d had a couple of check-ups early on but not knowing for sure where she would live after leaving her mother’s flat and where she would live if Nathan was not her father, she’d pushed the subject aside having not informed the hospital of her new address, or enrolled herself in one in her area.
Her move to the flat, which was now bright and clean, suited her, though some of the other residents – namely Mrs Tracy Morton – did not relish the idea at all.
‘This is a peaceful house and the last thing we need is a squalling baby,’ she said firmly. ‘And where is its father? After all it is his duty to look after you both. You should be living with him.’ She stood in the hall, large feet encased in expensive lace up shoes, confronting Saskia and Ivor, who were just on their way out when they met her.
‘The father lives in the States,’ Ivor said, standing close to Saskia as if to protect her from the rolled umbrella Mrs Tracy Morton had clutched in her hand.
‘Well, he must come back. Don’t you agree, Trevor? Did you know that Richard has rented out Coral’s flat to her?’ She addressed Trevor as he came down the stairs on his way to the library. ‘We don’t want to be kept awake at night by a screaming baby.’
Trevor looked awkward, glancing away from Saskia’s stomach. ‘Well, don’t ask me, Agatha, I haven’t had much dealing with… babies.’
‘They are very noisy and disruptive, and this is a peaceful place for us in our twilight years.’ Mrs Tracy Morton said this as if a crowd of marauding teenagers were about to invade the house.
‘Richard has said she can stay here for a while,’ Ivor said bravely.
‘I’m paying rent and everything and I doubt you’ll hear the baby through these thick walls. Houses were built far better in the days this was done.’ Saskia felt threatened now, wondering how much influence this woman had over their landlord. Though Richard might be overjoyed if they all moved out, and perhaps, the thought came to her, that was why he’d let her move in. A ‘screaming baby’ might unnerve them and cause a mass evacuation, then he could sell it.
Ivor took her arm and steered her past Mrs Tracy Morton, saying they must get on. Trevor followed them and, once out in the street, he said, ‘Always making trouble that one. She is free to leave if she wants to and I’m sure she won’t be missed.’ He winked at them before crossing the road and walking down by the river.
Nathan booked an appointment for them both at the DNA clinic. Ivor had rather offhandedly offered to come with her for moral support as if he felt she might need a friend, but, to his relief, which he tried to hide, she thanked him and saying Nathan would be there for that. He was picking her up early one morning so neither of them would be late for work. She barely slept the night before, cradling her stomach in her hands. This would seal her and her baby’s fate, and she must be prepared for it to fail.
She came out of the house early at the same time as Ivor on his way to work. She saw Nathan waiting by his car in the street behind. He got out, came over and gave her a hug. ‘Ready to go?’ He appeared concerned too.
‘Yes, and you?’ He nodded and she introduced Ivor. After a moment of small talk Ivor left them, kissing her gently on the cheek and wishing her luck. She watched him walk away down the street still shadowy from the night, and then she got in the car with Nathan.
‘Even if I’m not your father, we must keep in touch for your mother’s sake,’ Nathan said as they crawled along the Embankment, the river gleaming beside them, the hovercraft setting off on its journey towards Putney. ‘After all, she did choose my family name for you.’
‘Yes, I’d like that. I like Verity very much.’
‘And she you.’
‘I also realised how hard it must be for her accepting me as your child. She’s been wonderful to me, but it can’t have been easy me turning up like this.’
‘I think she’s fine with it. It all happened before I met her, and she’s sane enough to see that,’ he said. Saskia decided to say no more about it, though she was grateful to Verity for her generosity in taking her on.
They reached the clinic and checked in. It was such a simple procedure for such a life-changing event, but then conceiving a baby only took an instant too, leading to a lifetime of hope and failures.
It was two days later that they got the result. Nathan rang her. ‘Your mother was right, as I thought she would be; she was such an honest person. I am pleased to say you are my daughter, and I’m thrilled to have you as part of my family.’
TWENTY-FIVE
Even though she’d known that there was a strong possibility that Saskia was her husband’s daughter, Verity was stunned when it proved to be true. She struggled to hide her feelings. The affair was a brief holiday romance that ended when Nathan came home, met and later married her, so why on earth did she now feel that he had been unfaithful to her and their sons?
Part of her felt that Nathan had become a different man to the one she married. In truth he had changed even before Saskia had come into their lives. She had told herself she was imagining it – he had been promoted to a more senior position, and there were serious troubles in the firm he’d had to deal with, so it was not surprising that he was worried, his mind more occupied with that than with her and the family. But she still couldn’t help but wonder whether Helen had been in touch with him long before she died, and even if they had met up
again.
She confided in Jen. ‘Since Toby started uni, I thought it was the empty house, us being alone together again, without the boys, but I’m now wondering if Helen hadn’t contacted him, and he’s kept it to himself.’
‘Surely not – you must ask him. Perhaps all his attention is taken up by this promotion. Though, I must say, this daughter suddenly turning up is enough to upset anyone and you know what men are like, they don’t discuss things like we do,’ Jen said. ‘Have it out with him though, like Alex does whenever I question him, he’ll probably twist and squirm to get out of telling the truth.’
‘You’re right.’ She sighed. This was a fait accompli. Long ago he’d had an affair with Helen which resulted in a daughter, a pregnant daughter, making him a grandfather and it seemed he had scooped them up into their family without a second thought.
‘I’d watch Saskia doesn’t take advantage of having Nathan as a father,’ Jen warned her. ‘I mean what will she do when this baby is born? Will she get maternity benefits and things, or have to keep working? Will Nathan have to fund her, expect you to help out with the childcare?’
‘I can’t, not in term-time anyway. I’ve got my job cut out getting my class through their exams,’ Verity said decisively. ‘It’s one thing suddenly having a grownup daughter thrust into our midst but quite another to take on a newborn baby too.’
Marius and Toby came home for the weekend to meet their sister. They thought it quite a joke that their father had got caught out by having a baby when he was not much older than they were. They were waiting impatiently at home for her when Saskia arrived for lunch on the Saturday, and they swarmed around her when she came in.
‘You sort of look like us.’ Toby scrutinised her features almost to the point of rudeness, making her laugh. ‘And we are going to have a nephew or niece?’ he said, now eyeing her baby bump. ‘Delia, our gran, is furious you’re making her a great-grandma.’
‘I’m sorry about that, but it’s great to have two half-brothers,’ Saskia said. ‘I hope you don’t mind me turning up like this.’ She stood in the middle of the room as if she was being held at bay, studied as if she was some weird species.
Verity welcomed her, a quick kiss on her cheek and a smile, though she felt as though she was on autopilot. She’d cooked the lunch, asked Saskia how she was settling in her flat, behaved as if she was completely fine having her husband’s newly discovered adult daughter slot into her family with ease. Toby and Nathan had obviously taken to her, though Marius seemed a little reticent, going up to his room and staying there until lunchtime. Verity stopped herself from going up to him. Why shouldn’t he go to his room for a bit of peace on his return from university? It probably had nothing to do with Saskia being here.
She had liked her from the start, she reminded herself as she finished off the lunch, but that in a way made it worse; now it was confirmed that she was Nathan’s daughter, Verity felt differently about her, and she felt bad about that.
Verity sat at the table later, feeling excluded. Nathan and Toby seemed to get on with Saskia if they had known each other forever, and even Marius, who having seemed reluctant to get too close to her at the beginning, began to join in their conversation and was soon laughing at Saskia’s jokes.
Jen had warned her that she would be expected to bear the brunt of this new relationship. Whatever people felt about men and women being equal, women were still expected to take on the weight of the family/household affairs and while the boys were at university and Nathan in his office or in Singapore dealing with the troubles there, she, despite her job, and in the holidays would be in the front line to deal with Saskia and her baby. After all, she dealt with Delia far more than Nathan, her own son, did.
Delia had not believed the result of the DNA test.
‘They are not always reliable,’ she informed Verity when she’d rung to speak to Nathan who was held up at work. ‘They could have mixed the test up with someone else’s.’
‘I don’t think they have, Delia, so now you have a granddaughter and will be a great grandmother in the New Year.’ Verity knew she was annoying her mother-in-law, and though she felt a bit guilty for doing so, she reminded herself that she too must accept this new situation and take on this challenge in their lives.
‘Will the baby come and live with us too?’ Marius asked when Saskia had left to go back to her flat. They were all sitting together in the living room before supper. Verity was reading the paper and she waited to hear what Nathan would say.
‘Well… I don’t know.’ She knew he was looking her way hoping for her opinion, but she concentrated on the print in front of her.
‘She’s got a flat to live in,’ Toby said. ‘She said we must go and see it, it’s in a huge house by the river.’
‘I know but as she said if all the oldies die in the house the man who owns it will sell it,’ Marius said. ‘So, then she’ll have nowhere to live.’
‘We’ll wait and see what happens, but of course we’ll take care of them if they need us to.’ Nathan looked away from her as he said this but then, as though sensing her thoughts, added quickly, ‘Though she’ll probably want to stay in her own place with her friends.’
‘There’s not really room for a baby and another person here,’ Marius said, glancing towards his mother to get her reaction.
Verity put down the newspaper and got up to put in the supper, feeling Nathan watching her, knowing he wanted her to send him a signal that she was fine about any arrangements they made concerning Saskia. She knew this, but just could not pretend she was finding this easy.
They’d all gone out for a walk together after lunch, the air sharp and clean in the pale winter sun. They walked along the towpath by the river, a few small yachts and rowing skulls cutting through the choppy water.
She’d linked arms with Nathan, while the young walked ahead. She asked him about the situation in Singapore really to try and get close to him again as they used to be, more than being interested about it. He said that he might have to go back there before Christmas.
‘Christmas,’ he repeated. ‘What are we going to do this year? The boys want to stay in London as they seem to have lots on and I’m happy with that. All this going back and forth to Singapore makes me long to stay at home for a while.’
‘I haven’t really thought about it,’ she said, though she had. It was barely a month away and she wondered if they would have to have Delia, who often went somewhere abroad with whichever man was in tow at the time, and now there was Saskia. Verity had no idea what plans Saskia had. It would be her first one without her mother. Nathan seemed to expect her to have it with them, her new family, and that would be fine if Delia was not there to cause trouble.
‘We could go skiing? We had a great time last time we spent Christmas in the mountains, though it was very cold.’ She threw in the suggestion to see his reaction.
‘If we go, let’s go later. At that time of the year they have all those whiteouts and often shut the lifts at the first sign of trouble,’ he said. ‘I’d rather stay at home.’
Saskia left soon after they returned to the house saying she had a coat she was designing for the shop to work on. She took the last of her luggage from the spare room with her, having borrowed a car for the day from a friend.
‘I can’t thank you enough for putting me up when I was homeless.’ She hugged Verity as she left, all of them standing in the hall to see her off. ‘Now I’ve got my own place, I can get out of your hair, but I’d love it if you came over for lunch or something.’ Her eyes rested on Verity for a second, and Verity instantly felt guilty.
‘Oh, you are always welcome here. This is like your second home,’ she heard herself saying.
‘Come any time. You have a key, don’t you?’ Nathan asked her. ‘I was about to give it back.’ Saskia fumbled in her pocket and produced it with its bird-shaped key ring.
‘No, do keep it. Come in any time.’ Verity echoed her husband.
‘Come and visi
t us at uni,’ Toby said. ‘We can take you to lots of parties.’
‘Thanks, I’ll keep you to that but perhaps after the baby,’ Saskia said. ‘And in the summer, maybe, it’s too dark and gloomy now.’
There was a feeling of flatness when she had gone. The house was cold, and it was dark outside. The boys mooched around until deciding to play some noisy online video game, Nathan disappeared to tidy his study upstairs, and Verity tackled the essays on Henry VIII. Needless to say, there was nothing from Justin Gilmore.
TWENTY-SIX
The days crept towards Christmas and Nathan had to go back to Singapore for a few days. Before he left, he said, ‘So, Christmas? I take it we are staying here and of course we must ask Saskia to join us, though she might have her own plans.’
Verity had her back to him, sitting at her desk catching up on some papers. She knew from his tone of voice that he was impatient to get everything planned before he left.
She’d loved Christmas when the boys were small; seeing the pure excitement in their eyes as they opened their stockings, their shrieks of delight when they saw that Father Christmas had eaten the mince pie they’d left for him and that his reindeers had nibbled the apples, leaving the cores behind. Adults brought problems and she wished now they were going skiing, away from the problems at home.
‘Yes, as you know, Dad and his lady friend are not keen on entertaining or being entertained. They might even forget it is Christmas, so, as usual, we can count them out. What about Delia?’ she asked warily. It would be like walking on eggshells with her and Saskia staying here in the house together.
Nathan sighed. ‘I think Delia’s got some new man in tow, she told me she might go to Aix-en-Provence with him for Christmas, but it’s not confirmed. Ah, here’s my taxi,’ he said with some relief, seeing it pull up in the street outside. He bent and dutifully kissed her cheek to say goodbye, before going into the hall, putting on his coat, picking up his luggage and making for the door without turning back, leaving her feeling bereft. She told herself he was concerned about what more disasters he’d find when he reached Singapore. After all, now he’d been promoted he had far more to worry about workwise that he’d been used to.
