More Tales of the Southern Kingdoms (One Volume Edition)

by Barbara G. Tarn

Roshan nodded and squeezed him. "Thank you."

  "Don't worry, your majesty, your secret is safe."

  Roshan pulled away to look at him, his cheeks still wet with silent tears. "I'm afraid to sleep," he admitted. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

  "Of course, your majesty," he promised, bracing himself for a long sleepless night.

  ***

  Roshan was living the rape again when a gentle shaking told him it was just a dream. The voice calling "your majesty" was husky and kind. He opened his eyes and it was still dark. He felt someone lying next to him, a hand on his shoulder, and remembered he'd asked Kirit to stay with him for the night.

  He'd fallen asleep only to get lost in his nightmare, but Kirit had awakened him. When his heartbeat slowed down, he rolled on his back to look at the warrior, although only pale moonlight came in from the window.

  Kirit moved to light an oil lamp, then lay back next to him.

  "I needed to make sure you were awake," he apologized.

  "I am." Roshan blinked in the faint light of the night lamp. "Thank you."

  "That's what I'm here for."

  "Were you sleeping?"

  "No. I was watching you, and you looked and sounded troubled, so I shook you awake."

  "I'm fine now." Roshan sighed. He felt fine next to this strong, protective man. The man who had saved him by killing General Kabir. "Shall we go back to sleep?"

  "You get some more sleep, your majesty. I can sleep during the day, when you're busy with your duties."

  "Don't you sleep at night?" Roshan asked.

  "Not much," Kirit admitted. "Which is perfect for my new task. If I feel you're having bad dreams again, I'll wake you up."

  "Thank you." Roshan smiled.

  He felt drowsy and nestled against Kirit's body, thinking it felt good – until he realized the other man was aroused. Startled, he pulled away.

  "Excuse me, your majesty." Kirit got up and went to the bath chamber, leaving him wide awake and wondering.

  He heard the sound of splashing water and imagined Kirit diving in the pool to cool off. Slowly he drifted back to sleep. The following night the nightmare came back, and again Kirit awoke him before he relived the rape. Roshan curled up against the warrior and again realized the contact aroused the other.

  Dazed and confused, he pulled back again, leaving Kirit free to retire to the bath chamber again. This time he didn't hear the sound of splashing water, so he waited, listening, more and more curious.

  Roshan hesitated, then got out of bed, tiptoeing to the bath door to glance at Kirit. The first light of dawn was coming in from the window, reflecting on the pool and shedding some light on Kirit, who sat in a corner, masturbating. His hand moved fast and he had his eyes closed as he tried to control his breath.

  Roshan peeked at him, then rushed back to bed, breathless. So Kirit was attracted to him, but didn't want to hurt him like the general had done. Roshan remembered how considerate Kirit had been when he'd broken down, and liked it when Kirit's hands had stroked him to sleep – a quiet, dreamless sleep at first, until the nightmare had come back only to be dispelled by Kirit's gentle touch.

  Kirit came back and sat on the bed, looking impassive.

  "Still awake?" he asked. "Did I scare you?"

  "No." Roshan sat, staring at him. "You're not like General Kabir."

  "I sure hope not," Kirit said, lowering his eyes.

  "You mentioned other ways... will you show me?" Roshan asked.

  Startled, Kirit looked up. "What?"

  "I know you will not hurt me," Roshan continued. "It felt good falling asleep in your arms."

  Kirit sighed and lay down, embracing him.

  Roshan felt very safe against him. "What would you do now?" he asked. "If I wasn't the king, I mean."

  "If you weren't the king, I'd kiss you blind," Kirit said, holding him, but his hands were still.

  Puzzled, Roshan looked at him. "And then?" he asked coyly.

  "I'd make you hard."

  "I can't get it hard anymore," Roshan muttered, ashamed.

  "You should give yourself time."

  Again Roshan looked at Kirit's face, pondering.

  And then Kirit's lips were on his, and Kirit's tongue in his mouth – and his heart beat so fast he thought it would fail him. He tasted another man's mouth as if it were his first kiss, and found himself panting and staring at Kirit's still wet lips.

  He realized he was aroused, not scared impotent. Kirit had found a way to awaken him with his deep kiss. Roshan couldn't believe a man would give him back what another man had taken from him, but there were obviously other ways – and Kirit had mastered them.

  "Will you go back to sleep now?" Kirit chided.

  "No!" Roshan was definitely awake by now. "I want more!"

  "Then I'll send you back to sleep – my own way," Kirit said.

  Kirit's way meant a shower of kisses and caresses in places Roshan never knew gave pleasure. He panted and moaned and enjoyed every moment of Kirit's passion until he came into his mouth.

  Kirit held him tight again, stroking his hair in that soothing way, and Roshan drifted off to sleep, nestled against Kirit's chest.

  ***

  Kirit was awake when the palace attendant entered the king's room to start his day. Roshan slept naked against him, but he still wore his caftan, so the man looked puzzled but not shocked.

  "Your majesty, your wake-up call," he said, tickling Roshan who shivered before his eyes fluttered open.

  "It's morning already?" he asked, still drowsy, obviously unaware of the sunlight coming in from the window.

  "Yes, your majesty. Your servants are here to prepare you for the day."

  "Oh." Roshan took his head off of his chest to hug the pillow, closing his eyes again. "Give me a moment."

  Kirit chuckled and got out of bed, allowing the attendant and the king's servants to come forward. He waited until Roshan was shaved and dressed, then asked if he could use the bath chamber himself.

  "Of course," the king answered, staring at him with a new hope in his eyes. "I'll see you tonight."

  And he left for his kingly duties.

  Kirit shook his head with a smile. He bathed and shaved, using the king's water, then lay down to try to catch some sleep. He hadn't closed his eyes for the whole night – except when kissing or tasting Roshan – and felt quite spent by now.

  He'd watched the beautiful king sleep, managing to keep his hands to himself in the darkness, but when strangled moans had escaped from Roshan's lips... well, after waking the king from his nightmare it had become harder to keep control.

  And then Roshan had allowed him to touch him and give him pleasure... Kirit wondered why Kabir had wanted to hurt Roshan so bad. Maybe he was jealous of a younger man. Maybe it was a form of revenge – maybe Kabir had been in love with the late king and had taken it out on Roshan.

  Oh, Gods, I'm falling in love! Kirit knew he couldn't afford it – especially not now that Roshan was king. But maybe the young man would be grateful and allow him to touch him again.

  He will use me to heal, and then he'll go back to his wife, he thought, a little sad.

  Then sleep won him. He dreamed of Roshan's perfect body and in the dream the young king was a very eager and cuddly lover.

  Waking up in the king's room, he almost wished he could sleep some more. He rose and dressed, heading for the palace kitchens instead.

  ***

  That night Roshan retired to sleep eagerly for the first time since the rape. He knew Kirit would be there and looked forward to spending more time with him.

  Kirit was on the balcony when he came in. Roshan joined him and they watched the sun go down for a few moments, then Roshan nudged Kirit out of his reverie.

  "Shall we go in?" he asked shyly. Kirit filled him with awe and Roshan didn't feel like a king when he was with the silent warrior. He was just a scared young man who had found a mentor and a protector.

  Kirit followed him inside the bedroom and st
ood waiting for instructions.

  "I want you to undress too," Roshan said, recovering some confidence in his private sanctuary.

  "I advise against it," Kirit replied. "You didn't like what Kabir did to you, so you don't want it to happen again."

  "I trust you." Roshan registered that Kirit used the general's name only and moved on. "I know you won't hurt me. Please?"

  Kirit hesitated, then started undressing. Roshan wore only his night caftan since his clothes were in the antechamber of the bedroom. He grinned, watching Kirit strip and admiring his scarred body – Kirit was a real warrior, no wonder he'd killed the wicked general.

  When Kirit was naked, he quickly took off his garment and stepped forward to hug the warrior who was slightly taller than him. He heard Kirit sigh as his arms wrapped around him.

  They stood still for a moment, listening to each other's breathing, then Roshan realized they were both hard. He looked at Kirit, grinning from ear to ear.

  "You must enjoy this as much as I do! Why don't you show me more of what you did last night?"

  Kirit squeezed his buttock. "Are you sure?" he asked, a little worried.

  Roshan grabbed his head and gave him a long deep kiss, which increased their arousal. Afterward, Kirit was too breathless to object. He loved Roshan's body even more intensely than the previous night and Roshan fell peacefully asleep in his arms.

  And it felt good waking up against him as well. It was early, the first light had come but only a few palace servants were already at work when Roshan opened his eyes and saw Kirit's face.

  "What are you doing?" he asked, blushing under Kirit's stare.

  "I watch your sleep. No nightmares this time."

  "No." Roshan sighed with contentment. "Thank you."

  He put his head on Kirit's chest and listened to his heartbeat for a moment.

  "Kirit." He pulled up, thoughtful. "Will you see the queen today and tell her some of your tricks?"

  He felt Kirit stiffen and saw him avert his eyes.

  "Of course, your majesty."

  "It's that... she doesn't know what happened and I couldn't... I mean, maybe if you tell her she'll know what to do or..."

  "No explanation needed, your majesty."

  Roshan pursed his lips. "Will you tell her about the general?"

  "I have to, to explain my presence. But I won't tell her about us, if that's your fear."

  Roshan relaxed. "I knew you'd understand. Thank you." He kissed him then noticed Kirit looked as if he wanted to say something. "What?" he prompted.

  "I've never heard a king saying so many thank yous to one of his subjects," Kirit said.

  Roshan chuckled. "I'm not a king when I'm with you."

  "No? And what are you?" Kirit teased, taking him in his arms again.

  "Your devoted lover."

  Kirit stared at him, then averted his eyes. "No you're not. You need me right now, but I'll soon be forgotten." He put two fingers on Roshan's lips to stop his protest. "You love your wife, your majesty, and rightfully so. I'm aware of it, and will obey you since you're my beloved king, but please don't say love words you don't really feel."

  "But I do!" Roshan protested.

  "Your majesty..." Kirit chided.

  "Can't you call me Roshan?"

  "No, your majesty."

  Roshan sulked – in his lover's arms. "I do mean my words," he grumbled.

  "So you don't love the queen?" Kirit asked.

  "I do love her," he whispered, defeated.

  Movement and muffled sounds in the anteroom told him it was wake-up time. He rose and grabbed his caftan from the floor. Kirit quickly dressed as well and moments before the servants came in, Roshan reminded him, "I'll see you in the queen's room tonight."

  ***

  The chief eunuch let Kirit into the queen's apartment without questions. He'd obviously been warned of the visit – but the queen looked surprised to see a warrior, albeit weaponless, in the women's garden.

  "The king sends me. I'm Kirit, former officer of General Kabir," he said as a means of introduction.

  "You're the man who saved him from that wretched rebel," she replied. So she had heard of him.

  "Yes." He nodded with a smile. "May I?"

  The queen signaled to sit with her on the grass. Priya was the same age as her husband and strikingly beautiful, and not only for her unusually light hair color and blue eyes. Kirit thought they made the perfect couple, but the pang of jealousy vanished under her worried stare. She was genuinely concerned for her husband's well-being and he'd do his best to explain what he could to her.

  "You are aware that your husband was badly hurt in the skirmish with the general," he said.

  She nodded. "And that's why his physician suggested to have you here, so you could help him again," she said. "I've tried, but my best isn't enough." She looked dejected.

  "It's not your fault, my lady. But that's why he sent me here. He'd never be able to say this himself, so he sent me."

  She nodded, eager to hear what he had to say. Her eyes widened and she gasped when he told her why he had killed his own commander who was humiliating the young king.

  "Now I understand why he is so blocked," she whispered, shocked.

  "You can unblock him, and I'll tell you how," he replied. "I'll be very specific, so forgive my bluntness, but there's only one way to do it right."

  She stared at him, thoughtful. "You've been through this too?" she asked. "Is it why you know so much about healing techniques?"

  "It's not a question of healing technique, but of knowing the body. And I do know my body and its sexual impulses. You are a woman, my lady, I'm sure there are parts of your husband's body that are still a mystery to you. I'm here to explain and answer all your questions."

  She brightened, realizing what it meant. They spent the afternoon together, talking about sex without doing it. She was very eager to discover how she could help her husband, and Kirit's reluctance slowly evaporated. She was Roshan's wife and she loved him. He had no right to put himself between them.

  Roshan found them at sunset and asked them if they'd eaten, but both had forgotten to do it. Roshan ordered a meal to be brought to the queen's room, but Kirit excused himself and went back to the king's room, thinking the spouses needed to be on their own.

  He stopped by the kitchens again, then watched the moon and the stars from Roshan's balcony, musing. If everything went well, he'd soon be out of the palace. It would break his heart, but it wouldn't hurt as much as if he stayed for longer.

  He wasn't sure what he should do with himself when Roshan didn't need him anymore. He probably needed to go away from Argantael, though. The obsession was getting worse with the king's proximity, the Keep wasn't far enough to forget him.

  As lights went off in the palace, he went to lie on Roshan's bed, remembering their lovemaking. Sleep didn't come, so he was wide awake when the curtain moved and someone stepped into the room without using a lamp.

  Roshan's scent filled his nostrils as the king joined him in bed.

  "I thought you'd sleep with the queen tonight," Kirit said, surprised.

  "No, I want to sleep with you," Roshan said, hugging him. Thank the gods he wasn't naked.

  "Why, you failed her again?"

  "No, we did just fine, thank you, but I never sleep in her room."

  "It's funny, I thought men and wives always slept together," Kirit said, a little puzzled.

  "Not royalty." Roshan yawned.

  "If the king sleeps alone, what am I doing in his bed?" Kirit teased.

  Roshan chuckled. "You keep my nightmares away." He squeezed Kirit's torso. "And are my favorite pillow."

  Kirit didn't know what to say to that.

  "Your majesty?"

  "Mm?" Roshan was drowsy.

  "Can I leave tomorrow?"

  "No. Get some sleep now."

  "I sleep alone."

  "And it's a shame."

  Kirit felt Roshan's lips on his, then the king settled for
the night and was soon sound asleep. Kirit sighed, wishing he had the strength to disobey and leave the gorgeous young man.

  ***

  A few days later Roshan felt much better, but was still afraid to sleep alone. Falling asleep in Kirit's arms meant a peaceful rest, and he wasn't sure he could do without that.

  "Why don't you try sleeping with your wife?" Kirit suggested one morning.

  Roshan hesitated, then decided to ask Priya. He went to her rooms and she listened to his suggestion with a hopeful stare.

  "Why not?" she answered with a smile. "My parents shared the same bed."

  "That's probably a Gajendran tradition," he said, a little puzzled. "I know in Arquon and Akkora royal couples don't share the bed."

  "Because there are wives and concubines," Priya replied, amused. "But since you don't have any, yet, I don't see why you shouldn't sleep with your queen."

  He grinned and kissed her. But it still took him some time to get used to a female body next to him during the night. Although he loved waking up with his hand over her breast or feeling her curves against him.

  Then she announced she was pregnant, which made him so proud he forgot all his shame. The nightmare was fading away between a loving wife and a faithful servant – no, friend, since Roshan didn't feel like a king with Kirit, who had become an elder brother figure with whom he occasionally had sex.

  When Priya's belly became too big, he stopped sleeping with her for fear of hurting the baby and enjoyed Kirit's cuddles again. Kirit had a way of touching him that made him feel so good... Kirit adored his body and he was happy to have him in his private bedroom.

  He also asked Kirit to show him some of his warrior training, so they often exercised under the sun when Roshan wasn't busy with his kingly duties. General Kabir had taught Kirit his tricks – and there was no denying he'd been a skilled warrior.

  Time flew in the royal palace, and then the queen gave birth to a little healthy boy. Overjoyed, Roshan stared amazed at the ugly baby with his father's eyes who would one day inherit his throne. Priya's eyes were full of love and he felt blessed – a loving wife, a baby boy and his subjects loved him as much as they'd loved his father. What else could he wish for?

  ***

  "Do you think I can leave now?" Kirit asked Abhimanyu as they observed the king doting on his family. Even the three-year-old princess had climbed her mother's bed to see her little brother. The perfect picture of family life – the one life Kirit had renounced long ago. Not that he missed it. But he'd miss the company of the gorgeous king.